Post by HelloSweetie on Oct 23, 2015 11:41:35 GMT -5
I'm trying to write out our expenses and I got most of the static ones down but our computer is dying and I had to turn it back on four times. I gave up after that when it only lasted five seconds before shutting off again.
My confession is there is a very real chance MH has young onset Parkinson's and I am in complete denial. We go to another movement disorder specialist Monday and could possibly get a diagnosis then and I am completely numb.
I just cant believe he has it. It doesn't make sense to me. And I know I am not being supportive to him by saying it could be other illnesses for his symptoms but I have to try and be my version of positive or else I will just crumble.
My reduction is scheduled for Nov 5th. When hubby and I talked about it he asked me not to go smaller than a C. My confession: I've asked the dr to go as small as he can, ideally to a B.
Fuck readyornot I'm sorry. I've been wondering about you lately ever since you mention his struggles. Based on what you've shared here...this absolutely wouldn't be a situation of it being more you than him. It seems like you've grown into an adult and a mother and he's not kept up with you.
That's not on you, it's on him. But it's such a tough spot to be in. He needs to change so that you both can be happy in your relationship. And if he doesn't see the need to change and gives it the follow-through, well, then...you're left with the bag. It's super unfair.
I feel the same way about the boob job and God as I do about IVF and God. If there is a God and he/she was against those things, he/she wouldn't have created the medical advances that allowed us to have them as options. Get your surgery on if it's going to make you happy and healthy.
rosied we're here for you no matter what you learn on Monday.
I try to approach things like this with you don't know what you don't know. Any information you learn on Monday will have a glimmer of good in it, no matter what. You just have to process it and come to that conclusion on your own terms. Big hugs.
I'm trying to write out our expenses and I got most of the static ones down but our computer is dying and I had to turn it back on four times. I gave up after that when it only lasted five seconds before shutting off again.
Pencil and paper. You can do this.
I was doing both. I think I got everything. I went line by line for October writing it on paper. Added up, subtracted, made up guesses for gas/food/etc.
Holy shit is basically my reaction. I think I'm going to do cash for discretionary/fun/eating out. Definitely sitting down with H tonight. He just does what I say WRT money so it will be hardest for me.
Thanks guys. We are just ready to have some sort of answer at this point.
And in other news my other confession for the day is despite my anti smart phone comments yesterday I am carrying mine around with me everywhere so I can have mfp count my steps and give me more calories to eat. Because the guilt I get from logging my food and that damn thing judging me is just too fucking much
Fuck readyornot I'm sorry. I've been wondering about you lately ever since you mention his struggles. Based on what you've shared here...this absolutely wouldn't be a situation of it being more you than him. It seems like you've grown into an adult and a mother and he's not kept up with you.
That's not on you, it's on him. But it's such a tough spot to be in. He needs to change so that you both can be happy in your relationship. And if he doesn't see the need to change and gives it the follow-through, well, then...you're left with the bag. It's super unfair.
Its fucked up because he really DOES try. Ever since the CTJ about his drinking (which was only a few weeks ago, I know) he has curbed it. Not totally, & I don't think he ever will, but he has 100% scaled it back & has not been drinking around the kids & all that. Every time we have a CTJ he tries & every time there is something else I am unhappy about. That's where the its me not him comes from, but there is so much truth in the bolded words. He said something Saturday about nothing has changed & he is the same person he was 15 years ago when we first met. This was in regard to sports, so nothing dramatic, but I was immediately like no dude EVERYTHING has changed. I have really just spiraled on that statement ever since.
@juliagulia I have not seen a councilor & I know I/we probably should.
I'm just very conflicted on where I stand, honestly. I don't want to walk away from my marriage, I certainly don't want anyone else, but I definitely think about divorce more than a happily married person should.
Fuck readyornot I'm sorry. I've been wondering about you lately ever since you mention his struggles. Based on what you've shared here...this absolutely wouldn't be a situation of it being more you than him. It seems like you've grown into an adult and a mother and he's not kept up with you.
That's not on you, it's on him. But it's such a tough spot to be in. He needs to change so that you both can be happy in your relationship. And if he doesn't see the need to change and gives it the follow-through, well, then...you're left with the bag. It's super unfair.
Its fucked up because he really DOES try. Ever since the CTJ about his drinking (which was only a few weeks ago, I know) he has curbed it. Not totally, & I don't think he ever will, but he has 100% scaled it back & has not been drinking around the kids & all that. Every time we have a CTJ he tries & every time there is something else I am unhappy about. That's where the its me not him comes from, but there is so much truth in the bolded words. He said something Saturday about nothing has changed & he is the same person he was 15 years ago when we first met. This was in regard to sports, so nothing dramatic, but I was immediately like no dude EVERYTHING has changed. I have really just spiraled on that statement ever since.
@juliagulia I have not seen a councilor & I know I/we probably should.
I'm just very conflicted on where I stand, honestly. I don't want to walk away from my marriage, I certainly don't want anyone else, but I definitely think about divorce more than a happily married person should.
I hope you can see a counselor. I don't know you in real life but IMO someone should change in 15 years, especially with kids, etc. I don't see that as being "you, not him."
readyornot this year has been tough for me marriage wise. We're honestly holding on by a thread trying to get back to happy. It's hard work, and speaking to someone absolutely helps.
Post by readyornot on Oct 23, 2015 12:36:57 GMT -5
Also, I feel like it has to be exhausting for him, for me to never be satisfied & always have something else I want him to fix. I mean, I have never asked him to better or change something & him not agree that it needed done (regardless if he actually DID the change), but I feel like at some point he is going to just be done. Who wouldn't be?
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