I have 2 step kids. They know about L, they visit when they aren't sick and they can't wait for her to come home. They are with us half the time and I took care of them a lot when they were younger so we are very close.
DSS(8), is having nightmares about L dying and it's really upsetting him. So much so that his sadness carries on into the day.
I don't know what to say that we haven't said already.
*trigger- loss mentioned* I think part of it stems from my miscarriage last year. We told everyone at 12 weeks and then found out a few days later and then explained to the kids that baby stopped growing. He's mentioned a time or 2 that he "hopes L keeps growing". Do I try and explain the difference between why our other baby didn't make it and what L is going through now?
Poor little guy. Such a sweet boy to even have these feelings. My heart aches.
Me: 27 DH: 35 MFI, failed vas-reversal TTC since 2011 Met RE 7/2012 6 failed IUIs 9/2014 IUI BFP, MMC @12 weeks, natural mc @ home 11/18/2014 01/2015 IUI, BFP, CP 2/2015 IUI, BFP, due 11/14/15 delivered 9/8/15 via emergency CS for severe preeclampsia. Currently in the NICU.
Post by motownthrowdown on Dec 29, 2015 22:18:00 GMT -5
I'm so sorry for your loss last year.
I would definitely explain the difference though. I've seen several books on amazon written to explain the nicu to older siblings. Maybe L could "give" him one as a way to get to know her.
I also wonder if he might be having some kind of trauma/anxiety response. It's traumatic as an adult, when you can rationally understand the reason for machines, procedures, etc. It must be very confusing and scary as a child. Could you have a nurse or a social worker/child life services person help you think of ideas? I'm sure they've seen it before.
Me: 27 DH: 35 MFI, failed vas-reversal TTC since 2011 Met RE 7/2012 6 failed IUIs 9/2014 IUI BFP, MMC @12 weeks, natural mc @ home 11/18/2014 01/2015 IUI, BFP, CP 2/2015 IUI, BFP, due 11/14/15 delivered 9/8/15 via emergency CS for severe preeclampsia. Currently in the NICU.
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