Putting baby to bed 'awake but drowsy'

[baileybaileybne]

Calling all mums of sleep superstars.

Sorry, this is long.

Little P is easy to get down for the night... By nursing. She usually has a good stretch of 4 to 5 hours, then another one of about 3 hours which is great. That takes us to about 2 or 3am.

After those feeds, she's drowsy and I put her back into her bassinet, she squirms for a few minutes and falls asleep.

But then...

She's up every hour until 5 or 6am. I don't think she's really hungry, but she gets more and more vocal until I get her, nurse and she'll do the same thing.

Day time naps are usually after nursing, occasionally patting and rocking.

So my question is:
1) am I delusional about the MOTN routine being drowsy but awake and I'm letting her go too far before putting her down;
2) what does drowsy but awake look like for you LOs, and
3) how do you get them to that point? What do you do if they're nursing and getting sleepy? Stop the feed?

At this stage it's not worrying me too much when we get long stretches at the beginning of the night but she was overtired when she went down last night so it sucked: no long stretches at all. Also, I want to try and get a good system happening before it becomes a problem.

I'm not a fan of cry it out. She's 12 weeks.

Any insight for me to work on?

Thanks!

[bookninja]

Um... For nights, I totally nurse to sleep. I think for me, I notice she sleeps longer the more often I nurse her in the late afternoon/evening. So, after about 4 pm or so she eats when and how long she wants, even if it's only been an hour. A friend of mine called this "tanking up". If she happens to nod off during the last feed, I do try to gently wake her to have the second side. Sometimes when I put her down she wakes back up... Then I try nap techniques like sway and shhhh. Generally, she'll drop back off, and I can put her down without waking. I figure this is the time that I can nurse her to sleep. Eventually of like to move to drowsy but awake, but I'm in no real rush. I figure I'll tackle that after we've done switch from RNP to crib, which I am dreading, because she's sleeping so well (8-4 or 5) in the RNP.

[wegrowsheep]

I nurse or rock to sleep. I did the same with my last 2. At one, we do CIO.

[sugarkissed]

DD1 was nursed to sleep until about 10 months. I tried the drowsy but awake and it NEVER worked. She has absolutely no problems falling asleep on her own now.

[mathistm]

I rock her until she is asleep enough for her paci to fall out or I can take it out and she's fine. Otherwise she panics and wakes up when I put her down and it falls out. During the day she always nurses as soon as she wakes up from a nap but I rock her to sleep.
I also do the tanking up method starting at about 630.

[baileybaileybne]

You all made me feel so much better about it! I figure I'll just stick to it for a while then and try to stretch out night sleeps with bigger feeds and time.
Thanks!

[billyhorrible]

So let me start by saying this doesn't sound like a drowsy but awake problem, because it sounds like she falls asleep fine when you put her in drowsy. Am I misreading that part? Or is the issue after that wake up, the next wake ups where she wants to nurse to sleep?

1) am I delusional about the MOTN routine being drowsy but awake and I'm letting her go too far before putting her down; I don't think this is an issue, based on my experience. I always nursed LBB until he was fully asleep, then held him a couple minutes longer, then put him in bed. "Drowsy but awake" didn't work and he'd scream and get himself worked up and it would take hours to get him back to sleep. BH I could basically toss into his crib from across the room when we're done nursing and he'd roll over and go to sleep. Both had very similar sleep patterns at this age in terms of how long they slept.
2) what does drowsy but awake look like for you LOs, andI haven't attempted this unswaddled with BH yet, but during the day I used to swaddle him at the first sign of sleepiness (first yawn, eye rub, or fuss) then rock him and sing a lullabye and after that just place him in the crib. All bets off next weekend when I try without the swaddle. At night I honestly just nurse until he unlatches, put him in the crib and leave.
3) how do you get them to that point? What do you do if they're nursing and getting sleepy? Stop the feed? Again, I don't really worry whether he's asleep or close. I nurse until he unlatches, whether it's because he fell asleep or because he's full. But I have the benefit of having a kid who could never do that, so I know there's no relation to that and having them develop into a good sleeper later on.

[musicfrk2002]

J has to be fully asleep. He usually eats his last bottle for the night and falls asleep on me. I hold him for 30 to 45 minutes (he spits up a lot still) and once I am sure he is asleep he goes in his bed. We used to be able to out him down drowsy, but that hasn't worked for us in about a month.

[baileybaileybne]

billyhorrible yes she'll settle again if she stirs when I put her down asleep/close to it after feeding at night, but she certainly doesn't settle when I put her down (especially with eyes open) during the day. She gets very worked up very quickly and there is no way she's wanting to relax and sleep after that. But I'm wondering if I'm just not giving it enough of a chance and she'll learn if I persist, or if she just doesn't like that and j should stick with outing her down asleep. I'm not too concerned about the duration of her day sleeps at this stage, more wondering if I try to teach self-settling it might stretch out night sleeps. My gut says no, but I'm scared I'm starting bad habits.

But from PPs comments I feel like I should just stick with what's working for now?

[baileybaileybne]

Sept 8, 2015 19:36:53 GMT -5 sammyca said:

Hi baileybaileybne - there's an Aussie book called Babybliss which I found super useful for DD who was most definitely not down with drowsy but awake. My boys have both been great with drowsy but awake but DS2 still has a very similar night sleep pattern to your LO.

Hi: good to hear from you!

Thanks, I'll go look for it. Glad to hear it's normal at this point.

[silv3rlining]

I don't think it's uncommon for them to wake more frequently after the 1st MOTN feeding. However it is understandable to not be thrilled/want every hour wakeup after that. For both of my kids, DS and now LO I nurse MOTN and put them back in the crib (usually with a pacifier) and with LO I turn on her mobile white noise and the vibration thing from her RnP that I put on her crib. The 1st 6-8 weeks she was in theory in the RnP. But often wouldn't settle back to sleep and u ended up holding her and falling asleep. I think for each baby it's different. They just "get it" at some point.

As far as falling asleep for the night I had to rock/nurse DS to sleep and he had to really be asleep to put him down. LO wouldn't be put down at night for the first 2 months easily at all. Lately (since we've transitioned to her crib) she seems to do the drowsy but awake. If she nods off while nursing I make sure she's finished and then put her in the crib with a paci. Sometimes I have to go back in and replace her paci. Also do the mobile white noise and vibration.

[carolyngrace]

baileybaileybne, I agree with people saying it sounds like it's working pretty well for you at this point. I wouldn't change anything up too drastically. It seems like those short early morning sleeps SHOULD extend themselves on their own eventually (considering LO does so well for the first couple stretches).

We do drowsy but awake. But we also let DB cry. I do NOT think we "cry it out" but we will let him cry for up to 5 minutes. Often he will go from SCREAMING to completely asleep within minutes, all on his own. If he's still crying at 5 minutes I calm him and lay him back down. There are other times he falls asleep without crying at all (mostly his first nap of the day, when he's well rested and happy).

If he falls asleep nursing I don't worry about it, because it's rare, and because often when I walk him around and burp him afterwards he will wake back up.

[dmoney]

Most nights our bedtime routine looks like this.

1. DH gives DD a bottle,
2. we then read her a story.
3. I turn off the lights and turn on ipod that has lullibies
4. DH rocks her to "twlight" In most cases she is almost asleep but her eyes might still be open. He will then put her into her crib and shut the door.

Depending on the night this usually works. Some nights if she hasnt napped as much after about 10 minutes if she is not asleep I will go in and nurse her to sleep. I never let her sit there and CIO but if she is just being fussy and moving around a little bit, I will let her be.

[mrsmonogrammed]

For nighttime I nurse her right before she goes to bed. She usually falls into a light sleep on the boob, but wakes up/stirs when I put her down in her crib. As long as she has her paci she will fall back asleep on her own!

Naps are another story, I swaddle her (just like at night) and place her in her crib about 1-1.5hrs after she last woke up. She almost always has her "tired eyes" on- her eyelids get red/heavy. Does P have a tired face you could look out for? Sometimes when I put her down for nap she fusses for a few minutes, but I stand beside the crib patting her back and putting the paci back in when necessary making sure to avoid eye contact. She ALWAYS wakes right up of she catches my eye!
I think that if you can catch her before she realizes she's tired you might have an easier time getting her down:) When I switched to a more "follow the clock" schedule I felt like I spent the entire first day trying to put her to sleep- so frustrating!! But now she's doing really well napping at those intervals and takes a lot less time and effort to get down.

ETA- if she falls asleep nursing, I just roll with it and let her nap. But usually I try to nurse her right when she wakes up from a nap so we don't run into that issue too often:)

[jessila]

The whole drowsy thing doesn't really work for Owen. I did notice that when I was able to start reading his tired cues (red/heavy eyes, pulling at his ear/hair, confusion between if he wants to pout or smile) that things became easier. He actually avoids eye contact with me if he's really tired. I find it kind of funny that he does it. I will also give him a few minutes to fuss before checking on him. I usually wait 10ish minutes. If he starts ramping himself up I'll go in. Otherwise he will resettle and sleep longer. Once I started giving him time to resoothe himself sleeping got better.

Edit bc I put O in the swing when I saw he was drowsy and he went to sleep on his own!!!! It took about 10 minutes and he did fuss, babble, and coo but I didn't go to him.

[Deleted]

My first baby if we tried drowsy but awake would look at me like I was crazy and scream bloody murder for way too long for my comfort so we never did drowsy but awake.

This one seems like she could be into it. Like right now I rock her to sleep at night but at a certain point she prefers to be put down and left alone in her crib which is an entirely new experience for me after being w DS for so long. If I hold her for too long she is more likely to wake up So I am putting her down mostly asleep but she will open her eyes sometimes, look at me and then close her eyes and go to sleep. With DS if he opened his eyes and saw me he would completely freak out at why I wasn't holding him.

Some babies though really prefer drowsy but awake so it depends on your babies personality. I wouldn't push it at this age it could be too early especially since they can't roll to tummy or side yet to get in their preferred sleep position on their own.

[Deleted]

I agree w billyhorrible that drowsy but awake doesn't relate to night wake ups. Both my kids woke in similar patterns at night. So you can have a baby that does drowsy but awake but will also have frequent night waking.

im sorry about the frequent night wakings. We had that for a few weeks where from 2-6am she was up every hour. I found out later she had a rash hidden in a neck fold that I didn't see .

Maybe for you it could be that baby is uncomfortable? Can you experiment w different pajamas? Like one night try baby wearing less clothes and one night more clothes. Also try different brand sleep sacks? Is there a fan or noise machine in the room for white noise? My baby started sleeping better once we started using a humidifier. It's really dry in our area right now.

[baileybaileybne]

Sept 9, 2015 17:44:39 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

I agree w billyhorrible that drowsy but awake doesn't relate to night wake ups. Both my kids woke in similar patterns at night. So you can have a baby that does drowsy but awake but will also have frequent night waking.

im sorry about the frequent night wakings. We had that for a few weeks where from 2-6am she was up every hour. I found out later she had a rash hidden in a neck fold that I didn't see .

Maybe for you it could be that baby is uncomfortable? Can you experiment w different pajamas? Like one night try baby wearing less clothes and one night more clothes. Also try different brand sleep sacks? Is there a fan or noise machine in the room for white noise? My baby started sleeping better once we started using a humidifier. It's really dry in our area right now.

Good idea to look for issues with comfort. I'll have a think about what I can mix up.
Also thanks for the reinforcement that her personality might just not be in to it and perhaps she's a bit too young yet.

[mcp6286]

We put H down drowsy but awake almost every night. We do the same routine - bath, swaddle, rock and "snack", lullaby - and put her down immediately afterwards. Some nights she's asleep, some she's drowsy and falls asleep quickly, some nights she lies in her RnP for half an hour just looking around and yawning before falling asleep. My major rule is once she's in, she doesn't come out. If she's having a hard night, I'll sit next to the RnP to stroke her head and sing more, but I never take her out and hold her. I want her to know once she goes to bed, she stays in bed.

What time/how quickly she falls asleep doesn't affect her sleep patterns. The doctor said that at this age, most babies have a certain time they'll wake up regardless of what time they go down. Hers is between 4:30-5:30 AM, then we get another 1-2 hour stretch.

[missjenniebean]

We have a routine that she definitely doesn't like messed with. We get her in her sleeper about 630-7 and depending on her cues, either straight to the crib with her mobile playing or swing to calm her down. She's usually out by 730. She wakes up between 5-545 everyday. We just make sure we are following her cues but we started getting ready routine early so she would recognize it. She naturally went from falling asleep Between 10-12 to 730 on her own. Which is nice for me!

Eta: she also started waking up just to cuddle back to sleep then just when the pacifier is under her. It took time but they get there, they are all different for sure:)