WWYD - Telling work

[lpj]

As part of my work (because I was on a graduate program), I have to do 6 monthly rotations to different teams at my firm. On the 24th I am moving to a new team. The timing is good, because the rotation will end basically at the same time as I want to start mat leave.

After that rotation (which will be my last) I need to choose a team to 'settle' in. I will then stay there permanently.

My hope is that the team I am currently in will let me return and settle there.

The normal practice is to schedule a meeting with the senior partner of the team to discuss the prospects of settling prior to moving on. I plan to do this next week.

I will only be (not even quite) 10 weeks. I want to be upfront and honest with them and say that I want to come back, but that I don't want to come until March (rather than Sept) because: baby. I think they will be good about it, but is it too early do you think to be telling them? The alternative is to tell them I want to come back but kind of fuzz over when, and then come back in a few weeks to tell them about the baby. I feel like that's a bit messy and also a bit almost shady?

The pregnancy has been smooth and uncomplicated so far and we saw a strong heartbeat. I just wish I had my 12 week scan first.

[serendipity731]

Can you push the meeting out until you're 12wks? If not, I'd tell them at the meeting. I feel it's usually best to be up front with things. Good luck, whichever you decide!

[lpj]

Hmm not really unfortunately - my scan is after I will have already left the team and I really should talk to them about coming back before I go. Thank you!

[zengal]

You say you want to be up front with them- telling them at the meeting, even if it's a bit earlier than you prefer, is the best way to do this. You anticipate they'll be cool...I wish you hope and luck!!

[PSUchica]

I think you should tell them at the meeting. Only a couple of weeks early and I think they'll appreciate having the full story to include timing. Good luck!

[fem]

I think you should tell also. I believe the statistics are with a strong heartbeat and 10 weeks there's only around a 3% chance of something going wrong. Good luck!

[lexisophie55]

I'm in the same type of situation, and I'm not telling. I don't feel comfortable, and do not want them to know, if something were to go wrong.

You are the best judge of this.

[LadyNymeria]

I really want to wait until after the NT scan to tell anyone else so I probably wouldn't tell them yet. I would have the meeting and let them know you'd like to come back to their team, then in a couple weeks meet with the partner again and let them know about the pregnancy.

While I don't actually feel like you need to apologize for not telling them at the first meeting, a short "I'm sorry, I was waiting for my next appointment to tell people" should be enough (IMO) for them to not get upset you waited the 2 extra weeks to tell them.

My answer is purely based off the fact that I personally don't plan to tell anyone until after that next ultrasound.

[fem]

Feb 12, 2016 7:21:05 GMT -5 fem said:

I think you should tell also. I believe the statistics are with a strong heartbeat and 10 weeks there's only around a 3% chance of something going wrong. Good luck!

I should rephrase.. If I were in this situation this is what I would do. But in the end do what you are comfortable with, I don't think there is a 'wrong' option.

[sodapop]

I'm all for honesty and openness when possible with my management. It builds confidence and respect in my own experience.

From the situation you're describing, I would probably tell him and ask that he keeps it to him until you're comfortable to share.

[merryrissmas]

Could you meet with them now and express your desire to join the team, but ask for a follow up meeting in a few weeks and give the news/details on timing then? If not I would probably tell them, if you're comfortable with that.

[pismoduo]

I'm a bad source of advice for this because I've already told basically everyone on my team at work and basically told my boss about a week and a half after I got my BFP.

But personally, I would say something. Tell them that you'd like to keep it all quiet because you're still waiting for one more appointment before you feel comfortable spreading the news, but you wanted to be upfront with them about when you'd be able to join the team.

[LadyNymeria]

Feb 12, 2016 12:06:26 GMT -5 pismoduo said:

I'm a bad source of advice for this because I've already told basically everyone on my team at work and basically told my boss about a week and a half after I got my BFP.

But personally, I would say something. Tell them that you'd like to keep it all quiet because you're still waiting for one more appointment before you feel comfortable spreading the news, but you wanted to be upfront with them about when you'd be able to join the team.

Actually, I change my answer. I really like this approach.

[rubberchicken]

I've had to tell early both pregnancies because I've been so sick, but I only told my manager. I think it's fine to tell the manager you need to tell, and ask them to keep it confidential.

[getzystark]

Feb 12, 2016 12:06:26 GMT -5 pismoduo said:

I'm a bad source of advice for this because I've already told basically everyone on my team at work and basically told my boss about a week and a half after I got my BFP.

But personally, I would say something. Tell them that you'd like to keep it all quiet because you're still waiting for one more appointment before you feel comfortable spreading the news, but you wanted to be upfront with them about when you'd be able to join the team.

All of this.

My situation is pretty different in that I'm in an office with only 4 other people. They all knew I was going through IF treatments so they knew the Monday after my BFP.

However, in your situation, OP, I'd do what Pismo said.

[hurricanerek]

Feb 12, 2016 12:32:37 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Feb 12, 2016 12:06:26 GMT -5 pismoduo said:

I'm a bad source of advice for this because I've already told basically everyone on my team at work and basically told my boss about a week and a half after I got my BFP.

But personally, I would say something. Tell them that you'd like to keep it all quiet because you're still waiting for one more appointment before you feel comfortable spreading the news, but you wanted to be upfront with them about when you'd be able to join the team.

Actually, I change my answer. I really like this approach.

+1

[lpj]

Thank you all for the advice, it is very much appreciated! I think I will take what seems to be the most popular approach and tell them and ask them to keep it quiet for a bit. Thanks again!