Parenting Check-in (September 21st)

[kh826]

Good Morning Parents!

Here is our roster for this check-in:

Parenting
healz413
Manada
kevinandjesse
foodislove
megd893
calsurb
andstilltrying
jazibel
kh826
karlamo
jgy
sherminator
mahler5
wittyandwaiting
kona
strings
mrsnorris
2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)
jennicole
amberreva

*If you would like to be added to the list, just let us know!

Also, if the group thinks it would be helpful to add a name/initial and/or birthdate for children to the roster, just let me know. I would be happy to add that.

So, tell us about your parenting experiences this past week? Any new milestones? Anything exciting in your house?

QOTW: Share with us something that has surprised you about parenting so far!

[2brides]

Good week overall. Still on an awesome homework streak (no whining, doing it neatly and well.) Trying to narrow down the Halloween costume choices (one kid is Neymar and the other undecided.) Still trying to figure out why during the week, I need a crane to get them out of bed at 6;20 and yet Saturday they were both up (willingly and unprompted by 6:01am.) Sheesh.

I was/am surprised by:

How much sleep deprivation messes with you. OMG.
How much breastfeeding can kill your libido.
How you lose your modesty for those first few weeks.
How parenting styles can really make/break a friendship
How much I sound like my parents and repeat the same phrases they used on me
How much I dread the $ex talk. I used to do it in college (talk to the freshman classes re: $ex)
How sad I get when I think about them going off to college. 9 years. Um. They have lived at home 1/2 of the time they are going to live with us!
How I can't remember our lives without them (and we were together 6y before they were born!)
How much I love older kids. I always thought I was a baby/toddler person - but I adore this age.

[kh826]

William is 15 months.

We had a good weekend overall, as well.
Busy weekend, but good.

We are starting to enter a time/phase where it is more challenging to redirect this kiddo. I find myself repeating things A LOT! We are both trying to be patient and remember that he is still very young, while also working to discourage negative/dangerous behavior and celebrate good choices. It is hard, and honestly, I think it is just going to take time for him to fully "get it," but it is as much for us as parents right now to keep reinforcing the right things, as it is for him. We are learning too!

He is very curious about everything, and he pays attention to the smallest details, which continues to surprise me. He also has started asking us the same questions a million times in a row. I can't decide if I think he is trying to make sure that we are sure, if he just doesn't remember what we told him 30 seconds ago, or if he doesn't believe us! HAHA... maybe a mixture...
Yesterday J went upstairs to put away laundry and change crib sheets, and William kept asking "Mommy bye bye?" I kept saying "No, Mommy didn't leave, she just went upstairs. She will be back down in a minute." He would say "ooooh, OK!" and then about 30 seconds later "Mommy bye bye?" ... He must have asked about 25 times in the 10 minutes that she was upstairs. When she came back down though, he looked at her and said "Hi" and then carried on with what he was playing with. No big deal. It is was too funny. At the grocery store yesterday, he was commenting on all the food that I put in the cart. He always wants to eat everything right then and there, and I have to explain to him that we are buying it to take home, and that he can have some later. The entire time we were in the grocery store yesterday he was saying grapes, doing the sign for eat and saying "mmmm" and I would tell him "we can have some grapes when we get home, OK buddy?" And he would reply "Oh, ok!" HAHA... then a minute later "grapes" sign the word eat and "mmmm" and I would respond, "yes, grapes are yummy. We will have some when we get home." ... "oh, ok!" ... you get the point! It is so funny to me why everything is repeated a zillion times. I guess that's why he doesn't mind hearing the same book read a thousand times a day. I have decided that this is all just an illustration of how toddlers crave consistency through repetition. They need to be sure about things - it is a comfort! That is what I am telling myself...

Oh, and this little monkey has somehow (I cannot figure out how!) managed to open the baby gate in the family room twice! J insists that it wasn't closed all the way since he was able to open it, but I am always super careful when I close it, and I am just not convinced that is the issue. We shall see if it happens again... I am telling you, this kiddo is a trickster!

QOTW: I totally agree with everything 2brides said about the postpartum and newborn stuff. Especially about lack of privacy and modesty. I am continually surprised that I did not totally lose my mind about all of that in the early days. It is baffling that it didn't bother me 1/2 as much as I would have expected it too!

I have also been surprised by the sheer amount of love that I feel for my child. It is hard to put into words. I knew that I would love my kids, and I had heard over and over again that it is a different kind of love and that it is overwhelming, but I was not prepared for the intensity. I am a very emotional person, and I typically feel things very strongly anyway... however, my love for William is so overwhelming it is totally nuts. I would do anything for that child. I want to brag about him to anyone and everyone 24/7. I am obsessed with how beautiful, smart, funny and loving he is. I literally can't stop talking about it. I NEVER thought that I would be that parent. But I am, and I totally don't care if it irritates other people. I never knew how much I wanted to be a parent until I became one. How much I thought I wanted it was NOTHING compared to the real deal.

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

We had a GREAT weekend. yesterday was our 2 yr anniversary. We also took R to my hometown's parade. It was definitely more low key than the LI pridefest which was his first parade, but he paid more attention to it @ 6 mo old than he did at 3 mo old! He loved the firetrucks and the band but not so much the fire HORNS at the end. LOL. no tears though!

He is such a ham and loves bouncing and dancing so we danced in the streets and walked around looking at the harbor and the grass and the rides, etc. I really think he enjoyed it. This is the fun part of parenting!!

Otherwise, no real "milestones" -- hoping for real crawling any day....

QOTW- i am surprised at how little attention R has now and how much he needs LOL. I'm still surprised and working on how hard it is to find a schedule so that M & I can have some "me" and "us" time and give R all his time. #hardwork

[karlamo]

kh826, I know you're looking into double strollers so I thought I'd share we bought one today. I know, I know, I was adamant that we wouldn't need/want one, well I'm eating humble pie cause with 2U2, you definitely need one. My wife did all the research and we test drove 2 at the store, City Select and Britax Ready. We didn't want a side by side cause awkward as hell so we only looked at tandem ones. We bought the city select.

I love it. It's pricey at $500 for the stroller, then $130 for the second seat plus another $20 for the car seat adapter but it is well worth it. I like that each kid gets a view where the Britax Ready double, one kid got stuck on bottom looking at the back of the other seat. That doesn't seem very stimulating or fun to me. The City Select has about 19 different seat configurations plus you can buy a standing board for when R is ready to stand. It's light weight and easy to maneuver.

ETA: the caisher messed up and allowed us to use the 20% cupoun for it so we only paid $613 total. We bought it at Buy Buy BAby and they do price match too.

[kh826]

karlamo - the city select is the stroller that I want! J is obsessed with the Uppababy Vista. I can't justify the cost of the Vista double, but J is really hard to talk down when she gets her heart set on something. We also went to a boutique store that had the select and the vista in store so we could see and "test drive" them. Even the sales person agreed the select was better for our needs, and J left wanting the vista even more! Ugh!

Thanks for all the info! Keep me posted on how you all like it after you have had it for a bit. We probably won't be buying anything for a few more months.

[mahler5]

Speaking of strollers, C hates her right now. She doesn't want to go on walks. I don't do much else with it now as she rides in the cart at store and I seem to carry her a lot. I hope she gets over it soon. My poor dog has not gotten his usual long walks lately!

This is C's last week of daycare! I'm excited and a little sad at same time. She has yet another cold though. I'm really hoping the colds subside after daycare ends.

C is so busy! It is getting harder to go to restaurants right now. She's great while she eats but the moment she is done eating she wants down to run around!

She keeps surprising me with new words. And she has started calling me Mommy S****. Like she does with L. It's sort of cute but I just want her to call me mommy

She is also saying more 2 and occasional 3 word sentences. And she is using her vocabulary in new ways. For example we were outside in yard and she pointed at some dog poop and said "icky".

QOTW- definitely the lack of sleep at first and how hard the first few weeks were for us. Especially me with post-partem too. Also how much I love her and how I continue to love her more. It's crazy how much we love her.

[jazibel]

karlamo, kh826, - We have the city select and after extensive research and test driving thought it was the best most economical (despite the hefty price tag) stroller for us. I went with a black frame and silver chairs. Though I love the "look" I wouldn't do it again. The silver gets/looks dirty quickly especially with dusty shoes. And the black shows marks where it has been scratched. I think the silver frame would hold up better and not show scratches. Otherwise love the ability to configure the seats, the big basket and the fact that sidewalks and doorways are relatively easy. That said I took a single jogging stroller for a spin recently and loved how easy it was to push.

2brides, - I could pretty much copy your list.

I think I would add in that I didn't expect to "not like" things about parenting. And to be honest there are things about this "gig" that I could do without. Like constantly grappling with finding, securing, monitoring childcare. I am not looking forward to that for the next many years.
I also thought I was a "big kid" person, and would be more excited to have a 5 or 7 year old to a 6 month old. But I love babies, and I adore 1 year olds - so cute, curious and expressive - but still "easy".
I didn't realize that inside of me lived a crazy, irrational "mama bear" who will protect her "cubs" at all costs. For example the hotel we're staying at has a glass railed balcony on the 9th floor. Logic tells me that since I've removed the balcony furniture that it should be safe. But seeing my 3 year old out there today I nearly had a heart attack and had to lock the balcony door.


Kaden is 3 years old and Owen is 16 months old. Kaden is becoming a better listener, and he is learning about boundaries and consequences. Not that he doesn't push both, but I finally feel like our hard work and consistency is seeing results. Seriously I didn't think we'd make it. Owen is finally loving the water, pool, ocean he is having a blast exploring, learning to blow bubbles and hold his breath when he falls in by mistake.

Our house is packed and we're geared to move next week. Rather than sit home, the boys and I tagged along on a work trip with my wife to La Jolla, San Diego, CA. We're staying in a hotel within walking distance to the beach, so the kiddo's will definitely get their share of beach time.

[kona]

**following the stroller discussion as we look forward to TTC #2

O's sleeping saga continues. She has ended up back in our bed again for the past week after being out for months. DW gets more sleep that way. I'm at a complete loss. So we are in survival mode with that. She's such an awesome kid but this one thing trips us up and it affects so many other aspects of our life. DW and I rarely have a minute together alone since she won't sleep.

On other more positive things, O is liking her jogging stroller better now. I give her a snack (cereal which is a treat for her) and music on an old phone stuck in the side pocket. She will tolerate about 45 minutes max now. With the cooler temps we have been out much more running which helps my sanity. I also found a great ASL app and am learning more signs that I hope to teach her. She knows about 10 signs already and is using her voice more but I feel like it gives me a purpose with her. I also think it's fascinating to watch her learn things.

QOTW: I agree with jazibel on the difficulty finding quality care for kiddos. We have a nanny but I just realized that she is only with O for 12 hours a week. And that is the only time she is not in the care of DW or me. It's awesome but it's also exhausting. I was not prepared for the possibility of the birth that we had (3 day induction) and the complication of DW's shoulder not working for nearly 6 months after that due to a nerve injury during birth (due to 3 hours of pushing). I am surprised by my love for her and how a random hug or kiss from O can make my heart melt.

[karlamo]

jazibel, that's exactly what the sales rep said about the colors. We went with silver frame and black seats.

[shemarie82]

We had a visit with the boys social worker last night for the first time since they were placed with us. She seems happy with the placement and appreciated how much attachment there is already. The boys are familiar with her since they see her regularly, but they really had little to do with her. It made me nervous at first, but it was a good thing that they don't prefer her to being with us.

Our SIL had a Meet & Greet (informal shower) for us on Sunday, we ended up with a mountain of diapers, it is glorious! We had a picture from a couple weekends ago when we were at the orchard of the 4 of us, I had thank you notes printed with that picture. Also, we attempted and mostly succeeded with our first craft (handprints) to go with the thank you cards. Most impressively, they are complete and I have started getting them out.

They are not saying words yet, but are both making more sounds and jabbering. I am sure that it will not be long before I wish for this stage back. With their adjusted age, they are 14 months, so there are no concerns. We do meet with the heart specialist for #1 next month. There seems to be some confusion between the pedi and specialist on if he needs to be medicated for his murmur.

QOTW: I know that I am new to this game, but the thing that I am most surprised by is that I feel like these kids have been in my world forever. It is hard to remember what it was like to not have them on my mind, or wonder what they are doing at daycare. Just a month ago, we weren't sure that they would even come live with us, now I can't imagine life without them in it.

[Deleted]

Crazy busy here.... today J turned 5! He was immediately curious if his legs were longer if he was heavier and if he grew overnight! My 5 year old. Ill check in later, for real, but for now I feel utterly satisfied that my child has made it to this great age!

[jazibel]

Sept 22, 2015 8:23:21 GMT -5 karlamo said:

jazibel, that's exactly what the sales rep said about the colors. We went with silver frame and black seats.

 Smart!!  I'm glad you had a great sales rep.  I was just assembling the stroller today and shaking my head at how dirty it looked (and I just washed the seats a month ago).  At least they're fairly easy to wash!

I liked that I could tilt the seat back into a "bed" like setting for Owen when he was little.