Mama Check In!

[katie0919]

@tmg14 & somesay, I'm having the same problems/feelings over here. We kept DS home from daycare this week, and DH is off too and it just hasn't gone to plan - like I should be surprised. The problem is, poor DS is almost 4 and has a TON of energy so he wants to play and do stuff, but I'm stuck nursing DS2 most of the day so DH has been entertaining DS1 and just hasn't had any time with DS2. I hate to say I'm right, but we should have sent DS1 to daycare this week and just had the time be all about H and I bonding with DS1. IDK....this is not as hard as I thought it would be bringing a second child home, however, it's still hard just in a different way.

I'm feeling horribly guilty that I am sort of disconnected from DS1 now....I have this little sweet baby that does not wrong, then I have DS that is crazy and wild and sassy and - well, almost 4. So that's how that's going. He was my one and only for 3 years and 10 months and I just can't believe how quick there is that disconnect. I feel awful and am doing my best to stay connected to him but it's hard when I had a csection also and just can't pick him up or do anything to keep up the affection.

Blah, sorry that was long winded. I am just full of emotions. I cry almost every night, guess that's hormones/baby blues and I'm already terrified I will end up in a deep dark postpartum depression like I did with DS1....that was the darkest time in my life and I don't want to go there again!

[aylafsu1881]

I completely understand somesay . I feel a lot of emotional guilt. It seems like one of the girls is always crying and needing my attention when i am trying tospend time with the other.

Physically I feel great. This recovery has been much easier than my first. Maybe it is because I knew what to expect. Plus i also took the pain killers consistently the first couple of weeks home.

[coffee001]

This week has been ruff, between back to back doctor appointment, parent teacher conferences, two early days this week, ds1s first week back after fall brake, baby shower, basketball practice and games. I was trying to take the boys to the park because I also am feeling guilty they haven't been on any play dates or done anything "fun". So I planned a play date with there two best friends. After an hour of fighting all of them, I got to the drive way with 3 screaming kids and said why am I even going when everyone is screaming and clearly not in the mood. I saved my sanity and went back inside. I feel so bad now but mentally I just wasn't up for that. (I think they could tell and aren't either because they are upstairs playing quietly together now)

This recovery has been the hardest, getting better now but the hip pain and sciatica are driving me crazy. Still cramping on and off. I wish I had someone to babysit so I could just sleep and rest. That's the bummer of not having family around or close friends I miss that about ds1 being able to just take a nap with him and not worry about anything else.. Oh my how that's changed.

[peachey]

I am having the same guilt over E. We did send him to daycare this week, except today. The grandparents are here and are showering him with attention which is great.

Physically this time is so much easier then last time. So that is great, but I over did it a few times last week.

[Smootiepie]

I feel like I'm having a regression in terms of my c-section recovery. I was feeling pretty good at the beginning of the week, but have been getting sore again starting on Wednesday. It's just frustrating because I feel like I can't do everything I need to be doing to take care of DS. Doesn't help that DH goes back to work on Monday.

I also developed thrush last week, so I've been trying to heal from that. While I'm so thankful that DS is a pretty easy baby, I've been getting really emotional about the numerous feeding issues we've had. But I haven't cried in several days, so that's always a plus.

[link7913]

Lucy is exactly one month today.

Overall, I feel like I'm doing great. I feel so much more confident this time around, and she is overall a much easier baby so far.

I had a vaginal delivery with DD & csection with LO. The recovery has been much more difficult this time, and it is hard for me to not be able to go and do what I want physically. I've had trouble keeping up with DD, & I have also had some feelings of guilt about not getting to play with her like I did before LO.

[leopardgurl831]

We are having a hard time adjusting to 2. Mainly DS1 is having a really hard time. He now wants to nurse instead of play when he is home. He is also acting out and just crying. DS2 is super easy so I feed then try to give attention to DS1, but he's just not getting enough. We have brought him in late to daycare to give him extra time. My heartbreaks for him.

Tonight he came and sat in my lap then started throwing up. I'm worried it's because he's having a hard time and it's making him sick.

[ordinaryme]

I'm also having STM guilt. This week has been better because I've had my sister all week to help keep E entertained, but I'm scared for next week. I feel awful that she doesn't have my undivided attention anymore. When I'm nursing the baby she wants to sit in my lap, but I can't always hold her. It's hard finding a balance and adjusting to it all. We will find a good rhythm, but right now it's hard.
Physically I'm feeling excellent. Much better than last time. Emotionally I'm doing well to, except for the mommy guilt.

[MrsC0617]

Emotionally I'm better than I was a week ago, but I'm still crying daily because I'm feeling so overwhelmed. I keep thinking I'm doing everything wrong and I stress about my psycho MIL'a constant judgments. I also haven't had any alone time with DH, which is making me sad.

Physically I feel good. Even though I had a C section I feel better than I have in weeks. Post surgery is much less painful than the last few weeks of pregnancy.

[anastasia]

Same boat as everyone else. I love having two but feeling guilty over not being there for my DD. She came home Wednesday sick & had really needed me & sometimes I'm stuck nursing etc. She has done awesome with the new baby but I still get upset that I can't run to her when needed.

I hope we all find our new normal soon & these damn hormones ease up so I can stop looking like a crazy crying lady.

[kbrooke06]

I'm having a hard time with how sudden my pregnancy ended. Even with all the discomfort I was having, I was no where near being 'done'. I feel guilty when they struggle with feedings, when we have to keep buying preemie diapers, all the things that throw it back at me that they were supposed to be inside me still. I know that's not ratuonal, because duh, I can't control labor. But emtionally, I'm having a really hard time. I loved being pregnant. It was 8 years in the making and I'm so sad it's over. I cried so hard packing up my maternity clothes. My husband tries to help using logic, but hormones.

[mrsslick]

add me to the STM guilt club too.

[cnbpa3027]

Sending lots of hugs to all the moms with STM guilt! Even all these years later I still feel guilty about my two older ones having to split my attention. But truthfully, they mostly seem unphased by it! The balance is really hard in the beginning, but soon enough they adjust and don't even remember what it is like to not have a sibling. And now that mine are 3 & 5, they have each other and they love playing together. I think them having each other really helped yesterday when we brought the baby home from the hospital.

There will be lots of times when they both need attention and the key is to take a deep breath, work one on one with the one that needs you most and then move on to the other one.

I always feel guilty when they are driving me crazy and it took a while for me to be able to step back for a second and realize if they were really being that annoying, or if I just had a short temper that day. Once I was able to separate the two, things got a lot easier.

As for me, we just brought the baby home yesterday, so I feel like I am still running on a bit of adrenaline and it still feels kind of surreal to me. Top it off with all of the worry because my 3 year old still has a fever and I feel like while I am fine right now, I could very easily lose it at any minute. My husband has been needing to focus a lot of attention on my three year old to make sure she stays away from the baby, which leaves me to be doing this mostly by myself--not exactly the way I pictured it.

[katie0919]

Oct 23, 2015 21:05:31 GMT -5 youdontknowme said:

Add me to the STM guilt club. I am trying so hard to keep things normal but I feel like I am constantly getting after DS#1 for being too loud, too rough, too crazy, or for not listening etc.

He hasn't seemed jealous or anything of his new brother, but I fear it's coming.

This is us to a T. My poor ds1, I just feel like I'm reprimanding him for everything. He is so loud and crazy and bangs and throws toys around in the living room when baby is sleeping in there with us. It's just frustrating and I'm not handling it well!

[Squishy622]

I have been hesitant to share this but we're doing really well. Don't get me wrong, it's hard as hell, and our help is officially gone as of today. I think I feel great because I had such low expectations and so much fear going into this, so anything was bound to be better than what I expected it to be like?

I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I'm sure that it will. But for now, we're getting some stretches of sleep, I'm showering and getting out of the house pretty often, and I miss giving DD1 our undivided attention but we're all handling that pretty well too.

[stephy1221]

Another for the STM guilt club which in my case is somewhat irrational since I dropped her Pre K schedule from 5 days a week to 3 days a week while I am on LOA. I know even in those moments where I can't do what she wants because of LO I am still ahead of the game as far as time with her but it doesn't making it any easier when I can't do something she wants.

Anyone want to start the "feel like divorce club"? I swear my H was awesome until he went back to work and I guess because he went back to his normal routine he went back to his normal mind set. He is no help to me at all and I have had enough. I am fighting back tears on the daily now, especially when the exhaustion starts to kick in. I can't do it all and shouldn't be expected to.

Physically I feel pretty good. New mom aches and pains from lugging around the baby and gear as well as picking her up all day long. As far as my C section recovery though I am back to normal.

[leopardgurl831]

So I have to say that our first day all together alone as a family of 4 is going well. DS1 has only had 2 major meltdowns. I think he's feeling like he's getting more attention since he's home all day and it's just us. We still have some adjusting, but I didn't feel like we are just surviving. I actually had time to clean!

[flyoffeve]

This last week has been really hard. Last Saturday I started to develop a full-body rash. It itched like crazy. It started on my chest and arms, then over the next few days it spread to my legs and lower back. These days were also spent with headaches and a fever. I was either sweating or having the chills. I called the OB office on Tuesday and went in on Wednesday. It is some sort of reaction- no known allergies.

She gave me a pack of steroid pills and a cream. My headaches and fever were immediately gone on Thursday. The rash has been slowly going down starting with the areas where it began. I go back to see her next Thursday, hopefully it will be all better. I think it was a stress rash. I have gotten a body rash two times before when I was under too much stress.

It has made me very sad. I feel like I cannot hold the baby with all of this cream on me. I was e'pumping due to latching/frustration (mostly my frustration) issues. I had built up quite the supply keeping us ahead of meals with refrigerated stash and even had a freezer stash. Now we are giving formula for a few meals each day and even as a supplement to some BM meals. My supply plummeted while I was not feeling well. I was pumping 120-160 ml from both, now I celebrate if I get 80ml from both. Baby wants around 100 ml each meal, so I feel like I am never going to get back ahead. I have nothing in the freezer anymore. I baked Oatmeal cookies yesterday and those are good. I wonder if the supply will not come up until after I am done with the steroid pack (?). My boobs do not seem to be getting as big/full as before.

[aylafsu1881]

Oct 25, 2015 15:00:49 GMT -5 littlecabbage1019 said:

I am realizing that I have some serious anxiety about leaving the house with LO alone. I've been relying so much on mh to get her in the carrier and transport around. Driving her myself is so scary. Mh goes back to work tomorrow and I know I need to get over it so I don't become a recluse. I have an ob appt in a week and I'm already dreading it.

The first time out alone is the hardest, but you can do it. Pick a short trip and somewhere close. That way you can get home quick if you need to.

[lepeters]

I have been doing fairly well until today. I had accepted that LO was going to have to be formula fed because my milk never came in. I could pump maybe 90ml a day and he is eating that amount in one feeding. Well since I have stopped the domperidone (spelling?) my supply has dropped more. I even slowly weaned myself off of it. Now when I pump I get even less. It was depressing to see. I feel like I failed LO even though I know I shouldn't feel that way. It is just really hard. I had a good cry about it today. I think DH thinks I am nuts. He has been super supportive through it all though so that has been amazing. When I feel horrible about it he tries to make me feel better. Thanks for listening to my rant.

[Squishy622]

littlecabbage1019 The first time out is scary but each successive time gets easier! Once you rip off the band-aid that first time and see that it's not so bad, you'll be a pro in no time

Huge hugs lepeters, it's so obvious that you've done anything but failed with all of the love and hard work you've put in.