That's some funny sh!t

[queenbabee]

One perk of being a SAHM is that you rarely miss the funny stuff your kids say & do. My baby is still only 4 months, so he's not saying a whole lot yet, and I'm so impatient.

Give me all your funnies!! I just love the crap these kids come up with.

[mrslka]

Today DS1 farted this is how the convo went

Me: " please say excuse me"
DS1: "but it wasn't me"
Me: " then who was it?" He normally blames DS2 or the dog
DS1: "it was sister"
Me: "but she is still in my belly, how did you hear her fart?"
DS1: "it was a really big one, it must have really hurt"

[queenbabee]

So I work in pediatrics and hear some super funny stuff from the kids! One of my faves:
6 y/o comes in with his parents with a broken arm & needs referral to orthopedic office.

Me: So what happened to your arm?
Parents: go ahead, tell her what you did.
Boy: I was jumping off the table so I could fly and the chair got in my way, so I fell.
Parents: eye roll/face palm
Me: so what you are telling me is, you can fly and would have, but the chair was in your way so you couldn't and fell and broke your arm?....
Boy: THANK YOU! That's what I have been trying to explain THE WHOLE TIME....nobody else understands me (good arm waving around in exclamation)!

Lol!!! Me: I'm sure your parents understand, but no more flying until your older.

And today a 4 y/o (almost 5) when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up :
boy: pink eye. My dad says its a very prestigious profession.
Dad: I said its a contagious infection!

[la79al]

This morning when we were getting ready to leave to drop off at school, DD2 informed me "you better come up with a plan B because that back door is locked and I can't unlock it".  

[queenbabee]

Jan 29, 2015 21:11:30 GMT -5 la79al said:

This morning when we were getting ready to leave to drop off at school, DD2 informed me "you better come up with a plan B because that back door is locked and I can't unlock it".  

Bahahahaha! How'd that turn out?

[isolemnlyswear]

My nephew is almost four and his conversation went like this the other day:


Him: "Daddy, what's your real, full name. I know it isn't Parker.

Dad: it's Wayne. Wayne Parker.

Him: I have an idea daddy...

Dad: yeah?

Him: We should change your name.


He's such a peach sometimes

[la79al]

Jan 29, 2015 21:12:23 GMT -5 queenbabee said:

Jan 29, 2015 21:11:30 GMT -5 la79al said:

This morning when we were getting ready to leave to drop off at school, DD2 informed me "you better come up with a plan B because that back door is locked and I can't unlock it".  

Bahahahaha! How'd that turn out?

It just gets stuck on random days, funny because it's a screen door that we don't intentionally lock.  

That girl makes me laugh all the time though.  The other day we were driving in the van to DHs college to take care of some stuff.  DD2 has for the longest time, played this game where she yells duck if she sees an underpass and we are supposed to duck our heads.  Well she didn't yell duck fast enough so she ducked but I didn't make it.  She informed me that I still got a prize and handed me her "modey apple".  She told me she got the juicy lemon because she actually ducked for both of us.  On the way home I was quite upset with the staff that I dealt with at the college.  DD2 asks me what I am doing. I tell her driving the van.  She asks me why I'm not eating my "modey apple" that I won because she is eating her juicy lemon and it is yummy in her tummy.  How can I even be grouchy after that?!?!?

[snarkysparklefart]

DD is starting to say certain funny phrases- she recently picked up 'sadly mistaken' from me- now she tells me that 'sadly, x can't do y and its mistaken'.

Most recently, she was painting a wooden craft birdhouse, and told me "sadly, the roof won't open so any bird who comes in will be mistaken."

[sugarkissed]

DD doesn't talk yet, but I'm currently babysitting a 6 year old boy and he's describing each classmate as he points them out in the class photo.

"This is _____. When he grows up, he's going to be black." Alright then... haha.

[thechickencoop]

DS was pushing his little vacuum around the other day telling me he was 'vacuuming up all the crap on the floor' lol.

Also, a sweet one - this is his first week at daycare part-time and yesterday driving home we have this conversation:
Me: DS, did you make any new friends today?
DS: No. I did not.
Me: There was no one there that you really like?
DS: I really like you, Mommy.
::melt::

[queenbabee]

Jan 29, 2015 22:26:27 GMT -5 thechickencoop said:

DS was pushing his little vacuum around the other day telling me he was 'vacuuming up all the crap on the floor' lol.

Also, a sweet one - this is his first week at daycare part-time and yesterday driving home we have this conversation:
Me: DS, did you make any new friends today?
DS: No. I did not.
Me: There was no one there that you really like?
DS: I really like you, Mommy.
::melt::

Can I double love tit this please?! Melting too!

[namastebiotches]

After he burps, DS says his version of excuse me which sounds a lot like "sue me."

[caybeh]

DS: TV, turn on another episode.
DH: The TV can't hear you bud.
DS: Yes it can! (as Netflix automatically starts the next episode)

[queenbabee]

Jan 30, 2015 11:04:48 GMT -5 caybeh said:

DS: TV, turn on another episode.
DH: The TV can't hear you bud.
DS: Yes it can! (as Netflix automatically starts the next episode)

Awesome:)

[lavendergiraffes]

I love these! One of the things I miss about teaching Kindergarten - the things they say.

S isn't talking yet but she's a goofball for sure. Can't wait to hear what comes out of her mouth when she starts talking.

[beckyrosen]

When DS was maybe two he was laying in bed with me and he farted. I told him he shouldn't fart in mommy's bed... he said "my didn't fart, my butt was angry and it was letting out its anger"

[littlefoot]

DD doesn't speak in conversations yet and although she does some funny things, I can't think of any right now.

However, I was a nanny to many families over the years. Once, a little boy had drawn all over the hanging mirrors in the hallway with a marker.
When I found it, I called him over and asked "What is this?" and he replied "an elephant". It took everything I had not to laugh and be stern.