@poppyc8 I second a lot of what has been said. DS naps 9-10:30 which unfortunately is when toddler activities are so we invite friends to play here and he sleeps upstairs with white noise blasting while big kids play downstairs. While I am putting him down DD is locked in her room with the ipad. I found activities that happen at 11 so we switched to those.
Then from 11-2 I do anything in my power to avoid car naps - blast music, windows down etc.
Afternoon nap overlaps, I do DD1 first so its quiet while i get DS asleep. This nap must be 2 hrs so if he wakes before then i rock him back down as many times as needed or hold him in his dark room with white noise.
After months of several wakeups per night, we are now struggling with evening wakefulness. V doesn't go down until between 9:30-11:00 pm, even though he's napping per usual and nothing in his routine has changed. He is very chatty and moving during that time, so I do think the culprit might be the desire to practices new skills, but I'm so over it. He is attached to me for about 6 hours from the moment I get home from work, so I'm getting no time to myself and getting to bed several hours later than I want to, and then working all day and repeating. I can't wait till this phase passes.
We currently aren't going to bed until 10:30-11. I'm so over it too. I SAH so he is all over me at night when that's the only break I get when DH is home. This needs to end asap.
Ideally I think I need to get her to take a good nap before his playgroup but it's hard to force a nap
Especially in the mornings when you're trying to get everyone ready to go.
But if you could, that would probably help. I know BH takes his first nap between 7:30/8am (he usually falls asleep on the way to daycare. At home, that's just when we put him down). So we usually don't leave the house until he's up from that nap. I don't have a set playgroup, but I try to make our plans with friends for 10 instead of 9. (giving us about an hour to get out of the house and to our destination, you may be more effective at the getting out part than I)
Then both boys go down for a nap after lunch, so I don't have to worry about them waking each other up.
LO has been awake since 4.30. It's 6.30 now. She's finally asleep but the alarm will go off in fifteen minutes. Ever get the feeling that today will be a long day?
Post by wegrowsheep on Jan 12, 2016 1:37:12 GMT -5
Alright, going on 90 minutes of serious CIO sadness here. But since I didn't deal with this level of commitment to being awake with the last kid, can anyone tell me when I'm supposed to feed him if it's been 2 hrs since the last feed (and he's like clockwork), but he hasn't gone to sleep?
purple, I had a very long day last night into today. Not the baby's fault though. Lovely insomnia has returned.
Insomnia when the baby's sleeping is just rude :-( I had one night of that last week, but thankfully only a night!
We moved LO into her own room a week ago. She lulled us by sleeping through for the first two nights, for the first time in months. (She STTN from two to four months.) Since then she's had several pretty bad nights and a couple of better ones. She woke up at midnight and H took care of her, so I have no idea how long she was up for. At four thirty she initially just wanted a cuddle, but I was just about to put her back down when the wretched cat jumped on her. She was instantly wide awake and hasn't settled. Gah. The cat's only saving grace is that she didn't mean to wake the baby and has been trying to apologise to me ever since!
We're on wake up #3 here tonight and it's only 2:30. At least when she woke up at 9:30 my H took her. Granted, I don't know how long he was up with her because I passed out, but I know I was up with her at 11:30. Ugh.
Post by wegrowsheep on Jan 12, 2016 2:53:50 GMT -5
Sorry if this is annoying. Another update on CIO with Team Hold Me Every Fucking Moment: I put him in bed at 8:51. He FINALLY gave up at 10:45. I got him out of bed at 11:30 (3 hr mark since last feed), and put him back in bed at 11:40. He cried for <2 minutes, and was quiet for a few minutes, and then cried a tiny bit more.
It took DS1 27 minutes on his first CIO night. We didn't even get to the 15 minute intervals with him. This is proving more difficult.
However, he wasn't even sleeping well when cosleeping, and nursing was happening at every wake up (more than 4x a night), and he would scream if I laid him down. So last night at 2am, while he was in my lap, I decided today was the day. I can't function like this.
Much sympathy for those of you with awful sleepers. Last night felt like a bad night to me but your little boy sounds like really hard work, wegrowsheep. I hope he learns about sleeping soon, for all your sakes!
ETA: Hurrah, I managed to tag someone on my first attempt!
Sorry if this is annoying. Another update on CIO with Team Hold Me Every Fucking Moment: I put him in bed at 8:51. He FINALLY gave up at 10:45. I got him out of bed at 11:30 (3 hr mark since last feed), and put him back in bed at 11:40. He cried for <2 minutes, and was quiet for a few minutes, and then cried a tiny bit more.
It took DS1 27 minutes on his first CIO night. We didn't even get to the 15 minute intervals with him. This is proving more difficult.
However, he wasn't even sleeping well when cosleeping, and nursing was happening at every wake up (more than 4x a night), and he would scream if I laid him down. So last night at 2am, while he was in my lap, I decided today was the day. I can't function like this.
I know it's hard but it took us 45 min- 90 min (in 5-15 minute intervals) done over a few nights also to get it to work. I know you know this, but it hopefully will get much better tonight and tomorrow. I know what you mean though about no soothing working anymore. Fx things improve quickly and without too much more crying.
Post by wegrowsheep on Jan 12, 2016 6:49:32 GMT -5
4 hr feed update: The battle is going well, and we are winning! I just slept for 4 hrs. He did not cry going back in his bed (no idea if he was awake). On to 6:30!
wegrowsheep , huge hugs. We've done CIO with check-in intervals with DS when his sleep hits a rough patch, but it sounds like you've got a really stubborn one on your hands! I've had nights where I caved and fed him a bottle after about an hour of screaming (although he had slept a couple hours beforehand). I think overall it's helped our sleep immensely, though we still have our nights. I will say, I think the biggest help now is that when we know he's only crying because he wants to be held, once he realizes that we're not picking him up, he quiets down and goes back to sleep relatively quickly now. Hopefully things start improving for you soon!
wegrowsheep hugs hope sleep gets better for your little one
We had another rough night. I think it was 630 down then wake at 730, 1030, 1, 3, 4(poop at 4 again for 2nd night in row) then after that it got ugly. she wanted to be held from 4am on but I was too exhausted to do it so I kept putting her down and she would wake up every 15-30min. She fell back asleep at 630am.
Bumping this up because this shit is getting real and I want input.
P is getting worse and worse. Last night he was up every. 45. minutes. We cannot keep taking this. I did CIO with DS1 around this time, on the rare occasion he would wake up, but I truly do not feel P is ready for that. We tried that one day at nap time and he screamed for over an hour and then threw up on himself but never remotely got tired. He appears to still have legit needs overnight. He is eating 4-5 oz every time he wakes. Like ravenously sucking it down as fast as he could. We are feeding him oatmeal and fruit/veggies 3x a day and letting him eat whatever safe table foods he is interested in when we eat (But that is very limited for him. He's interested in bread and crackers for sure, but not much else. Just not ready...) in an attempt to ensure he is full and getting enough. He refuses food after a bit so he's getting as much as he wants. We've tried gone back to trying co-sleeping for comfort with no better results. During the day he is just starting to take one predictable nap around 1:30 pm, but it's still sometimes only for 30 minutes. We have always tried to put him down awake so he can get himself to sleep but from day one, he will. not. go. to sleep unless he's being held. Although overnight he doesn't get held when he wakes.
So aside from CIO what the fuck do we do? I know that SOMEDAY he's going to out grow this but I can't do this for two years while we wait.
Bumping this up because this shit is getting real and I want input.
P is getting worse and worse. Last night he was up every. 45. minutes. We cannot keep taking this. I did CIO with DS1 around this time, on the rare occasion he would wake up, but I truly do not feel P is ready for that. We tried that one day at nap time and he screamed for over an hour and then threw up on himself but never remotely got tired. He appears to still have legit needs overnight. He is eating 4-5 oz every time he wakes. Like ravenously sucking it down as fast as he could. We are feeding him oatmeal and fruit/veggies 3x a day and letting him eat whatever safe table foods he is interested in when we eat (But that is very limited for him. He's interested in bread and crackers for sure, but not much else. Just not ready...) in an attempt to ensure he is full and getting enough. He refuses food after a bit so he's getting as much as he wants. We've tried gone back to trying co-sleeping for comfort with no better results. During the day he is just starting to take one predictable nap around 1:30 pm, but it's still sometimes only for 30 minutes. We have always tried to put him down awake so he can get himself to sleep but from day one, he will. not. go. to sleep unless he's being held. Although overnight he doesn't get held when he wakes.
So aside from CIO what the fuck do we do? I know that SOMEDAY he's going to out grow this but I can't do this for two years while we wait.
Other than CIO, no advice. just hugs. T cried through his naps a couple days ago. It sucked.
He is actually asleep right next to me on the sofa right now. Going on half an hour now, which is miraculous. I am afraid to move him to the crib which means I am stuck sitting with him instead of doing all the other things I have to do, because I don't want him to wake up and fall off if I step away. I'm really sad that this sleep thing is causing me to not enjoy the baby stage as much as I did with DS1 because it's such a precious time. But I really need him to grow past this part now before I lose my mind.
Post by jillywilly on Jan 15, 2016 13:24:24 GMT -5
@jimbobcooter , have you tried extending the time between feedings? We're working on trying to get down to 1 night feeding, and we're getting close. When DS wakes, if it's been less than 5-6 hours since his last feeding, we pick him up and try to rock him back down, because I know CIO won't work for him if he's hungry, though we've used it when we know he just wants comfort. Sometimes we take him in the bathroom and turn on the exhaust, that tends to be magic to get him back to sleep. Even if he wakes shortly after being put back down, we've normally extended his feeding by a good 15-30 minutes. Knock on wood, but last night we went from 12:00-5:30 after doing this for the last couple weeks.
ETA - I was also going to say our naps got waaaay better after his night sleep started improving, but then DS woke up from a crap nap. Whomp whomp. Regardless, hope you're able to figure something out soon so you can all start getting some better rest!
@jimbobcooter , have you tried extending the time between feedings? We're working on trying to get down to 1 night feeding, and we're getting close. When DS wakes, if it's been less than 5-6 hours since his last feeding, we pick him up and try to rock him back down, because I know CIO won't work for him if he's hungry, though we've used it when we know he just wants comfort. Sometimes we take him in the bathroom and turn on the exhaust, that tends to be magic to get him back to sleep. Even if he wakes shortly after being put back down, we've normally extended his feeding by a good 15-30 minutes. Knock on wood, but last night we went from 12:00-5:30 after doing this for the last couple weeks.
We still do milk on demand so this definitely might be something to try, starting with day time feeds.
A good tip we got about MOTN feeds is to turn on a nightlight or hall light at each time that you plan to feed. Then LO knows that they're not being fed because they're awake, they're being fed because the light is on.
A good tip we got about MOTN feeds is to turn on a nightlight or hall light at each time that you plan to feed. Then LO knows that they're not being fed because they're awake, they're being fed because the light is on.
This is worth a try too. We usually keep his nightlight on all night so we'll try turning it off tonight.
So he took that 40 minute nap on the sofa this morning and has been fussy as shit since. I just finally cracked and marched him into his room, back arching, flailing, and screaming and laid him in the crib because he is so. tired. but just refusing to sleep and I'm tired of being stuck under him. He looked around at the room and his crib toys for five minutes then screamed for 30 but I completely ignored it. It just stopped and he is now asleep in the crib. FX he stays this way for an hour. 1 pm seem to be about the time he starts getting very sleepy every afternoon and is mostly likely to nap so I'm going to start pushing it on him at that time, religiously, no matter what ,and just let him CIO in an attempt to start any semblance of a routine. Seriously, I had no. clue. babies could be this difficult to regulate. None at all. I feel like a FTM with this one, even though I'm not. If DS1 had been this difficult about sleep I'm not sure P would exist. LOL
Post by beersandweirs on Jan 15, 2016 15:59:01 GMT -5
@jimbobcooter ugh, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time! I don't know how into "sleep systems" you are, but I know for me it helped to have someone just lay it all out for me, that way I didn't really have to think about it. We did the Sleep Lady Shuffle, but I know there are plenty out there.
@jimbobcooter ugh, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time! I don't know how into "sleep systems" you are, but I know for me it helped to have someone just lay it all out for me, that way I didn't really have to think about it. We did the Sleep Lady Shuffle, but I know there are plenty out there.
I'm seriously just ready to hire someone to come spend a week in the house with him to fix this for us while the rest of us go to a hotel and sleep because I don't know WTF I am doing at this point.
So sorry you're having such a rough time. I thought L was unsettled after moving into her own room ten days ago, but she sleeps like a champion compared to your P. Much sympathy!
So how long do I let this go over a nap? It is coming up on two hours since I first laid him down. he cried for 30 minutes, slept for 10, and since has been in a patterns of sleep for 10 minutes, scream for 5. He is so. exhausted. but just. won't. do it. I'm about to declare "nap time" over because two hours seems a reasonable expectation, but don't want to do it while he is screaming, lest he think he can just scream until he get's what he wants. It feels like a massive battle of wills right now. Fuck I hate this. I'm about to scream and cry too.
Post by beersandweirs on Jan 15, 2016 17:05:56 GMT -5
I think two hours is probably plenty. One of the things the sleep lady promotes is a 'dramatic wakeup' so whenever you go in to get baby from the crib, turn on the lights, talk to them in non-sleepy tones, etc. That way baby will eventually learn that it's okay to get up when mom or whoever does this, not just when they cry, does that make sense? I feel like I didn't explain it very well.
Also, if baby barely slept for the time you put them down, it's okay to put them down again when they show signs of being sleepy. Which I realize might be hard for you right now since it sounds like P is pretty sleepy all the time.
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