Fur babies - when is it time to let go?

[draeray]

I have a cat that is 16. She was given to me in highschool and had been with me half my life.

She is starting to deteriorate. She is getting really really skinny, she is incontinent (she is now peeing and pooping on pee pads and not even attempting to go in her box). She isn't grooming herself anymore. BUT she is still eating and drinking and getting around the house. She still purrs and wants attention.

I called the vet in tears asking when the right time is. Of course she said what I feel is best which didn't help. She said major signs like eating and drinking or not getting around but she is doing those.

I have no idea if she had any quality of life left or if she is miserable. I don't want to give up on her because she is old but I don't want her to suffer. ...

I need help. I can't do this. I wish the old bag would die peacefully in her sleep and not make me make that decision for her.

[sjames2015]

I'm sooo sorry draeray. I hate trying to make that decision.

[puck1182]

Ugh, I am so sorry. :-(

I do think the vet gave you good guidance though. If she's still eating, peeing, pooping, and getting around without too much trouble, my personal inclination would be to hold off on putting her down, especially if, as you said, she's still purring and wanting attention. I feel like that last part particularly indicates that she is still enjoying her bond with you.

Last summer my family had to put down the cat we'd had since I was 16 as well. She had started experiencing renal failure and had lost a lot of weight, but was still doing all of the stuff above, even tearing around the house like a maniac on a fairly regular basis. It wasn't until her physical activity decreased significantly and she started actually acting sick that we felt it was time.

I think when the time is right, she will let you know. Our pets may not be able to talk, but they can still communicate with us. I've had to make this decision 4 times now (two rats, one dog, and one cat) and it never gets any easier. Sending you lots of hugs!

[laketide]

Jan 29, 2015 19:37:53 GMT -5 puck1182 said:

Ugh, I am so sorry. :-(

I do think the vet gave you good guidance though. If she's still eating, peeing, pooping, and getting around without too much trouble, my personal inclination would be to hold off on putting her down, especially if, as you said, she's still purring and wanting attention. I feel like that last part particularly indicates that she is still enjoying her bond with you.

Last summer my family had to put down the cat we'd had since I was 16 as well. She had started experiencing renal failure and had lost a lot of weight, but was still doing all of the stuff above, even tearing around the house like a maniac on a fairly regular basis. It wasn't until her physical activity decreased significantly and she started actually acting sick that we felt it was time.

I think when the time is right, she will let you know. Our pets may not be able to talk, but they can still communicate with us. I've had to make this decision 4 times now (two rats, one dog, and one cat) and it never gets any easier. Sending you lots of hugs!

Agree with all of this. I'm sorry you are going through this - I've been there and it's incredibly hard.

[summer]

Agree with all of the above. You know your pet and you know if she is unhappy. It sounds like she is not, so if it were me, I would hold off until it was more clear she was unhappy.

[rosebean]

I totally understand how you feel. We got our dog Morgan when I was 12. He was the best dog I have ever had, and he lived until he was almost 16. One day, his back legs just started giving out on him. He got so he couldn't walk, couldn't control his bladder or bowls, and I hung on to him for three weeks as things got progressively worse. We tried a few different options, but in the end, he was ready to go. You could see it in his face.

I miss him so very much. I remember being so upset about losing him, it took me a month to stop crying over him and I was grinding my teeth from the stress of what we went through with him. But if your cat is still getting around, getting attention, eating and is making and effort to go on pee pads (like, not just peeing and pooping while laying there), I'd say you still have some time.

[tulips114]

Nothing to add to the advice above, but just ((hugs)).

[singingsea]

Are there any pain meds they can give her to improve her quality of life? When my 18 year old cat had cancer they gave us liquid pain medication that helped her immensely. She was eating, drinking, getting around, purring, wanting affection. She ended up passing away in her sleep but I think it made her last days more happy.

Hugs to you. Losing a pet is hard. My current kitty is pushing 13 so we're about to go through it all again in the next five years.

[2moms2be]

I am so sorry we just had to make the decision about my baby girl (boxer dog) about 6 months ago and it was so hard. She was only 6 and had cancer. I say as long as they want attention and are eating and drinking and not in noticeable pain then quality is still there. With Lu we just woke up one day and knew it was time and there was no question left around it.

Big hugs as this is never easy as they are such a big part of our families.

[kleigh926]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I also agree that if it seems like there's still quality of life, she is eating/drinking, and at least making it to the pads then I'd probably hold off. We had to put our 4-year-old lab down almost a year ago, not because of a physical illness, but because she was born with fear and aggression. She started growling at and ultimately bit DD. It was extremely traumatic for us- but that was mostly because of the fact that she was so young and physically strong yet, and because DH's family was very hurtful and did not support our decision at all.

[ally2011]

My parents just had to put down their 13 year old lab.  He was also still eating and drinking fine but he had a serious breathing condition that was getting worse and worse....and had a couple of attacks and just common things like someone coming over would get him very worked up as far as his breathing.  My mom was terrified that he was going to have an attack that would not be able to be stopped and he would suffer as he passed.  This did happen to my sil's dog who had the same thing.  She wanted to be sure that he did not suffer and kept his dignity.  It was an extremely difficult decision, but absolutely the right one.  The vet said she had seen when people waited too long and it was not pretty.  She came to their house and I was with them.  It was incredibly peaceful and kind.  

We waited too long on a cat that had FIV and it was pitiful.  The final night he was falling over and just so sick.  I should not have let it get to that and felt terrible.  

What I will say about your situation is that first of all, you sound like a wonderful pet owner and I am incredibly sorry you are going through this.  It is so hard but it comes with the territory of loving animals.  One thing that struck me about what you shared is that cats are typically very clean animals.  The fact that she is going to the bathroom on pads and not grooming makes me wonder how she might be feeling in general.  Some animals don't stop eating and drinking until much later but that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't ready to go.

In the end, you know your cat the best.  If she seems to be doing ok and happy, then I don't think you need to rush.  If she seems off and you are not sure that she has an quality of life left then it is something to maybe at least go ahead and make a plan for with your vet.  Some vets will come to your home or see you after hours.  Talk through the options now and know what you want to do so that when the time does come you won't have to figure that stuff out under stress.

Huge hugs, I am so very sorry.  I have a 14 year old cat that I got in college and understand.  Pets are our family!  

[draeray]

If you have ever seen Pet Cemetery, here is my scraggly kitty that looks more like 'Church' now that she is so old
Lol. She never comes down stairs and she doesn't cuddle so this was a very rate occasion . I haven't gotten a picture with her for years!

Thanks for all the kind words.

[draeray]

[holly321]

I am sorry you are going through this. We just had a dog pass that we were trying to decide what to do.