Kim Cattrall redefines motherhood

[erbear]

I've done a lot for my nieces, but I never considered myself a mother. I had a motherly instinct, sure, but I wasn't a mother.

[baileybaileybne]

I don't really respond well to this. She's all emphatic about it but then kinda says meh she didn't really want it? Maybe I'm reading too much into the quote (and being biased because I'm not a fan of hers) but mentoring adults and giving support on occasion is lovely but pretty different to mothering.

I just don't see why she's so defensive: some people decide not to have kids and that's fine, but it is what it is. I spent a lot of time with my niece growing up but I'd never say to my sister that it equates to her input as her mother.

[alayne926]

I did A LOT for my niece and nephews before I had kids, but I would in no way call myself their mother.

I also had a lot of young staff that I was supervising when I worked for the Y and they would come to me with non work related problems, and I would give them advice, but would not call myself a mother for doing that.

Personally, I think you become a mother when you have a baby, adopt a child, or foster children in your home.

You can be a "mother figure" to children/young adults-heck, teachers do it all the time.

[Widget123]

Being a mentor and an aunt doesn't count as a mother to me unless you have people living in your house that you are responsible for 24/7, even when you are at your worst state.

[periwinkledaydreams]

I think it is pretty ridiculous that she wants to call herself a mother because she did some helpful things for other people's children sometimes, and at one point thought she might want children but then decided that no she didnt? No. Those people's mothers are their mothers. You are their aunt or their mentor or their tutor or their babysitter. Yes, she is very correct that you do not have to physically birth a child in order to become a mother, you can certainly adopt children or foster children, and sometimes this happens less than technically or legally and that person I would say is still a mother. But mentoring is mentoring, tutoring is tutoring, babysitting is babysitting. This is a silly perspective. Gosh Im being judgemental!

[littlemissgrump]

I don't see why it's hurting anyone if she calls herself a mother. I also don't see why she needs a whole article explaining it either.

[periwinkledaydreams]

On a kind of related note, it is a bit sad that she feels it so necessary to defend herself as a woman who has essentially chosen to remain childless, and even the way she describes the word "childless" like is is offensive to her. When I went in and read the article, and then another article about her, her quotes read like someone who is just tired of being asked the same questions over and over, as Im sure she is as a 59 year old single woman. She sounds defensive, like "Well I may not be a mother but Im still capable of being motherly, look at examples x, y and z" as though she's defending her womanhood against questions about her "lack" of children and a husband. I may not agree with the way she laid out her perspective but I also don't agree with the society that doesn't even know what questions to ask a woman if they cant ask her about her husband and children!

[stinybean]

I agree with periwinkledaydreams. She's probably defensive because she's been asked so many times that she feels she needs a good answer.

I don't think that doing things for kids as she described is being a mother. If that was the case I would be the mother of hundreds of my students. Yes at times I've referred to my students as my kids, but I would never be so bold as to call myself their mother, no matter how close I got with them.

[Deleted]

She can call herself a mother if it makes her feel better but it still doesn't make her a mom. I'm thinking of calling myself President of the United States tomorrow. Do you know what that makes me? F Ing crazy

[gigi3126]

I think there's a difference between being a mother and mothering. I don't know the specifics of her relationships but I don't think that mentoring equals mothering. However, I completely understand her issue with constantly being referred to as childless. The term can seem cold, especially given the pressure to reproduce that many women feel.

[Deleted]

I have nothing new to add to the line of "not a mother" thoughts. But this 40 something is seriously offended by the "science experiment" comment. WTF?! I am no more a lab rat than any other woman who has dealt with IF. Just STFU Kim.