This might be it

[cst2cst]

After 2 years of waiting and one complex situation that didn't work out (CPS got involved at the hospital and kept the baby), we are matched with a mom. We found out on Wednesday that she chose us and we reviewed her info and decided to go forward. We talked for an hour last night and it went really well. She is so lovely and such a good mom to her kids. I can see her family becoming a part of our family over time. She wants an open adoption and so do we. She is parenting 3 children and has several stressors that prevent her from parenting this baby. She is being induced Monday.

After a long wait, this has happened so fast. I'm a mix of excited, nervous, hopeful, so happy for us but also aware that this is a loss for her family. We are deferring to what she wants at the hospital (we don't know what that is yet).

I'm putting together of bag of small things that I find comforting (tea, lavender body scrub, hot chocolate, cookies) and was thinking of getting her a subtle necklace with a garnet because she likes gemstones.

Anything else I should be aware of or thinking about? Tips?

[lizblue]

How exciting - congratulations! My only advice is to follow her lead, give her respectful space should she need it, and to give her as much time with her baby as she wants/needs. It sounds like you are already very much on this page and will do fine. The day that you meet her is only day one of your relationship together, so you have a lifetime together to work out any kinks.

Meeting my DD and her birthparents was the most surreal experience of my life. I barely remember parts of it, but I know that my knees were weak. I only wanted to convey to them how important they were to me and how much love I felt for them, but we also didn't really know each other either. We spent the day asking each other questions and getting to know one another better. They didn't want to say goodbye to their baby when we were in the room so we left them for 45 minutes so that they could have their time.

Best of look and congratulations again!

[redandblue]

Congrats! That is such wonderful news! The care package sounds really nice. We were not able to provide our BM with anything that looked like a gift (or payment) due to it being through CAS and a couple of other factors there. I love what lizblue, said about meeting her will be day 1 of your relationship. FX everything goes well next week! I will be thinking about you guys! Keep us updated All of your emotions are understandable and to be expected! If possible, take time to appreciate all the emotions. It will go fast! I would suggest if you can, or interested, perhaps journal your feelings (if you don't already do that). I really wish I had done all of that, but felt like things happened so fast, I didn't take the time to write it all down.

[frenchteachermama]

How exciting!!!! Keep us posted!

[pinkie]

This is so exciting. Both of our boys were short matches but not that short

My best advice is to try to have no expectations at the hospital. Remember this is special time for the EM and the baby and be supportative of the time she wants to spend with the baby. also be prepared some hospitals are more experienced with adoption than others. Like a pp said, just really try to let her lead things.

I think your care package sounds perfect.

I can't wait to hear more - once again congrats on your match and I'll be thinking lots of good thoughts for all of you!

[cst2cst]

Thanks, everyone! We heard from the case worker that EM also thought the call last night went well and that she was excited. It was a relief to hear that she liked us as well. At the suggestion of the worker we offered to drive her to her induction and she accepted. We found out that she wants baby in her room and wants us to be there with her. She wants us both involved in the birth. So, we'll continue to follow her lead regarding what she wants and needs.

My 3 year old dd asks almost daily when we will get a baby. We haven't told her about the match, she's been asking for about a year. Today I told her, "soon, I hope" and she said, " I think we already have a baby but we can't see her because she is in another house." She also said that she thought we would get a baby in 16 hours, on Tuesday night. Wednesday morning we got the call.

So far, this feels like a good match, but I know this is EM's baby until he/she isn't.

I'll update when we know more.

[pinkie]

That's so cute about your DD. Kids pick up on everything and maybe she heard something. I would do the same thing and not tell until things are more definite.

[gnomesweetgnome]

Congrats, that's exciting! I hope everything goes well.

[redandblue]

Any updates?

[cst2cst]

We got into town on Monday afternoon and helped The mom run errands before taking her to the hospital. She was induced Monday night. Around 5 am she asked for an Epidural and said she was progressing quickly. The RN didn't believe her but moved to get the epidural because she was complaining of so much pain. Once we were in the new room her water broke and they had to tell her not to push because the DR wasn't there. About 5 min later baby girl was born, a moment before the OB walked in the room. Mom was such a rock star.

She wanted to room in with baby so we've all been in the same room since Monday night. She's been nursing and we are sharing baby care. H went to the hotel last night and I stayed in the room. Her H is disabled and can't drive so we've been running a few errands for her and have brought him to the hospital twice. We've been able to meet her kids and a few friends. It has been so nice to get to know them so well.

Her attorney is here now meeting with them. I've been able to get pictures of both birth parents with baby. Baby is a little jaundiced today, so she is staying at least until tonight and maybe until tomorrow. Then baby discharges with us and our attorney can file with the court on Friday. Then we fine for interstate compact to allow us to go home.

The only thing that has been frustrating is the lack of communication from our agency. There are parts of the process that could have been done last week, but the worker took several short days and didn't work Friday, so nothing got done. Because of that, we have no "rights" at the hospital and baby will be legally discharged to mom, who will then leave baby with us. It has felt like we've been on our own to coordinate this. The hospital had no info from them and even mom has had a difficult time getting communication from them.

But, so far things are going better than I could have hoped and the baby is perfect and healthy and adorable. I'll update once everything goes to court.

[redandblue]

Totally tearing up reading your update!!! Thanks for keeping us posted and I hope the rest of your process goes smoothly! Glad everyone is doing well

[lizblue]

So happy for you all. I hope things continue to go well. Congratulations!

[packerfan4life]

What a great update! Thinking of you, birth parents and baby! I'm sorry you've struggled some with the agency. That sounds so frustrating

[daystardreams]

Congrats!!

[jwinct]

Congratulations!!

[browneyes8]

Congrats! So happy for you..... keep us posted. We stayed with DS1 birth mom in hospital too and it's a time I will always cherish!

[chele]

Very happy for you! How nice to read your story. Hope all is going well!

[cst2cst]

Everything has gone so well. We stayed the extra day and were discharged yesterday morning. We took BM to the pharmacy and then home. She asked us to lunch so we all went to lunch. Then we went back to the hotel.

We saw BM for a final visit this morning before the pedi follow up appt. it went really well. Ive been keeping updated on firsts (first night out of the hospital and first pedi appt). I'm so grateful for the 3 days we spent with BM getting to know and really enjoying being with each other. I have so many stories to share with baby when she is older.

The hospital staff could not have been nicer. This is seriously the nicest town I've been to.

And this afternoon we were granted legal guardianship and parental rights were terminated, so she is ours forever. We could not be happier. Now we wait for the final paperwork that will let us go back home.

[ceejay]

Congratulations!!!

[RajahMD]

Congratulations!

I hope you get the paperwork and can go home soon.