Parenting Check-in (Dec 14th)

[kh826]

Good Morning Parents!

Here is our roster for this check-in:

Parenting Roster
healz413
Manada
kevinandjesse
foodislove
megd893
calsurb
andstilltrying
jazibel
kh826
karlamo
jgy
sherminator
mahler5
wittyandwaiting
kona
strings
mrsnorris
2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)
jennicole
amberreva
shemarie82
officerofthelaw
ionaerebor

firstcomeslove2013

*If you would like to be added to the list, just let us know!

So, tell us about your parenting experiences this past week? Any new milestones? Anything exciting in your house?

QOTW: When was the last time that you had a "parenting break" -- even for just 30 mins? Being at work and commuting does not count! What do you and your spouse/partner (if you have one) do to ensure that you each get a break on occasion when you need one? What is something you have planned (or would like to plan) for some "me time" that would help you recharge your battery a bit?

[kh826]

William is 18 months old!

Well, we had the obligatory Santa meltdown experience yesterday. He wanted NOTHING to do with Santa, and he just about lost his mind when we tried to put him on Santa's lap. We didn't force it, and let him walk away. Santa's helper followed him and tried to give him a stuffed snowman, but William said "No way! Bye Bye" and refused to take the snowman. It was equal parts heartbreaking, frustrating and hysterical. He recovered quickly, but kept giving Santa the stink eye from across the room (we were at a Breakfast with Santa). We might try again with a mall Santa. We shall see...

His language has totally exploded in the last 1-2 weeks. New words in the last week include:
*Tissue
*Santa (ironically)
*Cookie (he still hasn't eaten one, but he says "Cookie mmmmm" all the time HAHA)
*Boots (sounds like boops, and he also calls him slippers that for some reason)

He has also started stringing a lot more words together. This weekend he blurted out "I love the puppies" and "Where is Pops?" clear as day. It is always startling when he says a complete sentence/thought.

He has been sharing his milk in the morning with his baby doll that we got him a few months ago. It is very cute. The baby doll has a little boy outfit on and sits in our baby swing in the playroom. William doesn't pay too much attention to "him" but will go over every once and a while and rock the swing and say "shhhh baby" ... now in the morning when he gets a sippy of milk after he wakes up, he has been going over to the swing and offering the baby milk from his cup.

He now officially counts to 10 without assistance consistently. He has started sorting things by color on his own, which is funny. He has this game that has all of these little muffin "counters" that are different colors and he always dumps them all out and sorts them into piles by color. He knows about 50% of the alphabet on his own. He will do A-I and sometimes A-L on his own then he stalls out. We help him get through the middle and then he finishes with S-Z. It actually has become a tactic for us to get through diaper changes. He is SUCH a wiggle worm and hates diaper changes -- it had become a big time struggle. Now if we say can you count for me, or let's say the alphabet, when we lay him down, he will usually lay there and count or say the alphabet while we change his diaper. It is usually a race to finish the diaper change before we get to 10 or Z LOL

We are definitely starting to see his toddler "tantrums" escalate. It is usually when he is tired or hungry that we struggle. He is super stubborn, though, and he will occasionally throw his fork from the table and we will get him out of his chair and ask him to pick up his fork and put it back on the table and then he can finish his meal and it will sometimes be a 10+ minute stand off trying to get him to pick up the darn fork. The problem is that he thinks it is funny, and then he "tells us off" in total gibberish that makes no sense and laughs. He sometimes does the same thing with his sippy cup or water bottle. He will throw it when he is done with it, and we will tell him that it is not OK to throw his cup and he has to pick it up and put it on the table nicely. We have definitely had a few lengthy battle of wills with him over picking up the cup. Sometimes I feel like it is not a battle worth fighting, but J insists, so I will always back her up. I want him to have good manners, and I want him to know there are certain behaviors that are not OK, but I wonder at this age how much of this redirection is retained.

QOTW: I am not good at getting a break, or asking for one, or agreeing to one for that matter... 2 weeks ago J and I went to a bridal shower and left William with J's dad for a couple of hours. That was my last "break," but I don't consider that "me time" per se. I really have only had 3-4 actual "me time" outings since William was born. 2 hair cuts, one trip to shop for maternity jeans... there might have been something else, but I can't remember. J has offered, but she doesn't offer often for me to go out solo. I think part of that is that she knows I will say no. I still struggle as the parent who works outside the home with the idea of taking me time when I am not working. I just feel guilty, and I really do miss William when I am not with him. That being said, I have scheduled some me time for this coming Sunday. I am going to run some Christmas errands to get a few things for J, etc., and we have decided that I will go out solo. It will probably only be for a couple of hours, but I am a little excited for it.

[firstcomeslove2013]

Hayden is going to be a year old on sunday...how did this happen?!?!?!

We had a stressful saturday as we moved my grandma (who is 91 into a nursing home). It is where she needs to be but it was still hard.

Our sitter is still working out fairly well. She is quiet and I have having a hard time letting her work (like I'll step in if the kids are crying) but we are working out a groove. She has been here 1-2 days a week so far and starting in January she will be here hopefully 3 days a week for about 2-3 hours each day.

I think I am getting sick and I know Chris is sick and I think Hayden is getting sick...'tis the season.

Today is Chris' birthday so that is exciting. We are going on a real deal date tonight but it seems like maybe what is happening is still up in the air. (Original plan was to go to the movies but then sushi was mentioned...I'm going to let the birthday boy decide).

We had a meeting with the REs office today to put things in order for me to start trying to carry TTC#2. I really like the new RE so far. She seems super great. She was really encouraging about my weight loss. She is taking a pretty proactive and aggressive approach (well...more aggressive than the OB we first used). I'll go in for my baseline ultrasound around the 26th-28th of December. Of course my period is set to start on Christmas...I was so nervous about this appointment (like losing sleep/sick to my stomach nervous) but it seems like it will be okay (well...so far so good).


QOTW: I am with you kh826. I am terrible at asking for and taking a break. I work from home and keep H with me during the day so I am always "on". C is super great about allowing me time but it usually is to go grocery shopping or run a quick errand. Now that she is almost a year it is getting easier but the first 6 months I didn't really leave her side (I think one time to go get my eyebrows done). I feel like I've been away from her a lot lately (we went out friday night for the first time with a real babysitter who isn't family, I went christmas shopping on sunday while she napped, and tonight we're going out for C's bday). A good recharge for me is often just some quiet and some time to relax a little on my own.

[mahler5]

C is 21 months

She is talking more as always. This morning she said, "see you later, Harvey" to the dog as we left for the first time. She is always talking, either repeating what we say, saying her own stuff, gibberish, or singing. She is really good at greeting everyone she knows by name. It's cute.

She has had more tantrums too. We are working on more discipline and working on consistency. It's hard. Some battles aren't worth fighting now (or at least I don't think they are but in hindsight may change my mind). Others are worth fighting but I'm not always sure of the best strategy.

I'm not sure if I even have a good example. It's hard because she understands so much now language-wise but emotionally she is still a young toddler. There are certain things we don't budge on but other things we do.

The hardest for me too is when I tell her "no" or don't let her do something, and she will get mad and throw something sometimes (occasionally she hits). So we will say no again for the consequential behavior but it's like I feel like I'm causing the bad behavior. I don't always try to stop her from throwing because it will just escalate the tantrum. I alwsys say no and will stop her throwing if she is throwing at me, or when she is in a normal mood I will always correct it. But It's like I want to let her be mad, because I feel that is part of her normal development but I don't want the negative behaviors when she blows up. I don't know if that makes any sense. It's obviously the hardest in public. I don't want people to see her throw a tantrum but I also don't want to let her eat grapes out of the bag at the grocery store because they haven't been washed.

Don't even get me started on eating in public. I'm about to breakdown and get the iPad out. We have been pretty good at staying away from the iPad but not good about TV time, which got much worse in my first tri when I was sick and staying at home. We are better at TV time now, but I still do feel guilty for letting her watch any tv. It's so helpful when I want to get ready or cook though. Or lay on the couch in a daze after our nap when I still need to sleep more (but hopefully these days have passed).

Anyway, I digress.

QOTW-- this morning actually. A friend and I trade time watching each other's kid. Usually she can't do mornings though and i get late afternoon or early evening, which is ok too, but having the whole morning off was fabulous.

I finally got our holiday card made online. Although I'm a little nervous L will not completely approve, but she never has time, and little interest in helping. I love her but she's terrible at doing stuff like that. We had a hard time getting a good family shot. And we were cheap this year and had my mom take pics. I had some decent shots of just C and one "so-so" pic of all of us. So I did a card with multiple photos, most of C, and one of all of us that's not as good. I guess I could have just sent one of C but I wanted a family pic, even if it isn't perfect. Again, I digress.....

L will often give me an hour or two at night if I need it. I usually give her some chunks of time on the weekend. We are both bad ( especially L) at actually doing things besides laying around. But veg time is important too I guess.

[kh826]

Dec 14, 2015 16:07:11 GMT -5 mahler5 said:

"I'm not sure if I even have a good example. It's hard because she understands so much now language-wise but emotionally she is still a young toddler. There are certain things we don't budge on but other things we do. "

EXACTLY THIS!

William is a little sponge, and he understands so much for his age. His language is also pretty advanced for 18 months. We can have little mini conversations now, and he totally gets what we are talking about. It is hard to remember that emotionally he is still only 18 months, and just because he "gets it" intellectually and can show us he understands, does not mean that he "gets it" emotionally, or retains what we are trying to teach him about certain behaviors yet.

I am starting to see this more and more with strangers in public as well. William looks older than 18 months apparently. To us, he is just who he is and we don't have a comparison, but everyone keeps telling us he is older. He was playing with the son of a family friend yesterday at breakfast with Santa -- this little boy is 2yrs & 2 months old -- and William was significantly larger than him (taller and just overall bigger -- he looked like a mini line backer next to this other little boy). Anyway, he looks older and his language is fairly developed, so people assume he is somewhere in the 2+ yrs old range. So they expect emotionally for him to be 2+ yrs old as well, and he is clearly NOT. So that is hard.

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

I love when I get home and ds screams with excitement. I don't know if it's just him trying to be one of the dogs like usual but it still feels good. Cut to 5 mins later ... Whine whine crazy 2 hrs til bed. Lol.

Did I tell you guys that ds started walking? 2 weeks ago. Same as with crawling he started then stopped so any day he will be taking off if we follow that pattern again.

I'm so excited for ds first Christmas. But we put up the tree so 2 weeks of "no don't touch that" haha

Qotw I'm not sure but I do go run errands alone sometimes... Can I tell u how bad I need a pedicure... May just do a quickie at home tonight. I feel alone time is better with 2 moms -- either that or my birth mom boardies have it BAD haha

[mahler5]

Dec 14, 2015 16:25:08 GMT -5 kh826 said:

Dec 14, 2015 16:07:11 GMT -5 mahler5 said:

"I'm not sure if I even have a good example. It's hard because she understands so much now language-wise but emotionally she is still a young toddler. There are certain things we don't budge on but other things we do. "

EXACTLY THIS!

William is a little sponge, and he understands so much for his age. His language is also pretty advanced for 18 months. We can have little mini conversations now, and he totally gets what we are talking about. It is hard to remember that emotionally he is still only 18 months, and just because he "gets it" intellectually and can show us he understands, does not mean that he "gets it" emotionally, or retains what we are trying to teach him about certain behaviors yet.

I am starting to see this more and more with strangers in public as well. William looks older than 18 months apparently. To us, he is just who he is and we don't have a comparison, but everyone keeps telling us he is older. He was playing with the son of a family friend yesterday at breakfast with Santa -- this little boy is 2yrs & 2 months old -- and William was significantly larger than him (taller and just overall bigger -- he looked like a mini line backer next to this other little boy). Anyway, he looks older and his language is fairly developed, so people assume he is somewhere in the 2+ yrs old range. So they expect emotionally for him to be 2+ yrs old as well, and he is clearly NOT. So that is hard.

Yeah, Chloe looks and acts older too! It is hard for people to understand.

It's so awesome William is talking so much. I think the fact that Chloe can communicate better now helps prevent some tantrums and meltdowns. . Although she still has them a lot ( and more intense now) .... So maybe not

[mahler5]

Hey. I just deleted a post. The more I thought about it, I didn't think it was entirely appropriate to post here and thought it better to take off. Sorry for any inconvenience to anyone.

[2brides]

It's been a good week (well, except G getting a stomach thing...) We've upped the time the kids can stay home alone (previously, it was about 15m, but Friday I needed to leave for work at 12:45 and L didn't get home till 1:45 and G did great (he didn't feel well, so he was watching tv the whole time!) We got the standarized testing scores back and they weren't as abismal as we'd prepped for (in one of the top performing counties in the country, only 38% if students "met expectations" so we were good with our kids' scores.) And we finally talked to the 504 coordinator about having her observe C and see if she thinks he has ADHD...I waffle on it "oh,my,goodness that kid is all over the place and a total distraction" and "he is just a wiggly kid."

QOTD: Between birth and 4y, virtually none. We'd hire our nanny 2x/year to babysit while we went to dinner and to shop at the multiples consignment sale (we didn't hire her to babysit often because she was already at our house 45 hrs/week.) And I bet we hired another sitter 2-3 other times during that time. L and I rarely went out after work individually (maybe 4x/year.) But once they turned 4y, they could go to Parents Night Out at our gym. Now, they can go 2x/month for 4 hrs, plus they can spend the night with their BFF if we have plans (ie. this past weekend) - though we try not to wear out that welcome. L and I go out with our own friends for dinner/happy hour/run errands after work 1-3x/month. Plus, even when we are all home, the kids can entertain themselves for hours. One a recent rainy Sunday, the kids holed up in their playroom/den playing video games, watching movies, and playing while L and I holed up in our bed watching our own movies. Bliss.