Can we talk about PMS?

[acorn99]

I have been pretty lucky in the past with PMS, but recently it has totally kicking my ass. I was on birth control for many years which really kept everything in check, and after I stopped BC my cycles were very irregular and I still didnt have many issues. My cycles are working towards getting more normal-ish and with that I have had some raging PMS and don't know if there is anything I can be doing to control it. I have pretty much been Charlie Kelly on steroids for my last two cycles.


The physical effects are not what is getting to me, although I have been getting terrible backaches and headaches. It is more the psychological stuff. I have been noticing that I get totally irrational and generally turn into one epic bitch which is quite out of character for me. I dont really like that out of control feeling, and I truly have felt bad for my H because he has been the one to bear the brunt of my rage. I am hoping that by becoming more aware of when I feel like this that may help me cope a bit. I am just hoping it doesnt continue to get worse. 

Anyone have any advice on what I can do to keep things in check? Or please feel free to share stories in solidarity.

[Ray]

I know for myself I go into bitch mode if I get even a little bit hungry so I always keep a snack in my purse.

Maybe try to identify things that exacerbate your bitchiness and then brainstorm ways to control/prevent that?

[ironbaby]

Been there, done that. BC kept me totally even keel, but I have noticed my anger and emotional imbalance coming back since stopping BC.

Tracking cycles helps because I can at least acknowledge that is WHY I am hyper-angry or hyper-emotional. I still FEEL those ways, but knowing that I am probably feeling them so strongly because of PMS helps me temper it. I do a lot of apologizing in advance, if that makes sense?

[acorn99]

Aug 26, 2015 7:41:25 GMT -5 Ray said:

I know for myself I go into bitch mode if I get even a little bit hungry so I always keep a snack in my purse.

Maybe try to identify things that exacerbate your bitchiness and then brainstorm ways to control/prevent that?

I do get full on hangry even on the best of days, so that is a good thing to keep in mind. Thanks!

[mrsjene]

I felt like my PMS got WAY better once I came off of birth control. That's completely anecdotal though. Everyone is different.

[teraiin]

I don't really think mine has changed much since coming off birth control. As far as moodiness. My cramps seem way worse.

As far as rage/anger/moodiness I tend to have only one 'bad' day. That day it doesn't matter what happens, I'm pissed, irrational, angry, and can make people miserable if I'm not careful. MH has become a master at recognizing it as 'The Day' (as he calls it). He can pinpoint it with in minutes. However, he's learned that coming right and telling me it's my 'bad day' isn't the best thing to do.

I find that when I'm aware of it I can control it better. I usually take pain reliever, bring lots of snacks, be sure to give myself breaks (when I can), I try to plan something fun for after work.

tl;dr: Pain reliever, snacks, breaks, and fun plans

[requiressnacks]

Aug 26, 2015 7:49:28 GMT -5 mrsjene said:

I felt like my PMS got WAY better once I came off of birth control. That's completely anecdotal though. Everyone is different.

^^^ this was me too! I got really bitchy and sad right before my period when I was on birth control. Now that I'm off it I just notice I"m a little bitchy the sad part has totally gone away.

[Deleted]

I have found, perhaps with age and lengthy ttc efforts, my pms isn't necessarily worse but my tolerance to it is minimal to none existent. Even my physical symptoms create an emotional response that was not typical for me years ago(oh damn I'm old I could use the word DECADES here). Anyway, I take otc meds for physical symptoms and use a heating pad for cramps.
I also go ahead and give in to every snack desire I have salty, sweet, or both!
I'm not sure I have any fabulous advice but do commiserate. I have one super pissed off day; but my over emotional crying jag day is worse. If I haven't slept well it is really exacerbated so for me getting a good amount of sleep is probably the best thing I can do for myself (therefore everyone else).

[Deleted]

Aug 26, 2015 8:33:53 GMT -5 @kellbell said:

I have found, perhaps with age and lengthy ttc efforts, my pms isn't necessarily worse but my tolerance to it is minimal to none existent. Even my physical symptoms create an emotional response that was not typical for me years ago(oh damn I'm old I could use the word DECADES here). Anyway, I take otc meds for physical symptoms and use a heating pad for cramps.
I also go ahead and give in to every snack desire I have salty, sweet, or both!
I'm not sure I have any fabulous advice but do commiserate. I have one super pissed off day; but my over emotional crying jag day is worse. If I haven't slept well it is really exacerbated so for me getting a good amount of sleep is probably the best thing I can do for myself (therefore everyone else).

You're not old. Don't be silly. I could use the word decades too.
In fact, i've been getting my period for 20 years at this point.

[twocents6708]

I don't have many tips but can relate. PMS has been worse for me post BCP this time around as well. The physical symptoms also took some adjustment. I think for me it's more difficult because I didn't have any periods while
on BCP so my body is in shock I usually just have a day or two before I start my period when I am also bitchy and super sad and have NO energy. All of which are opposite of my typical personality traits. If I could stay in bed with a heating pad all day and have no contact with humans, that would be ideal but no reasonable. I do try to come home from work though and stay as low key as possible. I snuggle on the couch with my LO, we eat leftovers and watch cartoons, and momma takes a shower and goes to bed early while DH does bedtime with DD. That's how I cope. DH knows to just give me that space on those days (he recognizes "the day" also) and all is well.

[Deleted]

My pms symptoms seem to change from month to month. The only steady symptom is that I feel exhausted the day before it starts.

I had more pre-period cramping and moodiness while I was still on the pill.

ETA: But if you're charting you will have a better idea of when to expect your period so you can try to plan easy activities for the days leading up to it.

[joy]

PMS for me a constantly moving target. Some months I fall into a pit of total despair (everything sucks, my job sucks, our house sucks, my husband doesn't like me, etc), other months I'm just angry at everyone. Sometimes I'm ravenously hungry and other times I barely eat. Some months I get nausea/pain/exhaustion while other times I feel very little.

The only thing I can count on is if I had a really bad month, the next month should be kinder.

I try very hard to keep it all in check. I've never said to my husband "I'm sorry, I'm getting my period." I usually say "I'm sorry. I'm in a bad mood. It's not your fault. I should go to bed."

[acorn99]

Aug 26, 2015 8:54:18 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

My pms symptoms seem to change from month to month. The only steady symptom is that I feel exhausted the day before it starts.

I had more pre-period cramping and moodiness while I was still on the pill.

ETA: But if you're charting you will have a better idea of when to expect your period so you can try to plan easy activities for the days leading up to it.

Yes to the charting! Since I have started, it is part of the reason that I think I am noticing more PMS symptoms because I am actively noting them and comparing each month and seeing patterns. I am hope this cycle that I can use knowledge as power and be a little less kooky. 


joy, you also make a good point with trying not to blame it all on my period. I really dont want to be someone who uses it as an excuse to be shitty (I know people who do that and it drives me bananas-if you are being a bitch, own it). I hope that I can be a little more reasonable and like you, just take a walk or go to bed when I am feeling like my emotions are taking over, rather than put it on my H when he doesnt know what is going on.

[titania]

I have definitely noticed my PMS symptoms are a lot worse since BCP. I get irrationally irritable and exhausted. It is nice that I have been charting cause like others have said at least now I can expect that. I try not to make a lot of extra plans since I know I will be exhausted and when I feel myself getting testy I go for a walk with my dog. Also certain scents help chill me out, so as cheesy as it sounds, lighting my favorite candle while I read really helps even out my mood.

[icedtea]

PMS has always been terrible for me. I feel like it was better on the IUD, but that may not be true. Going off BC seems to be helping the emotional parts, but I remember how much those feelings suck. I second the suggestion about making sure you don't get too hungry, that's always a trigger for me too.

I also do the apologizing/warning thing. These days it's more "I feel irrational, I'm trying to keep in check, please [nicely] tell me if you feel I'm overboard" because I don't always notice it. You're not alone!

[Ruca]

I totally feel your pain, my PMS used to be manageable but as I got older (I'm almost 30) it's gotten worse. Horrible breast pain, irritable and eating everything in sight. Some months it's worse than others so I really have no idea what makes it flare up... Hope you can get some relief.

[ceejay]

I can commiserate but don't really have any tips.

When I was on BCPs, I would just get a little moody in the days before my period.

Since being off BCPs this past year, PMS has been pretty bad and seems to get worse every month. In addition to the moodiness and irritability, I get cramps, backaches, headaches, chills, bloating, and often feel feverish. It's pretty bad. I've definitely blown up at MH a few times during PMS and charting has helped me be more aware of why I'm suddenly so upset about everything.

[Rama]

My PMS is like joy's -- it's all over the place.

My husband is pretty good at letting me know I'm being irrational, so when he says, "Whoa. You wouldn't normally get this upset about x thing," I can take a step back and better control myself. Food (not just being hungry, but having to make food -- like for dinner -- while people are bugging me because they're hungry) is a trigger and emotional stuff in general is a trigger, so I try to avoid hitting those things on the rare occasion I can actually predict my period.

I've also lately started mentally asking myself, "Is this worth it? Why am I so invested? Should I be?"-type questions when I feel anger/irritation creep up. I can assure you that knowing whether you got out of the shower at 12:00 or 12:10 falls squarely in the "no one gives a fuck" category. ;)

[Deleted]

@wallflwr926, yes, you are right probably all can say decade and some decades! I am a bit older though (I'm 43) and the emotional aspect of having a less probable pregnancy outcome and yet still years away from menopause is weighing on my tolerance to it all, not that I believe I'm unique in that regard.

[Deleted]

Aug 26, 2015 10:48:20 GMT -5 @kellbell said:

@wallflwr926, yes, you are right probably all can say decade and some decades! I am a bit older though (I'm 43) and the emotional aspect of having a less probable pregnancy outcome and yet still years away from menopause is weighing on my tolerance to it all, not that I believe I'm unique in that regard.

3 years might seem excessive but I feel like I have extra to give you.

[pismoduo]

I'm actually coming at this from a different perspective. I was on Depo for close to 10 years, and PMS was completely unpredictable for me. I would randomly go for a week of just being unreasonably pissed off, easy to fly into a rage, emotional crying jags over bad TV commercials. And them BAM - I'd get a random period at the end of it. But because it's Depo, there's no predicting when I might have some PMS-y type symptoms, so I had no way to know WHY I was feeling how I did.

Now that I'm off Depo and charting, I can see the emotional aspects of PMS coming and try to prepare. Avoiding triggers like Rama mentioned. I also tend to do more yoga and meditation. Dialing back on my time commitments (is this really the best week to start a brand new project?).

[penguin129]

H can tell before I can that it is going to be that time of the month. He notices I get really emotional about stuff and have a shorter fuse. Last month I felt really down in the middle of my cycle and was worried about it so off to google I went. I felt worse during that time than PMS. This month is much better. I actually saw AF and everything that comes with it as a relief this cycle.

[ghostmonkey]

Things that have helped keep my PMDD in check (not that you are to that level):

-Diet. Yes I want all the processed junk. It doesn't help.
-Exercise. Even just a short walk helps.
-Calcium and magnesium supplements

[acorn99]

Aug 26, 2015 13:26:05 GMT -5 ghostmonkey said:

Things that have helped keep my PMDD in check (not that you are to that level):

-Diet. Yes I want all the processed junk. It doesn't help.
-Exercise. Even just a short walk helps.
-Calcium and magnesium supplements

Thank you! The first two suggestions make absolute sense to me. I need to be doing those things. I am curious about the calcium and magnesium; do you know why they help you more?