Toddler disciplining himself?

[somebabiesmom]

A few times now, DS has taken matters into his own hands. We've found him on his timeout chair a couple of times just sitting there. I don't know if he did something and he's punishing himself, trying to stock up on some hard chairtime so he doesn't have to do a timeout later, or if he's thinking about doing something that he knows he's going to get a timeout for. The last time he did it, he even gestured to me to turn on the timer. When I didn't, he just said "Beep! Beep! Beep!" and climbed off.

I have also taken toys away from him when he's supposed to be going down for a nap and is playing instead. Now, when it gets to that point in our "negotiations," he says "take away" and gets rid of them himself.

Prior to this, he would do what he wasn't supposed to be doing while saying what we would say to him while he was doing it. E.g., he would stand on the couch while saying, "Sit down! Sit down!"

I don't know what to make of this. Any insight? And, dear god, if I'm doing something wrong, don't be all honeycombs and sunshine about it.

ETA: details.

[queenbabee]

No help to offer as LO is still an infant, but THIS. IS. HILARIOUS

[Pevensie]

I wouldn't overthink this one. Seems like he's putting together cause and effect. If he was getting really mad at himself - hitting, yelling, inconsolable - then I would call the pedi to talk it through.

I WOULD, however, take video, because it sounds pretty cute and you'll want to rewatch it one day.

[mommyatty]

This is actually age-appropriate. Maybe a little ahead of the curve. He's learning self-regulation and right now is acting the whole thing out instead of just having an inner monologue. Instead of thinking, "If I throw my toy at Mommy, I will get a timeout," he thinks about throwing the toy and then goes and acts out his timeout.

DD talks her way through these. She will suddenly look up and say, "I don't spit at school." Okay. "If you spit at school you get a timeout. Luke got a timeout for spitting." Then I realize that she was getting frustrated and was probably thinking about spitting and realizing she was going to get in timeout for it.

[supertrooper1]

DS does something similar. We can see the wheels turning when he wants to do something we've told him before that he shouldn't do, so he'll point at whatever it is and say "no, no, no," like he's reminding himself that he's not supposed to do it. When we first started doing time outs, he wanted a time out because he saw the bigger kids at DC being put in time out. So he'll occasionally sit in his time out area, even if he hasn't done anything wrong.

[2chatter]

Be grateful - starting at 2 I would discover DD in timeout and she would refuse to tell me why she was there. It was so frustrating and was all about control. She accepted the punishment but didn't want me to know the crime. It wasn't until I found the evidence of the crime (cheese wrapper on the counter when she was told no snack we were about to eat or markers under her bed) that I would figure out why she was there.

DS does this now but he always tells me why if I ask "I hit my sister and she's crying", etc.

[alioop1028]

This made me lol. I love it!
I don't have a toddler but one of my close friends does and when timeout didn't work she started doing a reward system that seemed to work.

[callmeKD]

I think it's normal too. my DD (almost 21 months) puts herself in a "timeout" (used loosely here) when she is having a fit and needs a minute to calm down. she learned this at DCP and we say to her, when she's have a temper tantrum, "do you need a minute?" she nods and will go to her spot to cry & calm down.

[mustardseed2007]

Wow. What do kids need us for? I agree about him putting together cause and effect. My kid doesn't do this, but that would be my guess as well.

[duckker]

Am I a terrible person because I immediately thought you should start using light household chores as disciplinary measures? I mean, how amazing would it be if LO started to tantrum, etc., and then picked himself off and ran the vacuum or wiped the baseboards? I'm just saying... I hope this is an actual legit phase, because I have big plans for babygirl now.

[litzo27]

DS2 occasionally will get angry when I'm not letting him do something and will announced "Well I'm going to my room to a time-out!!!" As if he's punishing me. DS1 has once exclaimed "I will go away and I will be lonely and sad and you'll be sorry!"

[songbirdsinging55]

I think this is the cutest thing I have read all day. No advice here but I second the others in recommending video taping it for later.

[wineistheanswer]

I agree with pp's that he's processing cause and effect.

Also, that's adorable.