play dates and illness

[velouria]

One of my best friends's kids often have "colds" and she always gives me a heads up and offers to reschedule play dates. I used to just say eff it and get together anyway, but after dealing with several rounds of crud this winter, I've been rescheduling. It's been a few weeks since we've seen each other. We were supposed to get together tomorrow but sadly they have colds again. What do you ladies do?

[allie1079]

Usually we reschedule. Especially if, like you, we've already had colds running through the house recently. IMHO, it's just not worth it.

[Deleted]

I'd probably reschedule too...we've only been sick a couple of times, and I wouldn't want to take the chance that she could catch something. But with putting colds in quotes like that, are you doubting her kids are sick?

[velouria]

Jan 28, 2015 23:43:34 GMT -5 @auri said:

I'd probably reschedule too...we've only been sick a couple of times, and I wouldn't want to take the chance that she could catch something. But with putting colds in quotes like that, are you doubting her kids are sick?

No, I definitely think they are sick. Sometimes I think it's more than just a cold. Its hard to tell because one of her girls has asthma and so things just hit her harder.

[littlemermaid]

I have always rescheduled if my kids or the other family's kids have been sick. It's just not worth catching the virus and then it potentially spreading throughout the family causing my husband to miss work.

[ashiscute]

I guess it depends on what kind of sick they are. If they have a runny nose but no fever and are happy that I would still meet up. If they have a fever or are acting sick I'd reschedule.

[bobcat]

I'm a FTM to a 5 month old so maybe I'm a little overly paranoid, but I definitely would never do a play date knowing one of the kiddos was sick. We were supposed to go to a friend's little girl's birthday party this weekend but just found out the little girl caught RSV. They decided to cancel which I think it definitely the right call. With that said, I'm told toddlers tend to have endlessly snotty noses, especially throughout the fall and winter, so maybe that can't be helped.

[namastebiotches]

We never did play dates but I wouldnt risk it if someone were sick.

[queenbabee]

Another reschedule vote here. One day it's a cold...the next it's the flu. You never know, even if no fever (yet). Always better safe than sorry.

[BostonKisses]

If it really is the common cold, and your kid doesn't have any conditions that would make a cold worse, I'd probably go and risk it. Germs are everywhere, and leaving the house at all during cold/flu season is a risk. Ultimately, though, you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

Given our circumstances, I would reschedule. Obviously we still have the risks of going out in public, but I don't knowingly take her into a situation like that because I never know if that would be the time that it's something worse and she'd get a ticket to "club med" for IVs due to an exacerbation.

[KC thepouchh8r]

Don't most kids get minor colds pretty often in the winter? I think if we stayed home due to colds we would be stuck in the house all winter. I will always give the parent the heads up so they can make an informed decision but otherwise unless my kid has a fever/explosive diarrhea/a nasty sounding cough/lethargic it's business as usual.

[masonjar]

We haven't had play dates yet, but I think I would reschedule.
Once my LO is older and has had all of his vaccines I'll probably change my tune. As long as there hasn't been a fever in the last 48 hours you're probably safe.

[caybeh]

If it is just a cold, no fever, we don't reschedule. I do always let the parents know ahead of time, but most of my friends feel the same way.

[andrewsgal]

Jan 29, 2015 12:39:07 GMT -5 KC thepouchh8r said:

Don't most kids get minor colds pretty often in the winter? I think if we stayed home due to colds we would be stuck in the house all winter. I will always give the parent the heads up so they can make an informed decision but otherwise unless my kid has a fever/explosive diarrhea/a nasty sounding cough/lethargic it's business as usual.

Yes! If we stayed in for colds in the winter between three kids we would never leave the house.

[mrslka]

As long has they don't have a fever or a hacky cough we go. I make sure to wash my kids hands good and we use essential oils to try to help give some extra defense. If we didn't go just because of a runny nose we would never have play dates.

[snarkysparklefart]

I always reschedule, but for my sake more than DDs. (I have Ulcerative colitis and my immune system sucks, things hit me pretty hard).

Unfortunately most of my mom friends aren't really keen on mentioning if their kids are sick before they come over. (that's terribly rude, right?!)

[mrslka]

Jan 29, 2015 21:10:52 GMT -5 snarkysparklefart said:

I always reschedule, but for my sake more than DDs. (I have Ulcerative colitis and my immune system sucks, things hit me pretty hard).

Unfortunately most of my mom friends aren't really keen on mentioning if their kids are sick before they come over. (that's terribly rude, right?!)

That is so rude! I would ask them to leave. I left my family Christmas this year because my sister showed up with one kid with pink eye (untreated) and the other with the flu! I don't understand some people!

[snarkysparklefart]

mrslka I totally have. I used to be the go-to in a pinch babysitter for friends, but actually lost a friend over it. She brought her pink eye kid here and didn't tell me until about 2 hours later when I texted to ask what was up with his eye..

FFTC: I don't at all miss being 'the go to in a pinch babysitter'.

[mrslka]

Jan 29, 2015 21:22:13 GMT -5 snarkysparklefart said:

mrslka I totally have. I used to be the go-to in a pinch babysitter for friends, but actually lost a friend over it. She brought her pink eye kid here and didn't tell me until about 2 hours later when I texted to ask what was up with his eye..

FFTC: I don't at all miss being 'the go to in a pinch babysitter'.

If you lost her over that she wasn't a true friend! I have had a friend get mad about being asked to leave but she cooled down a few days later and apologized.

[velouria]

Thanks ladies, we rescheduled because it was hard to determine if it was just sniffles or worse. Instead we went to the library for story time where we probably picked up a ton more germs than we would have on our play date.

[icequeen]

It's great that they give you advanced notice. I would absolutely reschedule, every time, if that was the case. My DD is a horrible sleeper to begin with, and any time she has a cold, it makes the nights ten times worse. Like PP's said, it's not worth it to me.

[Deleted]

Jan 29, 2015 17:20:22 GMT -5 andrewsgal said:

Jan 29, 2015 12:39:07 GMT -5 KC thepouchh8r said:

Don't most kids get minor colds pretty often in the winter? I think if we stayed home due to colds we would be stuck in the house all winter. I will always give the parent the heads up so they can make an informed decision but otherwise unless my kid has a fever/explosive diarrhea/a nasty sounding cough/lethargic it's business as usual.

Yes! If we stayed in for colds in the winter between three kids we would never leave the house.

This is us as well. And I swear to god if everyone is "healthy" someone gets sick afterwards.

[Girlymama79]

I'm the same as a lot of the PPs. Mild cold/sniffly noses we would go. Fever we don't.

[sugarkissed]

Jan 29, 2015 21:10:52 GMT -5 snarkysparklefart said:

I always reschedule, but for my sake more than DDs. (I have Ulcerative colitis and my immune system sucks, things hit me pretty hard).

Unfortunately most of my mom friends aren't really keen on mentioning if their kids are sick before they come over. (that's terribly rude, right?!)

Yes!! This happens to us all the time. My SIL is the worst. It seems someone in the family is always sick and then DD ends up with a cold a few days later.

[lavendergiraffes]

Im not sure what I would do in that situation but I had an experience kind of like you snarkysparklefart

I met this mom at a mommy and me class and we decided to go somewhere together with our girls a few weeks later. She lives like 2 blocks from me so I got excited. Mine was I think 6 months and hers was 8. Mine hadn't been sick yet. She put her car seat in my back seat next to S's and we got 10 mins away and her daughter started sneezing and coughing. As the morning went on I realized they both had a pretty nasty cold. Needless to say S and I both ended up with it. I was so pissed. No warning, whatsoever. I get kids get runny noses and kids get sick but her seat was literally right next to S's and she just spread her germs all over my car. She could have at least drove separately or gave me a heads up.

I don't hang out with her anymore.

[Deleted]

I would reschedule. You can get together once everyone is healthy again.  Its not worth the chance.