FRIDAY spam

[toadandbuggie]

Happiest day of the week!

Actually, which do you prefer: Friday or Saturday? Or Sunday? Please don't tell me you prefer a weekday.

[WittyLittle]

Heyhay!
My favourite day is Sunday because it's our only day together as a family

[toadandbuggie]

So I need more advice concerning yesterday's hair drama.

Well, since I felt bad I apparently ruined my 'friends' other appointments even though we had nothing set in stone for yesterday, I told her it would still be okay even though I told her I thought waiting until the final fitting would be smarter since my dress doesn't even fit right now. Anyway, she wanted to do it yesterday. It finally dawned on me after she charged me 50$ that she was pushing to do it yesterday because she wanted my money.

50$? That's what she says she would charge me on my actual wedding day. She didn't even do my hair like what I asked because she said she didn't want to use the heavy duty hair spray. The curls were out before she even left. My hair just looked like a birds nest when I got my dress fitted.

Also, she brought her 9 month over, who is VERY expressive. He was crawling everywhere, getting into everything, even pulling off a loose piece of molding with a nail in it that I had to grab from him before he hurt himself. (She wasn't making any moves to take it from him). He kept making screeching sounds that was making my LO BAWL his eyes out. I've never seen him cry so hard in his life. He was SO UNHAPPY they were there. I think he was channeling momma's feelings. But it was awful to deal with him crying his eyes out because I felt so bad. Everytime her kid would screech he would start bawling all over again.

What should I do? She told me she was going to bring her younger sister who just started doing hair to help her. I have 6 bridesmaids that all need an updo including my hair. She told me was going to bring her experienced friend.

I'm all sorts of anxious because I really didn't like the way she did my hair but as she said she's going to make it look better on the actual day (then the point of doing a trial is gone).

I sort of want to go to a salon but at this point it would be really rude to tell her that. MIL suggested saying my mom bought everyone's hair do at a salon at a surprise.

WWYD?

[mrsclark731]

Fridays are the best--full of optimism and plans.

Did you walk with the bears this morning toadandbuggie? How did your hair turn out yesterday?

I have H working from home again this morning, which I love. The humidity is finally dropping and I'm thinking taking DD to the swings after her morning nap is in order. Other than that I'm going to try to not fall asleep and finish up some work.

[toadandbuggie]

mrsclark731, I did go back out yesterday and didn't see any but I was anxiously looking around the whole time. I was telling my H about yesterday and he said you can't make eye contact - which I did - because then they take it as a threat.

So maybe I will go today and just avoid all eye contact

[lilyelayne]

Saturdays are my favorite. It's the only weekend day we have a chance of not having plans or extended family obligations.

[emilyz320]

Hey everyone! We have a busy day over here. Gotta do a big grocery shopping since my sister and her fam will be here. Also gotta shop for the work week too - back on Monday! Going to visit another friend with a newborn. Baby city over here with my friends.

toadandbuggie that is a tough one. How good of a friend is she? I might request another trial (in a sweet way) sans babies if you can, and ask her to do it again. The whole point of a trial is to see how well your hair will hold up for the big day. She seems kind of sketchy to me.

[emilyz320]

Also Saturday's are my fave.

[osumegs]

toadandbuggie I second what Emily said. Hopefully as a professional she'll want to accommodate you, but definitely as a friend.

[WittyLittle]

toadandbuggie, that doesn't really sound fair to me to be honest. Too many things that she's making you compromise on and pushing for I would tell her sorry but no, in that position. but I don't know if that would mean the end of your friendship and how much of a shame that would be

[osumegs]

I'm team saturday. No work (usually) and we have the whole day to have family time.

[mrsclark731]

toadandbuggie, take your MIL suggestion. 100%. Get out of this bad hair relationship you are stuck in! She absolutely wanted the money yesterday. She charged you too much money for a trial and brought her kid who she refused to parent. Why didn't she want to use the heavy duty hairspray? That is the most important part with curls! Mine dropped so fast in he humidity ... I ended up braiding it half way through pictures before the reception. I wouldn't trust her or her sister to do everyone's hair. Get out now...!

[emilyz320]

Aug 21, 2015 7:10:47 GMT -5 mrsclark731 said:

toadandbuggie, take your MIL suggestion. 100%. Get out of this bad hair relationship you are stuck in! She absolutely wanted the money yesterday. She charged you too much money for a trial and brought her kid who she refused to parent. Why didn't she want to use the heavy duty hairspray? That is the most important part with curls! Mine dropped so fast in he humidity ... I ended up braiding it half way through pictures before the reception. I wouldn't trust her or her sister to do everyone's hair. Get out now...!

Agreed - I definitely wouldn't trust her with how she is acting right now. The only reason I thought to ask for another trial is bc she is your friend. But if she won't do it or hear your concerns I would find a salon.

[emilyz320]

Also toadandbuggie I started rereading Harry Potter :-)

[lilyelayne]

Aug 21, 2015 7:10:47 GMT -5 mrsclark731 said:

toadandbuggie, take your MIL suggestion. 100%. Get out of this bad hair relationship you are stuck in! She absolutely wanted the money yesterday. She charged you too much money for a trial and brought her kid who she refused to parent. Why didn't she want to use the heavy duty hairspray? That is the most important part with curls! Mine dropped so fast in he humidity ... I ended up braiding it half way through pictures before the reception. I wouldn't trust her or her sister to do everyone's hair. Get out now...!

+1

[toadandbuggie]

emilyz320, I met her 4 years ago because both of our husbands work together. She started doing my hair regularly and all was fine. Then I started doubting the authenticity of our friendship because I started feeling like I couldn't trust her and she just thought of me as a client (even though we hung out outside of hair). I was getting really uneasy because every time she did my hair, all she did was talk shit about all of her friends and people I knew too. Or she would bitch about her husband. So how could I be the exception?

A little background: my SIL is really blunt. She invited my SIL and brother (through meeting them through me) to a party at her house. When she was complaining about her husband (Which she always does) my SIL said "So why do you stay with him then?" and she went crazy and the next day accused my brother of leaving shit all over their toilet (he absolutely did not do that) and of breaking this or that which they didn't do either. So after that happened, I stopped getting my hair done by her for a while.

Then I kept seeing her through mutual friends and she warmed up to me again so I was like, we both have babies let's try to be friends and I'll start getting my hair done by her again. Since I always like what she did.

But the quality and care she is taking has gone down dramatically. I feel like she's just taking advantage of my kindness.

mrsclark731, Isn't $50 insane?! I think she just didn't use the heavy duty stuff because she didn't want to waste product! Judging from the circumstances, I don't think she should have charged me more than $20!

[toadandbuggie]

Also, if I do what my MIL suggested, she's not going to take it lightly. I could tell she was bothered that my sister is doing my makeup and I'm not even sure if all the girls are getting their makeup done because that means she's out of money.

It would be the end of a friendship I think, but I don't necessarily care at this point. I just don't want any drama and I want to be happy on my wedding day.

Not that I think she would do a bad job on the day, but I am REALLY put off about her guilting me into doing a trial on a day I didn't want to do it, then charging me a ridiculous amount, and to top it off not even doing my hair right.

[WittyLittle]

Aug 21, 2015 7:23:25 GMT -5 toadandbuggie said:

emilyz320, I met her 4 years ago because both of our husbands work together. She started doing my hair regularly and all was fine. Then I started doubting the authenticity of our friendship because I started feeling like I couldn't trust her and she just thought of me as a client (even though we hung out outside of hair). I was getting really uneasy because every time she did my hair, all she did was talk shit about all of her friends and people I knew too. Or she would bitch about her husband. So how could I be the exception?

A little background: my SIL is really blunt. She invited my SIL and brother (through meeting them through me) to a party at her house. When she was complaining about her husband (Which she always does) my SIL said "So why do you stay with him then?" and she went crazy and the next day accused my brother of leaving shit all over their toilet (he absolutely did not do that) and of breaking this or that which they didn't do either. So after that happened, I stopped getting my hair done by her for a while.

Then I kept seeing her through mutual friends and she warmed up to me again so I was like, we both have babies let's try to be friends and I'll start getting my hair done by her again. Since I always like what she did.

But the quality and care she is taking has gone down dramatically. I feel like she's just taking advantage of my kindness.

mrsclark731, Isn't $50 insane?! I think she just didn't use the heavy duty stuff because she didn't want to waste product! Judging from the circumstances, I don't think she should have charged me more than $20!

My advice is similar to that of your husband with the bear. 
Back away slowly, don't make eye contact :-P

[toadandbuggie]

emilyz320,I was considering that but then I went to the library and got some new books instead for vacation. Currently reading Jodi Picoult's new one "Leaving Time" which is actually VERY good! Sometimes I'm not a fan of her, but so far so good.

[toadandbuggie]

WittyLittle, I really want to, but the ensuing drama makes my stomach hurt. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I like peace.

When I told my H he was like "Ok. After the wedding, NO MORE. She has ripped you off before. I will pay for you to go to a salon to get your hair done!"

I was worried about his friendship with her husband being affected, but he was like I really don't care because if that sort of thing makes you not be my friend then you never really were. But that's how they are. Luckily my H isn't working with her H at the moment. Her H actually got sent to another job because he has anger management issues and exploded on some workers.

[toadandbuggie]

PS. sorry for all the novel writing!!!

[emilyz320]

toadandbuggie after everything you said, I would get out now. Find a salon. She doesn't sound like a very good friend or hairstylist. I will have to try that one when I'm done with HP! I like most of her books.

[mrsclark731]

toadandbuggie, who cares about her feelings? She is unprofessional, and a flakey friend at best. It's your wedding! This is important! It's about YOU not how much money she can make off you and your friends. I'd tell her thanks but no thanks, nothing personal...peace out.

Seriously, cut this girl and her fake drama out of your life. You don't need this before your wedding.

[emilyz320]

You guys, LO is being so sweet and snuggly this am, makes me sad to go back to work :-( :-(

[mrsclark731]

emilyz320,nah at a cutie!

Did I miss where you mentioned you are going back to work? Are you a teacher..?

[toadandbuggie]

mrsclark731, Yes to everything you said, but you don't think I would be an asshole for doing that 1 month before the wedding? I think I'm going to take his vaca week to think about it and make a decision, but I have a horrible pit in my stomach thinking about going either way. She's done a lot of weddings before, but I'm really having trouble getting over the feeling of being used.

[emilyz320]

Aug 21, 2015 7:39:56 GMT -5 mrsclark731 said:

emilyz320,nah at a cutie!

Did I miss where you mentioned you are going back to work? Are you a teacher..?

Thanks! Yes I teach 3rd grade. Teachers go back. Monday and the kids come back the 31st

[WittyLittle]

Aug 21, 2015 7:31:52 GMT -5 toadandbuggie said:

WittyLittle, I really want to, but the ensuing drama makes my stomach hurt. I'm a lover, not a fighter. I like peace.

When I told my H he was like "Ok. After the wedding, NO MORE. She has ripped you off before. I will pay for you to go to a salon to get your hair done!"

I was worried about his friendship with her husband being affected, but he was like I really don't care because if that sort of thing makes you not be my friend then you never really were. But that's how they are. Luckily my H isn't working with her H at the moment. Her H actually got sent to another job because he has anger management issues and exploded on some workers.

I know this advice is hypocritical coming from me because I'm also a peacekeeper, but this whole situation sounds really toxic. You deserve the best on your wedding day, and the people around you helping you get ready should be putting you at ease, not ripping you off and the like. Of course she might get explosive, but she has herself to blame and it's likely not the first time she's in that situation. Luckily it doesn't impact your H either, the only thing is that you have mutual friends. But as long as you're kind about the way you tell her thanks but no thanks, then she has no ground to stand on. But that's just my opinion. Do what your heart says of course! 

[emilyz320]

Aug 21, 2015 7:41:18 GMT -5 toadandbuggie said:

mrsclark731, Yes to everything you said, but you don't think I would be an asshole for doing that 1 month before the wedding? I think I'm going to take his vaca week to think about it and make a decision, but I have a horrible pit in my stomach thinking about going either way. She's done a lot of weddings before, but I'm really having trouble getting over the feeling of being used.

I don't think you are! It's your wedding, not just some random day. She hasn't seemed to give you any proof that she will do the job you expect. Listen to your gut and stick to your guns.

[mishka29]

toadandbuggie, she might do a great job on your wedding day and you'll be super happy. But you won't know until it's too late and in the mean time you will be stressed out up until the appointment and during.