TTCAL Check-in 9/1

[kayladawn91]

peaseblossom55, I am so very sorry for your loss and everything you have had to endure over the last few weeks. I'm glad you and YH can find strength in each other though. I don't know how I would have gotten through the months following my loss without MH. So many hugs to you!

[LadyNymeria]

I'm so sorry peaseblossom55. I wish there was something I could do or say to help take the pain away. I think being extremely sad and upset, especially at the beginning, is normal, but talking to a grief counselor sounds like it could be a good idea. I'm glad you two are strong together, and I'm glad each of you has the other to watch out for them.

I'm so sorry for your loss and everything you've had to go through. I will be thinking of you.

[peaseblossom55]

@led kayladawn91 LadyNymeria Thank you so much. This all hurts so much and sadly I just want to be pregnant again so so much.

[sympkin]

@led I deal with chronic pain as well (peripheral neuropathy and arthritis) and I have a lot of the same feelings you do. I wanted to have my family earlier and I often wonder if this is all the right choice for myself and for my husband based on how many good years I might have left.

LadyNymeria, I really hope you can get in for the scan before you O, it would really suck to miss out on another cycle. Fingers crossed.

kayladawn91, No sorries! It is totally natural to want to take that next step in your career and be disappointed when it doesn't happen.

peaseblossom55, I'm so, so sorry you find yourself here. I'm rather new here myself but I will say these ladies are a wonderful welcoming crew. I think the depression is pretty typical, do reach out though if you feel it's getting worse. I agree with the others that grief counselling regardless sounds like a great idea.

Lots of hugs to everybody.

[wannabmama]

@peaseblosson55 I'm so sorry for your loss. The emotions are are so challenging to deal with and definitely seek out some help if you can. In the meantime take care of yourself and YH. Hugs.

[sympkin]

How are you doing? Alright all things considered.

Status:Benched until next cycle.

Diagnosis: N/A

Updates/questions
Nothing really. My HCG checks are being reported on a need to know basis. They won't call me unless there is a problem which is better for my mental state.

Debbie downer (a place to vent)
Tuesday would have been my first midwife appointment if my pregnancy had been going well. It was rough and I self-medicated with a bottle of wine and chocolate. Honestly now that I'm past that though I am actually eager to start trying again whereas before I was feeling pretty down about attempting again.

GTKY: How is your SO doing?
Much better than I. He still very hopeful and focusing on the future to deal. I think it's easier on him because the losses don't necessarily reflect on him whereas in a twisted way I don't think I can ever shake those feelings of failure, even though they aren't warranted.

[notagoddess]

So sorry for your loss, peaseblossom55. I think grief counseling could be helpful to get you through the next few months.

[hydrangea1019]

I'm so so so very sorry peaseblossom55. All the emotions and hormones running through you are an awful combination. Please take care of each in this time and take time for yourself. Sending you do many ((hugs)).

sympkin that's a good idea to do the 'need to know basis'. Was that something you requested or they offered to you?

[sympkin]

Sept 3, 2015 12:51:40 GMT -5 hydrangea1019 said:

sympkin that's a good idea to do the 'need to know basis'. Was that something you requested or they offered to you?

They are pretty good at offering that on all tests thankfully. They've always asked me whether I would prefer a call regardless or just if it's something they have to follow up on.

[LadyNymeria]

Sept 3, 2015 11:12:13 GMT -5 sympkin said:

How are you doing? Alright all things considered.

Status:Benched until next cycle.

Diagnosis: N/A

Updates/questions
Nothing really. My HCG checks are being reported on a need to know basis. They won't call me unless there is a problem which is better for my mental state.

Debbie downer (a place to vent)
Tuesday would have been my first midwife appointment if my pregnancy had been going well. It was rough and I self-medicated with a bottle of wine and chocolate. Honestly now that I'm past that though I am actually eager to start trying again whereas before I was feeling pretty down about attempting again.

GTKY: How is your SO doing?
Much better than I. He still very hopeful and focusing on the future to deal. I think it's easier on him because the losses don't necessarily reflect on him whereas in a twisted way I don't think I can ever shake those feelings of failure, even though they aren't warranted.

Yesterday would have been that 12 week milestone and first ultrasound for me had things not turned out the way they did so I understand that feeling. I too self-medicated with wine and a long walk with my neighbor. I'm glad you're feeling better now that you're past that and feel ready to try again.

[LadyNymeria]

Just heard from the nurse with my hCG results from this morning's draw. Down to 27 from 88 last Thursday. Almost there!

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2015 15:23:25 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Just heard from the nurse with my hCG results from this morning's draw. Down to 27 from 88 last Thursday. Almost there!

Hooray!!! That's awesome news!

[kayladawn91]

So my week just keeps getting better.

**Warning: OPP mentioned**

My sister just texted me: "Hey! I just found out today...baby #4 is on the way! Exciting and surprising!"

Screw life right now. Why does it have to suck?

[Deleted]

Sept 3, 2015 16:52:43 GMT -5 kayladawn91 said:

So my week just keeps getting better.

**Warning: OPP mentioned**

My sister just texted me: "Hey! I just found out today...baby #4 is on the way! Exciting and surprising!"

Screw life right now. Why does it have to suck???

Ugh. I'm so sorry. *hugs* 

[hydrangea1019]

great news on your numbers LadyNymeria!!

WTF kayladawn91?! As your sister, does she know about your loss? If so, I'd be very disappointed in the way she told you. I'm sorry she told you that way and sprung it on you.

[kayladawn91]

hydrangea1019, she does not. The only people who know are my other sister, who broke the news of her current pregnancy very gently for me, and one of my friends. I'm very private and didn't tell many people. Maybe I should have to avoid comments like this...but people should also just not be jerks. No one needs to know it was a surprise. I don't even understand why that needs to be included in an announcement.

[LadyNymeria]

Sept 3, 2015 16:52:43 GMT -5 kayladawn91 said:

So my week just keeps getting better.

**Warning: OPP mentioned**

My sister just texted me: "Hey! I just found out today...baby #4 is on the way! Exciting and surprising!"

Screw life right now. Why does it have to suck?

I'm so sorry. Hugs  

[notagoddess]

Sept 3, 2015 16:52:43 GMT -5 kayladawn91 said:

So my week just keeps getting better.

**Warning: OPP mentioned**

My sister just texted me: "Hey! I just found out today...baby #4 is on the way! Exciting and surprising!"

Screw life right now. Why does it have to suck?

Oh man... Big hugs to you.

[hydrangea1019]

Sept 3, 2015 17:03:51 GMT -5 kayladawn91 said:

hydrangea1019, she does not. The only people who know are my other sister, who broke the news of her current pregnancy very gently for me, and one of my friends. I'm very private and didn't tell many people. Maybe I should have to avoid comments like this...but people should also just not be jerks. No one needs to know it was a surprise. I don't even understand why that needs to be included in an announcement.

I hear you. The text alone is a horrible way to announce it, let alone not knowing the situation others are in.

[kayladawn91]

I'm glad you got more good news on your numbers LadyNymeria!

[peaseblossom55]

kayladawn91 I'm so sorry.

[LadyNymeria]

I would love some thoughts/chart stalk when you have a minute.

Until my lower temp this morning I was starting to think I had actually O'd a few days ago. The lower temp makes me think otherwise now (open circle Saturday because I temped 40 min late that am) but earlier today I started spotting. The spotting turned into heavier spotting (still only required a liner) with some cramping.

I'm confused and don't really know what to make of the spotting w/ cramps today. I'm supposed to call the dr whenever I get my period so I'm questioning every little thing my body does. If it was just spotting I don't think I'd be questioning it, but pre-loss the only time I ever had cramps was the day of/late day before my period started.

ETA: It's bright red and had started before we had sex so it's not anything sex caused.

Any thoughts?

Here's a chart link if you're mobile and think it might help: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/ladynymeria

Thanks!

[mosdub]

Sept 5, 2015 23:20:08 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

I would love some thoughts/chart stalk when you have a minute.

Until my lower temp this morning I was starting to think I had actually O'd a few days ago. The lower temp makes me think otherwise now (open circle Saturday because I temped 40 min late that am) but earlier today I started spotting. The spotting turned into heavier spotting (still only required a liner) with some cramping.

I'm confused and don't really know what to make of the spotting w/ cramps today. I'm supposed to call the dr whenever I get my period so I'm questioning every little thing my body does. If it was just spotting I don't think I'd be questioning it, but pre-loss the only time I ever had cramps was the day of/late day before my period started.

ETA: It's bright red and had started before we had sex so it's not anything sex caused.

Any thoughts?

Here's a chart link if you're mobile and think it might help: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/ladynymeria

Thanks!

I'm not sure you ovulated based on those temps, but you could be having a "period" regardless since it's been about a month since the loss?  I know it's not a real period if there isn't ovulation but at some point your body has to shed what it has built up in the uterus.  Hopefully someone else has better advice.    I hope it becomes clearer over the next day or two of what you are dealing with.

Did you get your latest hCG #?  I haven't been around these threads the past week because I just needed a break but I've been thinking of you.

[Deleted]

Sept 5, 2015 23:20:08 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

I would love some thoughts/chart stalk when you have a minute.

Until my lower temp this morning I was starting to think I had actually O'd a few days ago. The lower temp makes me think otherwise now (open circle Saturday because I temped 40 min late that am) but earlier today I started spotting. The spotting turned into heavier spotting (still only required a liner) with some cramping.

I'm confused and don't really know what to make of the spotting w/ cramps today. I'm supposed to call the dr whenever I get my period so I'm questioning every little thing my body does. If it was just spotting I don't think I'd be questioning it, but pre-loss the only time I ever had cramps was the day of/late day before my period started.

ETA: It's bright red and had started before we had sex so it's not anything sex caused.

Any thoughts?

Here's a chart link if you're mobile and think it might help: www.fertilityfriend.com/home/ladynymeria

Thanks!

I agree with mosdub. Given yesterdays temp, it looks like it probably wasn't ovulation and you could easily be going through a withdraw bleed soon. But again, only time will tell. Good luck.

[LadyNymeria]

Thanks mosdub and @led. Today's temp was even lower but now there's some small clots so maybe you 2 are right about it being a "period". I'll watch it today and tomorrow and will just call the dr to be safe Monday if it keeps up.

mosdub - My last hCG results were 27 and I go back Thursday again. I hope you venturing back into the thread means you're doing ok. Hugs.

[mosdub]

Sept 6, 2015 7:29:05 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Thanks mosdub and @led. Today's temp was even lower but now there's some small clots so maybe you 2 are right about it being a "period". I'll watch it today and tomorrow and will just call the dr to be safe Monday if it keeps up.

mosdub - My last hCG results were 27 and I go back Thursday again. I hope you venturing back into the thread means you're doing ok. Hugs.

I just saw you have your results in your sig!  USE YER EYES, DUB.

I'm doing alright - school starts up this week which will be a welcomed distraction.  I love the support in this thread but still feel weird posting an update about myself "TTCAL" because I'm looking at a very very long bench period anyway.  I hope it's okay that I pop in here though from time to time! 

I will probably get a new hCG # on Wednesday this week.  Labor Day getting in the way of my labs!  How dare they take a day off!?  (JK) 

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 9:20:20 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Sept 6, 2015 7:29:05 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Thanks mosdub and @led. Today's temp was even lower but now there's some small clots so maybe you 2 are right about it being a "period". I'll watch it today and tomorrow and will just call the dr to be safe Monday if it keeps up.

mosdub - My last hCG results were 27 and I go back Thursday again. I hope you venturing back into the thread means you're doing ok. Hugs.

I just saw you have your results in your sig!  USE YER EYES, DUB.

I'm doing alright - school starts up this week which will be a welcomed distraction.  I love the support in this thread but still feel weird posting an update about myself "TTCAL" because I'm looking at a very very long bench period anyway.  I hope it's okay that I pop in here though from time to time! 

I will probably get a new hCG # on Wednesday this week.  Labor Day getting in the way of my labs!  How dare they take a day off!?  (JK) 

TTCAL was just the go to title. It's for anyone that's after loss and hangs out on this board. Don't ever feel weird about being here. 

[LadyNymeria]

Sept 6, 2015 9:20:20 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Sept 6, 2015 7:29:05 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Thanks mosdub and @led. Today's temp was even lower but now there's some small clots so maybe you 2 are right about it being a "period". I'll watch it today and tomorrow and will just call the dr to be safe Monday if it keeps up.

mosdub - My last hCG results were 27 and I go back Thursday again. I hope you venturing back into the thread means you're doing ok. Hugs.

I just saw you have your results in your sig!  USE YER EYES, DUB.

I'm doing alright - school starts up this week which will be a welcomed distraction.  I love the support in this thread but still feel weird posting an update about myself "TTCAL" because I'm looking at a very very long bench period anyway.  I hope it's okay that I pop in here though from time to time! 

I will probably get a new hCG # on Wednesday this week.  Labor Day getting in the way of my labs!  How dare they take a day off!?  (JK) 

Ditto what @led said. This thread to me feels like a safe haven corner of GKU (not that the rest isn't "safe"!) for those of us that have had a loss. Please don't feel weird for being in here because you're facing extended bench time.

Sorry Labor day is getting in the way of your next labs! Stupid day off! Well, not really I'm quite enjoying having a ling weekend! lol

I'm hoping for a great drop for you!! FX! I'm glad school will be a good distraction for you. Hope it helps make time pass quickly.

[LadyNymeria]

Well a liner is no longer enough so I'm gonna go ahead and call this my period. With vacation next week I might not be able to fit in the sonohysterogram now this month, but I've never been so happy to see a period.

[Deleted]

Sept 6, 2015 11:42:10 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Well a liner is no longer enough so I'm gonna go ahead and call this my period. With vacation next week I might not be able to fit in the sonohysterogram now this month, but I've never been so happy to see a period.

You should still call and try to schedule. They'll do an ultrasound before to make sure you haven't ovulated yet, so there's no harm in trying to get in!