Who have you told??

[Ruca]

Who have you spilled the beans to or when do you plan on spilling?? We were planning on waiting until after the first tri to tell anybody but now I'm having second thoughts.... I want my mommy lol!!! 

[iwantbacon]

Not planning on telling anyone (excluding OB and MH, of course) until after 1st tri.

[emc]

We told our parents and siblings. Everyone else can wait until after the first trimester.

[starfishy]

I didn't want to tell my mom bc she would just be worried, but I took a trip to the ER and she found out. So she knows. And one of my friends at school knows. She's the social worker, we're good friends and she talked me down from the ledge more than once.
Another friend that is going through infertility knows too. We've been sharing our struggles and I wanted her to be one of the first ones to know.

[CattyNattyRN]

We've told parents and sibs so far.. But we're planning on telling everyone soon. And I work in healthcare, so it's really safer to tell work asap that I'm pregnant. Soooo we'll be fully out soon!

[Deleted]

Well, my roommate figured it out when he ordered pizza and I had to puke. But he knows about my history and I wasn't attempting to hide it. And my sister found out last night when I freaked out about the lab results since the email came in when I was with her. I tried to be vague, but she kept asking. She also knows that we've had a few losses (she doesn't know about most of them), so I doubt she'll tell anyone. But I also don't really care if she does.

Plus all my internet friends from TTGP days that are no longer around here because squee. But yeah. The only people I'm actively not telling are the kids that come over to hang out here.

[byefelicia]

So far we (by we I mean I) have told my mom and my sisters. Everyone else we will probably tell after the first ultrasound.

[cbowl]

Our parents and 3 of my girlfriends. Two of them we were having a girls night and I just can't fake the not drinking and my other one because she has been so there for me through my past loss and I just wanted to let her know. Holding off on everyone else for some time.

[Sammich_Cat]

For my work I'm waiting until 12 weeks or as long as I can hide my bump.
I may tell my family at ~10 weeks when everyone calls for my birthday.

[teraiin]

My in-laws (mother and father in-laws, and siblings), my dad and brother, TCF.

Everyone else will need to wait. MH pretty much wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He doesn't really get the idea of not sharing too soon. Mostly I just don't want to have to un-tell too many people if things don't go well...

[nerdykitten]

My husband and I were very open about going through IVF, just like we were with his cancer, so a lot of people knew I was going through the egg retrieval process and therefore we have told more people than we would have otherwise. We have told his mom, my parents, my best friend, one of his best friends since we are visiting him this weekend and I didn't want drinks being pushed on me, and two of our mutual friends.

[graysweater]

All parents and siblings know and my grandparents. Most of our good friends know. I am pretty sure that most people my H works with know too. I have only told 2 people at work. I am waiting to tell my boss next week after my first appointment and then will let it leak after that. I think we will also do a big FB announcement next week.

[Deleted]

I've told two work friends that are TTC because parents and family will find out after first u/s. Public around Halloween.

[mrssqueegy]

Parents and siblings. A few close gfs. My Pilates instructor and acupuncturist.

[aprilz81]

I told my sister this morning (so BIL knows as well now) and my parents. We plan on telling DH's parents soon along with a married couple who we are really close friends with.

With my low progesterone test results I'm going to leave it up to DH when/if we tell his parents. I want them to know but I also don't want them to worry when there is nothing they can do.

[aprilz81]

Sept 16, 2015 14:13:25 GMT -5 teraiin said:

My in-laws (mother and father in-laws, and siblings), my dad and brother, TCF.

Everyone else will need to wait. MH pretty much wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He doesn't really get the idea of not sharing too soon. Mostly I just don't want to have to un-tell too many people if things don't go well...

I'm in the same boat.  I don't want it to be a secret and while part of me wants to tell the whole world I don't want to worry about "un-telling" people, especially people who I don't see/speak with on a regular basis and only talk to via Facebook.

[walkek85]

Both sets of parents know and one set of sibling. We will tell my siblings Oct 11th at our annual family apple orchard/pumpkin patch trip. Also, all of our close friends know. We will reveal to FB sometime around Halloween.

[k3am]

One friend, my old work wife, and my running partner know. I'm much closer to my friend and work wife, but my running partner caught on pretty fast to the fact that my pace fell off the charts and I can barely hold a conversation while I run. More people will find out after next week's appointment.

[tincupchalice]

My parents know, my BFF knows. Told my hiking buddies today. My HS BFF will know in two weeks. Will tell more after my first appointment in October.

[Aaemommy]

I did go ahead and tell my boss in case anything were to happen while I was at work so she would know what was going on. I had some pretty bad cramping right about 4 weeks and another episode where I actually passed out at 5 weeks, so I felt it was necessary in case something like that happened at work. But nobody else knows. We won't tell until after my first OB appointment on October 9th. I'll be about 10-11 weeks at that point.

[fishbulb]

More people than I would like know, mostly because MH can't keep his mouth shut. We've told our parents, a handful of friends, my boss, and his boss. After our first prenatal appointment at 8 weeks we'll probably start telling people IRL and go Facebook official around week 12.

A question for the loss moms: my BIL's wife has one 9 year old son and has had 7 or 8 miscarriages since then. She's devastated that she can't seem to carry another pregnancy. We're not super close but I want to give her a heads up before we go Facebook official or MIL spills the beans so that she isn't blindsided. How would you do it?

[mrssqueegy]

Sept 16, 2015 21:33:37 GMT -5 fishbulb said:

More people than I would like know, mostly because MH can't keep his mouth shut. We've told our parents, a handful of friends, my boss, and his boss. After our first prenatal appointment at 8 weeks we'll probably start telling people IRL and go Facebook official around week 12.

A question for the loss moms: my BIL's wife has one 9 year old son and has had 7 or 8 miscarriages since then. She's devastated that she can't seem to carry another pregnancy. We're not super close but I want to give her a heads up before we go Facebook official or MIL spills the beans so that she isn't blindsided. How would you do it?

I always prefer email.  Then I can be sad and upset in private and don't have to put on a brave face in front of the person.

[Sammich_Cat]

Sept 16, 2015 21:50:23 GMT -5 mrssqueegy said:

Sept 16, 2015 21:33:37 GMT -5 fishbulb said:

More people than I would like know, mostly because MH can't keep his mouth shut. We've told our parents, a handful of friends, my boss, and his boss. After our first prenatal appointment at 8 weeks we'll probably start telling people IRL and go Facebook official around week 12.

A question for the loss moms: my BIL's wife has one 9 year old son and has had 7 or 8 miscarriages since then. She's devastated that she can't seem to carry another pregnancy. We're not super close but I want to give her a heads up before we go Facebook official or MIL spills the beans so that she isn't blindsided. How would you do it?

I always prefer email.  Then I can be sad and upset in private and don't have to put on a brave face in front of the person.

That's what GKU as a whole agreed as well, I think. I think text would be appropriate too? Maybe in the evening when she is not out with people and not at work so she can cry if she wants to.
Phone call isn't as good either since she may feel she can't show she's sad with her voice.

[babycaps]

I've told a lot of people. Some people at work, many friends and my immediate family. I don't hide it and these people knew we were trying.
Like for a large group of friends over brunch, it was obvious I was expecting when I didn't order my usual bottomless mimosa!

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2015 21:50:23 GMT -5 mrssqueegy said:

Sept 16, 2015 21:33:37 GMT -5 fishbulb said:

More people than I would like know, mostly because MH can't keep his mouth shut. We've told our parents, a handful of friends, my boss, and his boss. After our first prenatal appointment at 8 weeks we'll probably start telling people IRL and go Facebook official around week 12.

A question for the loss moms: my BIL's wife has one 9 year old son and has had 7 or 8 miscarriages since then. She's devastated that she can't seem to carry another pregnancy. We're not super close but I want to give her a heads up before we go Facebook official or MIL spills the beans so that she isn't blindsided. How would you do it?

I always prefer email.  Then I can be sad and upset in private and don't have to put on a brave face in front of the person.

+1

And keep it simple, don't include a cute picture or anything announcement like. And don't get offended if it takes her a few weeks to respond and keeps her distance for a while.

[fishbulb]

Thanks ladies! I like the text/email idea. I know she needs time to have her reaction so I would hate to tell her over the phone. Eventually she'll be happy to have another baby in the family - she warmed up to DS quickly - but it will take her some time.

[mrsw062610]

Right now DH, his mom and stepdad, DH's aunt, and my best friend know.
Planning to tell my parents in the next week or so. We would want the support of these people if anything happened, anyway.
DH might have to tell his boss soon bc it will look suspicious if he suddenly has a bunch of doctor appointments.

We will tell close friends and the rest of the family probably after our 10 week appointment. And then announce on FB and to everyone else after 1st tri.

[polkadots15]

Other than my obgyn, I've told two close friends and that is it! We will keep things on the down low until our first prenatal appointment at 7 weeks.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2015 22:15:33 GMT -5 fishbulb said:

Thanks ladies! I like the text/email idea. I know she needs time to have her reaction so I would hate to tell her over the phone. Eventually she'll be happy to have another baby in the family - she warmed up to DS quickly - but it will take her some time.

If you can figure out her schedule, or you know her well enough, try to time the text/email so she's not at work or out with people when she gets it. It may not be possible to time it, but if you can, I would really suggest it.

[shadesofgold]

Right now only 2 friends know because we were TTC at the same time. We are waiting until after our first appt next week to tell parents, siblings, and VIP friends, which will be 7-8 weeks. I am having pretty strong feelings about not keeping it a secret from these people because they know about our miscarriage earlier this year and I'd tell them if we had another. We never got to celebrate our first pregnancy with anyone which is hitting me pretty hard at the moment since my SIL just announced her pregnancy at 12 weeks and everyone is feting her for having the first grandchild. But anyway, we won't tell work, extended family, other friends or facebook world until after the first tri. But I already know what I want to do for an announcement picture so I'm ready to get that show on the road!