TTC Check-In 10/12

[rikkiandjulie]

How's it going for everyone?

[rikkiandjulie]

This might be triggering, not sure, so trigger warning.

Today marks exactly one years since DW had her first appointment at the hospital with our team of REs. They predicted that she would be pregnant within six tries, it sounded hopeful. Now into try number 5, it feels less hopeful.

This TWW has been killing me, and is exhausting. Ever since DW had spotting 6dpo which has NEVER happened, I have been a crazy symptom spotting lunatic, but as preoccupied as I am, in the back of my head I know that this cycle didn't work either. But her temp is incredibly erratic and dropped off again today, after a high yesterday, who knows if it's bc AF is hiding behind the progesterone or if it's actually the progesterone keeping her temps erratic. Next cycle we will only temp to confirm O, even though I am kinda curious to see a pattern.

IF on Friday the BETA is negative I am pushing hard for an HSG, even if the Drs don't deem it necessary, based on her age, and never having had an STD or a male partner. I want to be 100% there isn't a blockage. We have two tries left with our current donor and then come December we will be purchasing a new donor, I have my eye on one, but hopefully he's still up for grabs.

Today on my way to work, I cried the whole way. I have started tracking my cycle, it is not as regular as I thought, figures for the first month tracking right? It just felt like a bullet wound, I am desperately afraid that neither of us will be able to carry child, and that we will die fighting to do so. I know that this irrational but today right now that's where my head is.

[JustJudy]

I hear you lady.

It's CD1 for me, so still TTC. I can't believe we're at a year trying, it blows my mind that neither of us has been able to get pregnant. But we're going to forge ahead until we make a baby. I responded really well to the Femara last round so I'll be taking that again starting Wednesday.

[rikkiandjulie]

Fingers Crossed for you Judy! DW will try til April, which will be a year of I send, and then I will try.

[dannigirl]

Rikkiandjulie.. I can't believe they would do 5 rounds and not do an HSG. The very first thing my RE did was an HSG and bloodwork. She said there was no point even trying IUI until they knew for sure everything was clear.
I hope you guys see a BFP this month, get a big surprise.

Judy... No!!!! I'm sorry you are out this month.Ugh... Everything seemed so hopeful.

As for us.. Well I haven't heard back from my RE about my beta I had on Thursday. But since I've been bleeding like a stuffed pig (TMI?) since Friday morning... I'm sure it's a BFP. lol
Does this Femara make things interesting! Another TMI.. But holy clots!! I guess I had a really nice thick lining cause holy did it ever come out... It was kind of gross and a little concerning. Such as odd cycle so far....

I started looking for our new donor. And of course, I can't find anyone that even comes close to face matching with Jo's brother. So we just might go with hair, eyes and height and just run with those and a cute baby pic?
Shesh... It's so hard to try and pick 'the one'

[rikkiandjulie]

Oct 12, 2015 23:30:22 GMT -5 dannigirl said:

Rikkiandjulie.. I can't believe they would do 5 rounds and not do an HSG. The very first thing my RE did was an HSG and bloodwork. She said there was no point even trying IUI until they knew for sure everything was clear.
I hope you guys see a BFP this month, get a big surprise.

Judy... No!!!! I'm sorry you are out this month.Ugh... Everything seemed so hopeful.

As for us.. Well I haven't heard back from my RE about my beta I had on Thursday. But since I've been bleeding like a stuffed pig (TMI?) since Friday morning... I'm sure it's a BFP. lol
Does this Femara make things interesting! Another TMI.. But holy clots!! I guess I had a really nice thick lining cause holy did it ever come out... It was kind of gross and a little concerning. Such as odd cycle so far....

I started looking for our new donor. And of course, I can't find anyone that even comes close to face matching with Jo's brother. So we just might go with hair, eyes and height and just run with those and a cute baby pic?
Shesh... It's so hard to try and pick 'the one'

I have asked for one numerous times, and each time I am told that it's not necessary due to the fact that Julie has not ever had a male partner, an STD, and her age. I was also told that if she did truly need one, there would have been probably cause picked up in the dozens of transvaginal ultrasounds she has had. I never questioned it too much because the RE is the only one in a four hour radius, and is at a leading hospital. The RE is also a team of Drs, roughly 6 who all work together, review our charts and make medical decisions. 4 out of 6 of them are award winning Drs. That is why I never questioned it, but mark my words if this cycle is a bust, DW will be having one.

[kona]

@rickiandjulie

Not that you need any further fuel for the fire, but we got pregnant after a HSG revealed polps. We tried 7 IUI and we got the same story. There was no reason to expect an issue etc.

I hope you get results soon! I know how challenging this process can be.

[klake42]

Another BFN for me, so I'm six for six.

We're going to talk to the RE on Friday about IVF. I've realized that with what we've spent this year, we've hit the threshold to start to really be able to deduct the expenses, and that's going to impact our tax refund in a measurable way, provided that we are on track for IVF before the end of the year. If we wait until January, we'll have to start over (medical expenses aren't tax deductible until you hit 10% of AGI).

So it's time to have that conversation. I'm really scared about incurring that kind of debt, since we're self-pay for everything. I'm scared of all the injections. I'm scared of invasive medical procedures. I'm scared about a very expensive procedure with less than 50% success rate, but that's where we are.

If there's time for one more IUI before IVF, where we can still do IVF by the end of the year, then I'll do it.

[rikkiandjulie]

I'm really sorry about your BFN! That's no good!

I am hoping we get to deduct some from our taxes this year with the use of our FSA. But this year, we are hiring someone to do our taxes for the first time ever.

[kekaellypula]

I'm 5dpiui. Why have I been bloated and gassy for 5 days? Can I take something? I was told not to take anything other than vitamins and what was prescribed or Tylenol.

[wittyandwaiting]

*******lurker with something to say********

I know I don't go here but I did for a long time so I hope you don't mind me sticking my nose in.

rikkiandjulie, I really hope that you do push for that HSG. Our RE would not do an IUI without one. I knew somebody who had multiple IUI's before finding out that they had a small blockage. They got pregnant right after their HSG.

Sorry about the bfn klake42.

[rikkiandjulie]

Oct 14, 2015 20:44:00 GMT -5 wittyandwaiting said:

*******lurker with something to say********

I know I don't go here but I did for a long time so I hope you don't mind me sticking my nose in.

rikkiandjulie, I really hope that you do push for that HSG. Our RE would not do an IUI without one. I knew somebody who had multiple IUI's before finding out that they had a small blockage. They got pregnant right after their HSG.

Sorry about the bfn klake42.

@wittyandwaitibg I will MAKE them do one this time. I explained above why they didn't deem it necessary, but it seems as though they are more of the "after six failed IUIs" we will research more. We only have two vilest for this donor left who we LOVE so IF DW is t preggers come Friday, I think I may try with these last two viles.

[kona]

M had her first monitoring u/s of this cycle, everything looked good and she goes back on Monday again. We are committed to trying without drugs, just monitoring this cycle. Trying for #2 has been such a different experience already.

[klake42]

kekaellypula, I think that's normal. You used meds to stimulate ovulation, and a trigger shot? That always leaves me feeling a bit sore, swollen, and crampy for a week afterwards.

I've also found that I have to eat a little gently to avoid indigestion, when I'm dealing with medication. Smaller, lighter, more frequent meals.

[rikkiandjulie]

I agree. DW gets really gassy and overall not feeling well.

[kekaellypula]

yep... they had me med'd up. plus trigger. so i get to look forward to more bloating and gas for next cycle... YAY

[rikkiandjulie]

AF came today, even the progesterone couldn't keep her away a day longer. This sucks. I was actually too hopeful this time believe it or not. We still haven't taken a test, and will beta tomorrow to be 120% sure.

[rikkiandjulie]

Blood test confirmed the obvious, IUI #5 is a no go. DW is really shook up about it, more so than all the others. She has decided that she no longer wants to try with the last two viles, and wants to see if I have better luck since he is our top choice. While I am actively TTC she will just take a break, no tests, no shots, no meds. She really just needs to regroup, and breathe. While I am TTC these next few months we will see if DW wants to move forward with an HSG and IUIs, or jump to IVF. Regardless of weather or not I conceive, DW still REALLY wants to carry, and she WILL at some point, so we need to be sure we are still planning for that. I REALLY WANT TO TRY AT HOME FIRST, but after these past six months I doubt Julie would go for it.

If I don't get pregnant with either of these last two viles we have, we have a known donor, that has been a long time family friend. We will also start looking into that more. He's so close to all of us that we refer to him as my brother, and he joins us for all holidays. It might be a neat opportunity.

So even though this didn't work, we still have a TON of options.
End trigger----------

[klake42]

rikkiandjulie, I'm sorry about the BFN. I waver between feeling hopeful and feeling like this is all so hard. But two friends of mine (who are both older than me) just announced pregnancies on their very last-chance round of IVF (FETs, both of them), so I'm trying to draw some strength from seeing how hard they've struggled, and their success.

I'm feeling less scared of IVF today, after spending a couple hours with the clinic this morning. I am definitely going to go for IUI #7, and if it doesn't work, we are on track to be starting IVF near the end of the year. The holidays will give me a down cycle in November (since the RE clinic will close entirely for Christmas, so it screws with timing a bit), but I'm okay taking a break. I had a break between IUIs #3 and 4, and it was really good for me, psychologically and physically. It will also give me time for a saline sonohysterogram, as well as a counseling session with a therapist who knows IVF because she and her wife have done it, and I think that will help.

Also, no hormones for a month! Woohoo! Then it will be time for birth control and lupron in December, and I get geared up for stimming in January.

But I am trying to maintain some hope for this last IUI. Number 7 has always been my lucky number!

I have warm wishes for your family as you continue this journey.