What's the best TTC advice or support you've received?

[pinkcat]

Good Morning everyone!

We often commiserate with each other about the terrible advice we hear from people when discussing TTC. (Just relax and it will happen! Everything happens for a reason!) I thought it would be interesting to switch things up- what's the BEST advice you've heard or support you've received? Whether here on the board, from someone in IRL, something you read...

Or, what's something you've learned while TTC that you'd like to share with the class?

[Deleted]

It was suggested to me, over 18 years ago, to read Taking Charge Of Your Fertility by a midwife. I heartily agree that is the best advice possible.

[doodler]

One of my best friends had a long IF journey. When I told her we were TTC I got a package in the mail a few days later. It had a BBT, OPK's, and HPT's. She is the best!

[pinkcat]

All of the good advice I've had has come from you ladies here on the board. Some things that have really helped me over the past 9 months:

- Your body is normal, until it's not.
- When you're temping, it's about looking for overall patterns. Don't focus on single temps as they don't mean much.
-You can have a triphasic chart without being pregnant. You can be pregnant without having a triphasic chart. You can have charts that look like they have implantation dips without being pregnant, or vice versa. Don't stress or try to over analyze your chart too much (easier said than done, but great advice!)

[Deleted]

The best piece of advice that I have received is to ask questions if you have them. Be a strong advocate with your doctors. If something doesn't sound right, say something.

[mrsjene]

Some of the best support I've received is from a very close friend who also went through IVF. All she said was, "You are strong and you are brave." When I'm feeling down, I remember that.

[Deleted]

Dec 1, 2015 8:34:40 GMT -5 doodler said:

One of my best friends had a long IF journey. When I told her we were TTC I got a package in the mail a few days later. It had a BBT, OPK's, and HPT's. She is the best!

PepperPottsJ sent me a similar package. I greatly appreciated it.

[singingsea]

My best friend has been really supportive. She's not TTC or has any plans to but she lets me whine, cry, whatever I need to do. I think the best thing about her is she doesn't offer advice.

There's a Jim Morrison quote I really love.

"A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he(she) really is."

Edit: This is also the friend who stayed with me and watched DS while I was miscarrying until my husband got home. I love this girl to pieces.

[PepperPottsJ]

@wallflwr926 invited me here

[wannabmama]

My friend, who has never struggled with IF but has been amazing helping me deal, said: don't feel guilty about the time off work for treatments or being distracted from life because of all you're going through. If you had another illness that needed a lot of treatment, you would go without feeling guilty and people around you would understand. Just because for some reason we don't talk about IF like other medical conditions doesn't mean it is less important to someone going through it.
It helps me a lot bc I have all kinds of guilt and stress associated with scheduling everything and getting it all done without my office knowing what's up.

[butlerfan]

You only have to hit one day of your fertile window not everyday to have a chance. Don't overanalyze your chart-you can have the "prettiest" chart and it still could mean nothing.

[goldenlove3]

My biggest support has been from a friend who had no issue getting pregnant but is OAD. Maybe it's because I don't have to fear a surprise announcement from her but she's been great to talk to. She was the first one I talked to about seeing an RE, she helped me with my very first trigger shot that I had to do at a wedding and was one of the first people to find out about our ectopic. And when the couple who got married announced they were pregnant, I had to go outside to take a breather. She immediately came out, gave me a huge hug and brought me a shot of vodka.

[notagoddess]

Read TCOYF. Use FF.

Don't focus on individual temps/signs but rather the overall pattern.

Don't let TTC sex kill your sex life.

[emilie]

I think the best advice I've received is some version of "don't sweat the small stuff". Like how symptom spotting is a waste of time and energy. Or how that cup of coffee or glass of wine is not going to be the thing that doesn't get you pregnant.

[ohinvrtedworld]

This might not really be considered TTC support, but I think the best thing for me is being left alone about my family planning. I love my MIL for saying at the very beginning of my marriage, "I will NEVER bother you about having kids. You guys do whatever you want."

I really love when people don't pry or hint that they expect anything from you!

[ghostmonkey]

"If you are going to tell people what you are going through, be ready to hear some of the dumbest shit you will ever hear unless you make it clear you don't want their advice. And they'll probably still run their mouth anyway." I love my aunt. She and my uncle went through testing & treatments back in 70's (so dark ages compared to now.

Had multiple people tell me to just take Clomid and it will happen right away. It did for them! (this was after my Clomid cycle where my Dr suggested I not ever take it again). This groups includes someone that ended up with triplets from unmonitored Clomid.

[teachermomtobe]

Like others have said, it's not so much what people have said but the people who just listen to me and support me without offering advice.

Another friend went through IVF and when I told her I found out a friend was pregnant on the same day I found out I was not, her response to me was: "Remember it's totally ok to be happy for her but sad for you. And sometimes the sad for you FAR outweighs the happy for her. And that is OKAY."

[mosdub]

Honestly I have received no helpful ttc advice from people outside of this forum. You all rock!

Fertility Friend and the GKU blog helped a lot. I think what I found most helpful was that it can take up to a year for a healthy couple, and that each month even with perfect timing your chances of conception are 20% or so. I definitely was one of the people thinking if we stopped contraception it would just happen right away.

[LadyNymeria]

Dec 2, 2015 14:54:15 GMT -5 ohinvrtedworld said:

This might not really be considered TTC support, but I think the best thing for me is being left alone about my family planning. I love my MIL for saying at the very beginning of my marriage, "I will NEVER bother you about having kids. You guys do whatever you want."

I really love when people don't pry or hint that they expect anything from you!

My MIL also made a comment not long after we got married that she would never ask about our plans for kids because it's a personal thing and none of her business. I love that I don't have to worry about that question coming up over their house for dinner.