Tell me if I'm being reasonable or cheap...

[somethingcleverer]

So we are having H's big birthday party this weekend at a pizza place. Tim wanted to run a tab for beer and wine but I'm getting nervous that his friends can drink us into the poorhouse. I want to either do beer and wine for the first 2 hours and have the guests pay for their drinks the last hour or set a dollar limit of around $250 or $300. H thinks that's stupid and says its just a bunch of old guys, they're not going to be slamming drinks- even though h is the old guy who can slam drinks with the best of them.

So would you be pissed if you went to a birthday party at a restaurant and was expected to pay for some of you drinks but not all of them?

[vanessalc]

I wouldn't be expecting someone to be buying my drinks, so I would be thrilled with having an "open" bar for an hour or 2.

[justbeth]

Same as vanessalc! I'd cap it with a dollar amount so you don't end up going over budget.

[snickers4everyone]

I've never gone to a birthday party out somewhere that had an open bar. I think two hours is very generous. People drink more when it's free, so I certainly wouldn't feel pressured to do more than that.

[xanthepants]

somethingcleverer, I think 2 hours is generous. I wouldn't expect people to stay ouch longer than that anyway. Of course if they heard free drinks all night, you can bet you'd get a few guys staying all night running a tab up to a huge amount ordering special things.

[roo1582]

I also agree with vanessalc.

[somethingcleverer]

Thanks ladies. H is acting like I'm the fun police cutting everyone off because I'm mean. But we have some other big expenses coming up and I just don't want to spend a ton of money on beer for other people!

[jodielyn10]

I agree with PPs, 2 hr limit is very generous.

When we host a party at our house, we always provide the beer/wine/etc; but when we've had bday dinners for myself or my H at a restaurant we've only paid for ourselves. All the birthday celebrations at restaurants among my friends are always dutch, so I think even offering to pay the tab for 2 hrs is more than expected.

[samelly]

I wouldn't do the two hour thing because I think that would just encourage some people to order as much as they can in two hours, lol.

I would never expect anyone to pay for my drinks at a birthday party. I think if you did a simple "the first round is on us!", everyone would be thrilled at that.

[junkytrunk]

I would never expect to get free drinks at a birthday party at a restaurant. If it was at your house, that would be a different thing, but a restaurant is usually fend for yourself type deal.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Like the other said, I wouldn't expect to show up for a birthday party at a restaurant and have any expectation of an open bar, so I think what you've offered is pretty generous and reasonable, just because there are people that will drink themselves stupid only because it's free.

[mrsrek10]

I agree with all of the above! I expect to pay my own way when we celebrate a birthday at a restaurant!

[mrsplaydoh]

Same as junkytrunk at a restaurant I would expect to pay for our own drinks the whole time. You're being very generous!!

[origamimommy]

Sept 3, 2015 9:09:12 GMT -5 jodielyn10 said:

I agree with PPs, 2 hr limit is very generous.

When we host a party at our house, we always provide the beer/wine/etc; but when we've had bday dinners for myself or my H at a restaurant we've only paid for ourselves. All the birthday celebrations at restaurants among my friends are always dutch, so I think even offering to pay the tab for 2 hrs is more than expected.

Exactly this.

[somethingcleverer]

Thanks! I talked to H again and he thinks setting a cap is a good idea now. He must realized which friends are coming lol. The other day he was resistant to the idea but now he's coming around to my side. I think what I might do is order a few pitchers right away so that people drink that and it's not as much as individual drinks for everyone that wants a drink. It's a room full of cops, they'll drink what's out

[pinkluna]

Sept 3, 2015 9:12:14 GMT -5 junkytrunk said:

I would never expect to get free drinks at a birthday party at a restaurant. If it was at your house, that would be a different thing, but a restaurant is usually fend for yourself type deal.

Yep this!  And honestly even if our friends said they were paying I would feel bad taking advantage and would limit my drinks. Not that I'm a big drinker but I think that goes for everything. I'm not gonna order more than the usual just because I'm not paying. 

[laurski81]

Sept 3, 2015 9:12:14 GMT -5 junkytrunk said:

I would never expect to get free drinks at a birthday party at a restaurant. If it was at your house, that would be a different thing, but a restaurant is usually fend for yourself type deal.

This exactly.

[bliz1712]

Let me just say that I would LOVE to be your friend!!!

We don't usually do much for our birthday but when we are out we never buy drinks for everyone else on our birthday. It's usually the other way around. Everyone buys us the drinks since it's our Day. I think you are doing more than enough and the cap is plenty.

[sarahandeddie]

I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for my alcohol at all. I'd just provide soda, tea, ext and call it good.

[cookiesandwine]

Sept 3, 2015 9:47:44 GMT -5 somethingcleverer said:

Thanks! I talked to H again and he thinks setting a cap is a good idea now. He must realized which friends are coming lol. The other day he was resistant to the idea but now he's coming around to my side. I think what I might do is order a few pitchers right away so that people drink that and it's not as much as individual drinks for everyone that wants a drink. It's a room full of cops, they'll drink what's out

Pitchers is a really good idea!

[aylafsu1881]

I agree with everyone else and I am glad your H came around. I am sure none of his friends are going to get shit faced drunk, but beer/wine can be expensive. You could rack up a $500+ bill easily if you a big group.