Opinions not of the majority type

[Deleted]

Happy Thursday! What's going in the pot today and who wants to stir it?  And go!

[mrsdee1982]

Maybe I should have posted this here instead of the randoms thread. I was surprised at the circumcision one. DH and I plan on circumcision for any boys we may have. I didn't realize that this has turned into an UO.

www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/this-is-where-parents-stand-on-todays-most-controversial-par#.svZbvn555

[Bluedaisy]

Jan 7, 2016 11:40:06 GMT -5 mrsdee1982 said:

Maybe I should have posted this here instead of the randoms thread. I was surprised at the circumcision one. DH and I plan on circumcision for any boys we may have. I didn't realize that this has turned into an UO.

www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/this-is-where-parents-stand-on-todays-most-controversial-par#.svZbvn555

I didn't read the article but I think it can be fairly regional.  Friends here are very pro and when we were in the hospital we had a nurse get very snotty with my husband when we told her we weren't.  He told her he'd done research and her response was "academic research?" at that point my DH was a little frustrated and responded "Well since I have a PHD and actually teach nursing students at the college, yes I'd assume it's academic research".  

For us the argument to do it wasn't compelling enough to do it for our family but we totally understand why tons of other people do it.

[Bluedaisy]

Joolschweets, my thoughts on the child leash are that they can be a godsend but the problem occurs when parents use them to not parent (my kid is on a leash so I don't have to pay any attention). I think that if you have more than one kid or are going somewhere with crowds they can be a huge help.

[beersandweirs]

I have said this before, but I can definitely see the benefit to leashes, and I only have the one baby right now!

[beersandweirs]

My UO (O,U) is that I don't think women should have to wear makeup in order to be considered professional. My mom doesn't agree.

[Deleted]

Yes to child leashes, so long as they aren't your only way of trying to keep control of your child. I sure as hell used on on DS1 when we lived in an urban high rise for two years and he suddenly developed a habit of trying to run away from me every time we walked anywhere in our high traffic neighborhood. I would rather have a leashed child than a dead one.

Personally, no to circumcision. DNC what others do with their boys. That said, DS1 is not circed and P is. XH husband is from Europe and agreed with not doing it. DH is pro circ-ing and there is no way we ever would have agreed on it so, since he is the one with the penis, I just let him decide. I'm ok with it now but I cried when they took P to do it and it broke my heart to see it while he was healing.

[jessila]

I don't remember if this one has been discussed here or not but I think waking a baby isn't too big of a deal. I know some children are not worth waking (I was one of them!) but my kid looks sad for 10 seconds then is happy to see you!


Another one--I think cumin smells like BO. At least in the middle of the night. I used it to make fajitas last night and smelled it all night long. I thought I was in gross need of deodorant until I realized it was my sweatshirt.


I let DH make the call on circumcision since I don't have a penis.

The common core thing (referencing the article posted) can be confusing but I realize that it's actually the way I've always done math in my head. I just never had to show my work instead showing the work for what would be memorized information. For some people it works really well. DH thinks it's stupid but he's some sort of math wizard.

And I'm glad to see that most people think breastfeeding in public isn't a big deal. So now can we stop posting about it? I NIP when needed but don't have to write a blog every time I do so.

[Widget123]

I will say something potentially controversial for the sake of this thread not turning into another snoozefest. Please don't eat me alive; I am just hoping to spark some conversation.

I think the "gender is fluid" direction that society is going is getting to be extreme.

Background: This was a big topic of discussion at a New Year's Day party. Someone who has a You Tube channel was talking about a comment he got about a song that he wrote that says "If you are a boy do (this)" "If you are a girl (do that)" The comment was that this song isn't inclusive enough for kids that are confused about their gender. Another person was talking about how her college professor never wants to say "he" or "she" during classes and how she believes that there should be boy, girl, and anybody bathrooms at all public places (I guess this is becoming a more common thing?).

If you are unsure of what you are, can you just pick a bathroom? I don't care which one you choose. I've used men's bathrooms myself before. Do you really need your own (for lack of a better word) neutral bathroom?

We are all so used to forms requiring you to pick male or female. One day will that just not exist at all?

[alayne926]

I think society is too much of a "quick fix" mindset.

Case in point-at work today, our patient came in because her foot pain is not getting any better. The doctor asked if she's been doing her exercises, icing, resting, etc. and she said, "When I have time." OK, so the doctor wanted to put her in a walking boot and give her a steroid pack. She said while pointing at the boot, "I'm not going to wear that, just give me the pills."

Next patient came in. She's had Achilles tendon pain for a few months. She asked the doctor if "we can just take it out to make the pain go away." .....

No crazy lady, if we take out your tendon, you're not going to be able to walk. She's also over 300 pounds, so you'd think MAYBE trying to lose a little weight would be a good idea if you're trying to get rid of FOOT pain!

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2016 12:38:08 GMT -5 alayne926 said:

I think society is too much of a "quick fix" mindset.

Case in point-at work today, our patient came in because her foot pain is not getting any better. The doctor asked if she's been doing her exercises, icing, resting, etc. and she said, "When I have time." OK, so the doctor wanted to put her in a walking boot and give her a steroid pack. She said while pointing at the boot, "I'm not going to wear that, just give me the pills."

Next patient came in. She's had Achilles tendon pain for a few months. She asked the doctor if "we can just take it out to make the pain go away." .....

No crazy lady, if we take out your tendon, you're not going to be able to walk. She's also over 300 pounds, so you'd think MAYBE trying to lose a little weight would be a good idea if you're trying to get rid of FOOT pain!

My UO:  Our society is getting dumber and dumber and dumber and it makes me want to slap people.

[alayne926]

Jan 7, 2016 12:57:33 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

Jan 7, 2016 12:38:08 GMT -5 alayne926 said:

I think society is too much of a "quick fix" mindset.

Case in point-at work today, our patient came in because her foot pain is not getting any better. The doctor asked if she's been doing her exercises, icing, resting, etc. and she said, "When I have time." OK, so the doctor wanted to put her in a walking boot and give her a steroid pack. She said while pointing at the boot, "I'm not going to wear that, just give me the pills."

Next patient came in. She's had Achilles tendon pain for a few months. She asked the doctor if "we can just take it out to make the pain go away." .....

No crazy lady, if we take out your tendon, you're not going to be able to walk. She's also over 300 pounds, so you'd think MAYBE trying to lose a little weight would be a good idea if you're trying to get rid of FOOT pain!

My UO:  Our society is getting dumber and dumber and dumber and it makes me want to slap people.

Not unpopular....

[Bluedaisy]

@jimbobcooter, I heart you!

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2016 13:03:07 GMT -5 alayne926 said:

Jan 7, 2016 12:57:33 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

My UO:  Our society is getting dumber and dumber and dumber and it makes me want to slap people.

Not unpopular....


****IN A BOX***


I sure hope not, but one of the dumb people might accidentally stumble upon this and disagree.

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2016 12:24:07 GMT -5 jessila said:

I don't remember if this one has been discussed here or not but I think waking a baby isn't too big of a deal. I know some children are not worth waking (I was one of them!) but my kid looks sad for 10 seconds then is happy to see you!


Another one--I think cumin smells like BO. At least in the middle of the night. I used it to make fajitas last night and smelled it all night long. I thought I was in gross need of deodorant until I realized it was my sweatshirt.


I let DH make the call on circumcision since I don't have a penis.

The common core thing (referencing the article posted) can be confusing but I realize that it's actually the way I've always done math in my head. I just never had to show my work instead showing the work for what would be memorized information. For some people it works really well. DH thinks it's stupid but he's some sort of math wizard.

And I'm glad to see that most people think breastfeeding in public isn't a big deal. So now can we stop posting about it? I NIP when needed but don't have to write a blog every time I do so.

SO MUCH THIS!  JFC enough with the AW-ish pictures and blatant attempts to start a debate over it all the time.  So you fed your baby.   Good for you. 

[alayne926]

www.facebook.com/attn/videos/976683092367150/

This seems relevant....

There's a debate on a friend's fb page about this...my favorite comment on it: "It doesn't mean they are gawking at them but not everyone feels comfortable sitting next to someone doing it out in the open. People are entitled to their opinions. I would never breast feed out in the open for everyone to see. I'm entitled to feel that way."

Exactly...EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION!! It doesn't make anyone wrong or right, just let everyone do what they want to make sure their baby is fed and happy and back off!

[ashbash]

So this appears to be unpopular....

I would never let DH have final say on something related to our son like circ- ing because he is a man and Im not.

While I do not have a penis, I am his parent and am capable of researching and making the best decision for out family WITH DH.

Besides any DH has only experienced one side of it, either being cut or not and has to speculate same as me about the other side

[ashbash]

Jan 7, 2016 13:45:10 GMT -5 @badwolf321 said:

Jan 7, 2016 13:38:15 GMT -5 ashbash said:

So this appears to be unpopular....

I would never let DH have final say on something related to our son like circ- ing because he is a man and Im not.

While I do not have a penis, I am his parent and am capable of researching and making the best decision for out family WITH DH.

Besides any DH has only experienced one side of it, either being cut or not and has to speculate same as me about the other side

I agree with you that its a decision to make together. 

Now I'm going to play devil's advocate. Are you a person that agrees with "no uterus no opinion"? 

Nope. But i do think its a different situation. For example with child birth and meds vs med free, that is something that is a decision effecting our child but also myself. And while I see parenting decisions as 50/50, not so much for myself. But if DH came to me with research and a strong conviction then I would value that and try to make the best decision for all of us.

[fatmilkisdelish]

Jan 7, 2016 12:38:08 GMT -5 alayne926 said:

I think society is too much of a "quick fix" mindset.

Case in point-at work today, our patient came in because her foot pain is not getting any better. The doctor asked if she's been doing her exercises, icing, resting, etc. and she said, "When I have time." OK, so the doctor wanted to put her in a walking boot and give her a steroid pack. She said while pointing at the boot, "I'm not going to wear that, just give me the pills."

Next patient came in. She's had Achilles tendon pain for a few months. She asked the doctor if "we can just take it out to make the pain go away." .....

No crazy lady, if we take out your tendon, you're not going to be able to walk. She's also over 300 pounds, so you'd think MAYBE trying to lose a little weight would be a good idea if you're trying to get rid of FOOT pain!

If exercise were a pill it would be the most prescribed medication on earth.

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2016 13:38:15 GMT -5 ashbash said:

So this appears to be unpopular....

I would never let DH have final say on something related to our son like circ- ing because he is a man and Im not.

While I do not have a penis, I am his parent and am capable of researching and making the best decision for out family WITH DH.

Besides any DH has only experienced one side of it, either being cut or not and has to speculate same as me about the other side

I am capable of all that  too but what do you then do if you know that you just aren't ever going to agree?   Fight with each other in the hospital in front of the nurses and doctors?  Go to court with your husband for a judge to decide?   Hide the baby so that the other doesn't get their way?   This isn't an issue where there is a compromise to be made.  It either happens or it doesn't.    Do I like that P was circed?  No.  But, realistically, having it done wasn't something that is going to negatively impact him for life.  This is a pick and choose your battles situation IMO  and the health and well being of my marriage and relationship with DH isn't worth damaging over this particular issue.   I haven't somehow handed him global control just because he's a man by allowing him to make the final choice about what my child's penis looks like.

[ashbash]

Jan 7, 2016 14:03:41 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

Jan 7, 2016 13:38:15 GMT -5 ashbash said:

So this appears to be unpopular....

I would never let DH have final say on something related to our son like circ- ing because he is a man and Im not.

While I do not have a penis, I am his parent and am capable of researching and making the best decision for out family WITH DH.

Besides any DH has only experienced one side of it, either being cut or not and has to speculate same as me about the other side

I am capable of all that  too but what do you then do if you know that you just aren't ever going to agree?   Fight with each other in the hospital in front of the nurses and doctors?  Go to court with your husband for a judge to decide?   Hide the baby so that the other doesn't get their way?   This isn't an issue where there is a compromise to be made.  It either happens or it doesn't.    Do I like that P was circed?  No.  But, realistically, having it done wasn't something that is going to negatively impact him for life.  This is a pick and choose your battles situation IMO  and the health and well being of my marriage and relationship with DH isn't worth damaging over this particular issue.   I haven't somehow handed him global control just because he's a man by allowing him to make the final choice about what my child's penis looks like.

No of course not, those are extremes. And of course I wasnt saying you could compromise on circing, like cutting off half

Your situation is what I was saying with compromise. You compromised what you wanted for the greater good of your family. So your DH didnt get to make the decision "because he has a penis and I dont". He "got his way" because of a compromise you made.

[Widget123]

Jan 7, 2016 14:35:05 GMT -5 @jemomma said:

Jan 7, 2016 12:24:24 GMT -5 Widget123 said:

I will say something potentially controversial for the sake of this thread not turning into another snoozefest. Please don't eat me alive; I am just hoping to spark some conversation.

I think the "gender is fluid" direction that society is going is getting to be extreme.

Background: This was a big topic of discussion at a New Year's Day party. Someone who has a You Tube channel was talking about a comment he got about a song that he wrote that says "If you are a boy do (this)" "If you are a girl (do that)" The comment was that this song isn't inclusive enough for kids that are confused about their gender. Another person was talking about how her college professor never wants to say "he" or "she" during classes and how she believes that there should be boy, girl, and anybody bathrooms at all public places (I guess this is becoming a more common thing?).

If you are unsure of what you are, can you just pick a bathroom? I don't care which one you choose. I've used men's bathrooms myself before. Do you really need your own (for lack of a better word) neutral bathroom?

We are all so used to forms requiring you to pick male or female. One day will that just not exist at all?

I kind of get what you are saying about certain things being taken too far, however, would it really inconvenience you at all to have another box that says "other" or something of the like next to "male" or "female"? Probably not, so  I don't see why there is such a strong opinion there.  The professor not addressing gender - that's their choice to make. It doesn't hurt anyone, why does it matter?

In terms of bathrooms - what's to stop "Joe rapist" from entering a women's restroom, claiming he identifies with that gender and then raping or molesting whoever may be in the restroom? This is an extreme example, however I think there are some people who would use the "use whichever bathroom you identify with" mentality to do some seriously awful things. If we see a man enter a women's restroom today, it's an automatic red flag - we would likely notify police or some other type of authority figure. If it became commonplace - nothing would happen, we wouldn't think twice about it.  I really do think that is the main reasoning for the separate bathroom - to not only protect the trans- man/woman/child, but to also protect everyone else from a terrible and preventable thing from happening. It's the most logical solution. 

Touche. Although I think most people aren't watching who is going in and out of restrooms enough to identify a man going in a women's restroom.  Many tend to be pretty secluded.

[ashbash]

Jan 7, 2016 14:35:05 GMT -5 @jemomma said:

Jan 7, 2016 12:24:24 GMT -5 Widget123 said:

I will say something potentially controversial for the sake of this thread not turning into another snoozefest. Please don't eat me alive; I am just hoping to spark some conversation.

I think the "gender is fluid" direction that society is going is getting to be extreme.

Background: This was a big topic of discussion at a New Year's Day party. Someone who has a You Tube channel was talking about a comment he got about a song that he wrote that says "If you are a boy do (this)" "If you are a girl (do that)" The comment was that this song isn't inclusive enough for kids that are confused about their gender. Another person was talking about how her college professor never wants to say "he" or "she" during classes and how she believes that there should be boy, girl, and anybody bathrooms at all public places (I guess this is becoming a more common thing?).

If you are unsure of what you are, can you just pick a bathroom? I don't care which one you choose. I've used men's bathrooms myself before. Do you really need your own (for lack of a better word) neutral bathroom?

We are all so used to forms requiring you to pick male or female. One day will that just not exist at all?

I kind of get what you are saying about certain things being taken too far, however, would it really inconvenience you at all to have another box that says "other" or something of the like next to "male" or "female"? Probably not, so  I don't see why there is such a strong opinion there.  The professor not addressing gender - that's their choice to make. It doesn't hurt anyone, why does it matter?

In terms of bathrooms - what's to stop "Joe rapist" from entering a women's restroom, claiming he identifies with that gender and then raping or molesting whoever may be in the restroom? This is an extreme example, however I think there are some people who would use the "use whichever bathroom you identify with" mentality to do some seriously awful things. If we see a man enter a women's restroom today, it's an automatic red flag - we would likely notify police or some other type of authority figure. If it became commonplace - nothing would happen, we wouldn't think twice about it.  I really do think that is the main reasoning for the separate bathroom - to not only protect the trans- man/woman/child, but to also protect everyone else from a terrible and preventable thing from happening. It's the most logical solution. 

As far as the professor I think problems arise when it is expected of the professor and if they dont then they called out for being insensitive and complaints filed and worst case losing their job. If doing so is of their own accord then fine but 99% of the population is certain of their gender so its common sense to use he/she unless a student requests other wise.

[beersandweirs]

I think the logic behind allowing people to use whichever bathroom they choose and having that contribute to more crime is flawed. I don't think that someone capable of committing these acts would be deterred by not being allowed into the opposite sex bathroom, I believe they would find a way regardless.

[beersandweirs]

@jemomma you're right, having "use whatever bathroom you like" bathrooms would get rid of the red flag that would arise if a man were in the women's restroom. However, I still think it is a good idea to enact in some capacity, and could save a lot of anxiety for those people struggling to choose in which bathroom they "belong"

[beersandweirs]

Jan 7, 2016 15:22:21 GMT -5 @jemomma said:

[quote author="beersandweirs "
source="/post/4541890/thread" timestamp="1452197252"] @jemomma you're right, having "use whatever bathroom you like" bathrooms would get rid of the red flag that would arise if a man were in the women's restroom. However, I still think it is a good idea to enact in some capacity, and could save a lot of anxiety for those people struggling to choose in which bathroom they "belong"

I'm really confused about the point for which you are arguing. The separate bathroom takes care of the issue of "which bathroom do I use." Which is what my original post was in support of.[/quote]


Fair enough, I don't think I read your original post well enough.  My point was I think the benefits to those confused about which bathroom to use would outweigh the risks of a man being in the women's restroom.  Which it seems we agree on.

[beersandweirs]

@jemomma I am pro unisex bathroom or use whichever bathroom feels right, if unisex is not available. I am clearly not doing a very good job at explaining myself.

[silv3rlining]

Re: circ. When I was pregnant with DS I was surprised to find out how controversial circ has become. For us it w as a non discussion, we knew if we had boy(s) they'd be circ'd. DH is, and for religious and health (my grandfather had to have his done in his 70s for health reasons) we knew it would be done. With that being said DS wasn't circ'd until he was a year old because he had to have surgery anyway (he had a concealed/hidden penis when he was born).

Eta: I think it's a personal choice for each family and I dnc what anyone else down with their son re:circ

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2016 12:12:36 GMT -5 beersandweirs said:

My UO (O,U) is that I don't think women should have to wear makeup in order to be considered professional. My mom doesn't agree.

I've worked with many executive level women that don't wear makeup. I've never seen it to be an impediment to promotion.

[Deleted]

Jan 7, 2016 16:58:42 GMT -5 carrots said:

I'm already anxious about when W is too old to use the women's bathroom in public and has to go in the men's alone. Sending my kid into a public bathroom unattended no matter what the gender of the kid & people around them stresses me out. Yikes.

I know that's not the point of these posts, but that's the feels I get from them. Also, I'm team single stall bathrooms so that no gender determination is necessary and I can always stand right outside the door when my child is in there alone.

I would just go in the men's bathroom with him. I don't think any of the men in there would care at all.