Anxiety Check-in

[Bluedaisy]

Hi Everyone,

I know we've talked about PPD and PPA before but it seems to be coming up a lot in threads lately so I thought I'd do any anxiety check-in.

Right now my overall anxiety isn't bad but I'm really struggling with anxiety about introducing new foods and allergies.  Allergies don't run in either family (other than mild ones to cats, etc.) but I've taught kids with life threatening allergies so I have had some experience with them (although I've been very lucky to never see a kid react).

I'm really struggling to turn off the hyper-vigilance and I'm now starting to worry that it will have an adverse affect on LO and how he feels about food. I really don't want him to grow up terrified that food will make him sick.

I've been thinking of going to the PPD/PPA clinic at our health unit (it's free) to talk to someone about it, but I'm not sure if this is just normal and also my DH really doesn't understand anxiety and depression.  It's not something that runs in his family or that he has experienced so it's really hard to talk to him about it.


Sorry for the novel but I would love to hear any insights and how you ladies are all doing lately.

tl/dr: anxious about allergies, DH doesn't get it/ should I see someone?

[billyhorrible]

Feb 8, 2016 15:06:20 GMT -5 Bluedaisy said:

I'm really struggling to turn off the hyper-vigilance and I'm now starting to worry that it will have an adverse affect on LO and how he feels about food. I really don't want him to grow up terrified that food will make him sick.

This is my guiding force.  With everything anxiety related - not specific to food.  I know that a lot of my anxiety/neuroses are because of my parents, and I really want my kids to not face the same challenges.  Because it does affect our kids. I think we do the best we can, and there's a limit to what's within our control, but I really try to do everything that is within my control to keep things in check.

I know I said this during pregnancy, but there is so much not in our control about these kids.  There is always the worry something bad is going to happen to them.  And that's the perfect fuel for anxiety.  So the concern/worry/anxiety about our babies, their health, wellness, and happiness is totally normal.

So that being said, if I were in your shoes, I would definitely talk to someone.  I think your anxiety about food and allergies is normal, but maybe the extent isn't?  And I only say that because it seems to be affecting your ability to function.  You're able to recognize that your thoughts are irrational, but not able to move past that.  And this is where it gets twisty. 

[erbear]

I would definitely talk to someone about it if available to you, because, like BH said, it's sounding intrusive. That's what I've worked on in therapy to recognize in myself - when is something overtaking my life and what to do about it.

I have a ton of anxiety over food as well, but mine relates more to choking. I gave LO some inside of a baked French fry and she gagged and cleared it herself, but I panicked and wouldn't give her any more.

[holliberry28]

I'm sorry you're struggling with anxiety related to food allergies Bluedaisy. I agree that depending on how much it is impacting your life, it may be beneficial to go and talk to someone. Do you not introduce new foods at all? Do you let H or family feed LO? Or do you feel that you need to be the one to (or not to?) I would think that although it's scary, the more you do it and practice, hopefully you'd get desensitized a bit? I'm just thinking out loud here. Have you tried cognitive behavioral therapy?

I mentioned earlier that I needed to stop being so negative and complaining so much. My complaining is feeling compulsive, especially when it's dealing with my family, it's hard to control. My H has had enough too, and feels like he's become my dumping ground. And, I don't want that. Going back to therapy now is not an option, there's no time in the week for it, and I've heard it all before. I just need to be really mindful of my thoughts, and redirect myself once the negativity and the obsessive worrying happen.

[Deleted]

Bluedaisy I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Would it ease your mind to talk to the pediatrician about it so the dr can walk you through the steps or signs of severe allergic reaction vs a mild one? That way in case something does happen you have all the mental tools to be able to react quickly.

[Bluedaisy]

Thank you so much ladies. It is definitely affecting my days. I don't eat things that are known high risk allergens if I'm home alone with LO. I tried to talk to my mom but she scoffed at me and basically said "just feed him al the foods, he'll be fine". My mom and I are really close but I don't think she understood it.

Today I talked to DH and I feel better. He was very understanding about it and reassured me that the anxiety is not completely crazy. We did decide I'm going to call the clinic and make an apt. for next week.

Hopefully talking things through will help.
holliberry28, I have been introducing new food but I find that I spend the rest of the day I watch him. DH talked about it with me and we realized that it usually about the fact that when I'm feeding him I'm home alone with no vehicle. So we're going to only introduce foods when DH is home.

[periwinkledaydreams]

My anxiety comes in massive heaping waves still. It will feel like it is gone, but then it sneaks up on me unannounced and is crushing. It is mostly health related, and work related, or out-of-work related. Life change/finance related? I don't know. I have a therapist but at my last appointment I didn't schedule my weekly follow-up, and my weeks have been spiraling with other appointments I've had to cancel several of for sitters being sick and just not having anyone to keep LO, so I haven't actually seen her in probably almost a month now. I HAVE to get on that. I feel like a huge burden on those around me asking them constantly to keep my kid to I can go to this doctor, that doctor, weekly therapy, twice a week physical therapy. The source of my anxiety IS this mostly, plus my workers comp battle.

I'm breathing easier most days than I was back in December, but I'm not quite where I want to be. I should really call and make an appointment.

[Bluedaisy]

periwinkledaydreams, dealing with workers comp sucks. I'm sorry that you're dealing with all of this.

[billyhorrible]

periwinkledaydreams, health and finances are such big stressors, and yours are so intertwined that your anxiety seems pretty understandable. I hope you're able to get an appointment soon.

[ombradellarosa]

Bluedaisy, my mom tries to reassure me in a dismissive way too and it is really unhelpful. Idk why they do that. It is so rude.
periwinkledaydreams, that is stressful! Good luck to you! I know what it's like to feel like a burden.

[baytosa2013]

Feb 8, 2016 15:38:22 GMT -5 billyhorrible said:

Feb 8, 2016 15:06:20 GMT -5 Bluedaisy said:

I'm really struggling to turn off the hyper-vigilance and I'm now starting to worry that it will have an adverse affect on LO and how he feels about food. I really don't want him to grow up terrified that food will make him sick.

This is my guiding force.  With everything anxiety related - not specific to food.  I know that a lot of my anxiety/neuroses are because of my parents, and I really want my kids to not face the same challenges.  Because it does affect our kids. I think we do the best we can, and there's a limit to what's within our control, but I really try to do everything that is within my control to keep things in check.

I know I said this during pregnancy, but there is so much not in our control about these kids.  There is always the worry something bad is going to happen to them.  And that's the perfect fuel for anxiety.  So the concern/worry/anxiety about our babies, their health, wellness, and happiness is totally normal.

So that being said, if I were in your shoes, I would definitely talk to someone.  I think your anxiety about food and allergies is normal, but maybe the extent isn't?  And I only say that because it seems to be affecting your ability to function.  You're able to recognize that your thoughts are irrational, but not able to move past that.  And this is where it gets twisty. 

Bluedaisy I felt that way about food too.  I tried it a couple of times and thought for sure she was choking.  It wasn't until I started seeing people on here starting to give their babies things that I was like "ok it's time to get over this and try to give her things"  We started with the puree's and I slowly started to add things that would mash up easily like bananas and avocado so I could be sure she could get it down.  Then i moved on to soft fruit like cantaloupe and honey dew that she could mash on.  She ended up being much more adept at eating these things than I thought she'd be and now the anxiety is gone.  Can you maybe try doing something like that to help ease YOU in to it?

ETA: sorry I just saw taht it seems specific to possible allergic reactions and not choking.  that was just me haha