REALLY nervous about breastfeeding

[Deleted]

Hi all I'm only 12 weeks pregnant, but I'm trying to do as much research as possible before baby arrives.
I had my first (and only so far) child 12 years ago, I was only 21 and NOT confident enough to trust the breastfeeding process. I let the nurses talk me into supplementing with a bottle, and I gave up too easily.
Was it harder than you imagined? Easier? Fulfilling?
Any tips for a newbie would be appreciated

[ashanne88]

For me, it was harder in the beginning than I imagined (to be completely honest). DS had some latching problems but we were able to work on it with the Lactation Consultant for the first few weeks and were able to get on track. DS is 7.5 months and I don't see us stopping any time soon. The LC was amazing and I honestly don't know what would have happened without her. I would research LCs in your area and find out what your hospital provides so that you know what your resources are. Find out if you have a breastfeeding support group as well. Talking to other moms helped me feel less alone and encouraged me to keep trying.

As hard as it was sometimes, I find it incredibly rewarding for both myself and DS and I'm so glad I didn't give up. One thing that really helped me was to set short goals for myself - 1 month, 3 months, 6 months, etc. Good luck!

[theresat858]

We faced some struggles with my first due to her jaundice - she needed formula at 24 hours old, and refused a tube at the breast so a bottle was introduced very early. I mostly EPed for the first 2 weeks, but we were able to get back to breastfeeding with the help of a good lactation consultant (and the constant advice and help of this message board back on TB). It was hard but I was determined. It was a lot easier with my second, although I still introduced a bottle early (8 days) for slow weight gain.

[ellabee]

I agree, it was harder than I thought it would be for those first couple of weeks. I was not prepared for how difficult it would be to get a good latch and how long it would take for my nipples and breasts to adjust. The LCs at the hospital mentioned having some small initial "discomfort", but also said "if it hurts you're doing it wrong".

I wish someone would have been upfront with me and said yeah it sucks and can be painful, but it does get infinitely better, it just takes like 5-6 weeks.

That all being said, it is so much more fulfilling and rewarding than I ever thought it could be. DD is now 10 months and we have a wonderful nursing relationship.

I second pp's suggestion to see a LC in the first week or so. I saw one and it really helped put my mind at ease that I was doing absolutely all I could to try to succeed. They also usually offer telephone support after the initial consultation, which I found helpful.

Good luck!

[noname]

I think reading up on it in advance is what helped me the most. When challenges popped up (oversupply, food intolerances) I already knew what was happening and how to address the problems. Definitely take advantage of a LC as pp's have suggested. Our hospital had a hotline with LCs on hand you could call whenever with questions. But I will say that I mostly relied on TB. I learned so much from some wonderful ladies on the breastfeeding board and definitely don't think we would have made it to 16 months without their expertise and advice.

[iloverunning]

With my first, the first month was much harder than I anticipated and I almost gave up. With my second things were relatively smooth sailing. My biggest pieces of advice are to find a friend IRL who can support and encourage you, keep reading the BFing board here and/or join a real-life support group and get the number of a Lactation Consultant to have on hand once you bring baby home.

[melody330]

First, congrats on #2!

DS is my first, and I do not have any friends that BF for longer than a few weeks. Everyone told me horror stories,, and kept telling me I didn't need to BF before I even had an him!

I was determined, and politely told my friends that I don't want to hear anymore negative, and it was important to me to make it work. I surrounded myself with knowledge and had my support system read up on breast feeding also. That helped tremendously.

We are so lucky, we did not have any significant problems. LO lost about 12% of his weight before my milk came in, and I got mastitis around 6 weeks PP. Other than that it was smooth sailing. DS is just over a year and we don't plan on ending our nursing sessions anytime soon.


Good luck!

[anotherdreamer]

With my DS I had a hard time and stopped at 3m due to low supply and latch issues. I did a lot to increase my supply, but there are also a lot of things I would have done differently.

With my twins, it has been so much easier in comparison. I went into things better educated, more comfortable with NIP and on demand, I knew more about cluster feeding, and I was more determined. I had some latch issues with DD1 and issues with my overactive letdown, things were harder the first three months but afterward it went a lot smoother! We all sort of figured out our cues and needs, and we made it work. It has been a much better experience for me.

[peach]

I've been really fortunate in that DD and I have had a really smooth nursing relationship. I did get some blisters and there are times when I feel like there's no way I can stand the pain of her going back to my boob after a session with a bad latch, but those times haven't lasted long. We also had a gas problem but after I've cut out (almost all) dairy, it's been better. I was mentally prepared for suffering with bleeding cracked nipples for a few months, but luckily it's not something I've faced. Like others have said, talk to a LC as soon as you can. I had a blister after our first day together and the LC at the hospital gave me invaluable advice. I'm also going to a breastfeeding support group every week which helps give me more knowledge and confidence. It also is helping me to prepare for nursing in public.
Being able to nurse has been really rewarding for me. It's when I feel the most connected to LO (even when I'm incredibly tired and frustrated).
I hope it goes well for you this round!

[Libby]

I echo that it was so much harder in the beginning than I thought. My dd could not latch, even after seeing 4 different LC's in the hospital. We were finally given a shield to use. I didn't know about cluster feeding or weight loss in the beginning. I should have done more research! We are still on the shield and I'm still waiting for nursing to get better (10 weeks today) but with that being said I am so proud to provide all of the nutrients she needs to thrive. It's amazing to see little rolls appearing on her thighs and think, my boobs did that! It also brings piece of mind during flu season.
On the other hand, I'm still not comfortable with NIP and still feel somewhat trapped. Also, using the shield I get clogged ducts a couple times a week and that is pure hell.
Just when I think I can't do it anymore, something gets better or she twirls my hair while looking up at me lovingly. We have a very close bond and I thank nursing for a lot of that.
Best of luck to you!

[whitney4126]

The first 6 weeks were hell due to a tongue tie and latch issues. But, I had armed myself with resources. I had read about breastfeeding, and took a breastfeeding class, but while I think those helped, they didn't prepare me for the anatomical issues the baby had. The best thing I did was I already had the information for a lactation consultant to call and I asked to see the hospital LC early and often. Then, I had a private LC at my house 3 days after I got out of the hospital. I wouldn't have made it without her. So, my biggest piece if advice is don't be afraid to ask for help if you have troubles and advocate for yourself, the earlier the better.

So yes, the beginning was harder than I imagined. But part of that was because I am a FTM and the whole "the baby will wake and eat every 2-3 hours" was a really fun concept to think about it until the reality of it smacked me in the face. So the fact that you're not a FTM and know of what to expect from a newborn is a plus in my opinion.

But now it is easier than I ever thought it could be and I love not having to prepare bottles to leave the house. And it is incredibly fulfilling to me. It wasn't in the beginning. All I felt was pain and my newborn was so sleepy that she never seemed to make eye contact with me. It didn't feel like a "bonding experience" for me during the whole first month. But then it changed and it's really hard to put into words how this relationship has impacted me. It really is one of the most special things I've ever done.

Good luck!

[babycaps]

I'm mobile and have so much I want to share with you! So I will do it tomorrow from my computer:)

[emmyg65]

My son is almost four weeks old. Breastfeeding has been harder than I imagined, but I've had a lot of support from my husband and mom and lactation consultants. I have found it fulfilling and even now easier than pumping or using formula. I'm looking forward to when it gets even easier. My biggest advice is to be prepared to have to get the hang of it and to get good professional help right away.

[babycaps]

elizabethnevadap
I went into motherhood seriously thinking BFing was going to be no big deal. I work in the NICU and have helped SO MANY moms put baby to breast. They all said it hurt a little bit, many decided to just pump and never really talked about how hard or exhausting pumping can be and our LCs tended to only talk about the benefits of milk but not how hard you work at first to get all the benefits: nutrition, bonding, PP weight loss, and more. I really thought it was going to be so easy I skipped going to a BF class and that is my first regret!

When LO was born, he latched right away. I didn't realize his latch was all wrong and within 8hrs it was SO PAINFUL and he was leaving ridges on my nipples that in the long term could have left them completely permanently damaged. I finally asked for an LC at 8hrs of life (having had refused one at first bc I thought his latch was great) and from then on it took a lot of work and courage to keep going. I ended up having to pump for the first 3 weeks, putting Miles to breast only once-twice/day and working to correct his incredibly tight and strong latch. He had a tight upper frenulum and tended to keep his tongue inside his mouth rather than protruding it out. I ended up using a shield each time I nursed and then pumping and supplementing with a bottle until he was 9 days old. I met with several LCs over that time and each was more encouraging. My biggest cheerleader was my husband. He was right there with Miles and I for each attempt. He would help me bring M's lips out as he constantly curled them in instead of doing the "special K/fish lips" he was supposed to be doing. Finally, after 3-3.5 weeks of pain, constant fixing of the lips, some exercises with his lips and tongue he finally got the hang of a latch.
At that 9 day LC visit, I also realized that the nipple shield was hindering M's ability to get milk. I did a weighed feeding: For 15min latch w/ good sucking he got 15ml (0.5oz). The LC convinced me to take the shield off and try nursing for TWO MINUTES and said if the pain did not subside I could stop. I winced and 45 seconds into it the pain was MUCH BETTER and 15min later M was in a milk coma, milk falling out of his mouth, and when we weighed him, he had taken 70ml (a bit over 2oz)!!!! That was a HUGE triumph and was also the day I ditched the nipple shield. For the next days I still supplemented with the bottle but I did one less bottle a day in favor of one more nursing session a day until at 3 weeks (or so) we were exclusively breastfeeding.
From the 5th week on it was a breeze! It didn't really hurt anymore, we got on a groove of feeding every 3hrs plus cluster feeding at night.
The 6 week growth spurt was NO JOKE. I'm SO happy to have had the support of this board and my BMB board to get me through it. We did it w/o any bottles and it was the first week I didn't pump any milk. It all went to him. He started sleeping 5+hrs at night and by 7 weeks I was comfortable NIP.

I have to say breastfeeding was a HUGE full time job those first weeks.

Arm yourself well by going to a class, talking to your SO about how important this is for you and that you will need his support.
Trust that your body WILL make enough milk for your LO. It's OK for babies to have up to 12% weight loss in the first week. As long as they are GAINING weight back, it doesn't matter. Don't let anyone talk you into formula if your LO has a good latch and is eating every 2hrs. It's NOT unreasonable for a newborn to feed every 90minutes at first! Their stomach is LITERALLY the size of a marble!

My son is just shy of 11months. We are still nursing although NIP is impossible bc he gets SO distracted. But I still nurse him on airplanes (we travel quite a bit).
I'm back to work so I pump during the day but still nursing him 2x/day and he LOVES IT. He already has 9 teeth with his 2nd bottom molar coming in and it has not really affected nursing.

We have a bond unlike any other. I'm especially thankful to be a nursing mom bc it's something that not a single other person can do for him. Since I'm at work for 9hrs/day and only see my son for 2-3hrs/day during the week, nursing is what helps our bond so strong.

Lastly, keep in mind you have to do what you feel is right for you and your family. It very well may be that you decide to formula feed. Don't EVER feel guilty for any decisions you make for you and your family Don't let people shame you for NIP, or for formula feeding or for choosing to pump instead of feeding...these are all your choices to make

Sorry for the novel!

[bantyrooster]

I had some struggles, but overall with the help of this board not many. I bf ds for 19 months and now have a 5 week old. There are lots of bumps that can happen but come here and just ask! Also I think the world is more bf friendly than it was 12 years ago. I was never pressured to give bottles in the hospital.

Just know it does take work and its okay to kick out visitors and just nurse the baby. Congrats!!

[babycaps]

yes!!! What bantyrooster said: kick out visitors if they are getting in the way! I felt like my mom was staring at me while I tried to BF and at one point I just asked her to please go get me some coffee and to please take the very long way so that I could have 20-30min of ALONE time with LO!
You may feel like a bitch, but you can blame it all on hormones

[casey]

I'm going to share a bit different experience than many.

I read, lurked here a bit, took a BF class, and chose a pedi with a staff LC. So I had a good academic sense of what BF would be like, and I had good supports. BF was demanding, but it turned out to be a lot easier and less painful than I expected. My LO lost 7% by day 2 and was steady at 7% by day 5. She bounced up a pound in the next 9 days. I never felt my milk come in, although my boobs got BIG. I had some latch pain that in-hospital LC helped fix. I had initial latch pain that made me curl my toes for a couple months, but it faded out. LO slept well for the first 4 months of her life. She fed often and marathoned in evenings, but her needs seemed manageable. Weight gain stayed good. LO got more and more efficient with them. I responded well to pump and met her needs without too much strain or stress.

The hardest part for me was the emotional component of knowing it was all on me. This wasn't a task I could share with DH. I didn't get a break. But, I'm so so glad we were able to do this.

I hesitate to share a smooth journey sometimes, because I don't want it to sound flip or braggy. I did some work that helped make that happen AND just got lucky. BUT, I think it's important to recognize the positives too.

[octavia65]

It sounds like you are determined which is a great way to go into breastfeeding! I think the hardest part for me was not knowing how much my son was getting. I had to really let go and trust his wet diapers and his weight gain. There were times when I just wanted to be able to measure things and know for sure that he was getting the recommended amount of milk each day. Especially when he was more fussy than usual or when he went through the 4MW. I can't tell you how many people tried to get me to give him rice cereal because they thought he was hungry. That was a mind fuck for sure. It's definitely a lot of pressure to produce (pun intended I guess)! But it was a good lesson for me as a Type A person...you have to trust your gut and not rely on absolutes. We got through it and he thrived and is still thriving. I'm sure you will guys will do great! Good luck.

[Deleted]

Oh my, JUST checked back on this post today- what great information! I will be referring back to these comments, nothing like real experiences from the pros.
Thank you!

[Unknown]

It was way better than I expected. I started off saying I'll just try it to save some $ since we picked a more expensive daycare. I ended up EBF (aside from solids after 6m) for a year and it was the best thing ever. We had our struggles, but this group and a LC really helped keep me on track and work through everything. Like a pp mentioned kellymom is a great resource as well!

[things]

I didn't go in to breastfeeding with any preconceived ideas with my first baby. I knew I wanted to breastfeed, and I had the support, so I did. We had major latch difficulties for the first few days that I was able to work out after about a week or so. Once her latch was right it was smooth sailing. She was EBF until 5ish months, and nursed until 16 months.

Breastfeeding was easy peasy from the start with my second daughter, at least in terms of latch and supply. I did, however, deal with persistent thrush for 10 weeks. Once it cleared all was great. She, too, nursed until 16 months.

Now, having been a veteran nurser for many months I was expecting a smoother process with my second son. Yeah... not quite. We had major difficulties from the start, all caused by his class 2, class 4 and labial lip tie. He lost a bunch of weight, was declared FTT at 3 weeks, and I had to resort to EPing at that point (was doing a combo of nursing and pumping before). He was unable to transfer milk sufficiently, and that led to low supply. However, I did have success with pumping and building a supply once I began taking galactagogues to increase my supply. All of his "ties" were clipped by 6 weeks, but I had to continue pumping until 5.5 months due to issues with his uncoordinated suck. He was able to return to the breast at that point. From 6 weeks to 5.5 months I pumped day feedings/bottles and nursed him at/throughout the night. I had a love/hate relationship with the pump. I liked the convenience of it, and seeing how much milk I could make (35-52 oz), but I had a lot of struggles with my right side due to its dysfunctional letdown. It takes forever to letdown, which makes both nursing and pumping impossible or painful and exhausting. So, I really, really hated pumping that side for that reason.

Even through all these struggles, pain and tears, he made it to 21 months.

And this time, with my 9 week old, we had supply issues from the beginning due to PPH-induced anemia, which causes low prolactin levles and subsequently low supply. That coupled with the letdown issues of my right side means a even more reduced supply. She lost over a pound in the first 9 days. So I began supplementing with donor milk and formula at 11 days, and pumped here and there. Her latch was perfect. I just needed to work on building a fully supply. We're 9 weeks out and all is going well, but I'm still supplementing with formula. I just ordered Domperidone with the hopes that it will increase my supply in my left side so I can reduce how much I have to supplement. She only nurses from my right side maybe once every few days when it becomes uncomfortable and the milk basically pours out. Otherwise, she won't take it. I imagine that side will dry up within the next month or so.

So here's to hoping the Dom will work. If not then I will continue nursing and supplementing until she's on solids on a regular basis, so 8+ months. Hoping she'll be the one to make it to 2 years.

Good luck. With the right support, information and knowledge you can have a successful breastfeeding relationship.