Marriage/Couples Counseling

[risscaboobs]

We haven't, but I think it would be helpful in any marriage, honestly. I would definitely be open to going even though I consider our marriage "good" or whatever.

[ironbaby]

I'll PM you later.

[RajahMD]

I voted "other" because we did premarital counseling with our officiant prior to getting married. I do think it helped us prepare for marriage.

I would definitely do counseling again if we got stuck and needed a neutral 3rd party.

[cateyes]

If you have, I don't want your marriage details, but when looking for a counselor what did you look for in one? I looked for a counselor who was close to work because we were going during the day and then one that talked about working in current issues, not just our pasts. Also one that talked about communication.

Can you use health insurance somehow? We could use our insurance to pay almost fully once we hit our deductible.

Would you recommend going? Yes-it gave us more tools to talk with and understand each other. Also an open "neutral" space to discuss the tough issues we weren't hearing each other on.

Did that third party help your marriage? Yes, we went from separating to working through things to know being in a really great spot.


Obviously you don't have to respond to all of these if you don't want to.

[ironbaby]

I will put this here in the meantime.

If you think your marriage could benefit from counseling, it will.

If you think your marriage won't benefit from counseling, it will.

There are a lot of resources out there that aren't just normal counseling. Check with your church. Also check to see if there is any kind of school for counseling close by. There is one in our town that charges $35 for a visit. These are counselors in their last year of training before they enter the profession. Do not let money get in the way of a better marriage.

[butlerfan]

Feb 18, 2016 17:42:12 GMT -5 RajahMD said:

I voted "other" because we did premarital counseling with our officiant prior to getting married. I do think it helped us prepare for marriage.

I would definitely do counseling again if we got stuck and needed a neutral 3rd party.

That's what we had as well. I guess I should vote other as well.

[butlerfan]

Feb 18, 2016 17:45:56 GMT -5 ironbaby said:

I will put this here in the meantime.

If you think your marriage could benefit from counseling, it will.

If you think your marriage won't benefit from counseling, it will.

There are a lot of resources out there that aren't just normal counseling. Check with your church. Also check to see if there is any kind of school for counseling close by. There is one in our town that charges $35 for a visit. These are counselors in their last year of training before they enter the profession. Do not let money get in the way of a better marriage.

I agree with the bolded.  We've had some very trying times in our marriage and while we are in a good place as a couple if we needed counseling we would.  I think we have learned to be open and honest with each other which helps greatly. 

[queenofcats]

We've never done it before, but I'd be willing to go if I felt like it was for the best.

[ohinvrtedworld]

Yes yes yes yes I am pro-counseling for all people. We are Christian and use counselors who work in a faith-based practice but if you go this route, I recommend them still having/pursuing a degree from an accredited school. For minor things, a pastor or leader you trust can give some great insight but a professional is generally best when you are investing money and time into something as important as your marriage!

[ladytiffany24]

We haven't done marriage counseling but I am pro-counseling all around. We struggle with certain things and have discussed doing it a few times. Ultimately we decided a couple of the things we've got going on might be better suited for separate individual counseling for the time being. But we've both agreed that if we feel we need it, we'll do marriage/couples counseling.

[kleigh]

+1 to queenofcats

I voted other because we haven't gone or talked about/considering going but if we were at a point that it was vital then we definitely would. I've sought counseling on my own years ago for anxiety/panic attacks and depression and although only a couple months it provided me with GREAT tools and confidence to overcome the fears and stresses that were causing my attacks & depression. That also turned out to be a great foundation to reconnect to when IF began to eat away at my life's pleasure.

[icedtea]

We haven't done it, but I would. I think most relationships (regardless of how healthy) benefit from staying on top of communication and getting an outside view.

[samanthasays]

My Ex and I went to marriage counseling through our church. It was a horrible experience. The therapist was way to busy, she was back in school and was super preoccupied with that. I felt like she never knew who we were, even after going for months.

I would probably try it again though, but through a regular practice, not church. That one bad apple spoiled the bunch for me there.

[teraiin]

Feb 18, 2016 17:19:46 GMT -5 risscaboobs said:

We haven't, but I think it would be helpful in any marriage, honestly. I would definitely be open to going even though I consider our marriage "good" or whatever.

This pretty much summed up my thoughts.

[Ray]

Lurking... Soggy warning.... Sorry - mobile

DH and I have both gone to separate counselling to work on our own stuff and have also come to each other's sessions to work on "us" stuff. The biggest thing is that you guys mesh honestly. I have a friend who went through three before she found one that clicked and didn't feel like a waste of time. My biggest advice is that if its not helping don't give up on counselling, just that counsellor.

I don't know how it works in the U.S. / at your work. But both DH and I were covered through work benefits.

I would absolute recommend counselling. I was able to work on issues I didn't even realize I had and am much happier/healthier because of it. DH has gotten much better at dealing with his PTSD, we've gotten much better together.

Our situation was a bit unique with the PTSD bit but having a third party made me a lot braver to speak my mind to what I was unhappy with. He also helped both DH and I know when our expectations were unrealistic or when we were projecting something or whatever. He just helped us to identify things we were unaware of and facilitate communication skills.

Hope that helps - good luck!!

[thechickencoop]

What they all said. If you're thinking of going, then go.

H and I had a few sessions a few years ago basically because we suck at communicating and can be really intense. It was an eye opener to have an outside, neutral party go, ok, this isn't working, here are some tools to make it work.

I have been by myself in the past as has H; he has just started going again because he definitely has some unresolved PTSD issues; I'm anxiously waiting to see some sort of...result...I guess.

It can be a very long road though so you have to be patient.

ETA we have always just gone through our insurance and found someone locally. I think currently they are coded as a specialist so we've only had a $20 copay but previously visits have been $150+ with a high deductible plan.

[helloerrbody]

We haven't gone to counseling, but before we got married we both agreed to go to counseling if we ever feel like we need it for whatever reason.  We did do pre-marital counseling actually but it was a group setting.  We are very pro-marriage counseling in general.

[cjchio]

We've never gone, and haven't felt the need to, however, if it would benefit our marriage to go, or one of us felt like we needed it, we would definitely go.

[wannabmama]

I'm on Tapatalk and it won't let me vote...but I am big in favor of counseling. I haven't gone with H and I definitely think it matters a lot on the therapist themselves and how they work with you both, bc I have seen it work well and not work well. But if they are a fit that fees good to both of you, I think a neutral place to talk and work on communication is usually a great opportunity.

[icequeen]

(((HUGS))) W, I hope it helps y'all.

[peaseblossom55]

I am seeing a therapist now, a grief counselor really. I've offered for H to come and he hasn't taken interest. I also told him he could see my therapist on his own time. I can't force him I'd love for him to come to some of my sessions though. We did pre martial counseling though through our church, it was helpful though.

My insurance covered 3 free sessions and I just have a co pay for my sessions.

Sending you lots of hugs.