What's keeping you up at night?

[tribute17]

What are you worrying about?
What's bothering you?
What can you not stop thinking about?

Get them all out here and maybe we can feel better.

[tribute17]

Mainly Hs job situation. He goes next week for an interview. Like I've said before, this is not a typical interview. He basically spends three days with the guy to see if personalities mesh. I think he pretty much has it but we will see. If he gets it we are taking it. I think it is too important not to and I will just have to find some way to make some money. I'm nervous about moving. I don't handle change well and this is big change. Moving in general is a big deal but moving away from all family and with two kids. I know people do it all of the time and it will be fine. Just nervous so I think about it all of the time and he doesn't even have the job yet.

I also worry that I'm messing up Patrick. I have a hard time disciplining him and I don't really know why. I think it has mostly been since William was born but I know I need to, I just can't for some reason. I'm working on it. Although at kids day out they said he was the polite and smart one so I guess he's not too bad.

I also worry about money more than I should. I know we could be way worse and our situation is temporary because one day we will both have jobs again but with grad schools and finding jobs we haven't both had jobs since 2008. That's a long time.

[summergirl1211]

Hugs tribute17!

The upcoming move. We're going on vacation the week before both closings happen, and although the builder says our house will be ready a few days before we have to move out of our current house, we know delays can happen. We need to be mostly packed before we go, but yet leave out all important stuff because my parents will be watching Riley here the week we're gone. It's just a lot of unknowns, which is hard for me because I'm a planner.

Getting pregnant. I'm hoping it'll still happen but am worried what might come up during the inevitable testing we will do when meeting with the RE. I just hope we're able to have another and we didn't wait too long.

[tribute17]

summergirl1211 I hate Ttc. I worried all of the time and it happens again every month. Good luck and I hope you get good news soon.

Good luck with the house. That's so exciting and once you move in you won't even remember the stress. Hopefully the timing works out.

[jennmm]

DH has been showing increased dissatisfaction with where we currently live. Keep in mind, this is a house WE picked out 4 years ago in a neighborhood WE both agreed we liked. I made it clear this was going to be a long term situation. I am not interested in moving every 4 or 5 years. We used to live in a rural area and it was just too much. There is no real choice of childcare. It's 45 minutes to an hour for me to get to work and from work. All of that falls on me. He works from 7 to 7 so he's not responsible for any of the school stuff. He is in the process of changing locations within his company. He's going to be working in the county we used to live in so he keeps making noise about wanting to move there. I'm like "Hell no." He was just as eager to move away from the area as I was a few years ago. It's all run down trailers and people who sit home all day not working and piling up junk in their yards. I won't even mention the number of meth labs. So he complains constantly about our house, our town, the schools. He's pushing me to the brink of my sanity.

[traceyt07]

tribute17, hugs. I hope everything works out with the job, the potential move, and Patrick. It is hard moving away from your support system, but you're strong, you can do it.

summergirl1211, sticky baby, pregnancy dust coming your way. I hope if the RE does find anything it's something that can be helped. Moving sucks, it just does, but you'll be okay and in the long run it'll be so worth it!

jennmm, that's so frustrating! Hopefully he'll get over it soon!

I'm worried about Asher. He has such anxiety and I don't know how to help him. You all know about the bus issue- thank goodness we're finally over that! He's also got issues with having his picture taken. I don't know why, but he flips out when anyone other than me tries to take his picture. He went to bed in tears last night saying that he didn't want to go to school. This morning he finally told me it was because the teacher is supposed to take their picture today in the classroom and he doesn't want her to. I know in the long run it's a small thing, but he just gets so upset! He has legit panic attacks and gets upset to the point that he vomits. I've spoken to the pedi about it before and she told me that as long as it's not affecting him academically there's not much she recommends. At this point he's doing really well academically, but socially I really worry! Ugh! Why can't these kids come with handbooks???

[tribute17]

@tracyt07 have you thought about a child psychologist? The pedi only knows so much and the psych would have more experience with specific problems. It sounds like more than just normal anxiety to me and maybe there is a small easy fix that can help him deal with changes a little better.

[origamimommy]

The state of my marriage. How I am going to give Tyler the life he deserves if I'm by myself. I am scared of giving H another chance, and that he'll go back to the same as soon as I give in, but I am scared of walking away if I haven't tried hard enough. I'm worried I will never be able to move around the country to further my career if we split up, and I will be stuck in Columbus forever.

I am worried about spending holidays alone, because I don't have family but H does. I can't imagine not spending Christmas with Tyler and having to be by myself. I hope if a divorce does happen, we can be mature and friendly enough to spend those times together.

I am scared I will never have another baby. With my diagnosis this year, it's going to be extremely difficult for me to conceive, so ideally I would start now, but that's impossible right now. So I am sure I will never have more kids and that is killing me.

[origamimommy]

tribute17, summergirl1211, jennmm, traceyt07, hugs to you all. We are all dealing with some tough stuff.

[traceyt07]

Sept 22, 2015 9:00:08 GMT -5 tribute17 said:

@tracyt07 have you thought about a child psychologist? The pedi only knows so much and the psych would have more experience with specific problems. It sounds like more than just normal anxiety to me and maybe there is a small easy fix that can help him deal with changes a little better.

That's what DH and I are discussing at the moment.  He wants to try to utilize the school psychologist, but since it's not affecting his academics I'm afraid they won't be very forthcoming with that.  Also, and I know this sounds awful, but I don't really want him labeled in school.  I'd rather pursue services outside of school, but bc of my insurance we need a referral.  I'm hoping the pedi will cooperate.  

[starfishy]

The baby worries. I just worry about losing this baby. I know I can't do another pregnancy so this is it.

School/work. I'm just so overwhelmed bc my kids are bad, there is so much on my plate and I'm not even functioning right now bc morning sickness is so bad. I just want to sit and cry.

[starfishy]

Hugs ladies.

[samelly]

Well, I'm 7 months pregnant - so the inability to get comfortable is keeping me up at night. Also, feeling very unprepared for baby. I don't even have a short list for names. I have no idea who is going to watch DD when I'm in labour, unless it happens to be when she's at daycare - which means maybe DH won't be able to attend the birth. Also, I'm scared that having two kids is going to be complete chaos. DD is such a handful sometimes and I can't keep up with her.

[laurski81]

All the love tits are for support. Hugs to all you ladies. I so wish we could all get together IRL and just have a glass or two of wine together.
Right now what is keeping me up at night is the state of my marriage, trusting someone I don't know to watch my kids, wondering if I am being the best mother I can be, and just keeping everything together.
It is no secret that my H and I weren't dating long before I got pregnant and honestly we just never got that time to really get to know the other person before Henry arrived. We never got time to really date, just be able to enjoy each other; we didn’t even get a real honeymoon. I’m not blaming anyone but ourselves…we are adults. My boss (who is known for having no boundaries) asked me the other day if I would have married Eric had I not have gotten pregnant and had Henry. I was kind of taken aback but have a great relationship with him, so I answered him honestly in saying “probably not”. Now a lot of that also has to do with my moving situation. I got a job in CT and was leaving AZ, we had only been dating a short period of time and while he said he wanted to move with me I knew we would end up just splitting up…but then I got pregnant. We chose to try to be a family, we chose to get married, we chose to have another child but we really need to work on our marriage. All those things that you learn about another person when you are dating we are learning about the other while raising a baby/toddler and now another baby. And we get zero time to connect just the two of us. Relationship-wise we have more bad days than good and it needs to change or we are headed down the path to separate.
But I’m scared to have someone else (that I don’t know) watch my kids. I just spent all this money on a care.com account and I’m scared I won’t actually be able to trust anyone. I’m scared that I yell at Henry too much because he’s so challenging. I scared I rely on the TV too much. I’m scared that Henry or Cece will think that I’m not good enough, that I’m not giving them enough…
It’s been a really rough time for me and for my family lately.

[tribute17]

jennmm that's got to be frustrating. I hate when H changes his mind in even little stuff.

@origammimommy stay strong and make the right decisions for you and Tyler. He either will or won't come around that's a very tough situation to deal with.

@ traceyt07 maybe the school social worker would be better? Just someone for him to talk to without formal paperwork or evaluations. II don't know how it works at the elementary level. I hate insurance when it comes to mental health issues.

laurski81 I didn't know you were struggling so much in your marriage. That has got to be so tough in general but also with two kids. And you aren't getting enough sleep so that makes it even worse. Big hugs. That makes me sad and I don't really even know you. I do think once you have someone babysit it will be easier to trust someone. The first time might be hard but it would get better.

I also agree that it would be nice to live closer to everyone. I don't really have anyone with kids to talk to and even then I'm not 100% honest with them. It's very isolating sometimes. I can't imagine doing it without my H to help. Good luck to everyone. We are dealing with some major life decisions right now.

[xanthepants]

Hugs and wine to every single one of you. I have to run out the door right now, but I'll be back to offer more. I love you girls and hate hearing you struggle.

[aylafsu1881]

Sending support to everyone!

tribute17, FX everything goes well. Have you thought about tutoring at the new place? With your teaching experience and education it could be a good fit until you get a permanent position again.

traceyt07, Hugs. Someone just posted about anxiety in kids on the parenting board (last week). You may find it useful and some of the ladies had some good ideas and tips. I know it is hard to deal with and I know Asher is having a tough time time.
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/63859/child-psych-help

starfishy, Hugs.

[summergirl1211]

origamimommy, girl, I feel your pain. I was in the exact same position a year ago. It's so hard to know when to stay and when to cut your losses and go. If you ever need anything, just let me know.

laurski81, oh hon. I teared up reading your comment because I'm so frustrated I can't help you. I so wish we were closer so I could take your kids and just let you and your H have some time. I know it's really hard trusting others to watch your kids- the only people we have watch Riley are family members or people from daycare, so I trust them all completely. Starting fresh with a complete stranger must be terrifying. And I know you are not getting anywhere near the sleep you need, so that alone has to cause stress and frustration, even if everything else in your life is perfect. Lending an ear and a shoulder to cry on any time.

Hugs to everyone today ladies. Lyfe is so tough!

[lkamenko]

Sending hug and support to each of you, ladies! I am sorry you are struggling so much. I wish live was easier for all of us.

I am sorry to bring this up here, but what kept me up at night was reading about that horrible crime on "baby Doe". I was crying reading about such a terrible abuse and murder of this innocent girl. And she was July 12th baby which made it even more tragic in my eyes. I should not read the news. Cases like this one are so disturbing I just can't...

[tribute17]

Sept 22, 2015 11:53:26 GMT -5 aylafsu1881 said:

Sending support to everyone!

tribute17, FX everything goes well. Have you thought about tutoring at the new place? With your teaching experience and education it could be a good fit until you get a permanent position again.

traceyt07, Hugs. Someone just posted about anxiety in kids on the parenting board (last week). You may find it useful and some of the ladies had some good ideas and tips. I know it is hard to deal with and I know Asher is having a tough time time.
www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/thread/63859/child-psych-help

starfishy, Hugs.

I have a few online type jobs that I'm looking at. Either tutoring online or in person, evaluators for online universities or high schools, or online teaching. I will probably try to sub some too, maybe just in Friday's so H can maybe be home. If he has some flexibility then he could work Saturdays instead and I sub some maybe. We will see. I think I can earn us some money in some way, which would help.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

I wish I had more time to write today, but I love all you laides, seriously. Hugs to everyone

[mightybee]

Hugs to all. I hate that you're dealing with such tough stuff. Know it will get better.

[starfishy]

laurski81 I'm sorry. That sounds really tough. I know it's hard to trust someone new, but care.com is good and I always start with something small. So I go out to the store or lunch for an hour and have the babysitter over. Then have them over for longer periods of time to build that trust.
I hope you and H get some time to be a couple.

[jennmm]

This doesn't keep me up at night but it's frustrating. SS has started being a turd again and DH is in New Mexico for 2 weeks. Yay for me.

[summergirl1211]

Sept 22, 2015 14:57:37 GMT -5 jennmm said:

This doesn't keep me up at night but it's frustrating. SS has started being a turd again and DH is in New Mexico for 2 weeks. Yay for me.

Ugh, I'm sorry jennmm. I hope he calms down for you and the two weeks with your H being away go quickly! 

[trixi282]

What doesn't keep me awake lately? That would be easier to answer...

Work, I cut back my hours, but now we're realizing I do need more hours so we can pay for everything... this after we purchased some new furniture. I KNEW I should have stood my ground and told H we would wait on the new sofa and chairs. But I gave in, and I know that's not tipping the scales per se, but it adds to the frustration. Work is picking up, so I can work more, but I'm still working out my hours and schedule...

There are 10thousand appointments lined up the next few weeks, and even though H is going to be able to take E to most of them, I'm stressing because I want to be there too. I know he wants to be involved too, and his schedule is allowing for that better than mine, but I hate that I won't be there for all of her therapy appointments. She also has a swallow study this Thursday, and I'm wondering how they're going to get imagine of her swallowing when she won't even take a bottle in her mouth lately!! Seriously, I'm afraid we'll be there for 2 hours and get nowhere.

Which is the other thing that keeps me awake... my child with feeding issues... will she ever take a bottle? If she does, will she take more than 1oz. at a time? Will she have issues with eating solids when the time comes? Will she always have issues swallowing liquids, foods, anything? How long will she have a g-tube? More unknowns on our long journey.

There is more, but I won't bore you all... H has been great with most of this - we have our moments, but that's not new. But I do worry that with E's feeding issues it will be that much harder to go out and do things as a couple. We've started to try and teach our family how to use the pump, but we haven't had them actually do it yet... It's not hard, but I'm nervous to leave her with anyone alone (aside from daycare) and have them not be able to feed her. Who knows when we might actually have a date night again...

[trixi282]

And to all you ladies, I'm so sorry so many of us are dealing with heavy issues right now... Hugs all around - I wish we could have one big J12 girls night out (or weekend, haha) to just vent and share and support one another!

[gk12]

trixi282 we've been dealing with feeding issues with Eleanor. They are not as severe as your LO but I can relate to the worry. Eleanor is finally taking a bottle but we had to see specialists and she's on reflux meds. Now we're trying to put weight on her.

Does the SLP who will be doing the swallow study know that LO isn't consistent taking a bottle? The SLP we saw was so experienced and patient. It made me feel better especially since I am an SLP but have little swallowing experience. Also it's great that your DH can do appointments. I'm almost out of sick time bc I've been the one doing them all.

I continue to keep you and LO in my thoughts. Sending positive vibes your way.

I've been worried about Eleanor and her weight/feeding. Also have to bring my dog to the vet tomorrow bc she has an egg size hard mass on her leg. She's 10 and not doing well. I am expecting a cancer diagnosis based on her behavior. I've been a mess and am trying to just wait til we know more tomorrow.

To all the ladies I think it says a lot about this group that we can all be so honest and support each other. I hope things get better for all of J12.

[mrsdonati]

Hugs ladies, wishing all of you all the best!

[britbratjf]

Big hugs to all you ladies.