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AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 4:59:26 GMT -5 via Tapatalk

Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2015 4:59:26 GMT -5

**trigger warning**

I actually managed to hold my pee from 1030 to 430am, woke up and took a FRER with that saved up FMU. I was really truly honestly thinking that line was going to darken. Christmas miracle and all that jazz. Well, just the opposite happened. The line is gone. Totally gone. Not even a squinter and I really tried hard to see something. Test is completely negative. Obviously I see where this is going.

I feel kind of numb. I'm heartbroken.

But today is Christmas and I have two happy healthy beautiful little ones who are going to wake up soon so excited to see what Santa brought and I am going to try so hard not to let this cloud that.

I don't know what happens from here. I had this thought like wouldn't it be something if my doc office calls with my beta results and is like "uhh it's 0 you were never pregnant". Idk why lol. I have 4 days worth of lines on tests. I kind of hope that I'll just start bleeding before Monday. But not today. Please please please body, not today.

Merry Christmas everyone.

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youdontsay Gold Trophy Posts: 2,482 Love-Tits: 9,856	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 6:03:01 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by youdontsay on Dec 25, 2015 6:03:01 GMT -5 @irish I'm so so sorry, sending you many hugs right now.
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NariaDreaming

Administrator
Complaints Department

Tag me @ Admin (no space)

Amethyst Gem

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AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 6:21:58 GMT -5 via mobile

Post by NariaDreaming on Dec 25, 2015 6:21:58 GMT -5

I'm so sorry Irish

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5 years TTC
2 c/p's
2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF
1 failed IVF
1 failed FET
BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16
Fresh cycle #3 2/16
8R/7M/5F
BFP 5/12/16
We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28
BFP 8/30/16
We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16)
Moving on to Donor Embryos
BFP 12/20/16
We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30

Expecting a Rainbow

SPOILER: Click to show

BFP 2/10/17

elm1214 Gold Trophy Posts: 1,151 Love-Tits: 4,875	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 7:02:46 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by elm1214 on Dec 25, 2015 7:02:46 GMT -5 I'm so very sorry. Sending T&Ps and I truly hope your body cooperates today.
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twinkie0612

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AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 7:03:46 GMT -5 via Tapatalk

Post by twinkie0612 on Dec 25, 2015 7:03:46 GMT -5

I'm so sorry. Sending you a big squishy hug today.

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TTC #1 since August 2011
DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA
Me (32): Slightly low P4, hostile CM, carrier for CF, high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA
October 2012-August 2015: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, 2 failed FETs w/donor embryos, 1 freeze all IVF, 1 Failed FET, and 1 cancelled FET
November 2015: FET w/ DEm #3 Transferred 1 perfect 6AA blast

SPOILER: Click to show

BFP! Beta #1 39.6 Beta #2 257.4 Beta #3 1851 Beta #4 7406

juliayadda Moderator Platinum Trophy Posts: 4,873 Love-Tits: 19,825	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 7:26:31 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by juliayadda on Dec 25, 2015 7:26:31 GMT -5 So many hugs Irish.
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top My boring Ute TFAS 06/14 \| RE 08/15 \| IUI #1 10/12/15 \| MMC 02/16 \| IUI #2 20/10 \| Due 13/7

redthestral13 Bronze Trophy Posts: 289 Love-Tits: 929	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 7:37:03 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by redthestral13 on Dec 25, 2015 7:37:03 GMT -5 I'm so sorry you are going through this today of all days. I hope you can find some comfort in the joy of your little ones today. So much love to you mama.
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coffeequeen14 Gold Trophy Posts: 1,365 Love-Tits: 5,037	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 7:51:09 GMT -5 via mobile Post by coffeequeen14 on Dec 25, 2015 7:51:09 GMT -5 I'm so so sorry:( hugs.
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joy Bill Nye has nothing on ME Amethyst Gem Posts: 9,455 Love-Tits: 53,810	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 8:01:24 GMT -5 via mobile Post by joy on Dec 25, 2015 8:01:24 GMT -5 I'm so sorry, Irish.
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top 27 cycles of trying & one year with an RE: IUI #3: december 2015, 50 mg clomid + ovidrel = positive Baby Girl I, 8/29/16

thechickencoop Citrine's Sunny Posts: 5,003 Love-Tits: 17,608	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 8:02:15 GMT -5 via mobile Post by thechickencoop on Dec 25, 2015 8:02:15 GMT -5 Oh hon, all the hugs. I am so sorry.
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top SPOILER: Click to show DS.2012 TFAS since 9.2014 BFP 8.4.2015 CP 8.9.2015 BFP 11.19.2015 CP 11.24.2015 BFP 12.19.2015 MC 12.29.2015 All RPL testing WNL IUI #1: 11.2016 BFN IUI #2: 12.2016 BFN IUI #3: 1.2017 BFP EDD 10.20.2017 stick baby stick

dc2london Did not make my baby with a 3D printer My homemade cranberry citrus chutney bites its thumb at you. Sonic's Emerald Posts: 30,731 Love-Tits: 209,288	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 8:07:34 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by dc2london on Dec 25, 2015 8:07:34 GMT -5 I'm so sorry, irish. All the hugs to you. I hope you are able to enjoy the day with your little ones but be gentle with yourself
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top S1 04.2010 MMC 03.2012 S2 01.2013 DD 07.2016

misshart00 Platinum Trophy Posts: 2,696 Love-Tits: 5,342	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 8:38:33 GMT -5 via mobile Post by misshart00 on Dec 25, 2015 8:38:33 GMT -5 I'm sorry Irish.
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ronniesgirl

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AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 8:59:48 GMT -5

Post by ronniesgirl on Dec 25, 2015 8:59:48 GMT -5

I am so damn sorry. Please remember to be kind to yourself.

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****Loss Warning****
Me: 34 | He: 40 | TTC since 8/2012
Dx: DOR, High NK Cells, Partial DQ Alpha Match
Surprise BFP: 12/14
Double Surprise: MZ Twins
MMC at 8 weeks 1 day
www.ourartproject.blogspot.com

IVF 1: March 2014;Shady Grove; BFN.
IVF 2: April 2015; SIRM; eSET=BFN.
IVF 3: August 2015; SIRM; eSET=BFN.

SPOILER: Click to show

Here we go again! Surprise BFP. EDD 8/10/2016.

katelm Gold Trophy Posts: 1,821 Love-Tits: 4,940	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 9:21:30 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by katelm on Dec 25, 2015 9:21:30 GMT -5 I'm so sorry Irish
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top 3 Losses: EDD 8/19/14 & 4/10/15 (twins) IVF #1 6R, 6M, 4F, 0 blasts IVF #2 12R, 12M, 10F, 2 blasts --> 1pgs normal, didn't survive thaw IVF #3 w/ HGH 25R, 23M, 22F, 5 blasts --> 4 pgs normal! FET #1 6AA PGS normal blast on 11/19 SPOILER: Click to show BFP! EDD: 8/6/16, team PINK!

jamjoyful #bootybootybooty Platinum Trophy Posts: 4,569 Love-Tits: 10,807	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 9:27:23 GMT -5 via mobile Post by jamjoyful on Dec 25, 2015 9:27:23 GMT -5 I'm so sorry.
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bocaburger

Someone pinch me, I think I'm dreaming.

Citrine's Sunny

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AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 9:48:58 GMT -5 via mobile

Post by bocaburger on Dec 25, 2015 9:48:58 GMT -5

I'm so sorry. ((Hugs))

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Me: 27; Hashimoto's hypothyroid, PCOS (non-IR)
H: 29; MFI (low everything)
TTC since Oct 2012; ovulating consistently since Nov 2014
4 failed Clomid TI cycles, 1 failed IUI
IVF#1 Sept 2015: 11R/6M/6F; 1 transferred, 2 frosties: BFN
IVF#2 Dec 2015: 18R/17M/14F; 1 transferred, 5 frosties: BFP!
EDD 8/25/16 B/G TWINS!
M & G born 8/10/16

thepax89 Bronze Trophy Posts: 203 Love-Tits: 438	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 10:10:27 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by thepax89 on Dec 25, 2015 10:10:27 GMT -5 I'm so sorry. My heart aches for you and I'll be praying for you today.
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Deleted Deleted Member Posts: 0	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 10:10:27 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2015 10:10:27 GMT -5 Thank you everyone. You have all been so supportive and amazing for the short time I've been here while I was in limbo and confused. Wishing you all happy and healthy pregnancies and beautiful squishy baby. I'll be stalking and love titting along if that's ok.
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dorkusmalorkus Silver Trophy Posts: 986 Love-Tits: 3,193	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 10:14:48 GMT -5 Post by dorkusmalorkus on Dec 25, 2015 10:14:48 GMT -5 That sucks. I'm so, so sorry this happened to you! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that your body cooperates today. Hugs!
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Me: 38 DH: 35 DD: 08/21/2010 DS: 07/23/2012 EDD: 08/07/2016

roofusdoofus Bronze Trophy Posts: 326 Love-Tits: 917	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 10:51:13 GMT -5 via mobile Post by roofusdoofus on Dec 25, 2015 10:51:13 GMT -5 So sorry, Irish. Be kind to yourself and squeeze your little ones tight.
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remylove1011 Platinum Trophy Posts: 4,003 Love-Tits: 13,455	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 11:11:48 GMT -5 via Tapatalk Post by remylove1011 on Dec 25, 2015 11:11:48 GMT -5 So sorry! ((Hugs))
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice) SPOILER: Click to show BFP!!! DD born 08/25/16

Rama The Real MVP Tag me @ ramadiculous Amethyst Gem Posts: 7,557 Love-Tits: 43,998	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 11:14:22 GMT -5 via mobile Post by Rama on Dec 25, 2015 11:14:22 GMT -5 Damnit. I am so sorry, Irish. Be kind to yourself.
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Rama: 29 - PCOS \|\| MrRama: 31 TTC since May 2014 BFP#1 12/10/15, EDD 08/18/16, EP 12/25/15 "Trooper" BFP#2 02/10/17, EDD 10/24/17, MMC 03/24/17 "Twinkle, Diamond, & Little Star" BFP#3 07/18/17, EDD 03/30/18 "Iggy" I'll [STAND BY YOU]

sarcaztic10 Platinum Trophy Posts: 3,460 Love-Tits: 9,827	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 12:02:18 GMT -5 via mobile Post by sarcaztic10 on Dec 25, 2015 12:02:18 GMT -5 I am so sorry. Sending you (((hugs)))
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agpjt413 Moderator Citrine's Sunny Posts: 6,738 Love-Tits: 14,758	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 12:03:26 GMT -5 via mobile Post by agpjt413 on Dec 25, 2015 12:03:26 GMT -5 All the hugs @irish - I'm so sorry ❤️
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Me: AMA 37, DH: 51, Married: 02.09.2007 BFP#1: 09.29.14 EDD: 06.14.15 M/C: 10.31.14 BFP#2: 03.20.15 EDD: 11.27.15 M/C: 04.10.15 BFP#3: 12.02.15 EDD: 08.12.16 Our rainbow was born 8.16.16 SPOILER: Click to show ALL WELCOME

Deleted
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AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 12:25:54 GMT -5 via mobile

Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2015 12:25:54 GMT -5

I told my mom. We were in the phone and it was just repeating in my head. I just felt like I wanted my mommy. So it came out like word vomit. She was supportive (she's not always an emotionally supportive type of person, much more of a "suck it buttercup" type). She also told me that had a miscarriage which I never knew. So she does know the awful feeling. I'm glad that at least if I seem a little off today she will know why instead of hounding me with questions.

I am putting on my best happy face for my LOs though. They're amazing. The day is flying by.

juliayadda, Rama, and 2 more like this

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dc2london
Did not make my baby with a 3D printer

My homemade cranberry citrus chutney bites its thumb at you.

Sonic's Emerald

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AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 12:35:38 GMT -5 via Tapatalk

Post by dc2london on Dec 25, 2015 12:35:38 GMT -5

Dec 25, 2015 10:10:27 GMT -5 @irish said:

Thank you everyone. You have all been so supportive and amazing for the short time I've been here while I was in limbo and confused. Wishing you all happy and healthy pregnancies and beautiful squishy baby. I'll be stalking and love titting along if that's ok.

You are always, always welcome here

juliayadda, Rama, and 1 more like this

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S1 04.2010
MMC 03.2012
S2 01.2013
DD 07.2016

venyia Silver Trophy Posts: 861 Love-Tits: 2,826	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 13:09:31 GMT -5 Post by venyia on Dec 25, 2015 13:09:31 GMT -5 @irish, so very sorry. I was hoping for you that today would be a happier day. I am glad your mom is being so warm and understanding. Take care of yourself.
	dc2london likes this PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top DD1 5-23-14 DD2 8-30-16

gratefulgirl Raising tiny humans is hard. Platinum Trophy Posts: 4,331 Love-Tits: 12,849	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 13:53:11 GMT -5 Post by gratefulgirl on Dec 25, 2015 13:53:11 GMT -5 So sorry @irish. I've been there and it totally sucks. ((Hugs)). I hope you are able to take care of yourself in the coming weeks.
	PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top DD1: 02/2012, DD2: 09/2014, DD3: 08/2016 3 early losses due in 12/2013, 05/2014, and 07/2014 SPOILER: Click to show

Deleted
Deleted Member

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AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 14:02:13 GMT -5 via mobile

Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2015 14:02:13 GMT -5

Do the men not grieve?
H just seems like he has moved on. Like it was never there. I know he understands I am sad and he is being supportive but he was very "oh" about the situation.

So yeah, I'm glad my mom knows

I am also feeling... Guilt. I know it's crazy but I was thinking fuck I took an antibiotic (amoxicillin) and I thought I read it could fuck up implantation. I know, I know. It's not my fault and I need to just let it go and understand that this was not our take home baby.

Now I am kind of wishing I would start bleeding today so I can just grieve and move the fuck on. I don't like waiting for things.

Sorry I'm kind of live blogging. On my way to my moms for Christmas celebration so this is probably a post and run.

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Last Edit: Dec 25, 2015 14:02:44 GMT -5 by Deleted

elebishi Bronze Trophy Posts: 397 Love-Tits: 1,511	AW: not good Dec 25, 2015 14:20:49 GMT -5 via mobile Post by elebishi on Dec 25, 2015 14:20:49 GMT -5 I think I missed some of your other posts, but I want to say I am so sorry. And on Christmas, of all days. You absolutely did nothing to cause it. I understand that feeling though. Please be easy on yourself.
	dc2london, Rama, and 2 more like this PAGE: TOP \| BOTTOM Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top DD #1 9.6.2012 DD #2 7.19.2014 BFP #3 5.30.2015, BO 7.1.2015, MC 7.30.2015 DS 8.24.2016

Board Index

Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2015 4:59:26 GMT -5

Post by youdontsay on Dec 25, 2015 6:03:01 GMT -5

Post by NariaDreaming on Dec 25, 2015 6:21:58 GMT -5

Post by elm1214 on Dec 25, 2015 7:02:46 GMT -5

Post by twinkie0612 on Dec 25, 2015 7:03:46 GMT -5

Post by juliayadda on Dec 25, 2015 7:26:31 GMT -5

Post by redthestral13 on Dec 25, 2015 7:37:03 GMT -5

Post by coffeequeen14 on Dec 25, 2015 7:51:09 GMT -5

Post by joy on Dec 25, 2015 8:01:24 GMT -5

Post by thechickencoop on Dec 25, 2015 8:02:15 GMT -5

Post by dc2london on Dec 25, 2015 8:07:34 GMT -5

Post by misshart00 on Dec 25, 2015 8:38:33 GMT -5

Post by ronniesgirl on Dec 25, 2015 8:59:48 GMT -5

Post by katelm on Dec 25, 2015 9:21:30 GMT -5

Post by jamjoyful on Dec 25, 2015 9:27:23 GMT -5

Post by bocaburger on Dec 25, 2015 9:48:58 GMT -5

Post by thepax89 on Dec 25, 2015 10:10:27 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2015 10:10:27 GMT -5

Post by dorkusmalorkus on Dec 25, 2015 10:14:48 GMT -5

Post by roofusdoofus on Dec 25, 2015 10:51:13 GMT -5

Post by remylove1011 on Dec 25, 2015 11:11:48 GMT -5

Post by Rama on Dec 25, 2015 11:14:22 GMT -5

Post by sarcaztic10 on Dec 25, 2015 12:02:18 GMT -5

Post by agpjt413 on Dec 25, 2015 12:03:26 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2015 12:25:54 GMT -5

Post by dc2london on Dec 25, 2015 12:35:38 GMT -5

Post by venyia on Dec 25, 2015 13:09:31 GMT -5

Post by gratefulgirl on Dec 25, 2015 13:53:11 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Dec 25, 2015 14:02:13 GMT -5

Post by elebishi on Dec 25, 2015 14:20:49 GMT -5