Christmas card weirdness?

[fireflycaptain]

Okay, so this is the first year I'm doing Christmas cards. They feature two pictures of DS & I and one of just DS. 

DS's dad is not involved in any way. But the majority of his family is and I get along great with all that I've been around so they can build a relationship with DS. They are getting Christmas cards. 

My question is that two of BD's siblings live near him out of state and I don't know them that well. One barely acknowledges DS and I when they are in town. That could just be his personality, though. He doesn't know us, we don't know him, and he has no children to break the ice. And the other's spouse has come to town twice to visit family with the kids but it's "never worked out" on their end to meet up and spend time around DS.  I only know they are in town because I'm told by others. I get the sense that they don't like me (just the vibe nothing tangible) but would be okay with DS if I was in no way involved. 

My question is would you send them Christmas cards? It feels weird sending them. But it feels rude to exclude them when literally everyone else in there family is getting one. If I don't send them would it help maintain the wall I feel like was built between us but may not actually be there. lol I feel like if it was just DS on the card I wouldn't hesitate but since I'm on them it's weird.

Am I overthinking this? Being silly? Navigating family shit is rough when I'm the only one responsible for it. I just want DS to have the opportunity to build good family bonds as he gets older. And there aren't a whole lot of opportunities to open the door to dialogue with them since they live so far away.  

Thanks for reading. Advice would be appreciated. 





 

[freezorburn]

Is there someone in the family who would have insight? Sometimes there's a family member who has their finger on the pulse, so to speak, and would be able to give you some indication. Also a good source of up to date mailing addresses.

If it were my situation I would probably ask my MIL. She's the type who likes to keep people accountable on etiquette and social graces. But that might be a different person in your case.

If anything I would err on the side of including them in your mailing list. Their lack of interaction might have nothing to do with you, and may be more about other commitments and priorities.

[bullybutt]

I would go ahead and send it. All you can do is your part. If they don't respond/reciprocate, that's on them and they then look like the assholes, not you.

[fireflycaptain]

Thanks guys. It seems the general consensus is that it would be weirder to exclude them than to send then when they aren't interested. So I guess I'm sending them.