Those who lost their mojo

[spencer1337]

So I'm just going to jump In here, but my sex drive is non existent. I was hoping it would come back after my DD2 (20 months). I was trying the whole just do it and you'll get into it thing, but that didn't work for me. My DH is being very patient and understanding, but we're down to maybe once a week. If any if you have dealt with this, how did you resolve it? Was it from a hormone imbalance, or just stress?

[socomama]

Yeah, I was going to say that once a week is about our average too, and seems to be on par with a 9 year relationship/young child/DH's long working hours.

[cheshirecat]

We are at 1-2 times a week. Just too damn tired.

[Deleted]

Yeah, I read smutty stuff. We are lucky if it's twice a month.

[Deleted]

2 times a week here is a good week. I like all of @pobrecita suggestions

[harvestmoon]

It took longer than 20 months for me to feel the same drive I did before DD.

Do you do much/a lot of foreplay?

I still like to get revved up on my own first sometimes... Like pobrecita said watch something with a sex scene, or sometimes I read lite.roti.ca. dot com - it's reader submissions so writing quality varies but it's a safe site to visit without getting a virus or weird pop ups.

[lucilleaustero]

Once a week has not happened here in a looong time. I have a 5 month old that is EBF, so I have no drive. I am faking it until I make it, as these lovely ladies advised when I posted about this on the dump.

[mischief]

We are at like 3 times a month. With a beej or two thrown in there.

I second Pobre. I also read smut or watch a short porn video or fan made Doctor Who vids. H and I also take showers together. And sometimes only doing foreplay and then going to bed revs me up for the next day. Or foreplay through out the day, like text or emails or phone calls. Just like a tease and it makes me want it more.

[spencer1337]

I should have specified that the one time a week is me faking it til I make it. It is a sharp decline form before, but it seems like that is average. My DH has a very high sex drive, and I used to too, so I'm not sure how we'll a this is the new norm talk will go. Any talking points?

P.s. I realized that made him sound like an unsupported douche, he's not, just a horny teenager in a 30 yrs old body

[spencer1337]

But I agree on the watching something, or getting myself going first. It just takes a lot to do that lately.

[spencer1337]

I enjoy it in the sense that it feels good, but TMI, I have hard a really hard time reaching orgasm since DD2. So eve though it feels good, I know I probably won't get off, which is kind of a mood killer

[redbears]

Booze and porn

[socomama]

spencer1337, do you have lube and toys? I don't think it's TMI to share you have a hard time reaching the big O. I was the same way- so hit and miss. We got a toy, and although 75% of the time we don't need to use it, it's nice (for me) to know I have a guaranteed back-up.

[hedgehog]

Mine is still missing.

I'll blame Mirena, but with nothing to back that up.

[msdrdg]

DH is lucky if we do it once a month. DS is 4 and I still have zero drive.
Reading/watching something sorta smutty helps.

[spencer1337]

Jan 30, 2015 20:01:30 GMT -5 socomama said:

spencer1337, do you have lube and toys? I don't think it's TMI to share you have a hard time reaching the big O. I was the same way- so hit and miss. We got a toy, and although 75% of the time we don't need to use it, it's nice (for me) to know I have a guaranteed back-up.

I do have both. And use both. The toy will definitely get me off, but only iF I'm doing it. I've tried coaching him in how to use it on me and it's not his strong suit. So I will pull it out if all else gails, but it's starting to hurt his ego that I have to use it so much.

[spencer1337]

Jan 30, 2015 20:23:26 GMT -5 @pobrecita said:

We bought some toys. Those helped. Especially a c ring with a vibrator.

We have just about every toy imaginable, cock rings, even some bond age stuff. its fun, but I don't think about it and get all hot and bothered. idk I think I'm just broken. Lol. Maybe it will come back by the time the kids move out...

[Rach7170]

I read smut and we have been scheduling alone time on Wednesday's. Most of the time we are cuddling and kissing which leads to sex. Sometimes we don't have sex. The closeness has been helping either way. The alone time has also let us reconnect enough that I'm up to initiating again. We are up to once a week on average now

[spartanchick88]

I mentioned that to my doc at one point and she gave me an estrogen cream, which totally helped. Stupid bodies getting all messed up and stuff.

[tonsilhockey]

Our frequency ebbs and flows, but feeling rested and getting in the mood is a big part of it.

[oldwheeze]

I had no mojo from conception to 6 months pp. Slowly I am becoming interested and not feeling like it's a chore.
For the longest sex just didn't feel good either.

I have a lace teddy that snaps at the crotch. TMI? It makes me feel confidant bc I feel super unsexy in my new stretched mom body.

Wine is my friend for loosening up.

[soxgirl07]

I know what you mean about the feeling good, but not being able to O. When I think I'm not going to O just from sex, I kind of get into my own head and make it worse. I know it's hard advice to follow, but try to relax and enjoy more and it might help? I feel like some ladies here have read a book about being able to orgasm every time... I don't know the name, maybe some one else does and can come in?

[Emmentaler]

As others have said, 1 x a week isn't uncommon, so at least you know you aren't alone. DS is 16 months and we are still nowhere near having as much sex as we used to. A big part of it is because I hate the way I look. I'm working on it. Plus I get myself I the mood. Try doing something for yourself. I think you got some great advice - good luck!