Let's talk about depression and anxiety in pregnancy

[cocobellaf]

So, I think I'm dealing with a fair amount of both.  I have an appointment with my OB tomorrow and I plan to bring it up.  I was surprised not to find more about this on TCF.

I spend a lot of time crying because I don't recognize my body and because I don't feel connected to this baby.  I would be devastated if something were to happen to Baby, but at the same time I would feel a bit of relief at getting myself back.  I am a horrible, awful person.  I had an anxiety attack over the weekend.  What if I can't get the baby out?  What if I am huge?  What if the baby and I don't like each other?  How come I don't want to research anything for the baby?  Why am I a bad pregnant lady?  Why do I hate being pregnant?  It was ugly, y'all.

Pregnancy (and m/s in particular) has been very isolating.  I am struggling!  Is anyone else in the same boat?

[housecarder]

You are not alone, trust me. I have had some severe times of depression and even had some really bad PPD with DD. It doesn't make you an awful person or a bad pregnant lady anymore than someone having diabetes. It's an illness and recognizing it is the first step.

Pregnancy messes with your hormones which can lead to imbalances often triggering or making mental illnesses worse. I would ask your OB for a recommendation to a counselor and psychiatrist that is familiar with pregnancy. There are some meds out there that can help and are safe for pregnancy.

I also wanted to send big hugs to you! This isn't easy and the constant puking makes getting out very hard. I went out for a friend's birthday last night and kept looking at the menu and thinking "Well this is going to be expensive vomit". Try to be kind to yourself.

[ellebelle]

I know your brain is telling you this but you're not a horrible, awful person. Pregnancy is stressful. And the hormone changes are no joke. I have been seeing a psychiatrist throughout our IF/loss journey and she repeatedly told me she wanted me to stay on Zoloft at least until second trimester because anxiety/depression is so common in pregnancy. I would definitely tell your OB what you're going through and ask for a referral to a counselor/psychiatrist. Hang in there.

[madamewaffles]

First of all, big ::hugs::. You are not alone. I too have had struggles with this pregnancy. You are not a bad mother/pregnant person AT ALL for having these feelings or lack of feelings due to not feeling connected to the baby yet. I feel this way often, and then it leads to a downward of spiral of assuming the worst has happened or will happen. Definitely bring it up to your OB tomorrow. You can do this.

[harlowjune1984]

The PP have pretty much summed up what I was going to say, so now you just get a big ol creepy internet hugs from me! ((hug))

[tootsie]

I'm so sorry you're struggling. Your body is going through so many changes and it is so hard to deal with on so many levels. Don't hesitate to talk to your OB. I have dealt with depression for quite awhile, and keep waffling on getting medicated. My OB said that we can keep an eye on me and he is not against prescribing anti-depressants while pregnant.

It's hard to connect with the baby when you feel like shit and it's hard to remember why. There's a misconception that pregnancy is a wonderful, magical experience where women gently caress their bellies and hear angels sing, but the reality is that pregnancy can really suck. It's valid to have wildly conflicting emotions regarding all the changes you're faced with. It's also valid to ask for help. We're here for you.

[TheTuna15]

I'm going to jump on the hug train and send you big creepy internet hugs. I had a hard time emotionally with my first pregnancy and I won't lie and say I'm not stressed out about adding a second baby. You're not a bad person for feeling disconnected and you're not a bad pregnant lady for not researching. And you are no where close to being the only pregnant woman who has thought to herself: what in holy hell am I getting myself in to? I won't hesitate to say that a lot of us have found ourselves hating parts of what pregnancy does to us physically/emotionally/mentally.

I know a lot of the messages out there look like glossy pages from the cover of fitPregnancy and they tell us how happy we should be and how lucky we are. And it can make us feel isolated because that's not how we feel when we can't keep food down and our bodies are changing and are you kidding now I have to take a pill to poop? You can do this. I have cried buckets and told MH that I thought we had made a mistake. But you get through it, and I can guarantee the baby you get at the end doesn't know if you cried and they won't love you any less for it.

I hope your OB gives you some good options, and you can always shoot me a PM if you want to talk/vent. I've been there.

[Ray]

Big hugs. Good steps in bringing it up with your OB. I suffered from depression and anxiety before gku (hospitalized for it in Sept) and still struggle with self-harm. You are not a terrible person.

There are some safer options for mood stabilizers while pregnant (I got switched from Prestiq to Zoloft) I am glad you will be talking to your Dr about it - hopefully he can help.

[beebe918]

You are not alone! On my May15 BMB we have an anxiety and depression check-in once a month that you should lurk! I've been on Zoloft since the very beginning of my pregnancy with DS. My OB prescribed it and also encouraged me to see a psychologist. I went to a psychologist 3 times but together we decided the medicine was doing great and it was truly just a chemical imbalance rather then something counseling could fix.

It's totally normal to not feel connected to the baby right now. I feel totally different about this pregnancy then I did with DS to the point where I often forget I'm pregnant. I think as we get further along and feel the baby move, hear the heartbeat more, see it on more ultrasounds our connection will increase. And all your other thoughts/concerns are totally normal and do not make you a bad anything. I will say I don't think spending a lot of time crying is normal or at least it doesn't have to be.

Has your morning sickness improved at all? Have you talked to your OB about taking anything for that? If your morning sickness improved to do think pregnancy would be less isolating? I know it's winter but I do think getting out of the house, being with friends and family can be a huge help.

I hope you feel better soon and we're always here for you!

[lovegrilledcheese]

Sending lots of hugs. I struggle from bad anxiety too. My OB is okay with me going on Zoloft if I'm really struggling. I would definitely talk you your OB

[glaze]

Sending big hugs. I'm glad you're going to bring this up with your OB. You're definitely not alone. I've had struggles too and for me a lot of it is because of the morning sickness. I don't even feel pregnant, I look like crap all the time and I feel useless at home and so on. I had this with both my previous pregnancies and after the morning sickness passes it gets so much better for me. Hopefully it will for you as well.

[those3words]

Hugs. Yes, talk to you OB and do what you need to do to get yourself feeling better.

But also, I felt very little connection to DS during my last pregnancy. This pregnancy too, I'm like "PHEW! Heartbeat" but I'm still pretty detached (maybe due to our IF struggles...it just doesn't feel like a real person is in there.)

And even after DS was born I was like, "Who the hell are you?" Now he is amazing and I love that little guy more than anything.

But even when you are feeling better, it is OK to not buy into the media's version of pregnancy/birth. Sometimes it takes time to really fall in love with your baby - and that is OK!

[cocobellaf]

Thanks everyone.

[Ray]

Another one re: baby bonding.

I was really upset when I first went to my doctor to learn that I wouldn't get an u/s until almost half way through my pregnancy. I felt it wasn't feeling "real". So I started writing a really short little letter/note to the baby each week. I let him/her know how I'm feeling, anything exciting than happening or even just if I had a nice meal or something. It has made me feel amazingly connected to this baby I know journaling isn't for everyone - but it may help!

[rungirlrun]

I'll echo what others have said that you are not alone. And bringing it up and seeking help is a huge step. I suffered from depression a few years ago pre-kids, and while it's pretty well managed, and I'm in a much better state than where I was before, I still have bad moments. And after my son was born, while I didn't suffer from PPD, I had a lot of dark days. I resented DS for taking away my easy life I had before, I really thought H and I had made a mistake in deciding to have children, and I just wanted DS's real parents to come take him so I could go back to how things used to be. While I loved his initially, I don't know if I really liked him too much. It was a rough period, but things got so much better after the initial shock of parenthood. Now he's 2, and he's amazing, and I couldn't imagine life without him.

It frustrates me that during pregnancy and the newborn stage all you hear from people are congratulations and how wonderful everything is. I know people mean well, but I wish more people were open about all of the challenges as well.

Big hugs - you have a lot of support on here and hopefully IRL.

[cocobellaf]

I try to spend a few minutes a day thinking about the baby, but I mostly just feel resentful right now. I think it will be a little better when the nausea, sickness, and no appetite starts to ease up. At least, I hope so!!!!

[uniquename]

Hugs here as well. 

I know what you all mean when you say people don't talk about prenatal anxiety and depression. I struggled the third trimester with my last two pregnancies and had no idea that could happen. So not helpful to anyone just yet, but a heads up that it could happen. 

[lostinfaith225]

A little late to respond, but hugs to you and the other ladies!!!

Pp have pretty much said eloquently what I would say.

I was diagnosed with mild to moderate anxiety in 2011. I have been in celexa and it works well. I have also seen a therapist off and on since. That has been extremely helpful.

I stayed in celexa during my last pregnancy and this one. It is in the same class as zofran. For me, it is better for me and the baby to stay on. I had a lot of anxiety thru out my last one. Probably a little depression this time...same as you...due to hg.

You should definitely talk to your ob both for your mental health and ms. I am now doing in home Iv fluids every 3 days...it is helping immensely! ( with phinergan and zofran)

Maybe we should do a mental health check in. My last bmb did it for awhile.

[dscarr]

I have no more advice to add. You've already been given loads of good stuff, but you are absolutely not alone. I've had some demons to battle too. Hugs.

[beebe918]

Jan 4, 2016 19:44:26 GMT -5 lostinfaith225 said:

.

I stayed in celexa during my last pregnancy and this one. It is in the same class as zofran. For me, it is better for me and the baby to stay on.

Do you mean zoloft? Zofran is category b while celexa and zoloft are category c.

[lostinfaith225]

Jan 5, 2016 1:33:35 GMT -5 beebe918 said:

Jan 4, 2016 19:44:26 GMT -5 lostinfaith225 said:

.

I stayed in celexa during my last pregnancy and this one. It is in the same class as zofran. For me, it is better for me and the baby to stay on.

Do you mean zoloft? Zofran is category b while celexa and zoloft are category c.

Yes, sorry! I was tired last night.