Somebody help me. We're getting desperate here...

[mrsdee1982]

I cross posted this on the breast feeding board already.

I need help. I am getting desperate.


Charlotte is 14w3d. She has always been a champion nurser. She latched within 15 minutes of being born and has been a perfect nurser since then.



On Tuesday, September 1st I went back to work. I am working 3 days a week right now (Tue-Thurs). She was fine Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Then all of the sudden on Friday, she decided to reject my breast during one of her afternoon feedings. I figured she just wasn't hungry. Well, it got worse. Way worse.



She has now rejected my breast for pretty much all but her middle of the night feedings since Friday. She starts to scream and cry so hard it sounds like she is hyperventilating. Once she starts screaming like that, there is no calming her down and she goes on for 20-45 minutes at a time usually. She arches her back and trys to pull away from my body. This is happening multiple times a day. I cannot cut out the bottle completely because she has to be fed while I am back at work. I just don't know what to do. It has been 6 days now. How long will this last? What do I do? How do I keep myself from just saying "Ok, we're done. We're a bottle family now." ?



My DH works weird hours, so on the days that he works, he usually leaves for work around 8:30 in the am and doesn't get home until about 8:30-9 pm, which means I am on my own with her for the whole day/night.



Somebody please tell me what to do. Somebody please help me!

ETA:

She is not sick. I have not changed anything about my diet. When she gets a bottle, she gulps down 5-6 ounces at a time usually. I've tried nursing her while lying on my side. I've tried singing to her. I've tried in the rocking chair, standing up, sitting on the couch. I've tried nursing in a completely dark room.

[missjenniebean]

I wish I could help but V did the same thing when she started daycare. She is better now, we kinda just waited it out be I didn't know what else to do. :/ FX it gets better for you

[mrsdee1982]

missjenniebean, how long did it take for her to get better?

[amber311]

Maybe try a nipple shield? That way it is like the bottle nipple? I'm by no means an expert but it's just a thought.

[missjenniebean]

Sept 9, 2015 22:22:43 GMT -5 mrsdee1982 said:

missjenniebean, how long did it take for her to get better?

I am not sure, tbh. Once we got t in a routine it was better. She is supplemented as well so she still gets a bottle. I would ebf at home and whenever possible.

[missjenniebean]

Sept 9, 2015 22:45:19 GMT -5 amber311 said:

Maybe try a nipple shield? That way it is like the bottle nipple? I'm by no means an expert but it's just a thought.

Might work . I lost mine and was too cheap to get another one but I though about it.

[tulips114]

Does she have tongue tie?
My DD1 refused to nurse after getting a bottle and I just EP'd and didn't realize until she was 9 months that she was tongue tied.
She nursed great before I went back to work, so I never suspected tongue tie. I didn't notice it until we visited a friends baby who is 6 months younger and saw his tongue and how different it looked. At that point it was too late, I was done pumping and I had a freezer full of milk to get her past 12 months.
In hindsight, I figure after getting several bottles a day for days in a row she just figured out it was way easier and refused to nurse. I'll never know for sure if it was due to the tongue tie but I really feel like it was. It still has not been clipped because the pedi says it's not necessary now, but agrees she is tongue tied.
ETA for clarification

[mrsdee1982]

Sept 9, 2015 23:07:53 GMT -5 tulips114 said:

Does she have tongue tie?
My DD1 refused to nurse after getting a bottle and I just EP'd and didn't realize until she was 9 months that she was tongue tied.
She nursed great before I went back to work, so I never suspected tongue tie. I didn't notice it until we visited a friends baby who is 6 months younger and saw his tongue and how different it looked. At that point it was too late, I was done pumping and I had a freezer full of milk to get her past 12 months.
In hindsight, I figure after getting several bottles a day for days in a row she just figured out it was way easier and refused to nurse. I'll never know for sure if it was due to the tongue tie but I really feel like it was. It's still has not been clipped because the pedi says it's bit necessary now, but agrees she is tongue tied.
ETA for clarification

I don't believe so.  But I'm not sure.  DH had tongue tie.  If this keeps up, I'm going to call her pediatrician and go in to make sure there is nothing else physically going on with her.  I will have them check  

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry. That must be a horrible feeling.

My baby arches her back and screams when she is chronically overtired. It's one of her major sleep cues. Like she will show hunger cues but really she is not hungry. How is she sleeping and napping?

I would do baby wearing and skin to skin time as much as possible to get her back to the breast and call your pedi to ask for advice as well.

[billyhorrible]

If she's gulping 5-6 oz from the bottle and refusing the breast, my guess is that you have the classic bottle problem I wrote about when we were pregnant.

It's ridiculously easy to overfeed from a bottle, because they physically can't stop the flow like they can with the breast. Add to that the fact that the bottle naturally is faster and doesn't give the brain time to realize the stomach is full, and you've got the perfect storm. Baby is forced to overeat, which stretches the stomach and increases their need to eat more than you can physically supply.

I'd suggest working on the paced bottle feeding to make it less attractive to her. Babies are lazy. She doesn't want to work. She doesn't want the breast because it takes more work than the bottle and she can't get enough milk. So if you can make her work harder at the bottle, she'll stop preferring it. She should be nearly upright during a feed with the bottle practically parallel to the floor (because obviously completely parallel would make it impossible to get milk at a certain point). It should take a good 15-20 minutes at least to finish a bottle with frequent breaks during that time (and a side switch if she usually nurses both sides).

[ashbash]

Agreeing with the paced feeding. Also is your milk slow to let down? Perhaps she got used to/likes the instant milk vs waiting a minute for your milk to let down? If so you can manually start massaging the breast or hand pump to get milk going that way there is no wait for her - just a thought!

[baytosa2013]

I don't have much advice since I wasn't really able to Bf and DD has been on formula since week 1 but I was thinking gulping 5-6 ounces sounds like alot. DD is 14 weeks and she just bumped up to 4oz and we literally this weekend just changed her over to medium flow nipples from slow nipples. For day care, we fill the bottles to what we want her to have and she is always fine with no complaints of her being hungry still. I agree with PP's to try slow flow nipples, paced feedings with lots of burps in between to make the process slower for her.

[carolyngrace]

Interesting... I have DB today after two days of babysitters (so, bottles). Today he kept pulling off my breast and screaming, even though there was clearly milk coming out, and he was clearly hungry. I wonder if it's what everyone is talking about here, like he's pissed because it's not coming fast like a bottle. I just kept re-latching him (seriously like 20+ times) and eventually he seemed to get a full feeding.

[belle0720]

Don't have any advice but I'm sorry the transition with feeding and going back to work isn't going smoothly. I hope things start to get better! I've been wondering how it will be when I go back to work as well, thanks for the info on paced feeding ladies!

[dmoney]

DD has been using a bottle since about 2 weeks. but she is on the slowest nipple possible. Along with pace feeding she doesnt seem to have any issues. Try going to a premie nipple and pace feeding. it will make sure LO has to work for it just like if she was at the breast.

[mrsdee1982]

Thank you guys so much for all the great advice. I will be implementing all of these suggestions. Thank you all again so much!

[amber311]

mrsdee1982 how are things going?

[mrsdee1982]

Things got better Thursday and Friday. Today she fought it again a few times but she also napped for shit today, so I just chalked today up to being overly tired.