Parenting Check-in (Jan 18th)

[kh826]

Happy Monday!

Parenting Roster
healz413
Manada
kevinandjesse
foodislove
megd893
calsurb
andstilltrying
jazibel
kh826
karlamo
jgy
sherminator
mahler5
wittyandwaiting
kona
strings
mrsnorris
2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)
jennicole
amberreva
shemarie82
officerofthelaw
ionaerebor
firstcomeslove2013

*If you would like to be added to the list, just let us know!

So, tell us about your parenting experiences this past week? Any new milestones? Anything exciting in your house?

QOTW: So, they say that it "takes a village to raise a child" -- who is in your village? Do you wish your village was larger or smaller? Are there key people in your life that you wish would take a more active role? Tell us about the extended team that supports you/your family!

[kona]

O is 17 months.

She has really started talking a lot the past week. She is using her signs less and less which oddly makes me sad. I think it's just a sign that she is growing up and that's why it makes me sad.

She is great at giving hugs and kisses, including to her doggie. She like to feed and share with all of her toys. Including giving her helicopter a sip of water.

She also has started to do this thing where she screams at the top of her lungs, like a shrill screech. I really try to ignore it but she did it while we were out shopping yesterday and I didn't handle it well. She also likes to stand on her chair that she got for Christmas. With both things I feel like she doesn't 'get' discipline yet. Maybe I am just giving her too leeway, but you tell her to sit down and that we don't stand on chairs and she may or may not sit down. I don't feel like I have the tools to reinforce it though since she will be back at the same behavior again. It's not like we aren't consistent or firm. Is 17 months too young for discipline? If not, how do you handle it age appropriately?

She is still sleeping well for the most part. She slept 7:30-6:00 last night without any intervention from M or me. She did much better with naps this weekend too. I feel like we may have really turned the corner now.

QOTW: We don't really have a village. This is something that I worry about. I worry more about it if we have a boy at some point because we really don't have any guys consistently in our life other than our fathers. Our families haven't really stepped up in the way that M and I had hoped. I feel like we are being picky when I say that, they (mostly our moms) like to be around and would love to watch O whenever. It's more that we don't feel comfortable with them watching her. M has one friend who has watched O for us a few times. We don't really have a big social circle (which makes me sad but at the same time I don't have the emotional energy for that). I have really relied on M for my social connections since college. I would like to change this situation but I'm not good at meeting new people and when I do meet someone I'm too shy to take it further than a casual relationship. Not to mention most of the people I have met in my life in the past 10 years have been into running/triathlons and they were mostly empty nesters or people who chose not to have kids.

[2brides]

Highlights of the week:

- G got braces yesterday. He looks so old now.
- C and I figured out his science fair project and he is excited (which hopefully, will mean that working on it will not be like pulling teeth!
- They both watched "He Named Me Malala" and really liked it (after moaning about us making them watch it) and said it was, "inspiring." Parenting win.

QOTD: Not really. The kids' BFF's mother is our BFF. When all of the kids were in the same school, she could/would pick up the boys in an emergency and take them home in an emergency. And they spent the night there a few times when L was having medical issues and we needed to be at the hospital really early (they spend the night there for fun on the weekends, but not very regularly.) But now the kids are in different schools and we live 30m apart, so while we see them most weekends, but weekday stuff is hard.

We were hoping their Godfather would have a more prominent role in their lives. But he married a woman in the Foreign Service and has been living out of the country for most of the last 6 years. They are back in the area, but have a 2.5y so we don't see him that often.

Neither set of grandparents are local (L's parents are a 15 hr drive and my dad a 10 hr drive.) L's parents have come and stayed for extended periods when L's had surgery. But 90% of what they did was take care of L so I could take care of the kids (they were overwhelmed with 2 toddlers..) My dad thinks he wants to help, but after a few hours, he is over it. So, while he says he would like to be asked, we don't.

When they were younger, we really mourned not having a village. We never went on dates, no one ever came and took them, it was hard in a pinch...But as they have gotten older, it has become less of an issue. They can go to Parents Night Out, the spend the night with friends on occasion, they can entertain themselves so we can have lazy mornings/afternoons.

[mahler5]

C is 23 months old.

We got her bangs cut again today after I got my hair cut. My hairdresser works from home and has a 2 year old so she has plenty of toys to play with. It usually works out pretty well, and she is obsessed with their cat!

We have been cooped up inside a lot because it has been so cold and/or snowing. We did get a few snow outings last week but the last couple days it has been way too cold to go out. C is definitely getting bored when we stay in. I really think part-time daycare will be really good for her starting in a few weeks!

We are headed to Atlanta this week so hope she does well in the car. She hasn't seen her cousins in over a year and hasn't met her new cousin so it should be fun!

kona-- c stands on chairs too and it drives me crazy. She is much better about it now. It's one thing I've been pretty consistent about for the last 6 months or so. At first she wouldn't listen at all, so I would have to take her off the chair. Then she would listen about half the time. Now she will sit back down almost every time I ask and stands up less unless she is really trying to reach something. I wish I could say we are consistent with other behaviors too but we aren't always, unless it is something dangerous or really annoying to me, or hurting others Etc. I did a modified timeout thing a few times a few months ago where I would pick her up and hold her for 30-60 seconds when she did something bad like run into parking lot at park or not stop running away from me etc. I haven't done it so much now but she is getting closer to two so I think I'm going to start doing this or a timeout in another area soon. A lot of times removing her from situation or what she wants seems to be enough punishment. But then she will throw things and I haven't gotten her to stop that yet, so maybe it's time for timeouts!

QOTW-- L's parents are both here and watch C for a few hours about once a week. They are both really good with her but because L's mom has Parkinson's it's hard for them to watch her for a long period of time. L's dad loves seeing her but I don't think he likes dealing with some of the caregiving stuff for an extended period of time. My brothers are a few hours away and my mom, so that's great. She Comes down once a month. I do worry about her having enough male role models but she has some at least. I have a few close friends with kids close to her age that I trust to watch her so that's good.

[Deleted]

J is 5. Transitioning to a blended household still ongoing. He misses the girls when they aren't here, and is easily frustrated when they are... but its overall much smoother. He said the other day rather casually well, R is my other mother... and my hear stopped. Yes, Im glad hes bonding to her and they clearly love one another... and NO I didn't freak out. and yes, hes trying out all these things/relationships- ie hes equally likely to say - you aren't my mom to her.. and even so. it squeezed my heart just a little. I responded appropriately, but I need to work out this on my own some. lots of conversation to come. Ah, my guy. His heart. Its big. Just mine is 2 sizes too small.

[jgy]

Jan 21, 2016 0:20:22 GMT -5 @sherminator said:

J is 5. Transitioning to a blended household still ongoing. He misses the girls when they aren't here, and is easily frustrated when they are... but its overall much smoother. He said the other day rather casually well, R is my other mother... and my hear stopped. Yes, Im glad hes bonding to her and they clearly love one another... and NO I didn't freak out. and yes, hes trying out all these things/relationships- ie hes equally likely to say - you aren't my mom to her.. and even so. it squeezed my heart just a little. I responded appropriately, but I need to work out this on my own some. lots of conversation to come. Ah, my guy. His heart. Its big. Just mine is 2 sizes too small.

Hugs, Sherm.

That's a tough one.  You want your kid to have the benefit of that kind of relationship, but don't want to give up your special bond.  And you won't!!!!  You know.  I don't need to tell you. 

[Deleted]

Thanks. It sucks, and it doesn't suck. All at the same time. Luckily R is very gentle w me about it, so I don't come unspooled and aware of letting him take the lead. She will ask at bed time- hug or no hug tonight? and let him take the lead on that. Little stuff.

[sdfonz619]

I would love to be added to the list for check ins.