Talking points for potential known sperm donor

[klake42]

My wife and I are going to have a conversation tonight with my brother about him being a sperm donor for us to TTC using my wife's eggs.  We may go for reciprocal IVF (her eggs, my basket), or we may just inseminate her. 

What are good talking points?  I know that my brother is tentatively okay with doing this, but we'd like to have a good conversation to make sure we are all on the same page.  What would you talk about?

Our list so far: his parental rights and obligations (none, since we'll have them terminated)
how/when do we tell my parents
his role with the child
what/when we tell the child
how we involve him in a conversation about terminating a pregnancy (if it's not viable, or we're dealing with high order multiples)

What else?

[esquette]

Check out Blood tests/genetic tests/requirements from your state if you plan to go through a clinic.

An understanding of the requirements for him while donating: no hottubs, no smoking, etc.

Legal paperwork, re:paternal rights.

Probably your brother is a great guy, but dot your I's and cross your T's: this is your kiddo we are talking about. It's worth it to be thorough.

[crazyaunt84]

In addition to how/when to tell your parents, how and when will you tell members of your extended family? If the child strongly resembles him, questions may arise. In addition, when the child is old enough to discuss and understand his role they may feel hampered if the decision is made to keep his role as donor more hushed.

Is your brother married? In a serious relationship? If so, is he or she aware of the donation and on board? If not, does he intend to tell his future spouse or SO?

What if you want a sibling for your child in the future - would he agree now to future donations, or to donations being frozen for future use if you choose to use a clinic?