Post by activebaby on Jan 17, 2017 20:58:04 GMT -5
lulu I don't find that too odd. I don't wake as often as you do, but I have to do frequent checks on the kids. Having the monitors in their rooms has decreased my stress. I think a monitor for your 9 year old is probably a bit much as they probably want privacy. However, I'm not judging that...who knows what I'll be doing when my oldest is 9. I also go in and out of having to check things. I used to have to touch each burner of the stove to make sure it was safe...then I got a gas stove so I don't do that anymore. I also used to unplug the toaster oven every day. I should probably start doing that again. Also I have to do a routine with my hair straightener so I am sure I turned it off. If not, the worry drives me crazy. I don't have any advice other than routine helps me and I think baby monitors will ease your mind (but may be a bit much for the oldest).
It was so nice waking up this morning to such kind messages - you are all so lovely and so thoughtful in your replies/advice. I love having this board.
Another "trick" I'm going to try is to focus on thinking about some really crappy parents I know (that sounds mean doesn't it), and reminding myself that there are a lot of mutants in this world who are terrible parents and their children are still breathing and in comparison, I maybe don't do such a bad job 😀.
I know it will be a long road ahead, but I do feel a bit reassured that I will eventually get through it. I did it before, I can do it again.
It was so nice waking up this morning to such kind messages - you are all so lovely and so thoughtful in your replies/advice. I love having this board.
Another "trick" I'm going to try is to focus on thinking about some really crappy parents I know (that sounds mean doesn't it), and reminding myself that there are a lot of mutants in this world who are terrible parents and their children are still breathing and in comparison, I maybe don't do such a bad job 😀.
I know it will be a long road ahead, but I do feel a bit reassured that I will eventually get through it. I did it before, I can do it again.
DH actually reminds me of this when I'm feeling like a bad parent. I also read an article that says if you are worried that you are a bad mom, you are actually a good mom because a truly "bad" mom wouldn't worry about it!
I still check DS's monitor throughout the night. I get worried that I won't hear him if something is wrong so the video monitor gives me reassurance. I'm also similar to activebaby - I'll check the stove, hair straightener, coffee maker, etc. several times to make sure I turned it off...
lulu you absolutely can do this and asking for help when needed is the first step to tackling the things that bother you. I can't imagine having those invasive thoughts all the time and the fact that you can acknowledge them and take steps to fix it is a testament to your character. I'm really glad your DH will be with you for delivery though so you have someone to lean on.
Thanks again everyone. I'm doing ok and know I will have my bad days once DH is away after the baby is home - but having you all here to talk to helps me so much.
I know I moan (a lot!) but it helps me so much to release all my troubles on this board and it's amazing you don't judge or laugh at me.
I never ever thought I could find such a supportive and kind group of women (who I have never met!) - you mean so much to me...and to my family who reap the benefits of your advice x
It's been an up and down last week of being pregnant.
My appointment with the GP to sort out anxiety meds did not go great. The GP I chose is great with the kids and I really thought he would be good with me. Nope! He had no time for mental health, basically looked at me like I was wasting his time and being "hormonal" and told me "well your on medication for depression and anxiety already so I don't see what you expect me to do."
I was distraught but kind of getting past it now and making a plan. So once the baby is here I'm going to a different GP for help.
I'm just disappointed as wanted to be mentally in a good place before my wee girl arrived. Feel now I'll only get help once things have turned bad again.
Then I got a different consultant at hospital!!!! I was allowed to go in every day for monitoring to help my anxiety about not feeling the baby because of my high fluid levels. This new consultant troops in and says "this is unnecessary, your baby is fine don't come back for a week." (She probably thought she was being reassuring!)
Once again I was distraught. I just feel like I get good care and a good plan and someone comes along and unravels it.
Thankfully I was there today and my regular consultant was back - straight away he said "start coming back in everyday now until Monday, we want to help your anxiety as much as we can". So that was a nice end to a stressful week!
For now, I'm trying to just go easy on myself and not feel guilty about asking DH for help, trying the best I can to be in a good place for Monday.
Despite all my worries and past sadnesses, I am SO SO excited for Monday and to meet my girl x
lulu wow that is a lot to deal with. I'm afraid of our country moving towards universal healthcare and you validate hat fear with your stories. I felt like I had to advocate for myself so much this week going through the pre term labor stuff, I was so frustrated trying to get them to look at me and believe that I was indeed in labor. I feel sad that is the norm for you with every single encounter.
I'm so excited for you. Do you have a name picked out?
Honest to goodness it's one thing after another with health care over here. A constant battle. I'm tough enough to fight for myself and my kids and strong enough now to see issues with my own mental health happening before anything gets out of control.
I feel heart broken for those who don't have that strength or support and who are left abandoned by such an inept and incompetent system.
Scarily - I don't think that has so much to do with funding as old fashioned attitudes with the health service particular at GP level toward mental health.
However - incompetence is found everywhere as I also discovered today....two weeks ago DS was seen at the children's hospital for his breathing and continual vomiting. It was a great appointment and he was to be prescribed stronger inhalers and a new medication. There was no sign of the medicine or the results of his chest X-ray and I was constantly chasing it up at my doctors surgery.
Today I'd had enough and while I was at the hospital being monitored, I decided to pop in to the children's ward to chase it up.
I got a phonecall tonight from the hospital apologising....the consultant had forgotten all about it!! WTF!!!
When I was in labour with DS, my best friend from school was a student midwife in the hospital. By all miracles, she was working on a placement in labour suite the day I was in.
I was probably in my last 2 hours of labour when she started her night shift and she asked her mentor if she could deliver DS....she was allowed!
It was perfect - I trusted her so much that I just did what my body wanted me to do and I had no tearing or even swelling and was up and about in no time. Definitely because of her.
(Yeah plenty went wrong afterwards but nothing to do with her and I think how much worse it would've been if I needed stitches or was in lots of pain).
It was the most blessed gift she could've given me to be there delivering my boy and I'll never ever forget it.
Well - she since got a full time job since qualifying on the post natal ward in the same hospital and I was really pleased for her. She's a brilliant midwife.
She text today to say she's transferred recently to labour suite and....is working on Tuesday 😀😀😀😀😀. I'm so excited.
If I'm honest I want to go in on Monday, get the pessary and give birth a few hours later and go home....however deep down it would also be awesome (and more realistic) for the pessary not to work and for me to need the drip on Tuesday and I'll be delighted with that as my friend will be there 😀.
Note how I'm not even considering there won't be a space for me in the labour suite and I'll still be waiting there no further forward by next weekend!
Thank you for the update! I've been thinking of you! How far along are you now?
thank you! 10 weeks tomorrow. Edd 9/7
How are you doing? No more contractions or other scares, I hope!
No I have been self limiting and it's helping. My anxiety is through the roof because I'm letting so many things at home go. I will only be able to tolerate for so long before I snap. Lol
Looking forward to getting seen today, I want a long term plan because it seems as though this is a huge added stress to me and I can't do this for another 3 months.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.