Post by frecklesnbrains on Dec 8, 2015 18:55:55 GMT -5
Dreaming, I'm happy to hear it was all okay in the end but I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It must have been terrifying! *hugs* And yes, eat lots of chocolate.
Dreaming I'm so sorry for the scare! Was that your first scan? What a roller coaster - I like when you can have a scan and they spot it before you see the scary effects that happen.
All aside, I'm glad you and baby are okay - enjoy that chocolate!
Hi ladies. I had a roller coaster of an afternoon. I went to the bathroom only to start gushing red blood and clots. I freaked out, cried, then called my doctor and DH. I was able to get into my doctors office and everything is okay with the baby!!! It turns out that I have a subchorionic hemorrhage. Apparently they are somewhat common and don't cause harm to the baby. I'm home resting now and eating all of the chocolate (next best thing to wine).
How scary! I have them also. One has since resolved and one has shrunk. I hope yours do the same.
I'm so behind on TCF today! Work was crazy. I'm finally getting to sit down and exhale after going non-stop since 7:30 this morning. I'm exhausted. I don't know if I can keep this up throughout my pregnancy.
Post by virginiaorjohn on Dec 8, 2015 20:32:56 GMT -5
Dreaming I am so sorry about your SCH! I had one around 6-8 weeks. Did they put you on modified activity or anything? I'm so glad you were able to get in today to see the baby was okay!
Dreaming glad to hear that things are ok. My spotting returned today. I was in surgery for eight hours with not a ton a of water. Same as last week. So I just need to relax tonight.
Hi ladies. I had a roller coaster of an afternoon. I went to the bathroom only to start gushing red blood and clots. I freaked out, cried, then called my doctor and DH. I was able to get into my doctors office and everything is okay with the baby!!! It turns out that I have a subchorionic hemorrhage. Apparently they are somewhat common and don't cause harm to the baby. I'm home resting now and eating all of the chocolate (next best thing to wine).
Oh my gosh! So sorry. I'm so glad all is ok and that they were able to get you in!
TRIGGER WARNING. (SOMEONE ELSE'S) LOSS MENTIONED \ \ \ \ \ \ \ I'm having a very difficult day. I learned today that a former co-worker's child passed away last weekend of meningitis. He was 12 months. I've been in a daze all day since learning of his passing. I don't understand how this could happen. I'm not extremely close with my former coworker, but we worked together for 2 years and got along well. We were the only two female attorneys in a male dominated law firm, and bonded over that. She gave birth last December, and I got a new job and left a few weeks into her maternity leave. My former secretary contacted me today to deliver the bad news and I'm just so sad. I sent her and her husband flowers and I want to go to the funeral. DH doesn't want me to go because he think it'll upset me too much. I agree that it might be too much to handle right now, but I feel like I should pay my respects. She does not know that I'm pregnant, and it is not so noticeable that she would pick up on it during the funeral, so I'm not concerned about my pregnancy upsetting her. I just don't know if I can hold it together. I called my pastor today who prayed with me and DH over the phone. We prayed for my coworker and her husband and for peace and understanding, but I just don't understand this. I called my mom (who works in a medical related field) to try to get her to explain how this could happen. I guess I'm seeking an answer or an explanation that doest exist. It's just not fair. I don't know how to process this. And I can't stop crying.
Someone help me feel like I am not the worst wife in history.
My husband goes to this 3 day concert every year with his brother and some friends. They drink a ton and have a man weekend, and I enjoy my peace and quiet
This year the concert is May 6-8, and I vetoed it. I am a FTM, and being a month from my due date makes me nervous. Having my husband gone and probably shitfaced 3 hours from home just doesn't feel right so close to the baby getting here.
I am usually super laid back, and he usually does what he wants. But I just kinda had to draw the line here. He agreed to not go, but I think he thinks I am being a little crazy. He said "I mean I figured by a month out we would know if everything was cool, and I would be able to plan accordingly" I tried to explain that even though we are probably going to end up with a scheduled c-section, I would be 35+ weeks and who the hell knows what the baby will do.
bgkc4 I'm so sorry for your co-workers loss. I cannot imagine. And I'm so sorry for how it is affecting you and how you feel. Sending thoughts and love to you all
Ask him how upset he'd be if he missed the birth of your child. If he would never forgive himself and/or you wouldn't - it's not worth it - end of story.
You never know when a baby plans to arrive. It could happen the week before and he wouldn't want to go. It could happen 6 weeks later (unless planned c section like you said).
Andrea I don't think you're being irrational. Some people have their babies that early. If it's something he has to buy a ticket for and wouldn't be able to sell his then I probably would've said no too. Devils advocate (not sure if I actually think this) this might be his last opportunity for a while to do something like this with the guys.
Once you're a parent, priorities start changing. Supporting you and being there just in case might be the best choice. Maybe give him a redo after the baby is born.
Andrea, it's not even just going into labour - at 35+ weeks you're seen weekly and chances of pre-eclampsia can get higher - we won't know if you're on bed rest at that point for who knows what.... I think you being more comfortable having him there should be enough for him to miss out next year. He gets a Father's Day next year instead, and maybe you two can plan something special for the two of you closer to home - a baby moon of sorts if it might ease the disappointment.
Dreaming I'm glad that scary situation worked itself out and that the baby is fine. I hope you're getting some rest after all of that.
andrea a 3 day concert within your final month of pregnancy is no small thing. Especially since it's voluntary (unlike something work related), and it's an annual event, so he can go again next year. If you were saying "no" just to be difficult or spiteful, that wouldn't be right; but you are genuinely concerned about him being gone for three days that late in your pregnancy. You did the right thing being honest about your feelings. The alternative was to suck it up and spend three days home alone anxious and stressed; but pregnancy is hard enough as it is without having to disguise your emotions to appease others.
Post by ArgyleEnigma on Dec 9, 2015 0:37:37 GMT -5
bgkc4 , I am so sorry. When I was six, my little brother--14 months old--passed away. Please go to the funeral. You can sit in the back, and if you have great loud sobs that are disrupting the funeral, you can slip out until you get it under control. That's okay. A child's death is the great tragedy. You don't have to speak if you can't. People know. Just touch, hug if you have that kind of relationship. But please follow your instincts and go.
Andrea , You are right. He doesn't understand how not-scheduled these things are.
ETA: And does he really want to leave his seven-month-pregnant wife alone to worry? Is that worth a concert? It sure wouldn't be for me, no matter how objectively "reasonable" it otherwise was (although it isn't).
bgkc4 , I am so sorry. When I was six, my little brother--14 months old--passed away. Please go to the funeral. You can sit in the back, and if you have great loud sobs that are disrupting the funeral, you can slip out until you get it under control. That's okay. A child's death is the great tragedy. You don't have to speak if you can't. People know. Just touch, hug if you have that kind of relationship. But please follow your instincts and go.
Andrea , You are right. He doesn't understand how not-scheduled these things are.
ETA: And does he really want to leave his seven-month-pregnant wife alone to worry? Is that worth a concert? It sure wouldn't be for me, no matter how objectively "reasonable" it otherwise was (although it isn't).
I really think he thought we were in the clear since we discussed a planned c-section with my OB at my last appointment (I have a history of back surgery & broken coccyx). It didn't occur to him that baby may decide they want to evacuate early. He agreed to stay, but I know that he probably thinks I'm being over cautious . I guess the man is not used to me being the fun killer.
I also have a dx of IR-PCOS, which puts me at higher risk for pre-eclampsia, pre term labor, etc. I'm not trying to invite trouble, but I have to look at all of the possible things that could happen.
Dreaming I'm so glad that everything worked out! That must have been so scary.
bgkc4 I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend's child. I think you should go to the funeral if you're comfortable with that.
Andrea you're not being irrational at all. Lots of babies come early and lots of women have situations at the end of pregnancy that make it impossible to do anything. I would veto a trip like that too.
Post by frecklesnbrains on Dec 9, 2015 5:01:45 GMT -5
bgkc4 I'm so sorry. It's always a devastating thing when a child dies, and having a connection with the mom and being pregnant now just makes it all that much harder. Please let yourself grieve. It's normal. And I agree that if your instincts are telling you to go to the funeral then you should go. It may take a few days for you to process it, but go easy on yourself.
andrea I agree with everyone that you're not being irrational. That being said, is it possible you guys can reach a compromise? How about if you have an OB appointment the week before the concert. If all is clear he can go but any concerns at all and he stays. Also, ask him if he can stay sober(ish) and make sure he's available by phone and willing to drop everything and come home if he needs to.
So many hugs, Dreaming. One of my girlfriends went through this with her last pregnancy, and it scared her to death. So glad it was just a SCH. Hope it resolves itself soon!
bgkc4, that is absolutely devastating. I can never understand why things like this happen to innocent, tiny people. I'm with everyone else; trust your gut and go to the funeral if you think you can/should. Seeing familiar faces of love and support will mean the world to your former co-worker and her husband.
Andrea, I totally see where you're coming from and don't think you're being irrational at all. My problem wouldn't so much be the 3-hour away, 3-day thing as much as it would be all the heavy drinking. If he could hop in the car at a moment's notice and zoom home, that's one thing, but to be incapacitated is another. I'm kinda in the same boat as frecklesnbrains here. I think that's a great compromise.
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