Post by honeybee434 on Jan 24, 2016 19:41:37 GMT -5
I'll start:
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions?
I think three kids. I loved having two siblings and I love that DH does as well. It makes family time a lot of fun, and helps with a lot of things.
What is your realistic family size?
I think 2 LO's
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had?
I sometimes feel guilty stopping at 2 because of how much DH and I love our siblings. I know that sounds stupid, but I don't want DD to be missing out on something we both appreciate and love so much.
What do you think has affected your family size the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc)
We started in our 30's and I don't love the idea of having kids every 2 years to get them in before I feel like my age is hindering me. It also seems really hard to imagine having 3 kids under four, and daycare for 3 is $$$. If I had been able to space them out a bit more to maybe have some of them 3 or 4 years apart that would have helped a lot, but DH and I would like to be done having kids by the time I hit 35/36. Which means after this one we could try to do a summer/fall 2018 baby as a last attempt, but then we have the 3u4 and daycare $$ issue.
Ideal family size: I have no idea. I used to think I'd be up for 4+, but with the 2u13 months I feel so burnt out and like I'm sleepwalking through so many big milestones already. I couldn't stand the thought of being in the tired newborn haze while my oldest kids are going through middle school stuff. So 2 is good with me, at least for the foreseeable future. (I guess that's also my realistic size, since I am exhausted and content with what I've already got.)
Definitely affected by my and DH's family sizes (we are each the oldest of 5 kids). Our parents tell us all the time about how "Oh, just wait til you have 3 kids and you're outnumbered... you switch into management mode instead of one on one." And I get the practicality of that, and maybe it doesn't have to be so heartless when implemented, but MAN it really sucked for me being the oldest. I'm a bit more emotionally needy than my siblings, but I was pretty ignored most of the time because I was one of the "easy" ones to deal with usually. Management mode was really damaging and hurtful to me. I felt so alone and misunderstood by my parents, and I still don't have a great relationship with them. I really don't want the size of our family to be something that stands in the way of me being able physically to have one on one time and deep, meaningful connection with my kids.
What has affected our family size "planning" the most.... I'm tired, DH is tired, and even though he does a good job of trying to be 100% working and then 100% family man when he's off, he has expressed many times to me that he fears he might not have the capacity to spend time with more littles. His dad worked long hours and then totally checked out from family life when he was off, and that is a big thing DH wants to avoid at all costs. We're also not rich, so realistically, I don't know how we'd support more babies with our current income.
Post by littlemissmarla on Jan 24, 2016 19:47:38 GMT -5
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? If we had no limitations, probably 4-5
What is your realistic family size? I'm thinking 3
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? Possibly, my brother and I are 10 years apart so I really felt like an only child growing up. I always surrounded myself with lots of friends because I never felt like I had a sibling and I still see others with siblings and definitely get jealous. DH is the middle of 3 boys and he is really close with both of his brothers, in a perfect world I'd prefer not to have a "middle" child but I know I want more than 2.
What do you think has affected your family size the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) As of right now I am young and we have to go through IVF anyway so I don't really factor in time in the decision, if I go through IVF now or in 7 years it's still going to be a struggle. I would also say we don't have the room to raise more than one right now. We could def do another baby but I would want to be out of here before baby turns into a toddler, we rent the upstairs apt from my parents and I would like to buy my aunts house next door to us (they want to move down the shore), DH is not keen on staying in our city but I'm not moving far from my parents. Also, I need to get a contract teaching position, until then and Zoey gets herself situated with therapy and we see exactly what is going on, baby #2 is on hold.
Post by honeybee434 on Jan 24, 2016 19:51:50 GMT -5
Liv Thank you for posting the part about your feelings growing up. I hadn't really considered that part. I know DH's brother has some issues with his parents being the oldest, and I never really considered that point of view until I read your post. My brothers were so much older than I was so i was almost like an only child, and we didn't really have to "share" our parents as much as we would have if we would have been more normal age differences apart. That actually helps me a lot!
(Also thank you for adding the word planning. I edited my original questions )
Liv Thank you for posting the part about your feelings growing up. I hadn't really considered that part. I know DH's brother has some issues with his parents being the oldest, and I never really considered that point of view until I read your post. My brothers were so much older than I was so i was almost like an only child, and we didn't really have to "share" our parents as much as we would have if we would have been more normal age differences apart. That actually helps me a lot!
(Also thank you for adding the word planning. I edited my original questions )
I'm glad it helped! FWIW, both of my parents are the youngest in their families, so I don't think they had any concept of what older kids might feel growing up. They usually villianized their older siblings in stories to me and were super conscious of not giving me "special treatment" (that usually meant making sure they didn't spend one on one time with me-- there was always another sibling tagging along even when I asked if I could just talk with my mom or dad. I'm sure that there are so many ways things could have been different and it would have been so helpful!) so I always felt like the oddball or like it was destined that my younger siblings would resent me no matter what I did. All that being said, I know so many families that do the 3+ kid thing so well and they're all really tight! I just never experienced that.
Post by isolemnlyswear on Jan 24, 2016 20:10:05 GMT -5
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? This is hard for me to answer. DH and I both take it a kid at a time. I always thought I'd only have 2 DH has mentioned 4.
What is your realistic family size? I think we will be done after 2.0
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had?
Absolutely. My parents both came from large families (6 & 7). It's just my sister and I. We got to do so many great adventures as a family because my parents could afford it. If they would of had more children they would not have been able to. I think family experiences are so important and I have such a wonderful relationship with my parents and sister.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc)
Financials: being able to provide the type of life we'd like. (Vacations, sports, music lessons, cars, college)
DH'S mental Illness: OCD is gentic. Every time we have a child we run the risk of passing that onto them. We were unaware with C and 2.0 but now that we do know it is something we very much consider.
Post by jnnfrrose6 on Jan 24, 2016 20:18:53 GMT -5
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? 2-3
What is your realistic family size? 2-3
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? Probably for me. It was just my brother and I, 15 months apart so I never felt like we were ever missing out or lacking of anything and I/we could do the same with about the same number of kids. No telling for DH. His sister is 12 years older, so he was basically an only kid growing up and I think he'd have as many as he felt he could financially handle.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Age and financials. DH wants to be done by the time he's 40 because of where that puts him when kids are going into college. Because of the age difference with his sister, his parents were always the oldest amongst his peer group and he saw the difference. He'll be 40 in 2 more years so the window is getting sampler for another, plus the whole looking for a job situation for him right now. We'd also have to make our home bigger if we have another (one more bedroom and a family/playroom) as we really love our home and neighborhood and don't want to move. I go back and forth everyday on if we should have a third because of my lack of patience and wrangling the kids and adding another to the mix some days seems like an awful idea.
Post by soon2bmrsn on Jan 24, 2016 21:51:47 GMT -5
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? I'm going to stick with what we have -- three.
What is your realistic family size? Three. Honestly, as I've said before, we were done with two (with maybe a 1-5% part of both of us wanting a 3rd/not ready to be out of the newborn stage quite yet), but obviously we are thrilled that DD was a surprise. I don't know how I could have missed out on having a daughter OR watching my DH father a daughter (he's mush, you guys...it's insane!) tl: dr - we're done!
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? Definitely. DH and I both came from families with just two kids, his sister has two kids, and I really think we just saw that as the normal, acceptable number. We were both kind of surprised when we were excited to have #3!
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Sanity! I love my family and would not change a thing, but whoa. It's chaotic. And a little financial. We are serious savers/planners and DH wouldn't want to pay for college for any more than we have.
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? No. We are surrounded by varying numbers in our families so we have seen it all. Both good and bad.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Finances. We are both savers and it is important to us to save for their college and our retirement.
Post by anotherdreamer on Jan 25, 2016 2:15:59 GMT -5
Hm. 3, with no restrictions... maybe 4.
We wanted 2-3 kids, infertility kicked our asses so after DS we said we would do treatments for one more and leave the third up to chance down the road. Got pregnant with #2, found out it was really #2 & #3! Yay, done.
We were very lucky. DH has mentioned a 4th but between the current chaos, job loss, DS issues, and physical issues we've both been dealing with... I don't see that happening.
DH and I both had 4 siblings growing up, albeit different situations. Most of mine are half siblings so shared homes were off /on over the years, his are all full and they grew up together. It definitely influenced us because neither one of us wanted 5 lmao. Nope. But we did want our kids to have a sibling, that was important to us.
Family planning... we spent a lot OOP$ on fertility treatments over the years. Every bit of money that could have went to savings went to feed the beast. Finances have definitely played the biggest part in it over the years. Now that we have three I feel comfortable where we're at- we are leaning towards being done, mostly because I'm convinced raising DS will be the death of me and God help me if the twins are the same. The constant state of being overwhelmed is hard these days- I miss having a squishy a lot, but them my DS hauls off screaming like a banshee or hitting one of the girls and I'm like... naw, I'm good.
Post by hurricanerek on Jan 25, 2016 7:58:18 GMT -5
Ideally I would like 6 kids. Realistically we would like 4.
Dh and I are both one of three. That has made us not want an odd number of kids so there is no 'middle child'. I think about spacing a lot too. My sisters and I are each 5 years apart, so I'm 26 and my sisters are 21 and 16. I never really felt like my sisters were my friends because we were always at such different stages of life. Just now, I'm almost at a friendship point with the 21-year-old. I'm hoping that by having our kids 2-3 years apart, they have a better chance at friendship with their siblings.
I don't think I've been limited in my family size planning except by Dh's desires.
Post by ladytiffany24 on Jan 25, 2016 8:29:01 GMT -5
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? Probably 3 or 4.
What is your realistic family size? I'd say 2.
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? I would say so, yes. I was the middle child and I HATED it. Everything you can think of with middle-child syndrome, I feel like I experience. My older sister was daddy's girl and my younger brother was (and still is) a mama's boy. And then there was me. So I'd love to avoid having a middle child because those feelings run kind of deep for me.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Honestly, mostly financial. We do well, but we also want to KEEP doing well and have a nice future. Maybe it sounds selfish, but we'd also like to have a nice retirement. I'm also 33 and while I realize in the grand scheme of things that's not that old, I don't want to be too old when all of my kids are finally graduating high school. So I'd say age does play a role in it as well.
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? Probably 4
What is your realistic family size? 3-4
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? Yes, definitely. I'm an only child, and my DH is one of 5. Growing up I always wanted a sibling, and as an adult it would be nice to have one to help handle my parents. DH loved being in a big family growing up, so I think always envisioned having several kids.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Age, financials, and pregnancy. I think after this pregnancy I will feel done. So many things came up, I don't know if I could go through it again. Also realizing how exhausted I'll be all the time. We may reevaluate in a few years, but as of now I'm thinking this will be my last.
H and I each have one younger sister (H also has an older half sister that he never really knew growing up), and it was a good dynamic. Always able to parent man-to-man, and never have to go zone defense. Our moms both come from large families, and we've heard a lot about the struggles of that, but also seen the benefits of having your siblings to lean on. Or hate on, depending on the day!
I know I don't want to go through 3 pregnancies, so that's part of it for me (although twins run in my family, so we could end up with more than 2 total kids out of 2 pregnancies). We also live in a very HCOL area, so daycare, bigger house, etc. are factors that confirm our decision (but should actually probably push us to be OAD if we were more realistic)
It's interesting to read everyone's inputs about spacing. My sister and I are 4.5 years apart (I'm older), and H is about 6 years older than his sister. I agree with hurricanerek that it wasn't until my sister was in college that we started to be able to relate to each other, but I'm also looking forward to LO being big enough to "help" when we decide to have the next one. I'm shooting for #2 to be 3.5-4 years younger, partway just because of $ for daycare and college (we'll start TTC just before LO turns 3) and so that they'll be a little closer in age than either side of our family.
Liv, I don't think people give enough credit for being the oldest. It's hard work! In my immediate family, every one else is the second kid (dad and sister are 2/2, mom is 2/5), and they would give me a hard time about being the oldest. My mom is a teacher, so pays attention to stuff like this and is always making offhanded comments about "classic firstborn" traits that are not necessarily favorable. Especially because she doesn't like her older sister, nor my dad his older brother. I'm the oldest cousin (I think I have about as many cousins as you have siblings), but I felt a lot of pressure to be a good example for all of them growing up.
same, same, same liziz! My parents were very derogatory about their older siblings, and made me feel like every flaw I had was "typical firstborn" stuff. Oldests get some perks (I have more baby pics than my sibs, but honestly that has no real impact on my adult life!) but a lot of blame and responsibility too. And in my case, a lot of neglect. My DH is also the oldest in his family, so we especially sensitive to all of that, and plan to be really careful with how we shape expectations and conversations with Juniper.
same, same, same liziz ! My parents were very derogatory about their older siblings, and made me feel like every flaw I had was "typical firstborn" stuff. Oldests get some perks (I have more baby pics than my sibs, but honestly that has no real impact on my adult life!) but a lot of blame and responsibility too. And in my case, a lot of neglect. My DH is also the oldest in his family, so we especially sensitive to all of that, and plan to be really careful with how we shape expectations and conversations with Juniper.
FWIW, I think you guys are already doing a good job just by being aware of it. You know how much that one-on-one time would have meant to you, so I'm sure you'll schedule it with J (and with C, too!). I have to hope that everyone is just parenting the best way they know how, and give my parents the benefit of the doubt.
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? If I had the patience of a saint and lots of money, I'd actually love a huge family of like 5 kids. But I have neither.
What is your realistic family size? 3 kids.
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? A little bit. I think it's why we both want 3 and I think DH wouldn't mind more but he also wants our kids to have experiences he didn't get to have due to his parents financial situation and the difficulty of having 5 kids doing 5 different activities and whatnot.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc). Knowing our limits as far as patience and what we can offer our kids as far as attention goes, and definitely financials. Also, I realized being pregnant when you have small kids at home already isn't nearly as fun as when it's just you and you can rest when you want to, so that coupled with not being a big fan of the infant and toddler stage means I don't want to be doing this for years and years to come. I hate that my kids are growing up so fast but there's a lot I look forward to doing when they're all more independent.
Post by mamanorris on Jan 25, 2016 11:40:40 GMT -5
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? I always say my heart will never be done. I want all the babies.
What is your realistic family size? We are leaning towards 2, but have started talking about fostering. We still have room in our hearts and lots of love. We would have to Move to a bigger house. This isn't our forever home so it's not a big deal.
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? DH grew up with 1 brother and I have 2 full siblings and 3 half. I think dh likes the idea of 2 because he grew up in a small family and I am the opposite. Being surrounded by kids is natural for me but I have days where I think I couldn't possibly handle more. I also parented my younger siblings because there was a 10 and 15 year gap. Sometimes I wonder if I have been "mothering" for so long that that's all I think I can do.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Finances and age have played a big part. DH is 41 and I am 34 so we are getting up there in child bearing years. I grew up poor so it's not a stretch for me but DH grew up in a upper middle class home. Being financially stretched weighs more on him than it does me.
Post by stellabunny on Jan 25, 2016 12:47:29 GMT -5
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? 1
What is your realistic family size? 1
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had?No. I was the middle of three. DH was the oldest of three. But are done with one.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc)More than anything, our little family just feels totally complete. Also, money. Daycare is expensive and I like not having to watch every single penny and as it is now, I don't.
Also, DH turned 53 the month after DD was born. And I was 34 and have arthritis issues. At our ages, we only have it in us for one. But it's a REALLY good one!
For those worrying about age difference, my younger sister is 9 years younger than me and I was/am closer to her than my older sister that is only 2 years older. Now that I have a daughter, my older sister and I have more common ground (she has two daughters), but there's still a little more distance than there is with my little sister.
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? 2
What is your realistic family size? 1-2
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? We are both the youngest of 3 with some big age gaps. We waited a while to have kids because we weren't even sure we wanted them. I think sometimes being the youngest and not being around young kids growing up was part of that.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Honestly, I'm totally selfish. Grace is a fabulous sleeper and a pretty good kid minus the occasional normal temper tantrum. Why would I want to go back to the sleepless newborn days?! We make a good living and having 2 in daycare would change our lifestyle (travel, my amazon addiction, etc). Also, we moved from the east coast to Texas so we are not near our family and friends. When you have to do everything with no one around to help or hang out with, makes it less fun. Maybe if we move back, we'll consider more.
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? Three
What is your realistic family size? Two kids from me and Dh. He has 4 kids and is adamant about not having more.
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? DH grew up with a twin and a younger brother (4 years apart). I have one older sister. I have lots of cousins around my age that I grew up with. I always wanted a big family because of this.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Money for sure. Hcol and two step kids (child support any both in private school) and our kids drain us. I want to be able to afford vacations and things for them. Also, Dh is almost 38. He doesn't want to be in his 60s with high schoolers.
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? If I had endless patience, time and money 2-3
What is your realistic family size? We are probably OAD
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? I have one brother we were close growing up, but when he got into high school he started getting into drugs and has had addiction problems on and off his entire life. DH has one younger brother, then 5 step-siblings Some older some younger. I would like DD to have a sibling but I don't think we could handle it
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Lack of time and lack of help. My age definitely factors into it, if I were younger when I had dd and could space them 4 years apart we would probably have another, but I just turned 33 and that would put me at 35++ for the second and I doubt I will want a newborn by then. DH has been saying OAD since we had dd. We are both very used to being able to do what we want when we want and he has a hard time dealing with not being able to anymore. Also, lack of help from my mom - (who says I should have another, hah!) DH helps some but not enough, I work 40+ hours a week but also do 98% of everything for dd.
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions?
2 kids. Because sanity.
What is your realistic family size?
2 kids, also because sanity.
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had?
Eh, maybe? I had one brother. DH had 2 older brothers. I think mostly it comes from neither one of us wanting to manage much more than that when we get home. We manage people all day at work.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc)
Age, finances, and DH living with his brother for a couple years. DH used to want a lot of kids. Then he lived with his brother's 4 kids. Nipped that right in the bud. We really only want as many kids as we can comfortably afford and take care of. I figure a 1 to 1 ratio is fair.
Post by surfmama106 on Jan 25, 2016 22:22:41 GMT -5
Ideal family size: I'd love 5 kids. I always wanted a big family, but now as an adult 5 just seems like too many.
Realistic family size: we will definitely be having a 3rd. Most likely sooner then later.
Ideally I'll get pregnant in Aug/Sept and have a May/June baby.
This will have me with 3 kids under 3 and 35 and DH will be 40. I feel like that is manageable for us financially.
I am one of 3 and DH is one of 2. I liked having siblings and want the same for my kids. Seems like it would be more fun for family vacations etc.
If I'm being honest with myself I would really want 4 (2b and 2g) so they each could have a brother and a sister. But I'll take whatever life thinks I can handle. Babies are precious and I'm just so lucky to have what I have already.
Post by hurricanerek on Jan 26, 2016 7:53:21 GMT -5
Wow surfmama106, that's a fast time line! I'm sure it would be challenging while you have a newborn but they would all be so close in age and have so much fun together!
I have a friend who's going to do that. She's going to have had two kids between the ages of my DD and my #2. She has an S13 boy, a March15 girl and is expecting a third in July16. The older two play so well together that I think she felt comfortable bringing another one into the mix.
Wow surfmama106, that's a fast time line! I'm sure it would be challenging while you have a newborn but they would all be so close in age and have so much fun together!
I have a friend who's going to do that. She's going to have had two kids between the ages of my DD and my #2. She has an S13 boy, a March15 girl and is expecting a third in July16. The older two play so well together that I think she felt comfortable bringing another one into the mix.
Oh I'm well aware that it sounds crazy, but to be honest with you I do pretty well managing crazy. And the way I see it I'm 34 now. I don't really want to be 39 and having my 3rd or 4th (bite my tongue) and these newborn/toddler years are really so short. I might as well do it now, while I have the energy and keep them all close together. If I were 25 I would have 2, then wait like 4 years and have another 2 but that kind of time line will have be working until I'm 70.
Wow surfmama106 , that's a fast time line! I'm sure it would be challenging while you have a newborn but they would all be so close in age and have so much fun together!
I have a friend who's going to do that. She's going to have had two kids between the ages of my DD and my #2. She has an S13 boy, a March15 girl and is expecting a third in July16. The older two play so well together that I think she felt comfortable bringing another one into the mix.
Oh I'm well aware that it sounds crazy, but to be honest with you I do pretty well managing crazy. And the way I see it I'm 34 now. I don't really want to be 39 and having my 3rd or 4th (bite my tongue) and these newborn/toddler years are really so short. I might as well do it now, while I have the energy and keep them all close together. If I were 25 I would have 2, then wait like 4 years and have another 2 but that kind of time line will have be working until I'm 70.
If I do have more, I think that's how it would go down. I don't want to make a super concrete decision based on my temporary feelings of exhaustion/insanity. Sometimes I wonder if I shot myself in the foot having 2 SO close together. Kinda burns you out. Maybe I would have wanted more if these 2 were even just a few months further apart.
Post by daffodilsandcoffee on Jan 28, 2016 8:11:33 GMT -5
Ideally, we wanted 2-3 kids. Realistically, we might be one and done. We are still considering having another, mainly because we both loved having siblings and can't imagine what life would have been without them, especially as our parents age.
So what's keeping us from trying for another? Mostly health factors and anxiety. My pregnancy was ok, but there were parts that I can't imagine going through with a toddler to take care off. I was induced for preeclampsia, and then had several complications during labor and delivery that had me in the ICU for the first several hours of my son's life. Recovery was brutal and lasted much longer than the typical six weeks. It all really took its toll on my husband and I physically and mentally. I also have some health conditions that contribute to any pregnancy being labeled high risk, and lack of sleep is really bad for me, health wise. Oh, and did I mention that I'm 32, so waiting until my son is old enough to be self sufficient doesn't really seem to be a viable option. I have an appointment to discuss my concerns with a doctor in late February. I want to see, realistically, what my chances are of having a second traumatic birth experience. Then we will make our decision. It's really hard, because we both feel like our family isn't done yet.
Tl;dr: We have one and would love at least one more, but we don't know if I would physically and mentally survive having another.
What would be your ideal family size if you had no restrictions? 4
What is your realistic family size? 2... maybe 3
Do you think your ideal family size is affected by how many siblings you and your SO had? yes- I have one sibling and we fought constantly when we were young and my friends with more siblings always told me that it was nice to have other brothers and sisters to talk to if one of them wasn't particularly helpful. It also seems like a lot of fun to have a big family.
What do you think has affected your family size planning the most? (Age, financials, step LO's, etc) Financial burden is the biggest hurdle to more kiddos. Daycare is expensive and we both work full time. I've also felt like I wouldn't have enough time to devote to 4 kids while working full time, but with that said, people make it work every day.
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