Expectant father may have reservations - do we submit bio?

[pamela]

We were contacted by our agency about a potential situation where the bio father says he would like to parent but supports adoption. Obviously we've asked for more info on that because our last one fell through after dad pushed mom to parent (emotionally abusive situation).

My number 1 priority is I don't want anyone placing a child that they don't really want to be placing. My second is putting our hearts out there again to have another placement fall through at the last minute.

Would you go ahead and submit your profile?

[pinkie]

This is tough. When do they expect to get more information? I would ask if the EF intends to try to parent or is it that he wishes he could parent but can't? Will he sign anything now or post birth?

If the EF really wants to parent and its money keeping him from doing so, he may find a way to improve his situation and elect to parent. In this case I would probably decline being shown.

[drl]

I would. He may be looking for the"right" family or is concerned about openness/contact

[jenn]

Ditto drl - If it were me, I would probably submit my profile.

[pamela]

I talked with their SW. Apparently he's suffered a lot of loss growing up without a father and feels /felt like this would be abandoning his child. The SW says they've discussed it a lot how this is making a plan that would allow him to be doing the opposite, maintaining a relationship and allowing the child to have both two parents (which he *really* wants for the child) and know his/her bio parents too.

The most recent discussions have been open about what parenting would be like and acknowledgement by mom and dad that it would be grandma mostly raising the child. While she has expressed willingness to help, she has also tried to ensure they are looking at it as what is best for the child and what losses he/she will feel either way.

[drl]

Thanks for the update. Good luck in whatever you decide