Potty training help

[twinmomma]

I'm losing my mind with potty training. We started in earnest, underwear, no diapers, no looking back, right around Jan 1. 

Since then, they can consistently go 2-3 days with zero accidents, perfect potty use, no issues. Generally, they'll be perfect all weekend while home with DH and I. Then the work week starts and it all goes to hell. Monday - Friday are totally hit or miss on whether or not they care enough to use the potty and will be accident free. Generally they have at least 1-2 accidents each on those days.

MIL is totally on board and following the same method we use, so I'm not sure what's up with her days. Nanny is even more strict than us, so I don't get it. They'll pee immediately after she has them try. My dad is a disaster and not helpful, so his one day a week is a total crap shoot. 

I just can't see any kind of end in site right now, but at this point I feel like we've come too far to go back into diapers and we would be shooting ourselves in the foot and losing all progress. But, at the same time, I am so frustrated and tired of the accidents and inconsistency with it. How much longer can this possibly go on? Any advice? 

[sandandsea]

I think they're about 2.5 based on your sig so they may just not quite be ready yet. DS was trained easily at 2.75, but had been showing interest for a long time and had been using it off and on for almost a year when we finally pushed it. Here are some things that helped us:
1. A reward sticker chart. He got something after 10 stars. 1 star for using the potty at home and 1 for staying dry all day at school. Rewards were things like making cupcakes, going out for icecream, a new movie, a toy, etc.
2. He picked out big boy underwear - he liked knowing he was keeping lightening mcqueen dry/clean too.
3. The other kids at school - he always wants to do what the big kids are doing as soon as one of the older boys in his room got underwear, DS wanted them too.
4. Gummy bunnies - he got 1 gummy bunny for #1 and 2 for #2. We're way past the sticker chart now, but he still likes getting the bunnies. I dumped a bunch of the little packets into the Oxo tight seal containers so he can see them.
5. When we finally did go for it, he had a dr. appt Friday afternoon, so I took off work and we went home after and did underwear only for Friday and Saturday. We stayed close to home (exception was a 1 hour bike ride to dinner and back and he told us at the restaurant when he had to go) and close to the potty. Sunday he graduated to shorts and underwear and did fine. He had 1 accident over the whole weekend.
6. He was older and could totally communicate and tell us exactly when/what he needed.
7. A Cars potty chair and stool. It was fun to sit on/play with so he was more interested.

[ericalee27]

Ugh, sorry it's been a tough road. My experience with DS1 was similar. We started to PT around 2.5yrs, and he was pretty inconsistent for awhile (months), particularly at home. It all seemed to just click for him (both pee and poop) just before he turned 3, so we had a few months of awfulness. This is also why I've sworn I won't even think about PTing DS2 until he's 3 or he's putting himself on the potty, whichever comes first.

[mustardseed2007]

I think this is kind of normal. It took quite a while for my DS to become consistent, particularly with BMs. After 6 months he isn't wearing a diaper for naps, but he still wears a pull up at night and we still have the occasional accident if he's in a new environment (last week he had 2 accidents in his new preschool room after having zero in his toddler class for over a month).

How similar is the actual set up between the different care situations and your home? DS goes on a little potty at our house, and really can't stand sitting on a big potty unless there is a little person seat for him. When we are out, the most he'll do is pee standing up. So if he went some place that didn't have a little potty and didn't have a stool or someone to give him a boost, he'd be in trouble.

ETA: When we started PTing Ds it was September or October and he fell in love with candy corns so he gets a candy corn for going potty. At this point he doesn't ask for one every time, which is good b/c they're kind of out of season and a bit hard to find.

[2chatter]

The difference between DS PT at 2.5 and DS PT at almost 3 was like night and day.
He was just as you describe - until he wasn't.
I would say keep them in pullups until they are staying dry. I switched DS to the Walmart store brand that were very thin and told him they were big boy pulls ups and when he kept them dry he would move on to underwear.

He asked me to wear underwear one day. A week later we went to underwear full time.
(and he has occasional accidents - last night he was playing and forgot, ugh, until he was going then stopped and ran to the bathroom, but that's very infrequent now)

[sugarcraze]

I would think they'd be able to get it now, especially since they go for you consistently on the weekends. Are they fans of anything? You have girls, right? But are they into princess stuff? Or, a certain character or anything? Sometimes, what works for us (with anything really) is if I explain to my daughter that's not what princesses do. She's all about princesses and always says she is one. So I try and use that to our advantage. The reward chart that sandandsea recommended could definitely work too.

I don't know your situation, but would it be possible to take a week off from work? Or at least a few days around a weekend to get a solid number of days in a row home with you before their environment changes when you're at work?

[twinmomma]

We've done M&Ms for successful potty use, and it seems to work. Except that they don't even ask every time now, they've lost interest.

My dad and the nanny are at our house, so they've got the two little potty seats to use. MIL also has two little potty seats at her house, so it's pretty consistent.

The weird thing is, they don't want diapers anymore. They love wearing underwear and will even fight us on pull ups for nap/bed sometimes because they want their big girl underwear. They're extremely verbal - super advanced for their age in that area, so communication is definitely not an issue.

We've been testing out potty use since the summer and they were showing interest, so we made the leap. I feel like now we're just in this awful limbo zone.

Maybe we need to implement a more hard core/official chart system so they can track their progress better.

[Divefrog]

 I don't have much advice, but I totally commiserate with you!

 DD is exactly the same age and we started the last week of 2014. On the weekends with me she is 95% reliable. She still asks for a diaper for #2, but that is totally ok with me becuase it lets me know she needs to go and I can work with her to do it on the toilet.

My parents have been less than enthusiastic and no where near as consistent about working with her,  but I just had a 'come to jesus' meeting with them and told them the box of pull ups I gave them was the absolute last box, made sure they had a little potty, and 12pairs of training underwear. So, I am hoping that we will make good progress now that they are fully on board.

I am just ready to be able to take her out of the house reliably, which I haven't felt she is ready for yet. I am trying to just be calm about the whole thing and let her learn/lead the way.  No good has ever come from trying to get DD to do things on anything but her own timing.

I keep telling myself that she doesn't NEED to be fully trained until September when she starts preschool, that and alcohol keep the 'crazy/frustrated' feelings on this subject in check.

ETA: We have tried stickers as rewards and screen time, and they worked for a few days, but she quickly lost interest. She doesn't seem all that motivated by much of anything. Again, I am trying to be zen and not make the same mistake I made with trying to "sleep train" from 5-7months that accomplished nothing but driving me crazy. DD is just a kid that has to do things when she is ready. I just try to set her up for success, which it sounds liek you are doing for you kids too. They will get it soon, it will just feel like a long time  

[twinmomma]

I'm glad we're not alone Divefrog - I guess I'll just stock up on alcohol and paper towels.