Me: 31 Wife: 30. Legally married 2008, thanks CA! TTC #1 since 11/14 using donor sperm. IUIs Jan-Aug 2015 BFN Sept & OCT 2015 added Femara. BFN Saw RE December 2015. IUI with Clomid & Trigger Jan 2016 BFN IUI #13 with Follistim April 2016 BFFN IVF #1 July 2016. 14R, 10F, 6 Day 5 embryos. 4 PGS normal embabies!
Post by rikkiandjulie on Aug 19, 2015 14:06:06 GMT -5
Defeated. I'm kind of at a cross roads, I think we should move onto IVF before we max out our benefit on a zillion IUIs, but no one has any accurate success rates for Lesbians who only exposure to sperm is through IUI. It's different than the straight couples and finding anything reliable sucks.
However, if we do choose IVF it will max out our lifetime fertility benefit for sure, and everything for my cycles would be OOP as my insurance through work offers no fertility coverage at all.
Post by honigbiene on Aug 19, 2015 14:39:04 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for the BFN. I understand what you mean about finding statistics on lesbian IUI because there is usually no known fertility problems with the female or the donor sperm, which makes it so different than most couples using IUI. However, you have to assume that AT BEST, you only have a 25% each month of getting pregnant, as that is the success rate for couples who have perfect fertility. I remember reading in my IUI literature that only 50-75% of a woman's follicles even contain an egg, which is one of the reasons it's only 25% even with fertile couples.
In my mind, I decided that unless we did 2-3 IUI's, we weren't really giving it a fair shot. Also...I got talked into using Clomid after our first RE visit when we told her that we could only afford 3 IUIs over the course of the next year (we pay completely out of pocket for everything), because she it pretty significantly raises your odds. However, it also pretty significantly raises the odds of twins. I worked in NICU for 6 yrs, and seeing the rate of complications and even mortality with twins, I had a VERY hard time agreeing to it. My partner really wanted me to try it, and in the end I was worried I would let him down if I didn't. However, there is also the risk of twinning (or more) with IVF, unless you only put back one embryo (a lot of money to bank on one embryo). It's a very personal decision, but I just wanted to mention it as a possible step to take as an intermediate before going to IVF.
I'm so sorry for the BFN. I understand what you mean about finding statistics on lesbian IUI because there is usually no known fertility problems with the female or the donor sperm, which makes it so different than most couples using IUI. However, you have to assume that AT BEST, you only have a 25% each month of getting pregnant, as that is the success rate for couples who have perfect fertility. I remember reading in my IUI literature that only 50-75% of a woman's follicles even contain an egg, which is one of the reasons it's only 25% even with fertile couples.
In my mind, I decided that unless we did 2-3 IUI's, we weren't really giving it a fair shot. Also...I got talked into using Clomid after our first RE visit when we told her that we could only afford 3 IUIs over the course of the next year (we pay completely out of pocket for everything), because she it pretty significantly raises your odds. However, it also pretty significantly raises the odds of twins. I worked in NICU for 6 yrs, and seeing the rate of complications and even mortality with twins, I had a VERY hard time agreeing to it. My partner really wanted me to try it, and in the end I was worried I would let him down if I didn't. However, there is also the risk of twinning (or more) with IVF, unless you only put back one embryo (a lot of money to bank on one embryo). It's a very personal decision, but I just wanted to mention it as a possible step to take as an intermediate before going to IVF.
Thanks, we JUST emailed our RE, and this cycle was fairly heavily medicated. They are at the major university here in town Bd are top rated in the state so we trust them or at least try to. We just did this cycle with Follistim, Letrazole, Ovidrel Metformin, and Progesterone. We MIGHT try it one more time depending on thier suggestion, but who knows. We may also harvest DWs eggs, and I carry but that's another story. For now I'm just focusing on the baseline ultrasound and the next plan of action.
Maybe you are implying this - but your odds for IVF are significantly greater than with IUI. Even if you have no known fertility issues.
That is what I am implying. I feel like that is our best bet at this point, but DW is unsure, and feels as though that would be a rushed decision. So I'm sure we will talk tonight and maybe do ONE more Medicated IUI, and go from there.
I'm planning on at least two more IUIs before moving to IVF. That will make 6 IUIs total, which feels like giving it a shot. Chances are, if we go to IVF, we'll use my wife's eggs, since I have low reserve, and she's a bit younger.
And I would love love love to have a little version of her. I just want a shot at a mini-me, before we give up on my ovaries. So... at least two more IUIs.
My wife's insurance would only cover IVF after 12 failed IUI's. We never dreamt that we would end doing all 12 but we did. Once we got to IVF is when we actually got a real infertility dx. If your wife hasn't already done so, I'd recommend doing testing to check FSH and HSG type stuff. It may help you decide which path to take; more IUI's or IVF. When we found out my wife's dx we were actually glad we didn't jump to IVF sooner because it would have sucked paying OOP for the two IVF cycles we did that didn't work. In the end we had to use my eggs and she carried.
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