Post by nextchapter24 on Jan 29, 2015 14:22:45 GMT -5
Hi all I came over from the other board. i posted occasionally. I was just wondering especially for those of you waiting how you feel when those around you ( good friends / family members) announce their pregnancies?
In the past two weeks we've had 5 of our good friends announce babies all to be born this summer/ fall. It's a bit overwhelming especially when we have no control. My husband is pretty rational thinking and leaves his emotions out of it as he figures we have a plan so we will eventually have a baby. Um ok sure. Trying tell things that to my emotions. sorry for the vent just looking to see if anyone else had any shared experience? TIA!
I feel sad sometimes when someone shares their happy news. In the real world when I get the news from people I actually know I feel numb.
I have noticed that there has always been one 100% exception to this... When someone here shares that they fought the battle and won. I have cried reading about others loss here as well.
Me 37 Hypothyroid DH 36 Low T 1/2012 NTNP 2/14/2014 RE DX MFI, SA Zero 8/15/2014 DH new SA 1 MILLION!!!!!! 11/20/2014 DH new SA 2 Million 2/15/2015 DH new SA 7 Million 7/15/2015 DH new SA at 9 Million. Donor search/Adoption. 10/5/2015 Home Study complete 1/7/2016 Pulled adoption Application, search for new agency 4/18/2016 ICI #1 (Donor)
Post by redandblue on Jan 29, 2015 17:16:47 GMT -5
I used to get really bothered by the news shared IRL. Generally I get upset depending on who the person is that has announced. I am feeling much more comfortable and settled with hearing these things, but I totally understand.
About a month after I had my ectopic we had about 4 people announce their pregnancies. That was brutal. delenire I understand your statement about feeling physically numb. It was definitely hard. I feel like our training is helping me to get excited as our adoption journey moves along. I don't know if I have fully accepted that we probably won't have biological children together (I still have the longing to carry another child), but I am feeling better to have a plan.
Me: 39 DH: 39 DS1 born Sept 1999 Married Nov 2010 TTC 2010 2011 BFP ended in ectopic RE Aug 2014. Unexplained infertility Sept 2014-Dec 2014 fermera/IUI/TI BFN's
August 16, 2015 baby Boy M is born and our hearts melt!
Post by theatrepal on Jan 29, 2015 18:23:25 GMT -5
I had to deal with this yesterday. It hurts. It hurts even more when it's someone who has said in the past (in this case just in July) that they aren't sure about kids and don't think they are ready for them. Married a year in September and boom telling everyone in January they're pregnant. In this case, it probably doesn't help that the first anniversary of our miscarriage and end of our TTC journey is right around the corner.
I try to say congrats and move on. I'm sure that sometime my reaction isn't appreciated and is probably looked down upon. You've got to do what's best for you. I've finally come to the realization that unless you've had a loss and/or struggled through infertility you just won't ever understand that your excitement can cause someone else immense pain. I let myself feel the emotions and then try to remember that my day to be a Mom of a child here on earth will come. We've moved on from "if we will be parents" to "when well will be parents" and there is something very powerful in that shift in thinking!
Post by nextchapter24 on Jan 29, 2015 23:42:54 GMT -5
OP here sorry for the post and run. Thank you all for your responses I really appreciate them. Theater pal- I am dealing with a few similar situations like you mentioned of people previously not wanting babies and then bam! Or only being together a little while. I guess I have to just trust like my husband does that we will be parents but it can be so frustrating.
Post by gnomesweetgnome on Jan 30, 2015 13:11:56 GMT -5
I'm pretty much past the point of being sad or upset when others announce their pregnancies, but I still really wish to become pregnant and experience that one day. It is a hard place to be. I love B and am so glad that our path brought him to us, but those urges haven't gone away just because we are parenting now.
It depends somewhat on the person and circumstances. I've gotten pretty good and not connecting my fertility status with others. I had a meltdown over one announcement though.
Post by nextchapter24 on Feb 6, 2015 12:29:44 GMT -5
Thanks everyone for your posts! I thought I was doing pretty well, but I think it was the five announcements that all hit within such a short period. I felt like I couldn't catch my breath and someone was surprising us with another announcement. I am better when I found out via technology so I can take my time and respond, but most were just in the moment.
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