Relative Rant

[bibliothecary]

Sept 11, 2015 21:46:33 GMT -5 econmarie said:

Sept 11, 2015 16:24:12 GMT -5 bibliothecary said:

She's been remarkably normal. After the birth, I told her to come over... she went to the hospital. And found out I wasn't there. That was a weird phone call. But other than that, she's been good. Color me shocked. She visits often, but always calls and asks first. Doesn't overstay her welcome. Brings food. It's pretty good.

There must be more of a story here.

She showed up at the local hospital with a pizza, asked to see me, was told I wasn't there and berated the nurse for a bit before calling me to find out that I was, indeed, not at the hospital. I wish it was more dramatic, but she's been surprisingly low key since the birth. It's nothing I ever could have predicted.

[econmarie]

Sept 12, 2015 0:23:38 GMT -5 bibliothecary said:

Sept 11, 2015 21:46:33 GMT -5 econmarie said:

There must be more of a story here.

She showed up at the local hospital with a pizza, asked to see me, was told I wasn't there and berated the nurse for a bit before calling me to find out that I was, indeed, not at the hospital. I wish it was more dramatic, but she's been surprisingly low key since the birth. It's nothing I ever could have predicted.

Did she not know about your home birth? I almost wish I didn't tell my mom that DD was going to be born in a birth center. She went BSC with worry.

[zonagirl]

So my issues aren't really much compared to some. My MIL and I get along fine, but we aren't close. I have a few issues with her, one being that I think she calls MH too much. They talk on the phone a lot and I just find it weird. Last weekend she called him twice in one day within a short period of time. So you would think it was pretty important. He called her back and I could hear their conversation. She was just telling him about her weekend. Never once asked about me or baby. I just feel like a thirty year old man who is married and now has a baby shouldn't be expected to talk to his mom all the time. Maybe I'm being a bitch.

Well here is a ffsc concerning mil- she is super right wing fundamentalist Christian, therefore homophobic. I have gay family members and previously while I never hid that, I would never mention anything about them in front of her just to avoid confrontation. Or more like awkwardness, because she is not confrontation either. Well, my uncle and his husband are coming to visit us next weekend. They are staying with my mom. I needed to give MH a date to tell his mom when she could come visit us (she lives in a different state) and I said she could come any time next week. So she will be here when gay uncles are here. Part of me chose the dates because I wanted her to be the first out of town relative to meet baby, I feel like we owe her that as a grandma and I didn't want her feelings to be hurt to find out my out of state uncle met Ava before she did. But part of me just wanted her to be here at the same time as them because I'm tired of tip toeing around her prejudices.

[bibliothecary]

Sept 12, 2015 6:57:45 GMT -5 econmarie said:

Sept 12, 2015 0:23:38 GMT -5 bibliothecary said:

She showed up at the local hospital with a pizza, asked to see me, was told I wasn't there and berated the nurse for a bit before calling me to find out that I was, indeed, not at the hospital. I wish it was more dramatic, but she's been surprisingly low key since the birth. It's nothing I ever could have predicted.

Did she not know about your home birth? I almost wish I didn't tell my mom that DD was going to be born in a birth center. She went BSC with worry.

My midwives suggested that we not tell anyone, for that exact reason. People worry. And tell you awful stories. Better to just tell them later and hope they take it well.

[bibliothecary]

You've got to be kidding me. You've got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME. My in laws called today and said that we haven't given them enough chances to see G. And that we never call to let them know how he's doing. OH I'M SORRY. I guess that telling you to come over repeatedly and reminding them that I'm on leave for eight weeks, hanging around the house, was not giving you enough of a chance to see G. MAYBE THEY'D LIKE IT IF I'D DRIVE HIM OVER EVERY DAY AND WAIT OUTSIDE SO THEY CAN SEE HIM AT THEIR LEISURE. WOULD THAT WORK?!
FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING FUCKS. I hope you DIAF.

[bibliothecary]

Oh, and apparently, they call alllll the time, but MH's phone must not be registering it. Yep.

[layloo08]

Impeccable timing for the original post. I'm so sorry...
But HOLY SHIT. I hope you or your H told them what the fuck is up..

[bibliothecary]

Sept 12, 2015 20:18:51 GMT -5 layloo08 said:

Impeccable timing for the original post. I'm so sorry...
But HOLY SHIT. I hope you or your H told them what the fuck is up..

H chooses not to rock the boat. I choose to tamp down my rage with invective filed rants and chocolate. They are never in the wrong, not ever. And if you can prove that they are? They remember it differently. There's a reason they don't have my phone number. I would not have the patience MH does when dealing with them.

[amberlie]

MIL keeps asking us to go places. No, we do not want to go to a restaurant with the family when E hates her carseat & would likely scream the entire time, meaning we'd have to stand outside with her. Every time she asks us somewhere, she adds "things will be easier when she takes a bottle." Well... she does take a bottle. But MIL doesn't need to know that.

[motownthrowdown]

Sept 12, 2015 20:57:39 GMT -5 amberlie said:

MIL keeps asking us to go places. No, we do not want to go to a restaurant with the family when E hates her carseat & would likely scream the entire time, meaning we'd have to stand outside with her. Every time she asks us somewhere, she adds "things will be easier when she takes a bottle." Well... she does take a bottle. But MIL doesn't need to know that.

I'm laughing at the last line of that. My mom is convinced I should be giving her formula and got all excited when she saw the little can of reflux formula powder. "I knew your doctor would make you switch to formula. Is so much better." No, mom, I add 1/2 teaspoon of this to milk, which is the best thing for Amelia because she needs antibodies. Even if I ever need to start giving her formula, my mom will be the last to find out.

Also, good job on standing up for what you are comfortable with in terms of taking baby out. Screaming babies are no fun for anyone and if you know that's how she will react, better to just stay home and get take out.

[amberlie]

motownthrowdown A lot of moms who haven't had kids in 20+years just don't seem to get it! Or they think their ways of doing things must be best. I can imagine it's only worse for you as Amelia's situation is different than most. MIL has also told us to use formula so that I can sleep. No thank you. And literally every time either of us has spoken to her in the last few weeks, she brings up the bottle. I just know that when she finds out, she'll try demanding that we let her keep E for an extended period of time. DNW. No.

With my mom, I've felt more comfortable telling her what I want for E bc I can easily explain my reasoning (not that I really need to) and she will get it. MIL would likely think that I'm just making shit up to inconvenience her.

[hurricaine]

Sept 11, 2015 11:14:48 GMT -5 waterqueen said:

My mom still hasn't talked to me about her third break down with DD1. She keeps acting like nothing happened. Wtf woman. I keep having to redirect DD1 when she asks to go spend time with grandma. Breaks my heart every time.

Hugs to everyone else dealing with asshats!

I don't actually like this. I kind of empathize with your daughter because I have a crazy grandmother who has held my relationship with her ransom before. I could write a novel about this, but the main thing is that she'll get through it and even find some good in the situation.

Hugs to you too, dealing with this. 

[ady45]

My MIL is usually wonderful. This weekend was her small town's fall fest. At the baby show, she wanted to show the baby off and she let some random lady I don't know hold him. I was not happy st all about that. So the next day at her company picnic, I put him on his carrier and told her it was because it's too close to cold and flu season and he hasn't had any vaccines (except hep B) and with the recent flare ups of measles and whooping cough I'm not taking chances. I am fine with people (non-family) looking, but not holding him.

My H little sister is 16 and was playing with DD at the company picnic. They were right by our table and while I was changing M's diaper (massive blowout) they both disappeared. I may have over reacted but I was upset. I told her and MIL that if they were leaving the area they were supposed to be in, they needed to let an adult know. Do NOT wander off with my child without telling me. Especially in a place with a bunch of people I don't know.