Post by lbey on Dec 27, 2015 0:00:48 GMT -5
In all the adoption classes I have taken, we were taught how hard kids from a hard past can be, how to deal with certain problems, where to look for help, the importance of having therapies and so on. What non of the classes taught me is how to deal with society. How to deal with people that view my daughter as a "problem" and how to respond to stupid comment and still keep yourself together without beeing seen as rude.
Today I was visiting a friend and DD played wonderfully with her DD. I was so happy! I am pretty open to this friend of mine as she is like a sister and has been with me during the entire process. She was also.one of my references and has been cheering with me at every step. While we werw talking another friend of her (note I barely know that woman) and of course was full of questions. I kept in mind she was just curious and wanted to respond to hwr questions keeping my DD's privacy.
First question : Where are her real parents and why they didnt want her? ( Classic question) I just responded " Well, they actually really loved her and tried their best to keep her, but they just couldn't"
Second question " were they addicted? Is she addicted to some drug?" referring to my daughter. I said "No, they just had mental problems" and I stopped there.
While we were talking about schools, my friend asked about the school she knew I liked if it would work for my DD. I said it wouldnt because while we were there she displayed a behavior that the principal felt like she couldn't handle. My friend asked if she does the same at home and I said no. Because I could say that was probably because she was very scared and nervous at school, as we could actually see her squeezing her stuffed bear while we toured the school, that lady who I barely knew jsut said "Oh. that is probably because she feels safer at school and knows that no one will hurt her there" That followed by a lot of other stupid comments such as "Why didnt you get a baby so you could raise the way you want. You cant fix an older child, you are very brave"
I was speechless and could not hide my face. I just had to leave the house...
And of course right after I get a letter from the so called principal of the school we were looking at telling us our child is out of control and once we can control her she might be able to review our case again. As if her call few days ago wasn't enough.
I understand people dont know any better, but how do you deal with this and keep yourself nice and polite???
I feel like a mad lion every time people talk shit about my daughter and I wanna tell them off!!
Today I was visiting a friend and DD played wonderfully with her DD. I was so happy! I am pretty open to this friend of mine as she is like a sister and has been with me during the entire process. She was also.one of my references and has been cheering with me at every step. While we werw talking another friend of her (note I barely know that woman) and of course was full of questions. I kept in mind she was just curious and wanted to respond to hwr questions keeping my DD's privacy.
First question : Where are her real parents and why they didnt want her? ( Classic question) I just responded " Well, they actually really loved her and tried their best to keep her, but they just couldn't"
Second question " were they addicted? Is she addicted to some drug?" referring to my daughter. I said "No, they just had mental problems" and I stopped there.
While we were talking about schools, my friend asked about the school she knew I liked if it would work for my DD. I said it wouldnt because while we were there she displayed a behavior that the principal felt like she couldn't handle. My friend asked if she does the same at home and I said no. Because I could say that was probably because she was very scared and nervous at school, as we could actually see her squeezing her stuffed bear while we toured the school, that lady who I barely knew jsut said "Oh. that is probably because she feels safer at school and knows that no one will hurt her there" That followed by a lot of other stupid comments such as "Why didnt you get a baby so you could raise the way you want. You cant fix an older child, you are very brave"
I was speechless and could not hide my face. I just had to leave the house...
And of course right after I get a letter from the so called principal of the school we were looking at telling us our child is out of control and once we can control her she might be able to review our case again. As if her call few days ago wasn't enough.
I understand people dont know any better, but how do you deal with this and keep yourself nice and polite???
I feel like a mad lion every time people talk shit about my daughter and I wanna tell them off!!
