update: the coworker w nothing nice to say
Jan 29, 2015 13:35:57 GMT -5
Post by negams on Jan 29, 2015 13:35:57 GMT -5
You guys were so great at making me feel better when she made the snotty comment about me being in maternity clothes "way too early", I thought you might be able to tell me how to handle this situation. As a FTM this is way out of what I'm used to. So little bit of background, this chick is my equal in my lab (we're both in grad school) and we've been pretty close since day 1 (about 18 months into the program). The WHOLE TIME she's been baby crazy - always wanting to know about our boss's young son, begging them to bring him in, talking about all her nieces and nephews, the pregnancies and children for her friends and family. Something every day about babies. Ever since she made the comment about me, I've been paying more attention and I noticed something. If anyone (myself or our lab manager) brings up anything about ME (and only me, if it's someone else it's fair game) being pregnant she LITERALLY acts like she doesn't hear it, no matter how close she is or even if someone is directly asking her a question! (like doesn't even have a facial expression, it's almost creepy). So in her world, no one has said anything. She responds either by being uncomfortably silent or by (loudly) starting a new and completely unrelated topic of conversation. So now, not only can I not talk TO her about it (because I definitely am not getting "I'm happy for you" or "you look cute pregnant") but I can't talk to the lab manager about it either because she makes the whole room uncomfortable w her reactions! (or talks OVER me if I'm talking directly to the lab manager in an effort to switch the topic). So now I get to spend an hour a day MAYBE while I'm at work talking about my pregnancy and/or asking for advice/tips. And this hour will go away at the end of next week because the other girl's class ends for the semester. What the heck do I do?! I only moved here 18 months ago and it's hard enough to make friends as an adult in a new place. But now the only two people I was super close with I can't talk about my pregnancy with I guess I could use some advice but also some positive vibes.