Friend advice please?
Jan 31, 2015 14:53:58 GMT -5
Post by spartanchick88 on Jan 31, 2015 14:53:58 GMT -5
I'm trying to get more involved over here so I hope it's ok I post.
Yesterday I caught some well deserved flak for something I posted on another board. My wording was horrible because I was stressed about it and it all came out wrong. It's the situation itself I need some help with.
Basic background. DD and another child have been friends since they were not quite a year old (they are now 4), her mother and I are also friends. Within the last year, their personality differences have become very apparent and, while it is important to me that DD is a polite and respectful child, the other child is basically running her household. That said, her manners are none of my concern until it involves my child. Recently, the other child has been very physically pushy and bossy and has been cutting DD down. Examples: DD was sitting in a chair, other child decided she wanted the chair and shoved DD out. Mom was too busy on her phone to notice so I kindly said 'no, DD is sitting there, please find another chair'. Cue meltdown. Mom gets up and gives the child her chair. This happened more than once in a 2 hour period. There have also been toy grabs, non sharing issues... other typical 4 year old stuff that I worry less about. Emotionally, the other child belittles DD and tells her things like she's not a big girl because she doesn't go to school (DD is the older of the two). No... she doesn't go to school because she is taught at home and gets a ton of social interaction. How many 4 year olds can tell you that an elephant, rhino and hippo are all pachyderms and a dolphin is a cetacean? She knows her letters, city, state, country, continent and planet, can identify other continents, count to 60 before getting bored etc. I think I'm doing ok!
Her mother is very self conscious and tries to cut me down as well - I'm old enough to know what's going on and not care what she thinks/says and am able to blow it off but when it comes to my kid it's impossible to ignore. I've been telling DD that she is smart and sweet and kind and she doesn't need to listen to anyone who tells her otherwise.
I think part of the reasons this bothers me so much is because I had a "friend" for 32 years who did the same thing to me. I finally called enough and culled her from my life. Much like my situation, DD and her friend not spending time together is not an option. Without giving details, we all have to spend time together.
I apologize for the novel but felt the need to give the background in order to best figure out how to deal with this. I hate seeing DD looking sad when she's told she's not as good as someone else for X reason.
Yesterday I caught some well deserved flak for something I posted on another board. My wording was horrible because I was stressed about it and it all came out wrong. It's the situation itself I need some help with.
Basic background. DD and another child have been friends since they were not quite a year old (they are now 4), her mother and I are also friends. Within the last year, their personality differences have become very apparent and, while it is important to me that DD is a polite and respectful child, the other child is basically running her household. That said, her manners are none of my concern until it involves my child. Recently, the other child has been very physically pushy and bossy and has been cutting DD down. Examples: DD was sitting in a chair, other child decided she wanted the chair and shoved DD out. Mom was too busy on her phone to notice so I kindly said 'no, DD is sitting there, please find another chair'. Cue meltdown. Mom gets up and gives the child her chair. This happened more than once in a 2 hour period. There have also been toy grabs, non sharing issues... other typical 4 year old stuff that I worry less about. Emotionally, the other child belittles DD and tells her things like she's not a big girl because she doesn't go to school (DD is the older of the two). No... she doesn't go to school because she is taught at home and gets a ton of social interaction. How many 4 year olds can tell you that an elephant, rhino and hippo are all pachyderms and a dolphin is a cetacean? She knows her letters, city, state, country, continent and planet, can identify other continents, count to 60 before getting bored etc. I think I'm doing ok!
Her mother is very self conscious and tries to cut me down as well - I'm old enough to know what's going on and not care what she thinks/says and am able to blow it off but when it comes to my kid it's impossible to ignore. I've been telling DD that she is smart and sweet and kind and she doesn't need to listen to anyone who tells her otherwise.
I think part of the reasons this bothers me so much is because I had a "friend" for 32 years who did the same thing to me. I finally called enough and culled her from my life. Much like my situation, DD and her friend not spending time together is not an option. Without giving details, we all have to spend time together.
I apologize for the novel but felt the need to give the background in order to best figure out how to deal with this. I hate seeing DD looking sad when she's told she's not as good as someone else for X reason.
DD April 2011, DS October 2015, two in my heart
