Flame-free FTM questions

[ArgyleEnigma]

I thought I'd start a thread where everyone (but probably especially first-timers) can ? all their ?s.

I'll start with the obvious: please to give me the skinny on what I actually need to avoid, other than alcohol and the fun stuff at Disneyland.

And an answer, that I already put in randoms: 3 hour flight, no radiation concerns. Longer, maybe. Frequent-flyer on long flights, definitely.

[shoogars]

So I'm a pretty relax mama, but as far as things to avoid, I stay away from alcohol, smoking, hard drugs, and raw chicken. As far as the lunch meat, soft cheeses, sushi, over-easy eggs my doctor said he (nor any of his partners) had ever seen a case of listeria in a pregnant woman. He said his own wife ate sushi through out pregnancy.

I would avoid some of these foods more form a sodium intake than from the whole scare of listeria...

Eta words

[cattuccino]

As a general rule, if you're worried, choose something else.
Though it's really hard when you read on the internet too much.

All the fun things in moderation. (chocolate, caffeine, sugar, salt).

I was super paranoid in previous pregnancies and avoid any and all pain medication, though there are some that are okay'd for pregnancy, such as Tylenol (generally). So don't make yourself suffer (like I did).

[titania]

When out with friends or other social events did anyone get questions on why they weren't drinking? Did people notice? Do you have any ready-made excuses? I am not a huge drinker, but I do drink and I have a TON of birthday dinners and housewarming parties coming up. I am nervous people will notice I'm not drinking and I don't want to be caught off guard if someone asks.

[carolinaheart]

Sept 30, 2015 15:09:07 GMT -5 titania said:

When out with friends or other social events did anyone get questions on why they weren't drinking? Did people notice? Do you have any ready-made excuses? I am not a huge drinker, but I do drink and I have a TON of birthday dinners and housewarming parties coming up. I am nervous people will notice I'm not drinking and I don't want to be caught off guard if someone asks.

This is the exact reason I'm sure we'll end up spilling the beans sooner than we'd like. Between drinking and cutting waaaay back on caffeine my mom and sisters are going to notice.

[ArgyleEnigma]

Sept 30, 2015 15:20:15 GMT -5 carolinaheart said:

Sept 30, 2015 15:09:07 GMT -5 titania said:

When out with friends or other social events did anyone get questions on why they weren't drinking? Did people notice? Do you have any ready-made excuses? I am not a huge drinker, but I do drink and I have a TON of birthday dinners and housewarming parties coming up. I am nervous people will notice I'm not drinking and I don't want to be caught off guard if someone asks.

This is the exact reason I'm sure we'll end up spilling the beans sooner than we'd like. Between drinking and cutting waaaay back on caffeine my mom and sisters are going to notice.

I'm sorry you're faced with this. Maybe people will be polite enough to pretend not to notice. I don't drink anyway, so I don't have to deal with this but it would drive me crazy. What about carrying around a decoy drink/mocktail?

I do have a ready-made answer to the direct question: you'll be the first to know. Optional preface: When we have news.... I love this non-answer, been using it for years.

[ArgyleEnigma]

Oh, a friend I know had her husband audibly/publicly offer her a drink. She just casually refused, like "nah" or something. It didn't totally work-- actually tipped me off, I know then really well and could tell they were acting-- but my husband and I think everyone else was fooled.

[cattuccino]

Virgin drinks sometimes works if you're ordering your own.
At a dinner the other night my H drank the wine I was served throughout dinner and no one noticed.

With holidays and weddings coming up though it will become more obvious... Though saying I'm DD may work for some

[titania]

I'm going to work with MH to practice his surreptitious drinking of my drinks

[ArgyleEnigma]

Sept 30, 2015 17:02:21 GMT -5 titania said:

I'm going to work with MH to practice his surreptitious drinking of my drinks

It will be good of him to do this for you ;-)

[amiet79]

Sept 30, 2015 16:47:26 GMT -5 cattuccino said:

Virgin drinks sometimes works if you're ordering your own.
At a dinner the other night my H drank the wine I was served throughout dinner and no one noticed.

With holidays and weddings coming up though it will become more obvious... Though saying I'm DD may work for some

I have a wedding coming up on Saturday. I'm going to have a few virgin drinks and hope no one notices. I just told my family today so I won't have to hide it at Thanksgiving. 

[Carrie]

With my first we had a wine tasting event before I was ready to go public. I held a glass of wine and every now and then my husband took a sip when no one was looking.

[broadwaymama]

I have events coming up too. On the 17th I have one of paint party things for my SILs bachelorette party! I'm afraid be cause I'm going with my other SIL. I'm driving so im just going to pretend that I didn't eat all day and I don't want to risk driving home.

[titania]

Sept 30, 2015 19:04:59 GMT -5 broadwaymama said:

I have events coming up too. On the 17th I have one of paint party things for my SILs bachelorette party! I'm afraid be cause I'm going with my other SIL. I'm driving so im just going to pretend that I didn't eat all day and I don't want to risk driving home.

oh a bachelorette party is a hard one! It sounds like you have a good plan!

[kittenslove]

I just hold the same drink all night. My last pregnancy, no one noticed. The only event when I would have most likely been called out at, I pretended to have a stomach virus (morning sickness made that easy) and sipped ginger-ale.

I'm a "in moderation" type of person. Last pregnancy I had aversions to most things they say to avoid: lunch meat still turns my stomach. I also avoided meat in general because it freaked me out. I did miss sushi, and I plan on eating it this time (in moderation, from reputable places).

The one thing I gave up before becoming pregnant last time was coca-cola. I got my addiction back recently, and want to quit again now that im knocked up. I haven't had one in about a week, and I'm doing well so far, but I think its going to be the hardest thing for me to quit.

[Andrea]

Sept 30, 2015 19:04:59 GMT -5 broadwaymama said:

I have events coming up too. On the 17th I have one of paint party things for my SILs bachelorette party! I'm afraid be cause I'm going with my other SIL. I'm driving so im just going to pretend that I didn't eat all day and I don't want to risk driving home.

I have a bachelorette in Charleston this coming weekend. It is for my best friend's twenty three year old sister, who I love dearly. I just wish I could go back to April & politely decline. I think I'm coming clean (most of the people I will probably only see at the bride's life events) so I don't look like an old lame lady that won't "party."

On Saturday the agenda is: pre drinks, drinks, dinner, after dinner drinks, dancing at A CLUB. I am just trying to find something to eat that doesn't make me wanna hurl & stay up for more that 4 hours without needing a nap.

[broadwaymama]

Sept 30, 2015 21:19:47 GMT -5 Andrea said:

Sept 30, 2015 19:04:59 GMT -5 broadwaymama said:

I have events coming up too. On the 17th I have one of paint party things for my SILs bachelorette party! I'm afraid be cause I'm going with my other SIL. I'm driving so im just going to pretend that I didn't eat all day and I don't want to risk driving home.

I have a bachelorette in Charleston this coming weekend. It is for my best friend's twenty three year old sister, who I love dearly. I just wish I could go back to April & politely decline. I think I'm coming clean (most of the people I will probably only see at the bride's life events) so I don't look like an old lame lady that won't "party."

On Saturday the agenda is: pre drinks, drinks, dinner, after dinner drinks, dancing at A CLUB. I am just trying to find something to eat that doesn't make me wanna hurl & stay up for more that 4 hours without needing a nap.

Haha "A CLUB" all I can think of is baby mama when they go to the club and she has the fake belly on! At least you won't be showing!

[ArgyleEnigma]

Sept 30, 2015 21:19:47 GMT -5 Andrea said:

Sept 30, 2015 19:04:59 GMT -5 broadwaymama said:

I have events coming up too. On the 17th I have one of paint party things for my SILs bachelorette party! I'm afraid be cause I'm going with my other SIL. I'm driving so im just going to pretend that I didn't eat all day and I don't want to risk driving home.

I have a bachelorette in Charleston this coming weekend. It is for my best friend's twenty three year old sister, who I love dearly. I just wish I could go back to April & politely decline. I think I'm coming clean (most of the people I will probably only see at the bride's life events) so I don't look like an old lame lady that won't "party."

On Saturday the agenda is: pre drinks, drinks, dinner, after dinner drinks, dancing at A CLUB. I am just trying to find something to eat that doesn't make me wanna hurl & stay up for more that 4 hours without needing a nap.

This sounds miserable. Why don't you say you're sick? Chances are you will be, after all.

[Andrea]

broadwaymama, For real! I am just hoping that I don't barf over the VIP table.

[ArgyleEnigma]

And is it just me, or did other jaws drop at bachelorette parties in October with rsvps in April? That is five months. My save the dates weren't out yet.

[Andrea]

ArgyleEnigma, I am bad at saying no. We are staying at the beautiful house, chances are we get tons of rain from the hurricane. I plan to play the pregnant card, and nap.

[ArgyleEnigma]

Sept 30, 2015 21:36:39 GMT -5 Andrea said:

ArgyleEnigma, I am bad at saying no. We are staying at the beautiful house, chances are we get tons of rain from the hurricane. I plan to play the pregnant card, and nap.

I strongly encourage this plan of inaction.

[Andrea]

Sept 30, 2015 21:36:57 GMT -5 ArgyleEnigma said:

And is it just me, or did other jaws drop at bachelorette parties in October with rsvps in April? That is five months. My save the dates weren't out yet.

It is a freaking circus. I love them, but it got a little ridic.

[titania]

Andrea wow! in a non-pregnant state that bachelorette party agenda would exhaust me!

[pbj14]

Sept 30, 2015 15:09:07 GMT -5 titania said:

When out with friends or other social events did anyone get questions on why they weren't drinking? Did people notice? Do you have any ready-made excuses? I am not a huge drinker, but I do drink and I have a TON of birthday dinners and housewarming parties coming up. I am nervous people will notice I'm not drinking and I don't want to be caught off guard if someone asks.

When all else fails...I always fall back on the "I'm on antibiotics" excuse. People usually don't question it! 

[cattuccino]

Oct 1, 2015 8:34:55 GMT -5 pbj14 said:

Sept 30, 2015 15:09:07 GMT -5 titania said:

When out with friends or other social events did anyone get questions on why they weren't drinking? Did people notice? Do you have any ready-made excuses? I am not a huge drinker, but I do drink and I have a TON of birthday dinners and housewarming parties coming up. I am nervous people will notice I'm not drinking and I don't want to be caught off guard if someone asks.

When all else fails...I always fall back on the "I'm on antibiotics" excuse. People usually don't question it! 

Or "I have a migraine and have taken hefty drugs already" 
Which also gets you brownie points for showing up with a migraine