Thread for F16 moms?

[WittyLittle]

Guyssss I was just thinking... we never got round to making a thread for the F16 moms I think because of the exodus and everything here still being new. Maybe it's an idea to offer a thread of things we found useful when our LOs turned around 1month? Idea? 

(ETA: or from birth of course... many are still waiting to pop!)

[WittyLittle]

Congratulations on your (nearly arrived or newly arrived) squishes!!!


General advice:

- "It's only temporary". This was my mantra through the bad times. It's very cliche but true... I only ever realised in hindsight that a problem like colic was lessening. At the time it always felt like a neverending uphill battle.

- Let the house be a mess. At one point you'll have the time to clean it back up. The messier your house is, the more people will realise they could help and not just overstimulate your newborn and then hand it back to you when it cries.

- Try not to resent your partner if you feel they are not pulling their weight- try to have agreements instead. DH and I had to divide roles and responsibilities because the bickering was getting insane over who did how many diapers and if 1BFing session was the same effort as soothing a colicky baby.

-Sometimes shifts are a great idea. DH would take 10pm-3am and I took 3am-8am.

- From around 4weeks we started a bedtime and naptime routine which really helped. The E.A.S.Y. method worked best for us:
noobmommy.com/2008/12/easy-routine-from-baby-whisperer.html

[dreemkin]

Hi! Welcome to motherhood!

It's okay to not like the newborn stage. Just hold in for a few months and it'll get better. I think 9+ months is when it gets really fun! Of course newborn snuggles are great too.

Alternating wake-ups with your SO really worked for us. That way, you get at least a few hours of sleep at a time.

Take lots of pictures! And write down special moments/milestones/firsts to fill into their baby book later. And don't forget to enjoy your little miracle.

[michelle142]

- Embrace the mesh undies. They aren't that bad.

- Accept help. I know everyone wants to be super mom, but accepting (and asking) for help is perfectly ok.

- Girls can shoot pee across the room too. So be prepared for that.

- The cliche: "things will get better" is very true.

- It's ok to get frustrated. You just went through a huge life change and everything is suddenly very different. Take a deep breath and remember the aforementioned cliche.

- If you suspect PPA or PPD, the sooner you ask for help from your health care provider, the better. Don't put it off. They won't judge you. They are there to help you. Don't suffer because you're afraid of judgement.

- Breastfeeding: it can be frustrating. I know, trust me. If you're having any trouble, reach out to a Lactation Consultant ASAP. You may need to see more than one to find one that's a good fit for you. They are fountains of knowledge and great sources of support.

- Make time for yourself. Even if it's only 15-30 minutes of reading or showering. "You" time is a key to sanity.

- Anyone and everyone will want to tell you how they did things. Be it 5 months ago, or 20 years ago - EVERYONE wants to add their 2 cents in on everything. The best thing you can do is listen, and nod where appropriate - then proceed to do what is best for YOU.

Congrats Feb. 2016 Mamas!

[tortor4]

Congratulations F16 mommas!

Soak in the newborn snuggles. Before you know it, your baby won't want to hold still for a minute.

Try not to compare. Every baby is different and what works for someone else doesn't work for everyone.

Your partner can't read your mind. If you need their help, ask them. But be gentle, they're probably new at this too.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with formula feeding, no matter the reason.

Try your best to take it all in. "The days are long but the years are short" is the truest and most helpful piece of advice I've ever heard.

[lilyelayne]

• You're doing great.

• Those post partum hormones are a bitch. It gets better. Try to get outside when you can, tough with a winter baby, but even just a couple breaths of fresh air can help. If you suspect it's more than just temporary hormones making you feel not yourself, please reach out to your health care provider.

• Take care of yourself. Sitting on the couch all day holding and feeding and soothing a baby is what you need to do right now. It's okay if your toddler watches some extra TV the next couple months. It's okay if the house is a mess.

• Keep communicating with your partner.

• If you're still waiting for your squish, make some padsicles. They are the best for post partum. (tutorial here but put a strip of wax paper on top before you fold the pad back up.)

• If you have a baby who loves to be held alllll day long, look into babywearing. A stretchy wrap or a ring sling can be good places to start. It's amazing how nice it is to have one or both hands free again.

• Swaddles with Velcro are the best.

• You're doing great.

www.goodbyecb.proboards.com/board/74/breastfeeding

[mrsclark731]

Congrats February '16 families!

-accept help. Take all the help. Especially food--you need to eat too.

-it's ok to tell people no. Visitors are much different than help.

-everything is a phase, and it does get better (or else no one would have more than one kid, right?).

Enjoy your squishy babies!

[kartish]

First off, congratulations! Enjoy those newborn snuggles!

Second, with a baby there will always be somethings left undone. Do what you need to, not what you feel you should. Keeping yourself and the tiny human(s) alive and well is most important.

Also, take pictures of yourself and the baby. Take pictures of your SO and the baby. Take pictures of your loved ones with the baby. But make sure you are not always behind the camera. Your kid will want to see these layer and don't you want to be in them? You may have spit up in your hair, or have not showered, but get in the picture!

Also, be a team with your spouse. Talk to them and work things out so it's not you and the baby in your own bubble. Let them help, even if they don't do it exactly how you do it. Let them be your co-parent.

And finally, babies figure things out on their own time. But baby proof things before you think you'll need to. Babies are good at getting into dangerous things.

[seamonster]

Congratulations! Newborn snuggles are great.

Take care of yourself -- eat and rest when you can. Delivery and premade food are acceptable for all meals. Healthy snacks help with the constant hunger of breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding a newborn is a lot of sitting around. Netflix is your friend. Binge on a show or two or three. If you start feeling guilty about not talking to your newborn enough read an adult book aloud (Kindle app on your phone is great), because it can get harder to get your reading in as they get older.

Go for walks and do any and postpartum stretches the hospital recommended. And as soon as you are cleared for more exercise mom and baby yoga is great for bonding, getting into shape, and meeting other new moms. And babies love the noise of Starbucks.

Parent/baby showings at the movies are a lifesaver. You can watch an actual new movie without getting a babysitter. The sound is lowered and the lights are dimmed and everyone has a non-mobile baby.

If people offer help take it. Despite what your in laws may think, holding the baby doesn't count as help. Give the grandparents and aunts and uncles chores to do in exchange for baby cuddles. Laundry, vacuuming, toilet scrubbing, whatever.

Put the baby in the crib with the mobile on and shower. You'll feel better and baby is safe and entertained. Buy a battery powered motor that goes and plays until you shut it off so you can really enjoy your shower.

Don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel anxious or sad or scared or angry or just not right. Ask your partner to tell you if they think something is wrong. PPD and PPA are real and treatable and very common. You are not alone and the sooner you get help the sooner things get better.

If breastfeeding hurts or you're not sure if things are right, hire a IBCLC. Even if you just need some hand holding. Your insurance probably covers it under the ACA. A professional guiding you makes a huge difference.

[Deleted]

Congrats F16 mamas! I really miss those newborn snuggles My advice:

Sleep when the baby sleeps, clean when the baby cleans.

Reach out sooner rather than later if you think something is off. PPD and PPA can happen to spouses as well, which is good to keep in mind.

Breastfeeding can be the hardest thing you ever do. It can also be super easy. But most of the time it's somewhere in between, and it's ok to feel frustrated about it. It's also ok to quit if you want to - it's no ones choice but yours and you shouldn't let anyone guilt you into doing something you don't want to do.

"It's just a phase" - I cannot tell you how many times I've used this mantra. Even if things are super shitty ATM, it will pass eventually. For now, just try to hang on. It will get better.

It's ok to be scared, confused, tired, angry and worried at times. But you are a fantastic mom and your baby loves you unconditionally. You are doing great.

[mishka29]

Congrats!

Have a cooking day and make lots of freezer meals

No one ever told me how much breastfeeding would hurt. Like toe curling pain. But lather on the cream and curl your toes, it doesn't last too long so hang in there!

Trust your gut. Mama knows best!

[WittyLittle]

Just thought of another one. I was suprised by how much friendships changed. There's a really obvious divide now between the people who just liked hanging out to fill their time, and the people who really liked us and want to be there in our new "boring" lives as parents. And that's ok. I was sad about some friendships fading but I appreciate the ones that stick around so much more

And again. You're doing great mamabear. Always remember that

[dmorgendorffer]

Looking back I think these were the things people really didn't tell me to expect:

1. When you first get home from the hospital, stairs are kind of a problem. Try to get set up so that if you have stairs in your house you only have to go up/down like once or twice a day. You are going to be recovering too so let people do things to help you.

2. Breastfeeding was painful for me, but only on one side. We had to experiment with different holds before we were able to get a good latch - keep trying and changing things until you are comfortable. The painful part only lasted about 2 weeks - We're still going strong at almost a year now, if you can make it through those first weeks it gets so much easier! Lanolin is your friend.

3. Find something you want to watch on Netflix / Hulu / Prime whatever - you are going to be spending a lot of time on the couch snuggling and feeding your baby.

4. Feel free to ignore all the advice you get that you want to ignore. Do it the way you want to and that works for you and your baby.

[taberbtb]

Congrats F15 parents!!

1. Nothing lasts forever. No amount of crying, screaming, colic, nothing. It feels like it does but I promise it doesn't.

2. Take all the help that is offered to you, and don't be afraid to direct people. If someone offers to help with the baby while you nap but what you really need done is laundry or house cleaning tell them!!

3. There are a lot of growth spurts in the early days. Know when they are and don't worry if your baby is feeding more often. S/he isn't starving they're growing. Relax and get comfy. This too will pass.

4. Kegels are for everyone!!

[WittyLittle]

Feb 16, 2016 13:02:56 GMT -5 badw0lf said:

Here's some advice for when they get older:

That horrific smell coming from your sweet baby is totally normal. No need to call the doctor, priest, rabbi or veterinarian. Little butts make nuclear stinks. (Insert winky face WittyLittle)

Hahaha yesssss!
The smaller the poop, the worse the smell. Beware of the nuclear nugget (also known as nukey dooky).

[dreemkin]

Also, be prepared for things to not work out as you expect. It's okay and you get over your expectation pretty quickly. Plans change as you figure out what works for you.

And some others have touched on this but I'll go a step further: breastfeeding sometimes isn't a "choice" or something a lactation consultant can "fix". Physically breastfeeding wouldn't work for me (tmi: flat nipples and little to no milk production). Don't be made made to feel guilty, lazy, or like formula is evil. I was so grateful for formula once I needed to go that route.