Open Letter Thread - -

[yalllow]

Saw this on Working Mom's thread as a weekly theme....
example:


Dear ________ ((source of your irritation or frustration))

Could you leave the seat up one more time on the toilet so I can have a makeshift bidet? Thaaaaanks.....

Sincerely,
Your Spouse


It's like a creative way to verbalize your FFFC or UO


Let's try it. 

And a gif to get you started:



who doesn't love Forrest anyways?

[yalllow]

Dear Mother Fuckers at the Store:



Return your carts to the return. Were you raised in a barn or on Mountain Dew as an infant?
You are ruining the human race.
I hate you.

Love,
Yalllow

[kewii]

Dear ice cream,

Stop being so delicious. You're making it really hard to eat healthy.

From,
Mom who wants to be a MILF

[bennieangel]

Dear Unknown Company,

Please hire me to do something kick ass & interesting...I'm bored to death here.

Dear Psyche,

Please figure out what you should be when you grow up.

Thanks,
Needs a new job ASAP

[lincbeesmom]

Dear LO,

Please learn how to sleep without me right next to you so I can sex up your father. If you could do that, that would be greeeeat. Thanks.

Love,

Your lovin' deprived mama

[younglove316]

Dear DH,
No I do not want to go light shopping with you. If it's anything like last time we will pick some out and they will sit in the garage, going on 5 months now and the others still aren't hung up.
Love,
Your sick of clutter wife

Dear LO,
Please I am begging you, please learn to nap in your crib. I would love to have the time to get cleaning and stuff down.
Love,
Your feeling behind mama

[northernlghts]

Dear LO,

5am is not an acceptable wakeup time, especially when mommy's alarm goes off at 6. Please go back to being good about staying asleep longer in your crib and not in our bed.

Thanks sweet pea.

[bebeski]

Dear LO,
I am tired of hearing from other mom friends how well their babies sleep. I knew from the beginning you were a horrible sleeper and 10.5 months of doing this is getting to be a little exhausting. Please don't ever wake up every hour ever.again. Like you did last night. It makes me have an awful mood where all I want to do is eat chips/chocolate/cookies etc.

Please please please!

[bennieangel]

bebeski - I'm convinced a lot of people lie, or forget. I find it hard to believe that of all the people I know with babies IRL we're the only ones who struggled with sleep at any point in time.

[Deleted]

Dear life,
Settle the fuck down.

Dear UPS
Please let our route be in the beginning part of your day. Not the end. I want my mother fucking broom!

[pinecone21]

Jan 30, 2015 10:38:53 GMT -5 bennieangel said:

bebeski - I'm convinced a lot of people lie, or forget. I find it hard to believe that of all the people I know with babies IRL we're the only ones who struggled with sleep at any point in time.

This. My mom is wondering why my sister's 2-month-old isn't sleeping through the night. She's convinced that my baby was, even though I know I was up 2-3 times per night at that point. Shit, I'm still up at least once a night now. So I guess my letter is:

Dear mom,

Back off of my sister. You're making her neurotic. Just because you say something happened 8 months ago with my baby doesn't make it true.

Love,
Your other daughter with a non-perfect baby

[lincbeesmom]

Fyi we used to have open letter Saturdays on tb but I think someone (redwine410?) said they didn't like the format and it kind of died off.

I missed it!

[kaitkat]

Jan 30, 2015 10:38:53 GMT -5 bennieangel said:

bebeski - I'm convinced a lot of people lie, or forget. I find it hard to believe that of all the people I know with babies IRL we're the only ones who struggled with sleep at any point in time.

I totally agree with this! It seemed like everyone we knew had babies sleeping like perfect Angels! My kid doesn't like sleep lol has been a bad sleeper since day one we are back to one wake up a night and that's good for me.

dear home builder, 

if if you could hurry up and get us into our house early that would be perfect!! 

Dear dh, 

thank you for the incredibly thoughtful anniversary gift. I love you more than you know! 

Dear dog, 

stop barking, no one is coming to get you or the baby chill out!! 

[redwine410]

Jan 30, 2015 13:05:20 GMT -5 lincbeesmom said:

Fyi we used to have open letter Saturdays on tb but I think someone (redwine410?) said they didn't like the format and it kind of died off.

I missed it!

Not me! I used to love open letter Saturday. Haha

[redwine410]

Dear LOs birthday party,

You better be fun. Planning you has been super stressful.

Signed

Overly stressed out Momma




Dear WAHM jobs.

Where the hell are you and why are you not in my life? I need you. I'd be good to you. Please let me find you!

Signed

Tired of only seeing my daughter two hours a day

[lincbeesmom]

Sorry redwine410, I don't remember who it was.

[redwine410]

Jan 30, 2015 13:27:01 GMT -5 lincbeesmom said:

Sorry redwine410, I don't remember who it was.

No worries!!

[meggsm]

Dear people who don't shovel their walks,

I know I have a kick ass stroller that can take all terrain pretty well, but for pity's sake, shovel your walks so ice doesn't build up under the snow. I know that shovelling sucks but if you don't like it hire someone to clear it or move somewhere it doesn't snow. This is southern ontario people, It snows, deal with it.

Signed mum who slipped last year while pregnant and almost wiped out today with my baby in the stroller.

Dear greys anatomy on netflix,

Stop being so addicting! I cannot get anything done around the house.

[orriskitten]

Dear Icelandic Postal Service,

I had a package shipped to me in early December. It still has not arrived. It had the My First Christmas jammies for my son (which he will no longer fit it) and a bunch of other stuff. I cleverly shipped to my friend in NY, paid myself and had her package it all as gifts to avoid the additional 35% tax you charge.

I will pay the taxes if you tell me where it is. It also has: DD's Christmas jammies and some presents for her. Sheets for my bed. Much needed sleep sacks. And a few actual gifts.

Sincerely,
I want my fucking package!

[linzerd]

Dear motherfucker who stole my debit card info and $500 from my bank account,

I don't even give a shit about the money, because I know Bank of America will give it back. What I care about is the fact that I had to cancel my card which now means that you fucked up my Warehouse ticket request for my 40th fucking Dave show. I now have to email the Warehouse and beg them to change my payment info. You dirty, spineless, and also definitely tiny penised, piece of trash. The reason I know you have a penis and that it is a tiny one is because you spent my money on some online gaming website. Idk dude, I just doubt it was a chick. Anyway, I only hope that your life never changes and you stay some loser fuck, with no one in your life to give any fucks about.

Signed,
A very, very pissed off yet dedicated DMB fan.

[RandomName]

Dear LO,
It's Saturday. We don't have to get up at 6 am so please learn to sleep in.
Love,
Your tired mom who went to bed WAY to late last night

[jjsmom80]

Dear Husband,

Its really great when I come home from work at 10 pm at night after working a 14 hour day and you are in your office playing videos games and the house looks like a tornado hit it. I really appreciate that you take care of the baby so well and he is happy, but when he goes to bed at 7, do you think you might be able to pick up a few things and possibly put his poppy diaper that you changed 3 hours ago in the trash instead of leaving it on my dining room table? I loved the video of the baby learning how to tip up his sippy cup for the first time last night, but it would be great if you could have put said sippy cup covered in last nights dinner anywhere other than on the floor for the dog to lick. And those dishes that you used to cook your sefl dinner last night? Anywhere but the kitchen counter would have been a great place to put them.

Thanks,

Your loving (overworked) wife

[yalllow]

Dear Work:

I hate you. I'm not really sure what all this college education is for.

Also ATTN: condo association

I pay you $ 50.00 a month to shovel my sidewalk. You haven't been by once. You're fired.

Dear Puppy:

If you want your teeth I suggest you stop chewing up my kids underwear.

Sincerely,

Yalllow

[sanibel21]

Dear sleep,
Where the hell were you last night? You know I need you more than I need air to breathe. You better return tonight.
Sincerely,
Too tired to think of a clever name