Post by Jennifer18131 on Feb 1, 2015 22:30:07 GMT -5
lindseyione Please go talk to someone. For yourself. For your children. Talk to us if nothing else. But please don't stay "because of the kids." I'm hurting for you
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
I think my SO is mentally abusive and I try to brush it off to attempt to make our relationship work for our children.
Nope. Abusive in any form is not a healthy family life for children.
This. Definitely don't stay for your children. Obviously, I don't know your story, or what's going on, but I do think though trying to get help - counseling or therapy - is worth it. If you try though, and he doesn't want help, or won't/doesn't change - then you need to leave. For your children. ::hugs::
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
No. Your children are not better off in an abusive relationship. That's setting a terrible example. Walk away.
Hugs for you as you're going through this, but I totally agree with Jennifer18131.
If your husband is verbally abusive to you it will eventually reach the children. And the children will learn that as a normal way to treat others, or to be treated by your husband. If I recall, you have daughters, and please try to do everything to you can to make sure that they learn that it is completely unacceptable and that when that happens, you walk away.
Last Edit: Feb 1, 2015 22:38:15 GMT -5 by darwinfish
My rainbow arrived 10/15/14.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
Thanks for all the feedback re:daycare. I'm definitely planning to look into her references, and my gut felt pretty comfortable with her. She'd clearly put a lot into setting up her space, and she had good vibe when interacting with DS. I will still hopefully be looking at one other option that's also closer to home than our current dc, but I'm feeling fairly positive about this option.
lindseyione Lady, don't stick with it for the kids. Honestly. You're going to show them it's okay to be talked down to. You and your kids are worth so much more than that. Get some help, together, or carefully consider leaving. If you're saying you think he's abusive, you obviously feel that way for a reason.
DH wanted to put the P in the V tonight after E went to bed. I rocked her to sleep and I'm sitting on the couch with her until she's out hard. I look over and H is passed out on the the other couch. I ain't even mad.
lindseyione big hugs to you. Do what's best for your family and definitely seek out someone to talk to. Whether it be counseling, family, friends, or whatever.
So my shitty Sunday night is turning into a pretty good Monday already. Office is closed due to the weather, and I can put off day care for another day and snuggle my baby!! Here's hoping the mall is closed, too, so DH can hang out with us.
Just went to check out an in-home daycare. It's only 5 minutes from my house, the lady who runs it seemed very nice and well prepared but DS would be her first baby. She had answers for all of my questions and has obviously thought through how she will run her daycare, she's worked in daycare previously and is fully licensed through the state, but she hasn't picked up any families yet. For the time being, DS would be the only child there -- so 1-on-1 care for daycare prices. The price is great -- nearly $500 less than what we pay at our current, larger center (that is 30 min from home/ 40 from work). I'm hesitant bc I can't get any feedback from other families, but also feel like this could be a great option. Opinions are welcome. TIA!
I think if you feel comfortable with her you should go for it. If you decide later you want to go somewhere else you can. It takes quite a bit to get licensed in most states and they typically have more strict requirements than even centers.
Post by breandmikebaby on Feb 2, 2015 3:41:22 GMT -5
My friend's uncle is a seahawks coach and people are talking shit to my friend on Facebook about the last play and blaming her uncle but it wasn't his call. It's getting pretty heated!
I think I need to leave him. Happy mom = happy kids, right?
I've been told that all extremes aside, you should put off making any marital decisions for at least 6 months after a major life change. Both of you are going through major adjustments right now. I second the recommendation to seek sone counseling instead, discuss your options wuyh and without H, and think it over before you make any big decisions.
I think my SO is mentally abusive and I try to brush it off to attempt to make our relationship work for our children.
::record screech::
No. Your children are not better off in an abusive relationship. That's setting a terrible example. Walk away.
This. DH grew up with a father who is mentally, emotionally, and occasionally physically abusive towards his mother and himself (somehow, his sister was mostly spared). It took him 10 years after he got out (19 - 29) to get to the point where he was able to have a "normal" relationship and allow people to get close to him (aside from his Grandmother, who in many ways, saved his life). I have gotten used to many of the lingering effects of his childhood (low self worth, etc), but he continues to struggle with interactions with those in authority (such as looking people in the eye when having a conversation, speaking up when he wants something, etc). For goodness sakes, he was afraid that I would be angry with him at Christmas when he didn't buy me as many presents as I did for him. Your SO will become abusive towards his children if you don't get out. You children will not realize that his actions are wrong and accept them as normal and it will impact their entire lives. If you can't stand up for yourself, stand up for your children and leave.
dreadgamerwife ugh big hugs for your DH! Mine had a similar father and he's sort of worked past it, but he's so desperate for approval, it's sad sometimes.
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