PGAL Check-in 1.11.16

[soultrane]

It's been a while since we've had one of these and based on some other posts, I think a few ladies could use an outlet to talk about pgal brain and their current anxieties. 


How far along are you?

How are you feeling physically/emotionally?

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced?

Any recent or upcoming milestones?

What are you doing to help manage pgal brain?


GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie? 

[nitecheese]

How far along are you? 17w 1 d

How are you feeling physically/emotionally? Physically, I feel wrecked. I have been having so much sciatic pain and round ligament pain. I remember feeling this way with DS but not until WAAAYYY later in the pregnancy. Emotionally, I'm doing pretty ok.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced? I read that second time moms often feel movement much earlier, so I've been hyperanalyzing every ripple, gas bubble and twinge, then panicking when I don't think it is movement. Ugh.

Any recent or upcoming milestones? My A/S is forever away, so no.

What are you doing to help manage pgal brain? I keep reminding myself that my losses were early and that the baby has been healthy so far. I also try to keep myself off the internets when feeling scared.


GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie? The Land Before Time was one of my favorite as a kid, but now I cannot watch it - it makes me cry too much!

[babyzebra]

I really needed this check in today. I used my doppler yesterday evening so DH could hear the HB. I thought it would be super easy to find the HB, but it took way longer than I thought it would. I started getting super panicky because I couldn't find the HB with my doppler with my first loss and I had already unknowingly lost the baby.

I finally found the HB, but still had a panicky look on my face. DH asked me why I looked like that and then I started sobbing and I cried for a long time. I was really shaken for a while last night, but am feeling better today. I'm going to put the doppler away. DH was right, I can't handle it.

[nitecheese]

Hugs, babyzebra. That's the entire reason I don't want to buy a doppler. I know I would scare myself silly. I hope you're feeling better today.

[teggy20]

Thanks for this check-in, soultrane. I've been feeling major anxiety.

nitecheese, sorry you're already in such pain! Also, I feel you about the movement. I do think I'm feeling movement a lot earlier than with DS, but every day I don't feel much, I get very nervous. It's all just such a terrible mind game.

Oh, babyzebra, hugs to you. That sounds like an awful experience. I was thinking about borrowing my friend's doppler and didn't for this exact reason. I just didn't think I could handle it. I'm sorry it took so long to find the heartbeat. Maybe it's good to put it away for awhile til baby is bigger and it's easier to find it quickly/you feel more consistent movement and can feel reassured by that?

How far along are you? 16w3d (but was measuring a week ahead at my last US, putting me probably around 17.5 weeks)

How are you feeling physically/emotionally? Physically, fine. My lower back has been aching a bit and I've had some RLP, but nothing crazy. Emotionally, all over the place. I had a quick heartbeat check last Monday and made my 20-week ultrasound appointment. I left there feeling a total mess. I miss the naivety of my first, pre-loss pregnancy. I was SO excited for this big appointment! I couldn't wait! Now I feel much more anxious than excited. I just wish it was here already.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced? Not really. Everything looks perfect so far, so just worried about anything else they may find during this US. Praying for a perfect, healthy baby.

Any recent or upcoming milestones? Feeling hugely relieved to be out of first tri and starting to feel movement!

What are you doing to help manage pgal brain? Staying busy with work, filling time with family and friends, yoga, cooking/eating healthy, getting outside whenever we can.

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie? Oooohhh. I loved Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Little Rascals and Willy Wonka.

[woodengirl07]

How far along are you?
18w5d

How are you feeling physically/emotionally?
Physically I'm pretty much good. Tired and hungry. Ha ha.
Emotionally I have been up and down the whole time. Something will happen that completely freaks me out like once a week (and always on the weekend. I've talked to the on call dr about 600 times.) but so far so good. We had an u/s last week and it looked good.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced?
I have high blood pressure that had been getting worse so I just had to up my meds. It's a little concerning but I keep thinking that the dr knows what she's doing and I'm certainly not the first or last patient that had hbp.

Any recent or upcoming milestones?
It's a Girl!!

What are you doing to help manage pgal brain?
Talk to DH, call the on call dr if I really need to, come in here


GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie?
The little mermaid! I was about 6 when it came out and I still actually love it.

[soultrane]

nitecheese, movement and lack of movement has been driving me crazy too. I hope it becomes more consistent soon so it helps to ease your mind!

babyzebra, that had to be upsetting. I'm definitely glad you were able to find the heartbeat though, even though it was difficult.

teggy20, I totally agree with you about losing the naivete and not being able to fully enjoy things because of it. I hope that your a/s comes quickly and that everything goes well. Also, Little Rascals!!!

woodengirl07,congrats on your little girl! Sorry to hear that you're dealing with bp issues though. Sounds like your doctor is paying close attention though so hopefully they keep things manageable for you and it ends up being a non-issue.

[soultrane]

How far along are you?
18w tomorrow

How are you feeling physically/emotionally?
Mostly ok on both fronts. Today at least. I was starting to get nervous after going a few days of feeling no movement (after feeling it at least a little every day) but it seems to have picked up again.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced?
Nervous and anxious about my a/s in a few weeks too. We didn't have the greatest a/s with DS and even though things turned out ok for him, I'm just extra nervous leading up to this one. I'm worried that we'll find out that this one has the same birth defect, or that something else will be wrong, even though the odds are in our favor. I've been on the wrong side of the odds before though so the numbers aren't overly comforting on some days. Bascially I just want to get past the a/s so I can let this anxiety go.

Any recent or upcoming milestones?
Nope. OB appt on Thursday on a/s 2 weeks from today

What are you doing to help manage pgal brain?
Trying to focus on the movement that I do feel. It really has made me more calm, even though it's starting to get a little uncomfortable already.

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie?
Hands down, Mary Poppins. Whenever we went to the video store to rent a movie (remember that??) I would pick Mary Poppins. It's still one of my favorites, and G loves it too now.

[vivela]

How far along are you? 17+4

How are you feeling physically/emotionally?
Physically, fine after a tough weekend. As the pain in my abdomen and back has faded, it's become more easy to identify as muscle pain. If that makes sense... Before it was just burning ouch that could be coming from a general area, now it is a slight ache that is definitely muscle. I tried to sit more today because I think this was all brought on by ignoring aches and pains all last work week. As a teacher, it isn't easy to find time to sit, but rather that that get into a state where I can't stand without pain at all. Gonna try yoga and see if that helps!
Emotionally, not too bad. This weekend was scary, even though I was fairly sure the whole time it would end up being RLP. I can see how the doppler is an added stress for some, but I've been lucky in that Tweetus is usually pretty easy to find and it has saved me a ton of unnecessary meltdown time.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced? Just the above. Though I'm starting to get a little nervous about not feeling movement (and I'm not sure I would know what I was feeling even if I did).

Any recent or upcoming milestones? 9 days until the A/S! I am nervous that something could go wrong, and excited to find out the sex.

What are you doing to help manage pgal brain? The doppler is a lifesaver. I can go from irrationally afraid to calm in 5 minutes.

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie? I loved Sleeping Beauty as a kid, watched it a million times.

[shan]

How far along are you? 18w6d

How are you feeling physically/emotionally?
Physically - horrible, but it is what it is.
Mentally - at the moment, I'm good.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced?
Anatomy scan next week. I have ALL THE CONCERNS.

* All is well, but could be trigger for some:

I bought a swing from someone and was going to pick it up last week. I had a complete meltdown on the drive there bc I was so unsure I would have a baby to use it with. I was a hot mess, but got the swing. I was too scared to even try my home Doppler bc I knew I was really unstable.

Because I couldn't shake my anxiety I decided to go to my ob for a Doppler check the next morning. I figured it would help settle my nerves.
Nurse 1 couldn't find the heartbeat with the Doppler. Doctor then came in and also couldn't find a heartbeat. I couldn't even speak. I just laid there with my eyes clothes. My doc flipped on the ultrasound and did a 10 second ultrasound. It was just long enough to see her heartbeat pounding away and her legs kicking around.

It took me two hours for my are adrenaline to settle down. It was awful.

Lesson learned: I'm never using my home Doppler again bc if two medial professionals couldn't find it - I can't count on it either.

Any recent or upcoming milestones?
My EDD for my loss is in three weeks. I planned to take that day off work bc I wasn't sure how I would feel and I wanted to be at home. Now, I have this huge project at work that is taking FOREVER. I'm worried it won't be wrapped up in time and I'll have to be at work.

What are you doing to help manage pgal brain?
My OBGYN is wonderful and has offered for me to come in for Doppler checks whenever I feel like i need them. I've taken her up twice now. That helps.


GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie?
We didn't watch many movies as a kid, and I was super sensitive so even Disney movies made me scared.

[babyzebra]

nitecheese I'm sorry you're having so much pain!

teggy20 and soultrane I feel ya on the anxiety for the a/s. I wish we could be blissfully naive about everything.

vivela I hope your pain continues to lessen. I'm glad the Doppler has been reassuring for you!

shan I am so, so sorry that you had that experience. Major hugs to you.

woodengirl07 I'm really sorry about the high bp. I know you're in good hands though!

[txmommy14]

Hugs, everyone! I'll tag when I'm not on mobile. PGAL sucks, even when we're all in the second tri, it's still awful.

I've been kind of a mess lately with the less than great anatomy scan, the ER visit for pain, and my last EDD coming up next week. I was thankful they didn't put me in the same ER room as last time in May with the loss, but that was still hard and brought back memories-especially since their paperwork had my miscarriage sono as a "comparison point." I know sono techs aren't allowed to say anything, but I almost had a breakdown during that 20 min sonogram in the ER that was in total silence-cue PGAL brain. Anyways, I can hear the HB, the odds are in my Favor with the anatomy scan findings, and I feel daily movement. I've been trying to move forward as if all is okay. On Saturdag, I really thought we'd leave the ER and i wouldn't be pregnant, so I'm thankful. To help think positive, I bought these yesterday:

[taberbtb]

babyzebra ((hugs)) it's scary when you struggle to find the hb. A loss moms thoughts always turn to the worst.

Joining check-in this week!

How far along are you? 16w5d

How are you feeling physically/emotionally? Physically I have felt much more cramping than I did with DD and I hate the feeling. It reminds me of my loss. Last time it was RLP, but this time it's definitely cramps. I have discussed it with the mw and she said its normal, but still worrisome. Emotionally, I'm as ok as I can be with what's going on physically.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced? Nothing new anyways. Just the usual.

Any recent or upcoming milestones? The EDD for my twins was last Friday and I handled it better than I have in past years.

What are you doing to help manage PGAL brain? Using my doppler all. the. time.

GTKY: The Land Before Time!!

[carriebradshaw]

How far along are you? 16w4d

How are you feeling physically/emotionally? Pretty good most of the time... I try to focus on the healthy pregnancy I had with DD and her when I get overwhelmed or nervous.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced? Nothing new, but since my miscarriage was in the second trimester and was a MMC I am constantly aware of how something bad can happen at any time with no sign. I still am a little paranoid/superstitious about talking about having a take home baby, and I am definitely waiting until after the a/s to buy anything or set up the new nursery.

Any recent or upcoming milestones? Feeling movement! That helps so much, although I do get a little freaked out when I realize I haven't felt it all day. Yesterday was the most movement so far, he/she was doing something in there that felt more like punches/kicks than tickling, which was amazing!

GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie? I think I watched Grease every Saturday morning from 3rd to 6th grade.

[pbandj714]

Thanks for posting this soultrane! I kept meaning to check in on my days off but got busy.

How far along are you? 15w6d with twins

How are you feeling physically/emotionally? Physcially, pretty good! The bump is growing, which is reassuring. Emotionally, good for the most part. Fear creeps in every now and again.

Any new fears or concerns that have surfaced? I had a doppler appt on January 4, and I've found myself nervous ever since. I keep thinking what if she didn't really find both of their HBs, and it was just one baby's HB she found twice? Irrational, but it's just been a weird thought I keep having. I think because I've gotten to see them on US every appt up until then.

Any recent or upcoming milestones? My first pregnancy EDD is coming up on February 2. I'm feeling pretty okay about it.

What are you doing to help manage pgal brain? I just keep focusing on my growing bump and looking forward to my appt next week!


GTKY: What is your favorite childhood movie? My favorite movie as a kid was 101 Dalmations. My mom said that when I was 4 I watched it literally every single day. Kept me busy while she dealt with my sister (a newborn at the time).