Court, do I have to even if he doesn't want to?

[wicked22]

So I indulged my ex and went to one of his therapy appointments. It was my first time and last time going. His therapist seems nice and does seem to be helping him but she made me kind of raggy toward the end. My ex and I have it set up that im sole care giver and provider and he can call and schedule visits when he wants up to 2 times a week and slip me money when he can. I am keeping take of that. Once baby comes it will be more of a set schedule for visits. His therapist suggested we go to court and have it set in stone. He doesn't want to go to court and im perfectly ok with that. I don't want it set in stone that he's the dad unless I have to. Well his therapist kept pushing on the subject till I finally said he doesn't want to go to court and I don't want to go to court unless its needed. then time was up and I was happy to get out of there. Am I stupid for not wanting to go to court and have it set in stone? I feel like it would make things more difficult in the future if an opportunity arises to move away which I've already talked to him about and he's not opposed to the possibility of me and kids moving at this point in time. Have I mentioned he's not even listed anywhere as being a parent to our child except for our sons last name. I never would have done that had I know he didn't want his info on the Birth certificate. I'm actually thinking of changing it to mine when this little one come and then both will have my last name. Anyways he seems to shrug off responsibility if he can and does so with his other 2 children and it makes me wonder if its really worth it.

[freezorburn]

Sorry you are going through this. I really think you should consult a lawyer in your state, since the laws can vary from place to place.

It can be hard to know what to do, but at the very least you should talk to someone about your situation, who would be able to make sure that you are clear as to how the law would apply to your case. And they may help you see the pluses and minuses of getting things down on paper and official, vs. what you are currently doing.

Good luck

[ontherock2012]

Getting legal advice is a good idea. It can protect both you and you child from issues that you might not otherwise consider.
IMO get things in writing.

[becwheat]

I am going to echo the other ladies. Talk to a lawyer.

IMO having things set through court is the best way. It is much easier to refer to a legal document if there is ever a disagreement.

[saltypearl]

There should be some sort of agreement in writing as protection to all parties. I don't know if that has to be done through the court system so much as to go through a legal office to ensure it's validity. I would insist on a legal document of some sort.